Best Felonious Monk Podcasts (2024)

1
The Black Death (Or H Gon Give It To Ya!) 1:21:45

2h ago1:21:45

1:21:45

We go back to a time before we lost the time machine to celebrate our Veterans on Memorial Day and learn about an amazing feat by and amazing man as The Hard2Watch Podcast celebrates Henry Johnson. Like the Wu Tang Clan, this dude ain't nothin to fuck with! Read our Tweets and participate in our listener polls @ItsHard2Watch on X Follow The Hard2Wa…

1
Captain LAMOTU's Bedtime Tales (Or The Brothers Were Grimm) 1:15:46

4h ago1:15:46

1:15:46

Captain LAMOTU and The Monk discuss presidential brain worms, the state of modern reading technology, why running as a hobby is a red flag, and the Cap ruminates about how his pop used to make up and fall asleep during bedtime stories and reads you a couple first edition tales from The Brothers Grimm. This ain't your grandma's Rapunzel....it's like…

1
Lawman 6 1:15:28

6d ago1:15:28

1:15:28

Well kids, we're back in Jefferson Parrish with Steve and the gang to take on crime and the stories of the individual characters that make up the police force are really starting to come together. Follow along as Steven, the Colonel, Fat Bald Cop, Ethnically Ambiguous Cop, and Sgt Powell celebrate the life and legacy of the late Police Chief Harry …

1
Antioch Or The Second Best City Of It's Kind 47:15

12d ago47:15

47:15

Cap and The Monk give you a double dose of History today when we learn why it's a bad idea to bury yourself in cement and what happens when a city breaks a Persian Kings heart. Plus our heroes stir up riots and lose the time machine?!?!?! Noooooooooo!!! Read our Tweets and participate in our listener polls @ItsHard2Watch on X Follow The Hard2Watch …

1
Lawman 5 Part 2 1:22:13

9d ago1:22:13

1:22:13

We're back for the stunning conclusion of Chief Seagal Lawman Episode 5! After two gun crimes Steven wants to make sure his boys skills are sharp so we get more classic police training in how to escalate every situation possible! We also break down how hurrying up to slow down on a breach is maybe not the best idea. Plus The Monk is sneaking up on …

1
Lawman 5 Part1 1:13:40

1M ago1:13:40

1:13:40

The Captain and The Monk are back on the streets of Jefferson Parrish with Chief Seagal and the gang keeping guns of the street and "gently" throwing people into cars. Our heroes also teach proper table etiquette so you don't look like a jacket full of assholes in front of your date. Plus 50% more shotguns, woodchippers and roleplay! All this and m…

1
The Atomic Priests (Or They Get Bored In Ohio) 1:25:32

1M ago1:25:32

1:25:32

Today Cap and The Monk discuss the passing of starting Criminal of the Buffalo Bills The Juice OJ Simpson, We learn about nuclear energy and one of the AEC's many ridiculous shenanigans, when they tried to create a real life Fallout style religious cult based around buried nuclear waste and tales of The Cap'n in the Capital waste land! So strap you…

1
Sir Jeffery Hudson (Or Our Favorite Little Bugger) 1:12:07

1M ago1:12:07

1:12:07

Today we hop back into the time machine to witness the life and times of a little guy who's story is truly a tall tale. There will be carnival shenanigans, feats knightly daring do, duels, love, and ultimately our hero will find god (allegedly)....much to his detriment (As is how these things usually go). Buckle up because you're about to "ride" in…

1
Conservative Core Games (Or How we Learn What Words Mean_ 1:43:45

1M ago1:43:45

1:43:45

Today Captain LAMOTU and The Monk take on The Essential Conservative Core Games list. 40 Video games that are "Conservative"? We'll just see about that! Armed with a deep knowledge of Red Blooded Bible Belt America as well as Oxford definitions of what words actually mean, our heroes go through to whole list and get to the bottom of this! Time to f…

1
Lawman 4 1:34:35

2M ago1:34:35

1:34:35

The results of The H2Dub listener poll is in and Lawman 4 won in a landslide victory getting 100% of the votes, so Cap and The Monk put the work in and went to battle against Lawman yet again!. Round 4 is thrill packed with Steven Seagal wrist controlling cancer, Fat Bald Cop finding buccaneers prowling the streets, and We finally got to see Seagal…

