Raising kids can be a bumpy, stressful, and uncertain process – which is why Dr. Lisa Damour is here to help. The author of bestsellers Untangled, Under Pressure, and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers brings her sane, informed, and practical perspective to your timely and timeless parenting questions. Co-host and journalist Reena Ninan, a former White House and foreign correspondent, gets the answers parents need. In each episode, Dr. Lisa and Reena blend expert knowledge with their experienc ...
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172: Encore: Should I Kick My Kid Off TikTok?
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When should you consider limiting your child's use of TikTok? A parent seeks advice on managing a tween’s use of the popular social media platform. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the appeal of TikTok and address the concerns that many parents have. Reena asks several key questions including: What are the downsides of consuming short-form video content,…
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How do parents balance their wish to know about their kids’ lives with their teens’ right to privacy? Dr. Lisa and Reena talk through the tension of respecting teens’ autonomy while staying informed as parents, particularly in the context of teenagers keeping personal journals. A letter from a thoughtful mother of four teenagers raises important qu…
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170: How Should I Deal with My Angry, Disrespectful Son?
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Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack the complexities of dealing with an angry and disrespectful son. In response to a letter from a concerned parent, they address how to navigate power struggles and they detail effective strategies for managing disruptive behavior. Dr. Lisa explores the underlying dynamics at play and offers insights as to why the son may be…
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169: How Do We Move Our Family Without Damaging Our Kids?
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Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle the challenge of making a big move with kids. A parent writes in with concerns about her kids' reactions to the news of the move and asks how to best support them through the transition. Dr. Lisa provides insights on how parents can prepare kids for moving and offers age-specific strategies for helping children cope. Dr. L…
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168: Teens and Sleep, with Journalist & Author Lisa L. Lewis
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Sleep is essential for mental and physical health, but most teens don’t get nearly enough of it. Special Guest Lisa L. Lewis, journalist and author of "The Sleep-Deprived Teen: Why Our Teenagers Are So Tired, and How Parents and Schools Can Help Them Thrive," joins Dr. Lisa and Reena to answer listener questions about teens and sleep, tech use, sum…
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167: Weed's Legal. How Do I Talk With My Teen About It?
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How can adults steer teens away from marijuana in states where the drug is now legal? A parent writes in asking for guidance on raising teens in a community where pot use is wide-spread and normalized. To complicate matters, the parent uses recreational cannabis at home but worries, appropriately, about how early experimentation with the drug could…
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166: My Kid Is Being Bullied. What Should I Do?
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How do you respond when your child is being bullied? A concerned parent writes in about her 12-year-old daughter who is being taunted by three older boys on the school bus. Dr. Lisa unpacks the dynamics of bullying and answers several key questions: What’s the difference between conflict and bullying? Why do kids bully? What is the impact of being …
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165: How Do I Support my Heartbroken Son?
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A parent writes in about her 17-year-old son who is reeling from a tough breakup with his long-time girlfriend. As the teen faces the transition to college and grapples with intense sadness his parents have several questions: Should they be concerned about his reaction? How can they support him, especially when he shuts them out? And must high scho…
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164: Why Is My Kid Hooked on Luxury Skin Care?
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Dr. Lisa and Reena respond to a letter from a parent who feels uneasy about her ten-year-old’s sudden interest in expensive skin care products. The parent finds herself stuck between two bad options: buying her daughter products that are costly and unnecessary, or being at odds with her daughter because she refuses to do so. Dr. Lisa and Reena unpa…
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163: Encore: My Kid Looked at Porn. What Should I Do?
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It’s not always comfortable to talk with our kids about pornography - but it’s something all parents need to do. Indeed, research shows that 12 is the average age at which kids first encounter pornography, and that by age 18, 79% of teens have been exposed to violent porn. Dr. Lisa and Reena address how it is that so many kids end up seeing pornogr…
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162: How Do I Talk with My Teen about Fentanyl?
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Illicit fentanyl has contaminated the drug landscape and is causing record deaths among young people. How should parents talk with their teens about this fast-moving crisis? What can we say to help keep our kids safe? In this critically important episode, Dr. Lisa and Reena are joined by Ed Ternan and Marcia Lee Taylor of Song for Charlie, a nation…
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161: How Do I Get my Teens to Want to Spend Time with Me?
