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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

Pantswise Media Network

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For over FIFTEEN YEARS, Nobody Likes Onions has been making audiences laugh at the absurd, the obvious, and the wrong. Comedian Patrick Melton, along with other entertainers from around the world, gather around microphones three times a week to present their unique observations and opinions about current events, pop culture, and real-world experiences in their personal lives.
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Another BANGER week in the Dabbleverse as it collides in to the Rekietasphere once more! All of our wildest speculations are turning out to be true. It appears that April Imholte, with little money and only her lap wallet to offer, was being kept and turned out by BIG NICK ENERGY himself, Nick Rekieta of Rekieta Law. Minnesota has never been so col…
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Aaron Imholte has found a way to make his show get half of the views it did a year ago – start trashing his wife and ex-partner April Anderson. Watch as the once-discreet radio man proceeds to spill all the dirt he can about his alleged druggie ex-wife and her proclivities for other men’s skin rods in her hair holes. But those are just rumors. Watc…
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BREAKING: Nick Rekieta and April Imholte aka April Anderson have been arrested in Minnesota with narcotics and guns and children! Lives are on the line! It’s an MLC for the ages! Hey Tio! MLC is good again! Kevin Brennan is in a spiral after his handler and tech boy Adam fled from the program a couple months ago. Dipping deeper and deeper into deme…
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The fascinating story of a Minnesota wanna-be radio man who keeps torching his life over and over again marches forward. Watch as a weak man with an even weaker constitution continues to spew details about his crumbling life, from the wife he let become consumed by narcotics and be passed around like a finger trap for the pleasure of a friend. Watc…
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Nick Rekeita is being accused of having some heavy involvement in the breakup and ruining of one April Anderson, formally April Imholte of the Steel Toe Morning Show. A dumb factory worker, abducted by a weak-minded selfish mad and forced to try to do something she had no business doing – radio. Did a steady supply of better bones and nose candy ha…
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Good morning! It’s Monday and that means we’ve got an entire new week of exciting single cope from Aaron Imholte. Watch as he carts in his favorite cripple to regale with stories that are sure to make April Anderson feel less-than, and will surely make his children cringe one day. Patrick has some announcements about Hackamania for those who can’t …
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Aaron Imholte has ruined April Anderson, the simple Minnesota farm girl he plucked from a factory while cheating on his pregnant wife. And now that April’s prime years have been sucked away, and her innocence and self-esteem have been pummeled by the internet and her once-loving husband. Did drugs and copious amounts of dangerous unprotected sex wi…
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It’s Friday and it’s been another banger of a week in the Steel Toe universe. Watching Aaron Imholte slowly come to terms with his life partner rejecting his savior-syndrome insanity. April Imholte is wandering the streets with a resume featuring nothing but some valve-painting experience and a giant gap of employment. Perhaps the rehab completion …
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Aaron Imhote has tossed April Imholte to the wolves, letting her start her life over and reclaim her once-promising future in the stark Minnesota landscape. April Anderson is out looking for work, wondering where the next chapter of her life will take her. But will the habits and hauntings of the past make things difficulte for her to forge ahead? …
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Somewhere in Minnesota, April Imholte is waking up from a bad dream. A bad dream that has lasted nearly four years, and cost her some of the best prime time she has on this earth. Aaron is dancing around celebrating his newfound single status as low-key as he can until the ink is dry on the divorce papers. What’s next for Aaron and April? Patrick h…
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The melting mountain meh-scape of Minnesota insulates Aaron Imholte and his untalented slag wife from facts and information, and it shows on the latest iterations of the Steel Toe Morning Show. Aaron Imholte is throwing daily tantrums and cascades of cope about Patrick and the rest of his detractors now, obsessing over Melton and Hackamania and oth…
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INT. BASEMENT – MORNING. The Steel Toe Morning Show starring Aaron Imholte and his sideshow freaks has been on air for 28 minutes and something goes horribly wrong. Come watch a man with MS crumble to the ground before our very eyes. Someone remind me – does MS stand for MUCH SENSITIVE? Nobody ever thought Johnny had talent, a personality, or even …
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INT. BASEMENT – MORNING. The Steel Toe Morning Show starring Aaron Imholte and his sideshow freaks has been on air for 28 minutes and something goes horribly wrong. Come watch a man with MS crumble to the ground before our very eyes. Someone remind me – does MS stand for MUCH SENSITIVE? Nobody ever thought Johnny had talent, a personality, or even …
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We’d be ignoring our civic duty if we didn’t bring your daily dose of Aaron Imholte coping about his missing wife April Imholte, and losing his mind over his haters and the goal. How long will this guy continue to spaz out at the very people that support him and his insane fantasy to be behind a microphone for a living. Glitter and Lasers heads out…
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Another week and another round of half-hearted attempts at improving a crumbling program. Aaron Imholte is at a loss without his lady and he’s winning so much, and his show is growing so well that he is changing things left and right. Patrick always says nothing is funnier than when a lolcow actually tries to do something, and last nights Members O…
