011: condiments_apidae_disasters Life in the pod appears to have become too bland for subject B: he bemoans the lack of flavour in their rations and so, in an effort to fool his tastebuds, sparks a conversation with his compatriot about condiments. In a further attempt to inject some spice into their existence, subject A suggests they seek stimulat…

010: halitosis_property_melodramas My suspicion of ongoing deception by our specimens was confirmed during today’s meeting: affecting accents and masking personalities are clear signs of espionage, what they stand to gain from spying on us I am yet to uncover. I shan’t expose their secret until I understand more about their individual skillsets. An…

009: paracosms_cranchiidae_booze In a vain attempt at shrouding his lacklustre approach to pod upkeep, subject A has manufactured an autonomous valet. In theory it should alleviate an already congested list of errands for B, but an unforeseen quirk of said servant could dash his hopes before any benefit is felt. As we know, this newly employed mini…

008: vacation_ophidianists_thiriokinesis It was both pleasing and concerning to discover that subject A has created a resort within the pod: pleasing as it will give the inhabitants somewhere to relax and reflect, concerning due to the resources exhausted during its manufacture, resulting in a negative impact on the craft’s stability. B appeared to…

007: sanitation_execution_epitaphs Today’s meeting was a mostly morbid affair, despite a positive start that saw B boasting about the numerous chores he had completed. The act of spring cleaning can be seen as an expression of the desire to improve or change one’s surroundings, could they finally be settling in for the long haul? Conversely, A seem…

Hadith #15 from the book, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words, explained by Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi. Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi explains the text, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words'. Recorded at Green Lane Masjid & Community Centre.By Green Lane Masjid

Hadith #14 from the book, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words, explained by Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi. Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi explains the text, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words'. Recorded at Green Lane Masjid & Community Centre.By Green Lane Masjid

006: proctology_invertebrates_sensorium Both were verging on hysteria for the duration of this session: subject A believes his co-habitants erratic behaviour is a reaction to a homemade narcotic, I suspect it is due to the oxygen rationing we have had no choice but to enforce. Their entertainment value rises dramatically when starved of the life-gi…

005: anthropomorphism_ effervescence_danceThe tangible regret shown by subject A, following an evening of excess, invoked little sympathy from B for his self-inflicted ailment. They generally lack any real concern for the others well-being, seemingly oblivious to the impact being entirely alone would have on their psyche.Details of the previous nig…

004: meteorology_obsequies_pioneers The usual combative nature of previous sessions was absent today, our subjects were instead unified in annoyance by a common foe: it transpires that the unwelcome guest we initially viewed as a threat and sought to exterminate, has proven itself to be an impactful uncontrolled variable. I suggest we allow this re…

Hadith #13 from the book, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words, explained by Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi. Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi explains the text, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words'. Recorded at Green Lane Masjid & Community Centre.By Green Lane Masjid

Hadith #10, #11 & #12 from the book, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words, explained by Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi. Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi explains the text, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words'. Recorded at Green Lane Masjid & Community Centre.By Green Lane Masjid

Hadith #9 from the book, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words, explained by Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi. Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi explains the text, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words'. Recorded at Green Lane Masjid & Community Centre.By Green Lane Masjid

003: aristocracy_opiates_cosplay The third session commenced in open conflict, with B accusing A of larceny. The heated exchange substantiates my hypothesis that our ability to subtly manipulate time and space, and the objects within it, intensifies the volatility of their domicile. Historically, chaotic atmospheres yield rich seams to mine for emo…

Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi explains the text, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words'. Recorded at Green Lane Masjid & Community Centre.By Green Lane Masjid

Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi explains the text, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words'. Recorded at Green Lane Masjid & Community Centre.By Green Lane Masjid

Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi explains the text, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words'. Recorded at Green Lane Masjid & Community Centre.By Green Lane Masjid

002: ablutions_transit_neophytes The second meeting between our subjects was held slightly later than scheduled due to circumstances beyond the Custodian’s control, he has assured me that future sessions will not be as intermittent. An undercurrent of uncleanliness flowed stubbornly beneath the conversation, alike a waste pipe constricted by human …

Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi explains the text, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words'. Recorded at Green Lane Masjid & Community Centre.By Green Lane Masjid

Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi explains the text, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words'. Recorded at Green Lane Masjid & Community Centre.By Green Lane Masjid

001: rodents_ emulsion _cetaceans Their first mandatory meeting was fraught with taboo topics, both parties were restless and disorientated: subject A delicately deliberated the legalities of animal ownership, while B fixated on faecal matter. Attempting to placate a visibly hyperactive B, A engaged in a spontaneous game of Charades. An insightful …

Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi explains the text, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words'.. Recorded at Green Lane Masjid & Community Centre.By Green Lane Masjid

Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi explains the text, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words'.. Recorded at Green Lane Masjid & Community Centre.By Green Lane Masjid

Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi explains the text, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words'.. Recorded at Green Lane Masjid & Community Centre.By Green Lane Masjid

Shaykh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi explains the text, 40 Hadith of 'Two Words'.. Recorded at Green Lane Masjid & Community Centre.By Green Lane Masjid

After a year of running, I'm back at it again. This time with renewed vigor and motivation to talk about my experiences in Japan. Wish me luck.