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A concerned parent seeks Dr. Lisa's guidance on building and maintaining a connection with her teenage son. Despite efforts to spend quality time together, most family activities are met with resistance. The parent wonders if it’s normal for her 15-year-old son and, more recently, her 11-year-old daughter, to hold their parents at a distance. Dr. L…
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160: Can I Require my Teen to Be on Birth Control?
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A devoted parent seeks advice on whether her 15-year-old daughter should be on birth control. Despite having open discussions about many topics, the daughter - who is in a long-term and intense heterosexual relationship - refuses to discuss contraception. Dr. Lisa weighs in on how to talk with teens about readiness for physical intimacy, and how to…
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159: Should I Worry That My Teen Is So Introverted?
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When should parents be concerned about a teen who resists making social plans and chooses to hang out at home instead? A parent writes asking if she should be worried about her introverted son. He excels academically, has a job, and exercises regularly, But he chooses to spend weekends at home playing on his phone or working on his computer. While …
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158: Practical Optimism with Dr. Sue Varma
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Can we boost our sense of happiness and overall well-being? Why do some individuals not only survive - but thrive - in the face of life's challenges? Dr. Sue Varma, a psychiatrist and cognitive behavioral therapist joins us on the publication day of her new book, Practical Optimism: The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being to answer…
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157: My Kid Has Diagnosed Herself on TikTok. What Should I Do?
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There’s a growing concern shared by many adults: How do we help teenagers make sense of mental health misinformation on social media? Dr. Lisa and Reena respond to a letter from a parent worried that content on TikTok has led her teenage daughter to diagnose herself with OCD and ADHD. This episode explores the potential benefits and risks of learni…
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156: Is There a Gentle Way to Drop a Friend?
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An incredibly thoughtful question from a 14-year-old in the United Kingdom helps us look at the complexities of teen friendships. The letter writer asks about the challenge of wanting to distance from a friend without being unkind. Should teenagers be encouraged to have candid conversations with friends about their feelings, or is there a more nuan…
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155: Should I Be Worried that My Son Is Obsessed with Weightlifting?
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A mom writes in concerned about the fact that her 13-year-old son has developed an interest in bulking up. Though he's an active kid, he sees himself as "scrawny" and has decided to hit the weight room hard. When does a healthy interest in getting fit and building strength verge into unhealthy territory? Dr. Lisa and Reena answer this question and …
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154: The 5 Principles of Parenting: with Dr. Aliza Pressman
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Special guest Dr. Aliza Pressman, developmental psychologist and podcast host, discusses her new book, "The Five Principles of Parenting," with Dr. Lisa and Reena. Dr. Pressman introduces five key components of helping children thrive: Relationship, Reflection, Regulation, Rules, and Repair. While there is no such thing as a perfect approach to par…
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153: Encore: How Do We Help Kids Through Divorce?
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It’s never easy to decide to end a marriage. Parents want to protect their kids as the divorce process unfolds and want to help them navigate changing family dynamics. Dr. Lisa discusses how kids process divorce at different ages and the importance of helping your children feel secure and loved while shielding them from conflict. Dr. Lisa and Reena…
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Parents often find themselves caught between frightening headlines about the dangers of social media and kids who want access to it. Dr. Lisa and Reena address a letter from a parent of three - ages 9, 12, and 14 - asking for guidance. Drawing on research findings and clinical experience, this episode covers when to consider allowing social media, …
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Happy New Year! As we turn to making New Year’s resolutions, Dr. Lisa would like us to approach 2024 in a fresh way: instead of trying to “optimize” ourselves by making the most of every minute, she suggests that we focus on restoration. Why? Because the inevitable stress of daily life can actually help us grow if we get serious about how we recove…
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150: Encore: How Do I Get My Son to Stop Picking On His Little Sister?
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Why are tweens and teens sometimes so cruel to their younger siblings? This is a common dynamic in family life, and one that can get worse over the holidays when siblings spend a lot of time together. Dr. Lisa takes us inside the adolescent brain and explains how the onset of puberty can make it hard for kids to control their emotions. She and Reen…
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What can parents try when we can’t get our kids to do what we ask? Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack how to motivate kids without nagging or yelling and discuss when bribery might be an effective strategy to consider. Their conversation also answers several key questions: How do you respond to a kid who reflexively says “no” to everything you suggest? Is i…
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148: What Should I Do With Dicey Information About Other People’s Kids?
