An ambitious leader knows she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals. But, to her, networking feels slimy, so she asks her coach for help. Some core concepts from this episode: The purpose of networking is to know people. Don’t target people. Nurture a relationship. Make networking 5% of your job every week. Networking makes you a more valu…

Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned. Tom’s Top Three Ideas for Mastering Nerves: Celebrate Incremental Improvement Write Happy Endings Ignore Your Nerves Here is the clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety. https://www.youtube.com/watch?…

Angry at himself for continually putting others’ needs before his own, a leader turns to his coach for tools. He learns a new way to think and a behavior to try. Be in touch with Tom here. Listen to Tom’s conversations with Neha on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast here and here. Our Essential Tools bin has free resources to help you build your look a…

A vice president, struggling to control his team of artists, learns a technique for managing bad behavior from his coach. He likes it so much, he uses it with his high performers, too. The tool described in this episode is simple to understand but may take a bit of courage to implement. Courage can be taught. Brené Brown created her Dare to Lead co…

A leader is so furious with his self-absorbed boss, he considers quitting the company. He asks his coach to help him manage himself and defuse his triggers. In addition to the five strategies Tom talks about in this episode, there are lots more strategies in his conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching For Leaders “How to Deal with a Boss Who’…

Tired of losing to more savvy players, a leader seeks to decode the secrets of playing politics, focusing particularly on company culture. Download our free Political Style Chart here. “The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. Looking for a transcript of the show? Read it here. More tools are in our podcast library. T…

A leader feels stuck. She sees others winning resources she felt should have been hers, but she hates playing politics. What to do? Download our free Political Style Chart here. “The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. Many more tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories: Self-Talk Leadersh…

A leader, surrounded by people she knows and trusts, can’t seem to get traction with them. In conversation with her coach, she discovers an unexpected cause. Tools for teams abound in this episode. The four tools Tom suggests as first steps for helping your team openly discuss ideas are: Say ‘thank you’ when people offer an idea; Be curious; don’t …

A co-founder, at odds with his partner (also his best friend!), reaches out to his coach for help saving the business and the friendship. The episode introduces The Conflict Resolution Wheel. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like the Feeling Words Grid. The Wheel is based on a tool in the Couple…

A senior leader, having risen through the ranks, ends her coaching engagement by comparing notes with her coach about the skills that have helped her most. This episode identified seven essential leadership skills: Conquer catastrophic thinking; Use fewer words; Value relationships as highly as results; Don’t take anything personally; Commitment to…

At the end of her rope, a leader asks her coach for help managing a direct report who, she says, is the most defensive person she’s ever met. This episode was packed with tools. We’ve put them into an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here. Kim Scott, the best-selling author of the electric book Radical Candor, wrote a short, fri…

During her first C-suite years, a leader burned a lot of bridges. Her boss, who’d traveled a similar path, gets her a coach and sets only one goal: repair relations through emotional intelligence. Lots and lots of tools and resources this month: Free downloads: The Feeling Words Grid EQ Model Books and papers to sharpen your skills “Executive Prese…

A highly effective leader finds herself in the middle of a terrible mess, not of her own making. When her coach marvels at her ability to stay calm amidst the chaos, she shares a lesson she learned from her dad. In addition to the tools discussed during this episode, Tom also talks about: “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are Hi…

Wanting to command rooms with her voice, a team leader turned to her coach for exercises. She learned the secrets of “RVP.” In this episode, five practices to help you develop a voice that will command a room are discussed: Vocal variety Expect resistance Rhythm Volume Pitch This episode has multiple tips and tools for each of those five developmen…

In conversation with her coach, an executive explores whether leaders and managers use language differently in order to be effective in their roles. There are lots of ideas in this episode. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we’ve created an infographic for you to download. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the othe…

An executive, in conversation with her coach, wonders if leaders and managers are different. And whether it matters. This episode has lots of ideas flying around. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we’ve created an infographic for you to download. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Help yourself! This epi…

A leader, stuck in an unhealthy cycle, searches for a way out. In conversation with his coach, he learns a four-square tool that just might work. A new free Essential Tool illustrating the four-square model is available for download in the Essential Tools bin. No login required. Help yourself. The model in this month’s episode is a variation on The…

