The rider, the elephant and the path! A concept to help you think about change. If we want to make some change, our brain has to get involved. Our emotional side of the brain is more powerful than the rational side of the brain. The rider is the rational side of the brain - riding the elephant, the emotional side of the brain. The path is the clear…

People can forget what you do and what you say - but they'll never forget how you make them feel. Feelings stick with us - our emotions are strong. How do the people you're surrounded by make you feel? We're responsible for how we feel - other people don't create those responses in our emotions - that's our response. And then we realise we have age…

What are your top skills? And are you putting yourself in situations where you can use them? Are you considering them when your in situations that push you out of your comfort zone - i.e. how they might be able to help you? Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our product…

If you could wave a magic wand - what would your life be like? What a question! What are your big dreams and where are you now in terms of making those dreams come true? We have this one life and it's our own responsibility to make sure we make the most of it, because one thing is for sure, Prince Charming isn't riding in to save us! How often are …

Are you feeling the stresses and strains of working a lot - burnout perhaps? Workaholism is what it's been called in other media. Workaholism is making headlines at the moment in the same way as alcoholism and/or drug abuse would impact lives. Referencing The Guardian article that we talk about in the podcast https://www.theguardian.com/society/202…

How are you positioning yourself in the workplace to be seen - perhaps for promotion purposes - or to be 'seen' in your role? Do you feel that, to do this, you need to mask the 'real you' and exploit other behaviours that don't come naturally? For example, if you're an introvert, do you feel you need to show up with more extrovert behaviours? In th…

We can only meet you as far as we have met ourselves! Meaning: When we're working with clients in coaching, we can go deep, if we've explored these deep areas with ourselves beforehand - so that we understand what it means to know ourselves in a deep and profound way. The iceberg is the metaphor - we have those behaviours and traits that sit above …

Do you feel confident to give feedback to others? This can help to reduce difficult conversations - however, many people don't feel comfortable having these conversations or even know how to give feedback well. Giving positive feedback is often more easy - but what about the not-so-positive? Ideally, feedback should be given when it's required - do…

Are you dreaming big? When we dream big, we might wonder - is it all a delusion of grandeur? I wonder what would happen if all entrepreneurs thought this way. But they don't. When met with failure, Richard Branson would say 'dream bigger - and go again!' When we're dreaming bigger, how are we thinking about our self worth? How do we plan and strate…

This episode explores a common theme in leadership coaching for Becki and Fay - "I'm not a manager, so what I say doesn't matter!" Is this something that's true for you? Do you feel that your voice doesn't matter in a room? That your views aren't valid? As we explore this, we wonder if it's a cultural issue - or, what's in a title? This impacts peo…

Today it's Fay's turn to have a rant! Do you follow Gurus on social media and take them at their every word? People set themselves up as 'experts' and we follow them - but then I see people losing the ability to think for themselves around the 'experts' subject. Asking questions like 'is this allowed?' Critical thinking and making decisions is our …

Do you find yourself saying that people never listen to you? Or they never take you seriously? Or you have some other thought about someone that you take with you - maybe they often wind you up, etc. Here's something to consider: if we only base the things we think about people from their past behaviours - they're never going to grow in the present…

Can you do everything? This year, so far, (2024), Fay has been making a jigsaw of her diary to get 'on top' of everything. Subconsciously, she has seen messages from 'everywhere' saying 'you can't do everything'! What happens as a result of taking everything on board - where does this leave us as people? Before we know it, all our spare hours can b…

Becki wonders 'Is nothing good and pure anymore in and of itself?' Things like: fiddling the algorithm on social media to your advantage; manipulating stories; getting one over on others for your own means, etc. Technology enables competition and allows us to get ahead. Subsequently, this takes away the purity we may once have taken for granted. As…

Are you in alignment with your personal values? Perhaps you’re not sure. Let’s face it, how often do we outwardly consider our values. But you will know when you’re out of alignment because something will just feel off. So, take this opportunity to think about your values – how are you feeling about them? Do you need to reframe them in any way to h…

How do you think you're perceived at work? This episode is inspired by a few different female clients who have talked about being perceived as a bitch - either because they have something to say or because of their way of working. This is something Becki talks about having experienced in the workplace herself. Do we need to worry about how others p…