By Twin Wood Sounds

By Twin Wood Sounds

By Twin Wood Sounds

By Twin Wood Sounds

By Twin Wood Sounds

Fingers on buzzers for the second section of this panicked prayer, as our boisterous bogeymen reside recumbently in the radiant torridity of Big Momma’s bosom while playing four ghoulishly gruelling retro games: Casper on the SNES, Porky Pig’s Haunted Holiday also on the SNES, Haunting on the Sega Mega Drive and Ghost House on the Sega Master Syste…

Boo! The closing slice of this year’s spectre spattered special features a fittingly frightening Inside Ross’ Mind, consisting of two abnormally nauseating queasy questions: what are the strangest phobias you know of and what would you forever banish to Room 101? While deciphering the Deadcrab’s feedback we discuss Greta Thunberg, Hershey’s chocola…

It’s Trick and/or treat time, darling Deadcrabs, as our fourth Hallowe’en special is broadcast directly from beyond the spectral plane; the tormented terrors continue their quest for eternal rest, hopeful their unfinished business shall be accomplished once this supernatural soiree concludes. Supplied with a variety of sweet treats to keep their sp…

As retrospective as the most vivid déjà vu, the volatile voyagers are back from the present to once again recognise two almost meaningless milestones: our 4th birthday, and 100th publication of our periodical podcast; what better way to recognise such a chronologically concentrated occasion, than basing the entire show on the theory of time travel?…

Dare you join our decrepit teleporters as time stands still for the 101st part of this perpetual parade, and behold as we blabber almost exclusively about how time travel concepts are conveyed in TV shows, movies and video games; preceding that plentiful topic we step Inside Ross’ Mind to ask our Headcrabs where and when they would visit should the…

Join us lounging by our Xen Healing Pool and surrender to the temptation of a refreshing soak, dip your toes and trust the restorative waters to wash away those suspiciously sweaty summer exploits; then towel off alongside Tim, a first-timer on the show, who has agreed to feature in this month’s episode exclusively to prove his existence. Our hecti…

The possibilities are endless in the second part of this foreigner focussed foray, as Tim confronts the infamous interrogation faced by all past inmates of the Lair; the erudite detainee endures an oppressive onslaught of questioning unperturbed, deflecting verbal attacks with aplomb as the incompetent inquisitors insist on interpretations of their…

In the second part of this inconsequential sequence, our lint lickers lumber to Lair 2.0 to play three arcade games for this month’s Gonarch’s Player: Trojan, Rod-Land, and Street Fighter: The Movie. While gaming we strive to stifle familiar frustrations by talking about Glastonbury, the Lambton Worm, WD40, The Addams Family, Dutch furniture moving…

Dry your eyes darling Headcrabs, for our venerable vagrants have returned from their summer recess to take up residence in the all-new Lair 4.0; by delivering a dose of revitalised vigor, they aspire to redeem this atrophying podcast. We kick off an essentially themeless episode with a belated and brief E3 chat, covering their handpicked highlights…

Fellow facehuggers, you are formally invited to hound our hostile hosts through this 40th anniversary appreciation of the birth of the most iconic sci-fi horror franchise of all time; the first act features the quarter pumpers paying a passing visit to Lair 2.0 to play three games set in the Alien universe: Alien vs. Predator arcade, Alien 3 on the…

In the 45th and a half part of the podcast that comes mostly once a month, mostly, our sufferers of space madness set out on an elongated lark through the multimedia associated with Aliens not aliens; the extraterrestrial extroverts expatiate extensively by examining all of the games associated with the Alien franchise, the cartoons and toy lines, …

The year has sprung spring, and witnessing a refreshing return to the season of rebirth has galvanised our enigmatic entertainers, who have endeavoured to qualify this questionable concoction as an Easter special for each and every elegant Eggcrab. We implore you to impetuously immerse yourselves in the inane incantation of three rabid rogues, for …

The second part of this riotous rite is fundamentally flooded by a roughly relevant Gonarch’s Player, which features Ross and Thom playing three retro games: Chuckie egg, Rabbit Punch, and Super 3D Noah’s Ark. The troubling troika creatively cram the remaining recording with discussions about Headspace, Clint Mansell, Sexy Parodius, Tommy Walsh, su…

Welcome mummy’s boys and girls, to the joint mother's day and climate change special! The polluted pair were persuaded to pay tribute to all of those Gonarchs out there, whilst simultaneously highlighting the unseasonably warm weather we have experienced recently; the byproduct of their comeuppance is this, our most tenuously themed show to date. D…

In the second part of this laborious limp, Ross and Thom play three topical games on the Sega Mega Drive: Captain Planet and the Planeteers, Mick and Mack: Global Gladiators, and Decap Attack, while talking about Netflix’s War of the Worlds, stealth fries, Yogi Bear, Virgin Interactive Entertainment, Tarot Cards, Junior, Yellowstone National Park, …

Sexually suggestive salutations to you, our horny little Headcrabs, as you join our shriveled seducers in their most offensive episode to date: the highly anticipated sex games special. The first salacious slice of this gratuitous grind features our deviants devouring some candidly crass communications from our most provocative fans, before discuss…

Grab the tissues and lotion in preparation for the second part of this impotent installment as, in tribute to the month of love-making, the damsels in distress reconvene in Lair 2.0 to play three topical games in a lust laden Gonarch’s Player: Sex Vixens From Space, Sex Olympics, and Sextimates. Following that floundering foreplay, our moist mates …

Our naughty boys bring this cathartic cruise to a close in the third and final part, by methodically meandering through a list of their favoured visual entertainment experiences of 2018, randomly ranked in a tranquil top ten before being shared with the listener in a generally gleeful groove; we reveal our patented method for dynamic media adsorpti…

Accompany our ardent anchors as they inaugurate the fourth annual Yuletide interlude before finding themselves confined in the discomfort of Lair 3.0, encumbered by the plastic carcasses of ancient console conflict, and constrained by a convivial keeper who coerces our comrades to contend with a trio of topical computer games. In part one of this b…