A team leader had a habit of jumping to conclusions. His most recent leap landed him in hot water. In conversation with his coach, he learns a tool for making better choices. We created a new free Essential Tool illustrating The Ladder of Inference. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Please help yourself. The “Don’t Judge To…

A senior executive worries that his lieutenants are not being taken seriously by the senior leadership team. He discusses with a coach how to help his rising leaders accelerate their growth. This is that conversation. We created a new free Essential Tool for you called “Executive Thinking.” It illustrates the “altitude” analogy Tom told during the …

A leader causing upset among her people is given a coach. In conversation, they examine what might be triggering people to be upset with her. The exploration leads to a simple, yet difficult, idea. Transcripts of every episode are available for download in our library. Tom mentioned two episodes with mindfulness tools. They are: The Mindful Executi…

A team leader is tired of kerfuffles. In conversation with her coach, she learns to use a simple chart that generates almost miraculous results. The chart is available to you here. Please, help yourself. Other tools for leading your team that Tom mentioned in this episode include The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni. You can download…

What’s helpful to say when you’re in an argument? How can you prepare to have an argument? This month’s coaching conversation dives deeper into the topic of “Conflict” which began last month. This episode has scripts and concepts for mastering The Conflict Conversation. We’ve created another PDF to support your leadership development. It’s a feedba…

Conflict is inevitable, but most of us were never taught skills to help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called “Conflict.” This month’s coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House. If you’re looking to develop your executive presence, our latest …

A leader, often reticent to speak up on her own behalf, learns tools to help her ask for what she wants without worrying she’ll incite a battle. This month we’ve created another free PDF for you in our Tools bin. This one is to help you use video playback to achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Libra…

Kindness is killing a leader’s ability to set and hold effective boundaries. She works with her coach to find her voice and along the way discovers an empowering image about boundaries. We’ve put lots of free PDFs in our Tools bin to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: …

A worried leader seeks help finding balance between going with the flow and giving himself a larger voice. Visit our Tools bin for free PDFs to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Assertiveness Managing Yourself Relationship Building Five related episodes you might list…

A missed promotion prompts a leader to complain to her CEO. The CEO responds by getting her a coach, which results in explorations of authenticity, self-awareness and self-management. Visit our Tools bin for free PDFs to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Managing Your…

A leader, ashamed of hurtful words she spoke to a colleague, explores what happened with her coach. She learns seven techniques for keeping herself from future emotional hijacks. Download a free PDF about the seven steps to help you stop emotional hijacks here. This episode is tagged in five categories in the Podcast Library: Managing Yourself Perc…

A leader is given a presentation coach and two goals: ‘tell a better story’ and ‘be more responsive in the moment.’ This episode is the coaching conversation about the second goal: be responsive in the moment. This episode is tagged in four categories in the Podcast Library: Communication Skills Executive Presence Presentation Skills Self-Talk Six …

A leader is given a presentation coach and two goals: ‘tell a better story’ and ‘be more responsive in the moment.’ This episode is the coaching conversation about telling a better story. There are four tools in the episode: 1. Grab our list of questions [please link to the PDF] 2. Build a puzzle for your listeners 3. Create a hero in jeopardy 4. W…

Worried that working remotely has disconnected her team, a leader asks her coach for help and learns a powerful tool. Being able to lead your team in growth exercises is a critical leadership skill. This episode is full of tips and guidance for strengthening that muscle. Tom strongly endorses the Liberating Structures website. Lots of amazing free …

A no-nonsense leader is asked to add coaching to her list of duties. She turns to the coach who’d coached her for a quick immersion course. Coaching your people requires a shift in thinking and a specific set of behaviors. These ideas are captured in a PDF about the GROW model. It’s available to you for free here. This month we are offering three f…

Frustrated at not showing up the way she wants to, a leader, in conversation with her coach, explores ways to integrate her values into her behavior. To show up as more of whatever you want to be, ask yourself: What would be different if I were a little braver right now? What would a brave person do right now? What would I think, or what would I fe…

In this episode, a leader feels she lacks courage. She engages her coach in a conversation about how to use self-awareness and self-management as tools to help her become a little bolder. The self-talk scripts discussed in this episode, plus the four-box process Tom described, are available to you in a PDF. You can request it in an email to Tom her…