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Patrick is here on a Friday night to continue watching the appearance of Jesse PS from PodAwful as he attempts to navigate the muddy waters of St.Cloud Minnesota. Jesse mostly plays with Aaron, trolling him with confusing narratives about Opie and Anthony and his missing wife. Aside from hammering Aaron with the same truth bombs that the rest of th…
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Join Patrick for a late night catch up show, where Patrick apologizes for his inconsistent schedule due to a lot of the logistical stuff going on with Hackamania. Is Bob Levy on the outs with the Shuli network? Is this just another work to fool Kevin Brennan in to showing his spiteful nature? Is BOB solo now or is he looking for new partners? Kevin…
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Patrick is recovering from a headache that could choke a donkey. That doesn’t mean anything. Don’t overthink it. Let’s check out the latest version of MLC and try to figure out what this show has become. It’s the last day of April and we need to make our nut. There’s four squares left on the wall and daddy needs to hit the goal! Stuttering John and…
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Aaron Imholte can’t stop declaring himself a winner over and over again. After a hard drive crash, a lack of backups, and little-to-no technical knowledge, the Minnesota luddite tries to get a show going with Keanu for almost forty-five minutes. We take a closer look at Aaron and April Imholte and their friendships with other streamers. There’s a n…
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We are really doing it, and this is the truth. I have seen the mystery clouded by a greedy sleuth. We are in the trenches, the wildlings are on the mend. Come with me to NLO town, take my hand, good friend. Aaron Imholte convinces himself he isn’t a bad guy, he might have lost his edge, and so much more nonsense.…
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Five minutes after Patrick did a show with Pat Dixon on Tuesday night, all hell broke loose and Patrick’s network went down again. No one can be blamed for not believing Patrick and his internet troubles. It’s becoming predictable and ridiculous. Thanks the hexadecimal heavens that Steel Toe is also having a rocky time this week, and this time we a…
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It’s been weeks since we’ve checked in on Uncle Kevin Brennan, Neal Brenann’s less successful brother and once-wannabe wacky physical comic. Kevin’s podcast is entering a new phase. The self-production and lack of punctuality were already causing fans to become irritable, but how will the new crop of MLC clueless comics fare in the colosseum that i…
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Patrick is back this morning to go over some of the last bits of information gathered surrounding the Steel Toe Morning Show demise, it’s crumbling, and reflections about what this means for the future of this Minnesota couple. Michael Ray Bower aka Donkeylips has left his house and, while waddling around, informs the public about some recent occur…
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A new theory has emerged in the April Anderson saga as we try to uncover what happend that led to the downfall of the marriage and on-air partnership at Steel Toe Morning Show. Aaron marches on with his show, without a plan or the confidence to admit it’s not going well. If there were a prize for constantly changing your panic to confidence and vic…
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Patrick is fresh off a full day of productivity and chair shopping, and the butts at Hackamania are going to appreciate the dedication to comfort and quality. Some of our discord dorks have uncovered a playlist made by April Imholte Anderson, and four days ago she was updating it with new songs like Someone Like You by Adele. Watch and Moody calls …
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There’s definitely some Aaron Imholte and Steel Toe Morning Show news to cover this morning, but we’ve also got to check in with some of our favorite ladies of the Onionverse and see what they’re “creating.” Summer Sinclair has some new old standup to show off, and you won’t believe her latest karaoke banger. Angie Krum filmed a bunch of podcasts s…
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The dream comes crashing down just as fast as it began. In an unceremonious and barely-watched Members Only stream on Sunday night, Aaron admits that April will not be returning to the Steel Toe Morning Show, and she may be interested in rejoining the job force, if she can keep her alleged meth habit in check long enough to fill out an application …
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It seems like the STEEL TOE MORNING SHOW gravy train of LOLs will not cease! Aaron Imholte kicks off his day with another “two scoops” of cope. It must be getting tough to roll out of bed with bruised ribs and a bruised ego, and let’s not even talk about the sore o-ring. Let’s watch as Mooby already tries to force April Imholte aka April Anderson a…
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It’s Wednesday and Patrick isn’t supposed to be here, but today’s Steel Toe Morning Show is simply too good to ignore. Aaron seems to be coming to terms with something the keen-eyed fans have speculated for awhile – April may never come back to the show. He seems to be laying the groundwork for a big pivot in the show, dreaming about big changes, s…
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Patrick is feeling loose and has some emails he wants to get knocked out of the way on the show. The Brandon Network is back and more confusing thank ever. Patrick reads and email that he cannot make any sense out of, but it seems to be very important to Brandon and his network. Joey C wants to hammer out some Hackamania details and make sure that …
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It’s Monday, and the Dabbleverse at least seems to be calming down over the last weekend. evin is very bugged by Ray’s rejection of his demands and cannot seem to get over being hurt by one of his best baby boys. Steel Toe Morning Show is in a tailspin after what seems like a weekend of separation of Aaron and April Imholte. Will she save what’s le…
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It’s been an odd week, but it’s hard to focus on much more than the goings-on of Steel Toe and the disaster that is April Imholte aka April Anderson coming to the realization that she is trapped in a life that isn’t what it seemed just a few years ago. Rapidly approaching 30, stuck taking care of children that are not hers, performing tasks for a j…