1
Formosa (Or How Psalmanazar Put The "F" In Making fhit Up!) 1:32:58

1M ago1:32:58

1:32:58

Today On The Hard2Watch Podcast Cap and The Monk discuss the enchanted land of Formosa where legend has it they eat their children and their cheating wives and wear dinner plates as pants! At least according to one guy who had Oxford University, nay, the whole of England fooled. Plus we read from an ancient manuscript, discuss depictions of Satan, …

1
The Ufa Train Disaster (Or Cap Vs The KaTrashnikov) 1:01:46

2M ago1:01:46

1:01:46

Cap and The Monk are visiting Soviet Bloc Russia via tank launched temporal shell to talk The Ufa train disaster, the deadliest peacetime rail disaster in Soviet Russian history as well as going full gun podcast for a bit to absolutely trash Russia's favorite export, the gun that "Has killed more people than God". It's an explosive Random Historica…

1
The Legend Of Steven Seagal (Or The Birth Of H2Dub) 1:24:39

2M ago1:24:39

1:24:39

From deep in the archives Captain LAMOTU presents the proto podcast episode that would eventually become the global phenomenon that is The Hard2Watch Podcast. Just two guys, drinking their way through a couple cases and discussing the martial arts. Hear how it all began on this very special episode of The Hard2Watch Podcast, because we love you! Re…

1
The Great Stink (Or You Can't Drown In Christmas Pudding) 54:06

2M ago54:06

54:06

Today H2Dub is taking another trip through time back to the year 1800's to talk about the state of the river Thames in 1850's London. You're really going to be glad you grew up now Vs back in the Victorian days...unless you are really into some Hot Karl...So hop on the Skidoo and let's get this pervert built time machine flying because we've got a …

1
Saint Olga (Or The Patron Saint Of The Hard2Watch Podcast) 45:51

3M ago45:51

45:51

Today we're talking about roller blading Al-Queda's, Napoleonic genitalia, and arguably the greatest historical example of true wife material the world has ever know! Bonus drinking game next week, take a shot every time you hear the word penis! Have a dialysis machine handy! Read our Tweets and participate in our listener polls @ItsHard2Watch on X…

1
Hellbound Part 2 1:18:13

3M ago1:18:13

1:18:13

Get ready for the round house kicks to commence as they are backloaded heavily in part 2 of The H2Dub Hellbound review. Frank Shatter (TV's Chuck Norris) continues to terrorize his partner in Jerusalem, while mucking up crime scenes, doing B&E's and harassing citizens all while round house kicking some ninjas, monsters, and demons! Plus we get some…

1
Hellbound Part 1 1:36:43

4M ago1:36:43

1:36:43

Finally Chuck Norris round house kicks his way onto The Hard2Watch Podcast. Cap and The Monk discuss police standard operating procedure, how to dig with a sword, and so much more in part one of the H2Dub review of Hellbound! Read our Tweets and participate in our listener polls @ItsHard2Watch on X Follow The Hard2Watch Podcast on Facebook and get …

1
Random Rambles (Or How McMahon Is A Big Bag Of Shit) 53:53

3M ago53:53

53:53

This is a surprise extra episode of the Hard2Watch Podcast because we had some extra time to kill. We go over Nintendo using their hardware to improve your baseball watching experience, Red Wine pie, the tragic loss of the legendary Carl Weathers, and the case against Vince McMahon. All that and Murray The Unpaid Intern gets Deported to Serbia for …

1
The Feast Of Mike Rockerfeller (Or A Bad Time To Leave The Boat) 39:15

3M ago39:15

39:15

Today Our Heros talk another Random Historical Happenstance about the Legendary Rockerfeller family, most notably the son who decided that it was a good idea to swim to cannibal island alone and get close to the natives....and get close he did....OOOOOH Fuck, a friend of the show Dutch territory cannibalism is back baby!!! Read our Tweets and parti…