Talking about the Window of Tolerance concept - coined by Dr. Dan Siegel, MD - how we understand and describe our body and brain reactions. To have 'tolerance'. We all have a window for tolerance that can get bigger or smaller depending on what's going on in our lives. How wide is your window of tolerance? What's happening in your life that might a…

Is 'Coaching' becoming a bit of a buzzword in Leadership Development? Leadership development often talks about different leadership styles - and a coaching style is one. Still, we wonder if leaders are adopting a true coaching style or paying lip service to it! Coaching is different to advice and mentoring - and we often see some confusion here. Ke…

How do you let your team know that they're important to you? Do you value them? Strong relationships are important with your team regarding productivity, performance and profits. Everyone needs to understand WHY they come to work - how THEY make a difference - and if you're not valuing your team, that understanding can quickly disappear (on a perso…

Things can easily become stressful situations - sometimes they're little things you feel shouldn't be stressful. My stress will be different to yours. What matters, is what we do about it. At this time of year, we take on quite a mental load and there are expectations put upon us that we have to deal with. All of this can add to our stress bucket! …

Are you busy being busy - busy keeping occupied doing things that you think are important - but are these things actually moving the needle for you? Do you know you're busy? Are you always busy? What are you achieving whilst you're busy? This then can lead to overwhelm - where are you with regard to this? All of this comes back to organisation? Wha…

Bad leadership - when do we see this and what does it mean? Toxicity - and the toxic culture - why does this happen? Egos! Are leaders making leadership about themselves? Is it even leadership if it's not working? Have a listen to see what we think - and of course, we'd love to know your thoughts too. Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com Rebekah…

In this episode, Becki poses the question "what would we be if we weren't coaches?" So we ponder on this - chat about what we've done before and what our interests are now - and what lights our fire. Tune in to listen to find out! Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our …

Does working on your own hamper your personal and professional development? - Talking about what we pick up from our working environment and working with other people. We pick up so much from just being around other people - quick, short, sharp conversations or even listening to other conversations. Do we therefore struggle because we're not around…

We get a bee in our bonnets about communication! And so, this episode is about 'clear' communication and why it's important. People's expectations can be managed with clear communication when we take responsibility for the messages we're giving. Think - 'What do I need to communicate?''Is my message consistent?' 'What have I said before about this?…

What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want? What a great question! Do you really need to give anything up - why can't you just have it all? But don't assume that you need to give up something good! Also, is it us trying to have it all that leads to chronic stress and burnout? We share an exercise to help you prioritise your goals…

The weight and responsibility of leadership - inspired by mine and Becki's clients. Leadership training, courses, books - don't really cover what the role of leadership really means. Bringing leadership to a human level means 'who and I and where do I sit in leadership?' 'how can I lead and inspire people?' - it's a weight and a responsibility. Whe…

How can hobbies help you with your development of yourself? Do you have a hobby? I talk about the fact that I don't have anything that I perceive to be a hobby. But do my hobbies look different to how I perceive other peoples to be? We talk about how hobbies can help you to regulate your nervous system and why that's important. Contact Fay - https:…

An episode inspired by the sitcom 'Schitt's Creek'! And we're talking about - can you trust your instincts? Where does the message come from when we feel we have instincts? The brain or the body? Past experiences or something new? We have data within our body that we can rely on - but we need to know how to access it and interpret it. So we give yo…

Today, we're talking about taking a different view of 'luck'. Is it really 'luck'? If not luck - then what is it? We're talking about the choices we make as individuals. Sometimes when we observe others, we might think they're lucky if they have things that we don't. But is it really luck, or a different lens, or choices that others make that we do…

When you feel you're stuck in a vicious circle - you're doing things that perpetuate where you are. But you can't always get off the circle. When you break the actions, do new things, take different action, things change and a chain of change can start to happen - all of a sudden you can find yourself on more of a virtuous circle. - This is where p…

Knowledge is empowering - once you know better, you have the ability to do better. But - sometimes we wish we didn't know certain things - because that means we have to make a choice: Ignore the new knowledge OR implement the change - and embrace the impact the change will bring. Is this a barrier for you if you want to develop yourself further? On…

How you do anything is how you do everything! - This statement gets us thinking - is this true? Perhaps on a very big picture level - but certainly not when you get into the nitty-gritty of a situation. Perhaps this way of doing things comes in waves throughout our lives - it's not linear, depending on what we're doing at any given time. What are y…