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This week has been an amazing one for the Steel Toe Morning Show. After weeks of speculation about April Imholte aka April Anderson being on some kind of hard drugs that are wreaking havoc on her mind and body, her husband has continued to hide her from the show audience while she cries, or recovers, or copes, or looks for a job, or gets off the sm…
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The Steel Toe delusion show marches forward. This time April has recovered enough to try to host a show on her own again, but we all know Mooby can’t allow his factory-worker wife to run things on her own for too long. Let’s watch the latest cringe sessions from our favorite set of mindless Minnesotan radio hosts. Patrick wants to check in on our f…
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Could this be the turn be have all been waiting for? April Imholte is taking a step back from not doing anything behind the scenes and missing shows left and right. It’s just too much for her. Aaron breaks down the issues surrounding his hiring of April and so much more. He’s determined to make this marriage work by making the business fail. Let’s …
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Just because it’s April Fool’s Day doesn’t mean we will be tricking people left and right over here. That kind of thing is best reserved for shows who need to distract you with works and whistles. We do a serious, fun show over here. Aaron Imholte needs money this month, and he is definitely going keep reminding us about it so that him and his wife…
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We’ve got a lot to comb over in the Steel Toe universe today. Patrick takes a few days to catch up on some of the other happenings, and the cope and excuses have been flowing from the Minnesota trash couple. Wait until you hear the reasoning behind April Imholte’s complete lethargy over the past two months. Poor April doesn’t know where to buy stam…
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Early onset Kevin cannot stop lying to his audience, and more importantly himself, about his relationships with people and his career. Resulting to putting down Dave Attell to make himself feel better about the obvious state of his life. Let’s watch Kevin’s latest show and pick apart what the old man is going through, and what the immediate future …
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As the dust from the Dabbleverse settles and everyone else besides Kevin Brennan realizes that Mike Bochetti’s simple charm has worn thin, Patrick still has some questions. The drama around one Stevie Lew needs to be put to bed. and Patrick has some final thoughts. We watch a recent interaction between Ray Devito, Quadfather and Stevie on a recent …
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Seriously, there isn’t any show. Don’t wait for it. It’s not going to start. Patrick is ill. There is no higher being. We are all floating on a rock through the ether with no purpose or consequences. This is all for nothing. Jkjk but things are off and Patrick is in a funk. Stevie Lew wants to rehash the past and lie again. This guy is addicted to …
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It’s Friday and there’s so many loose ends to wrap up, there’s no telling where this show is going to go. Patrick wanted so much for this show to include the conclusion of Michael Ray Bower and his computer tour. He really wanted to show you what Summer Sinclair is trying to pass off as standup comedy. He had so many dreams of dissecting the Insane…
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We left the Ray Devito and Kevin Brennan stuff alone for a day or two, but the pink hot dog man cannot let it go. He’s like a scorned rich teen girl with no friends who got dumped and now has to pay less popular kids to listen to her complain about the one that got away. Ray Devito keeps letting people convince him of almost anything, causing him t…
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Forget about Kevin Brennan and his wobbly green screen and face-melting bad breath for a day. The Steel Toe Morning Show is becoming a parody of itself – each day beginning with addressing haters, rumors, detractors, and trolls about anything and everything they’ve heard. Of course, Aaron still has to mention Patrick and go on a road-trip of succes…
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Another weekend sails by, and the occupants of the Dabblewhatever are strapped in tight for another tumultuous week turning on each other, faking events, and trying to undermine each other’s enemies. Can you feel it in the air? Kevin Brennan has cast aside everyone in his stable, from Pat Dixon to Ray Devito to Chad Zumock. Some are taking it bette…
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It’s Friday and we haven’t focused on the Fat Community all week. We have to make this right! The tubby amongst us are getting restless! We cover the latest drama from MLC, Kevin Brennan, Pat Dixon and Ray Devito, and the effect and fallout of Kevin’s rage on the upcoming Hackamania event. Kevin Brennan tries to do a morning show and snipe Patrick,…
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It’s Thursday, and the hits just keep on coming for Patrick. He’s been dealing with a lice infestation for the past day, like a worried member of the local PTA. Pat Dixon has lost his YouTube channel, and this will become more and more common as time and intolerance march forward. Kevin Brennan throws his biggest tantrum about paying guests yet, cl…
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My how THE TURN tables! Chad Zumock has seemingly worn out his welcome for the third time as a guest on the MLC podcast with Kevin Brennan. Kevin unloads on Chad in a tirade as nonsensical as it was unexpected, referencing everything from crashing his car to wishing Chrissy Mayr’s baby death. When Kevin is done with you, he’s done. Pat Dixon gets c…
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Happy Monday! Let’s hope for a week of no internet problems, and that we all manage to get through it without developing whatever disease Aaron and April Imholte have been spreading around Minnesota with their hot tub swing sessions. Patrick feels so out of the loop when it comes to all of the rapscallions that this program follows, so today we nee…
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