1
The Moisture Accelerator (Or Hatfield Will Make You Wet) 53:21

4M ago53:21

53:21

Today Sizzle and Mizzle bring you another fantastic Random Historical Happenstance! This time our boys are gonna learn you about sports statistics, projectile vomit ballistics, How the U.S. tried to take down Castro and how one member of The Flash's rouges gallery almost destroyed a town on the left coast under the employ of big Daddy Govt! Plus so…

1
The IPPU Club (Or How to Make Your Terlot Glow) 1:13:33

4M ago1:13:33

1:13:33

Today Mizzle and Sizzle bring you another dose of learning with the smooth taste of ingested plutonium or in some cases...injected....Big Daddy Govt can't be trusted and you can find out why in this informative and health forward Random Historical Happenstance! Also, Johnny Depp is not my Tanto. Read our Tweets and participate in our listener polls…

1
The Lost Episode Tribute (Or How To Fail At Podcasting) 57:27

4M ago57:27

57:27

Today we get to learn all about what happens when your various recording methods and redundancies fail and you are left with nothing to show for 4 hours of recording as Cap and The Monk grieve the loss of two excellent RHH stories as well as talk about how much Jeeps suck (Until they sponsor us) and the things that should've happened to Joseph Meng…

1
2023 Was Hard2Watch (Or How We Survived Another Rampjaar) 1:12:17

5M ago1:12:17

1:12:17

From subs piloted by an Xbox controller to Senators giving handgibbers at a play, to snakes raining down from the sky to land on unsuspecting women just trying to do some chores, 2023 was a hot mess and Cap and The Monk cover some of their favorite shenanigans from the past year in their recap of 2023 in all it's glory! Plus a live review of what A…

1
Home Alone 3 Part 2 1:38:34

5M ago1:38:34

1:38:34

In part 2 of the Hard2Watch Home Alone 3 review Cap and The Monk talk traps and try to get to the bottom of the disturbing secrets the Pruitt family is hiding behind their shiny upper middle class veneer! Plus how many times can an 8 year old commit premeditated murder in one afternoon and still be called a hero? And how much property damage can he…

1
Home Alone 3 Part 1 1:26:23

5M ago1:26:23

1:26:23

It's X-Mas day and The Hard2Watch Podcast has one more present for you to open! That's right, A special Christmas day episode! We're covering Home Alone 3 for you. It's inept criminals, sociopathic kids, and all sorts of questionable decisions by the late great John Hughes! Read our Tweets and participate in our listener polls @ItsHard2Watch on X F…

1
The Great Gama (Or Fank Gotch Is A Pussy) 1:01:54

5M ago1:01:54

1:01:54

The Felonious Monk's X-Mas present to you, his first ever show edit: The Story of The Great Gama, a legendary wrestler who never lost a fight! Let's get ready to rumble!!! Read our Tweets and participate in our listener polls @ItsHard2Watch on X Follow The Hard2Watch Podcast on Facebook and get all your H2Dub News and Updates straight from the Capt…

1
Ticker Part 2 58:48

6M ago58:48

58:48

This week on the Hard2Watch Podcast, Cap continues his experiments with dropping movie audio in with the H2Dub commentary, Tom Sizemore continues to run about town with a bomb by his Johnson and Steve Seagal will finally wrist control this movie to a dramatic conclusion! Take a journey with us now as we relive "Ticker Part 2" on The Hard2Watch Podc…

1
Ticker Part 1 1:14:34

6M ago1:14:34

1:14:34

This week Steven Seagal teams up with a legitimate all-star cast but still manages to crank out a movie that is complete trash, proving that no matter how much talent you surround him with in a post Under Siege world, he will force everyone to play down to his level! Don't say "bombs" say "devices" as this ticking turd detonates in our faces today …

1
Silphium (Or Roman Viagra) 39:18

6M ago39:18

39:18

Today on the Hard2Watch Podcast the crew talk about the current state of the porn industry as well as how the Romans handled everything from unwanted pregnancy to hair loss to getting their little legionary to stand tall in the bedroom! Say yes to excess with Silphium! ::Warning! This one is probably not safe for work (Like any of them are):: Read …

1
The Feast Of The DeWitt's (Or How To Give Someone "The Dutch Impeachment") 56:58

6M ago56:58

56:58

Today on The Hard2Watch Podcast another classic Random Historical Happenstance: The story of two brothers, their commitment to public service, and their legacy that literally lived on inside the very citizens they served! Buckle up for a wild story this time around. When the Dutch aren't happy with their leadership they aren't shy about letting the…