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When a teen tells us about a peer’s risky behavior, what’s the right thing to do? Should we keep our teen’s confidence, or should we alert the parents of the kid we are worried about? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle a letter from a parent who has built a strong sense of trust with her teens and often hears about dangerous behavior - including substance u…
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147: Girls Are Harassing My Son. What Should I Do?
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Getting a lot of attention from girls might not seem like a problem. But a mother writes in asking Dr. Lisa for advice on how to deal with the fact that girls are fawning over her son who wants no part of it. He feels embarrassed by the attention and finds that ignoring it only seems to be making the situation worse. The boy’s father worries that h…
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146: What's the Best Way to Help a Kid with ADHD?
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Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle the nuances of ADHD: what to look for, when to be concerned, and the overlap between ADHD and executive functioning challenges. Dr. Lisa unpacks how, ideally, an ADHD diagnosis is made and the treatment options for kids and teenagers who receive the diagnosis. The conversation also answers some key questions about when med…
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145: Encore: My Kids Lose it When They Make Sports Mistakes. How Can I Help?
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Sports is not just about the final score. It’s an opportunity for kids to grow, to learn how to improve their skills, and to be a good teammate. But athletics today can be incredibly competitive, aggressive, and emotionally intense. Dr. Lisa offers strategies for when kids lose their cool when things don’t go their way and explains how to help kids…
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144: How Much Should I Share About My Kids?
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Parents can feel worried when their teen first starts driving or riding around in friends’ cars. What can parents do to help teens stay safe behind the wheel? What rules should be put in place and how well do those rules work? Dr. Lisa and Reena answer these questions and more while also addressing graduated drivers’ license laws and the part they …
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143: How Do I Raise A Compassionate Child? With Dr. Traci Baxley
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Special guest professor Dr. Traci Baxley joins the Ask Lisa podcast. She is the author of Social Justice Parenting: How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-racist, Justice-minded Kids in an Unjust World. Dr. Baxley talks with Dr. Lisa and Reena about why it matters to raise caring, socially conscious kids - and how to do so. This episode unpacks the diffe…
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142: Should My Teen Be In Cars with New Drivers?
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Parents can feel worried when their teen first starts driving or riding around in friends’ cars. What can parents do to help teens stay safe behind the wheel? What rules should be put in place and how well do those rules work? Dr. Lisa and Reena answer these questions and more while also addressing graduated drivers’ license laws and the part they …
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141: How Do Stop Riding My Kid's Emotional Roller Coaster?
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A parent writes in about a middle schooler's intense emotional swings which leave the parent feeling uncertain about how to respond. Dr. Lisa and Reena dive into the psychology of these rollercoaster emotions, discuss whether this behavior is typical at this age, and address how parents can strike the delicate balance of offering support without am…
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140: Can I Talk My Teen Out of a Toxic Romance?
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A mother writes in asking how to protect her teen from a controlling and degrading relationship. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the nature of unhealthy relationships and how and when adults should intervene. Reena asks how parents can recognize the early signs of a harmful connection. Lisa explains how thoughtful people can find themselves in bad relat…
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139: This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained with Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Bennett
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So what’s really happening when kids go through puberty? Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Bennett join the Ask Lisa podcast to talk about their new book This is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained. The conversation takes a deep dive into the research on puberty and tackles key questions: When does puberty start and end? Why do kids suddenly smell ba…
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138: Should Our Teen Stay Home Alone When We Leave Town?
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Parents who need to be out of town for the weekend worry their 16-year-old son will throw a party while they’re away. They want to trust him but can’t shake the feeling that something is brewing. What should parents know about leaving teens home alone? And when should they worry? Dr. Lisa explains the potential consequences of allowing teens to hos…
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137: How Do I Parent a Teen with a Chronic Health Condition?
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Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle two letters about the challenges of parenting teens with chronic health conditions. The first letter centers on addressing a teen’s sense of feeling “different” and asks what parents can do to prevent social isolation. The second letter asks how parents and caregivers can stay out of a power struggle with a teen who may no…
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136: Should I Allow My Tween To Wear Crop Tops?
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A parent feels uncomfortable when her preteen daughter wears crop tops. She worries about the attention her daughter might receive, but also wonders if she's the one who's out of touch. Dr. Lisa and Reena address the complexities of setting boundaries around what kids wear and how to balance policing attire with allowing kids to express their own s…
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135: How Do I Combat My Kid's Perfectionism?