Self-awareness, like any muscle, can be built through discipline.In this episode, a leader learns two exercises to help build awareness of her thoughts and feelings. The two exercises discussed in this episode are detailed in a PDF that we’d love to send you. Send us an email and we’ll send back the PDF. The PDF also contains the Feeling Words Grid…

A new leader worries about having to become a dictator in order to meet her goals. She and her coach explore the challenges inherent in trying to be a truly democratic leader. Core concepts in this episode: When pressured, many leaders revert to giving orders. People need time to feel safe speaking up to a new leader. A democratic leader doesn’t ha…

A leader, initially described to his coach as clueless, confronts a hard truth about himself. In the process, he gains a four-step tool to guide him through tough conversations. Core Concepts in this episode: To convey a tough message and maintain a positive relationship: 1. Start with a full-stop. Act, don’t RE-act. Identify why this conversation …

This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to make feedback more palatable. The secret: sort the feedback you receive into three distinct categories. Many ideas in this episode and last month’s episode are explained more fully in the book: ‘Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well – even when it is off base, unf…

This month’s coaching conversation follows a client as he works to shrink his blind spot through feedback. He and Tom discuss lowering the barriers that stop us all from taking in feedback. In the episode Tom mentions “Thanks for the Feedback” by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen. Tom also mentioned the PDF showing The Johari Window. Related episodes a…

This month’s coaching conversation features a leader too talented to lose but too troublesome to keep. Tom talks with him about blind spots and how he might reduce his. PDFs for you: The Johari Window Who’s Coachable Win an hour of free coaching with Tom. Complete our survey. The full archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Related Archive…

In this special episode, Tom tells a story of being onstage one night in front of a packed theatre audience when the show most definitely did NOT go on. He also shares the lesson he learned from that calamity — a lesson he has subsequently shared with the hundreds of leaders he’s coached who need confidence as presenters. The archive of all the pas…

This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom and Courtney, another executive coach. What traits, they wonder, do effective executives share? If rising leaders wanted to reverse engineer what it means to be executives, what would they put in the mix? The five qualities Tom and Courtney identify are: Resilience -- get over hurts and setbacks Inf…

This month’s coaching conversation features a newly promoted leader. He and Tom explore the tools needed to build a strong team quickly. Lots of links this month! At one point in the episode, Rafael mentions his impostor syndrome. For tools about impostor syndrome, check out: The Executive Impostor In the commentary, I mention two books: The Five D…

Two dates: Monday, November 30, 2020 The survey closes. Complete four questions to be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom https://essentialcomm.com/survey Thursday, December 3, 2020 Registration closes for “Leveraging Your Strengths and the Strengths of Others.” After decades delivering courses for our corporate clients, we finally cre…

This month’s coaching conversation is about creating a script called ‘Style.’ The script helps make difficult conversations easier. Complete this month’s four-question survey and be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom. essentialcomm.com/survey Sign-up for a small-group, highly interactive Zoom course about the DiSC Behavioral Self-Asse…

This month’s coaching conversation follows a leader who worries that he’s not very adept when it comes to creating personal connections. He and Tom explore two skills and one mindset that will help ease his way. Related episodes: Dynamic One-on-ones Facilitating Open Dialogue Inviting Dialogue Questions as Leadership The Human Element In the archiv…

This month’s coaching conversation explores how leaders can foster psychological safety. Teams high in both safety and accountability enter a “Learning Zone” where high performance follows naturally. In this month’s conversation, Tom and his client mentioned “The Checklist Manifesto” by Atul Gawande. His proposition is a great formula for creating …

This month’s coaching conversation explores whether feedback should be given upwards in the first place. If so, are there ways to deliver upward feedback effectively? In the commentary, Tom tells a story about the famous Marshmallow Test being debunked. Here's the column he mentions: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/06/marshmallow-te…

This month’s coaching conversation follows a client exploring a surprising use for video, plus a game of imagination. The Marshmallow Test is explained in “Self-Awareness & Self-Management” Core Concepts in this episode: Video provides distance that can help break old patterns. Some people are highly agitated these days. Their agitation is not abou…

This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the obstacles that arise when you try listening to people who think out loud – often at great length! This month’s coaching conversation is wide-ranging. It includes a leader’s story about being buoyed by her team. She and Tom also swap answers to a favorite question of her team’s: “How’re ya coping?…