1
The Hard2Watch Podcast Thanksgiving Special 57:20

6M ago57:20

57:20

It's our first Turkey Day together on the Hard2Watch Podcast, so Captain LAMOTU and The Felonious Monk sit down to say what they are thankful for. Finally Steven Seagal's elbows get the credit they deserve! Happy Thanksgiving everybody!! Read our Tweets and participate in our listener polls @ItsHard2Watch on X Follow The Hard2Watch Podcast on Faceb…

1
Under Siege 2 Dark Territory Review Part 2 1:56:59

7M ago1:56:59

1:56:59

Captain LAMOTU and The Felonious Monk finish off the review of Under Siege 2 with this beast of an episode. Skynet is coming alive in the real world as we tackle Ryback's tactics, cock rings, bad cgi, and earthquakes on a plane! All that and more on this epic episode of The Hard2Watch Podcast! Read our Tweets and participate in our listener polls @…

1
Under Siege 2 Dark Territory Review Part 1 1:27:06

7M ago1:27:06

1:27:06

Steven Seagal is back to haunt your ears and Cap and The Monk's lives as today our heros talk about the Ultimate Warrior being a total lunatic and the sequel to the only good Seagal movie we've seen so far. This time it's "Die Hard on a train" as we discuss Under Siege 2 Dark territory. Including step by step instructions for how to steal helicopte…

1
Rod Ansel "The Real Crocodile Dundee" (Or Fuck you Paul Hogan) 46:57

7M ago46:57

46:57

Mizzle and Sizzle talk bear hunting, and head back to the land down under to discuss Koala chlamydia destroying marriages and a true legend of the outback in Rod Ansel. This guy will absolutely make you question your masculinity when you hear about his super human feats and then break your heart with the absolute tragedy that later befell him, in a…

1
An American Werewolf In Livonia (Kind Of) 1:16:38

7M ago1:16:38

1:16:38

With Halloween just a few days away, Count MaCula and Sizzforatu, (AKA Cap & The Monk) have one more werewolf tale for you and this one is ripped straight from the pages of history as we jump feet first into danger with another Random Historical Happenstance! When a church is robbed and the grain is stolen by demons, who you gonna call? That's righ…

1
The Howling 3 The Marsupials Review Part 2 1:50:12

7M ago1:50:12

1:50:12

Count MaCula (Cap) and Sizzforatu (Monk) finish the marathon review of arguably the worst movie ever reviewed on The Hard2Watch Podcast as they contemplate why the American president sets Australian werewolf policy, why Donnie continues to be a human bag of sweat, and their life choices for continuing to watch such garbage so-called movies! Happy H…

1
The Howling 3 The Marsupials Review Part 1 1:50:35

8M ago1:50:35

1:50:35

As October's spooky stuff continues Count MaCula and (The Captain) and Sizzforatu (The Monk) bring you part one of an epic review of an epically bad movie: The Howling 3. Get ready to learn what it takes to kill a theatrical run for a vaunted franchise, what happens when a man's super power is just.....sweating......non stop....How to court a woman…

1
Corpse Britches (Or Who Are You Wearing Today?) 50:33

8M ago50:33

50:33

It's Spooky Season at last! Captain LAMOTU (AKA Mizzle, AKA Count Macula) and The Felonius Monk (AKA Sizzle, AKA Sizzforatu), with help from The Museum of Icelandic Sorcery & Witchcraft present for you today a tale straight from the History of one of our favorite countries Iceland! Have you ever found yourself down on your luck, in need of a buck? …

1
The Monk's Scientology Assessment Test (Or How to audit your best buddy) 1:30:09

8M ago1:30:09

1:30:09

The Hard2Watch Podcast celebrates it's ever growing international fanbase and the latest milestone achievement of getting into double digit episodes (more rare for a podcast than you'd think) by taking a break from history and suffering through bad movies and instead getting spiritual as The Monk takes the Oxford Capacity Analysis test to see how t…