Personal branding - perhaps not something you think about unless you're a business owner. When you work in an organisation, you may not often think about your personal branding in the role you have. Personal branding: what do you want to be known for? Personal brand is about knowing your purpose - what are you here to do? How do you visualise that?…

In this episode we're looking at making the best of situations - acceptance of what's going on for ourselves. When things happen to us, our sympathetic nervous system is activated - our fight, flight and freeze response. Accepting what happens in our lives can help to bring our nervous system out of the fight, flight, freeze response and back to ou…

Talking about being ready to do something. Being ready is actually a decision that we make! What does this mean? It means we make a decision to do something - rather than waiting for the motivation to start. Sometimes we get out dopamine from things that fly in the face of the things we want to achieve - so making the decision to do something means…

A special episode. This is number 100! A milestone. We're celebrating being in pursuit of the better you! We're re-visiting the essence of the podcast and chatting about what it means to us to be in pursuit of the better us. Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our produc…

In this episode, we're joined by Dr. Tony Cerella ACC, who talks to us about transitioning from a long standing service in the US Army. How this is, when 23 years of your life and identity is one thing, to then being in a whole new world. Tony talks about navigating his feelings, his meaning, his worth - for himself and his family. He talks about b…

How can we have difficult conversations in a healthy and productive way? Often we avoid the difficult conversation - but in doing this, we're not helping ourselves - it doesn't make the issue go away. Difficult conversations and situations will always exist - and subjects might be emotive, so we need to consider how we need to be in order to sort t…

What happens when you don't feel creative? When you're not on it. How do you turn those feelings around? What does creativity even mean to you? We're talking here about how creativity may look different to how you think it should - perhaps we need to be creative about how we're creative. Are you giving yourself permission to think that you can have…

We've realised we actually disagree with each other on something! Shock horror! Fay is very much an 'all or nothing' kind of person. Becki is more 'slow and steady wins the race'. We both have the same goal at the moment - but we're approaching it from different ways. We'll have to wait to see which may work better - if any! But when you consider h…

Talking about jealousy today in this episode - what does this mean for us when we're feeling all the feels of jealousy. Becki and I invite you to think about when you last felt jealous and what was going on there? What was it all about? Often, we can feel jealous because we're feeling 'I wish...' 'I want to do that too.' Wishing we'd done something…

How are you at speaking up in meetings? Are you shy? Do you not like the sound of your voice? Do you think your opinions aren't valid? What would give you the confidence to speak up in meeting? Facilitation of meetings is important to consider when being or feeling able to speak up in meetings. How are you being included? - How are you including ot…

How clear are you on who you are and what you do so that you can be impactful and influential in your role? Are you trying to influence someone - who maybe can't be influenced? How much time are you spending here? What might you need to do or think differently? A useful tool to help you understand how you can think and do differently, is Stephen Co…

Talking about failure - thinking about reframing our thoughts here - and the idea of embracing the possibility of failure. How does failure fit with 'fixed' and 'growth' mindset - the work of Carol Dweck? Becki asks the question - what are you willing to fail at, as a manager or a leader? Fay responds to that question in that she's not 'willing' to…

In this episode we're thinking about preparing for an appraisal / performance review. How does it make you feel if you're asked to bring a list of your achievements to your appraisal? What else do you need to do to prepare to the best of your ability so that you go into your appraisal feeling comfortable and confident? Have a listen, because as alw…

In this episode, we share a great coaching tool called 'The Wheel of Life' - it's a really versatile tool that could help you in your life, or your career, or a relationship - anywhere where things aren't quite in balance. We explain how to use the wheel and how you can self-coach yourself and reflect on what's important to you - where are you now,…

What's the difference between belonging and fitting in? As human beings, we have that need for connection - our network and our connection with others to help us thrive. But there are 2 sides to this - the fact that we fit in and the other side, belonging. We can often make sure we fit in - to ensure our needs are met - but how do we get to the poi…

Are you always eating the broken egg? I.e. if something isn't quite right - do you always give yourself the 'crappy end of the stick'? Those things that lead to you re-thinking situations are often bought about by the small things that you put up with - little molehills that mount up over time. If we flip this - the other side might be that you're …

In this episode, we're thinking about the things we do that our future selves will and won't thank us for. And this is about becoming quite conscious of what we are doing in the moment - and the impact that that has for you in the future. Sometimes we have to think about what we really want and how our daily actions impact what we ultimately want. …