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What causes kids to struggle with perfectionism? Dr. Lisa explains why young people sometimes hold themselves to unsustainable standards and how adults can help them to set realistic goals. Reena asks how parents can counter the harmful self-talk that often accompanies perfectionism and when parents should worry that perfectionism could lead to dep…
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134: My Son and His Friends Use Slurs. Can I Stop This?
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A mother writes in about the fact that her teen son and his friends - who come from a mix of racial, religious, and socio-economic backgrounds - "jokingly" use slurs. Does she have the power to stop this? Dr. Lisa and Reena explore what's driving the rise in hateful language and what adults can do to address this hurtful behavior. Reena asks whethe…
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133: A Conversation with U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy
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U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy visits the Ask Lisa Podcast to talk about the public health crisis you might not know about: loneliness. He joins co-hosts Dr. Lisa and Reena for a wide-ranging conversation on parenting, being a Dad, access to mental health services, the harms of social media, and what big tech companies can do to help protect…
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132: Never Enough: Confronting Toxic Achievement Culture (with author Jennifer Wallace)
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Season four of the Ask Lisa podcast kicks off with a special guest, author and journalist Jennifer Breheny Wallace, who discusses her brand new book: “Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic - And What We Can Do About It.” Dr. Lisa, Reena, and Jennie address how achievement pressure harms kids and what parents can do to combat grind cu…
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131: Encore: How Do I Help My Disorganized High School Kid?
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Getting kids ready for the new school year can be a hard transition from summer. In this encore episode we look at helping teens manage their responsibilities during and after high school. Staying organized isn’t just about getting into college - it’s also about having the ability to operate independently. A parent writes in worried about a charmin…
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130: Encore: Should I Kick my Kid Off TikTok?
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When should parents limit - or even forbid - the use of TikTok? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a deep dive into the upsides and downsides of social media and how the norms kids encounter in online environments can influence real-world behavior. The conversation sheds light on the algorithms that drive social media, what parents need to be on the lookout f…
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129: Encore: My Kid Was Dumped by Her Friends. How Can I Help?
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Why do kids suddenly turn on friends and ice them out of a group? It’s something Dr. Lisa says she's been hearing about more often in recent months as kids need shared interests to hold their groups together, and that "social glue" was depleted by the pandemic. We take a look at how this negative behavior can emerge in friend groups and quickly bec…
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128: Encore: Should I Track my Teen's Location?
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It’s easy to track kids using cell phone technology. But is it a good idea to do so? Today's technology allows us to know a lot more about our kids than our parents ever knew about us. While parents might track their teens for supervision and safety reasons, teens often long for more independence and privacy than tracking allows. Dr. Lisa explains …
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127: Encore: How Much Gaming is Too Much?
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What are the signs of a gaming addiction? It’s easy in the summer to have lax rules and allow more gaming and screen time. But when does gaming cross the line into being too much? A mom writes in worried about her son who used gaming to connect with friends during the pandemic but now games alone while his friends spend time together in person. Dr.…
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126: Encore: Raising an Athlete? Advice from an Olympic Mom
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Three time Olympian and Mom of three, Lauren Regula explains how we can all better manage the stresses of school sports. What do you really need to know when raising an athlete. I was surprised by the one question she asks her kids every night at the dinner table. We’ve started asking the same question in our home. We hope you’ll enjoy this encore …
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125: Encore: How Do We Talk to Kids About Justice? Special Guest Preet Bharara
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How can we help our kids understand justice and fairness? Special Guest Preet Bharara, a former U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, joins the Ask Lisa Podcast to discuss his children’s book, Justice Is… A Guide for Young Truth Seekers. Who are the history makers our children should know about? Dr. Lisa and Reena feel that there’s n…
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124: Encore: How and When Do I Give My Kid a Phone?
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What’s the right age to give a kid a smartphone? There’s no simple answer to this question, but guidelines we can bear in mind when kids - at increasingly young ages - ask for one. In this encore episode Dr. Lisa explains what to consider, and the conversations to have before and after you give your child a phone. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives…
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Schools out! Now what? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a look back at the highlights of Season Three - from key topics to informative guests to the launch of Lisa’s new book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. Their conversation covers what Lisa hopes parents will focus on now, the launch date for Season Four, and the upcoming episodes for the summer. AVAIL…
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