1
Steven Seagal Lawman Episode 3 Review 1:28:09

8M ago1:28:09

1:28:09

Captain LAMOTU and The Felonious Monk take to the streets of Jefferson Parrish yet again...or at least watch Steven Seagal take to the streets as a badged lawman in episode 3 of the eponymous show. We're talking dogs in clothes, why ACU camo is dogshit, and how Steve has allegedly been training pups since he was a pup. Plus fat bald cop is back to …

1
Under Siege Review Part 2 1:29:59

9M ago1:29:59

1:29:59

Captain LAMOTU and The Felonious Monk wrap up their review of Under Siege. Miss July stuns, Tommy Lee Jones Hams it up, the sad trombone is back to razz us when we screw up, and there is even A 95G! To quote Stan the Man Lee, It's another thrill packed episode, (Here comes a copywrite safe version of what he would've said:) So face forward nonficti…

1
Under Siege Review Part 1 1:30:02

9M ago1:30:02

1:30:02

Oh boy, The Cap and The Monk really get lost in the weeds with this one, talking about special effects, bad 90's weapon manipulation, volcanic takes on the Fast, John Wick, and Marvel franchises, as well as giving you the low down on two movies that for once you probably should watch in Super Mario Bros. and the first part of our review of Under Si…

1
Count Dante & The Dojo Wars (Or How to fail at strip mall dynamite) 48:15

9M ago48:15

48:15

Today on the Hard2Watch Podcast we take a break from reviewing all the terrible movies and shows and instead talk about another Random Historical Happenstance, this time the tale of The Legend (In his own mind) Count Dante and the Chicago Dojo Wars. It's a story of death matches, dynamite, and police issued nunchuks! The second city is a crazy plac…

1
Steven Seagal Lawman Episode 2 Review Part 2 1:01:51

9M ago1:01:51

1:01:51

Captain LAMOTU and The Monk are back to finish discussing the second episode of Steven Seagal Lawman. Join us as we break down wrist control, slapping your friends in the face, the best thing to get at McDonald's while you are chasing a suspect, how a certain shoe company should sponsor us, and the time that The Monk got sent to The Raft with all o…

1
Steven Seagal Lawman Episode 2 Review Part 1 1:03:49

10M ago1:03:49

1:03:49

Still reeling from Against the Dark the Captain and the Monk soldier on as they review the second episode of Steven Seagal Lawman and learn that even in the midst of the chase, sometimes you've just got to stop and treat yourself to a QPC (McDonalds sponsor us) Plus learn about fun places to visit in England! Read our Tweets and participate in our …

1
Against The Dark Review Part 2 1:21:52

10M ago1:21:52

1:21:52

In the thrilling conclusion to Against The Dark, Cap and The Monk continue to break down how not to make a vampire movie, why you shouldn't randomly fall asleep in a hospital filled with cannibal monsters, schill for sponsors, and finally get some wrist control! Read our Tweets and participate in our listener polls @ItsHard2Watch on X Follow The Ha…

1
Against The Dark Review Part 1 1:30:35

10M ago1:30:35

1:30:35

A "Classic" Seagal Film. This movie is and absolute train wreck and The Cap'n and The Monk review it because they hate themselves more than you should hate yourself. Read our Tweets and participate in our listener polls @ItsHard2Watch on X Follow The Hard2Watch Podcast on Facebook and get all your H2Dub News and Updates straight from the Captain! G…

1
The Latrine Disaster of 1184 (Or How to make the Nobels eat $#1+) 46:51

10M ago46:51

46:51

As a special treat from the The Captain and The Monk: Sizzle and Mizzle Drop in to teach you about the great latrine disaster of 1184. Lions, Popes, and Poops oh my! A special preview of the currently in production Random Historical Happenstance Podcast! Whaaaaaat?! Read our Tweets and participate in our listener polls @ItsHard2Watch on X Follow Th…

1
Steven Seagal Lawman Episode 1 Review 1:12:04

11M ago1:12:04

1:12:04

In This Episode we initially set out to cover a movie but Captain LAMOTU Foolishly thinks that he can talk Lawman episode 1 and not have it take an entire show to itself. So we get the full review of Steven Seagal's first documented adventure as a Jefferson Parrish Deputy. Criminals beware! Read our Tweets and participate in our listener polls @Its…