Drop your standards! Let go of your perfectionistic tendencies! If I were paid a dollar every time I heard this message, I would have a large bank account by now. When you’re pursuing a top performance – from athletic to intellectual to artistic ones – it’s fundamental that you distinguish those common principles that improve your performance and y…

Perfectionism isn’t a personality quirk. It’s a pattern of reinforced behaviors that can seep into every aspect of your life. You may set certain standards for yourself, certain rules about how things are supposed to be or how you are supposed to behave; while you may meet those standards for a while, they eventually - and inevitably - fall short. …

Today’s episode takes off with discussing fears of driving. This is the starting point to discuss a key process within acceptance commitment therapy: values-based exposures. In this episode, you will learn the principles to approach your fears, worries, and anxieties in a flexible way and in the service of your values. Brian Thompson, Ph.D. and I c…

Ever catch yourself engaging in incessant mind chatter in a high-stakes situation? The kind that fills your head with self-doubt, comparisons, and anticipations of failure? You're not alone. We all do it. But what if there was a way to overcome these self-limiting beliefs and embrace life's challenges with confidence? I had a chance to talk to Dr. …

Picture this scenario: you encounter an ambiguous and uncertain situation, and then, of course, you quickly try to solve it. You anticipate all types of scenarios and try to prepare for each one of them, without realizing you are worrying and consumed with anxiety. Worry is primarily a thought-based process, and that’s what makes it tricky. Unpacki…

We all experience anxiety in some form, in some way, and in some shape. Because anxiety, fears, and worries can be so uncomfortable, we quickly play-it-safe. And when you’re prone to deeply caring for what you do - as high-achievers, strivers, and perfectionists - then the fears of being a failure or not being good enough are amplified. In this con…

Do you find yourself anxiously anticipating rejection in everyday situations? The fear of being rejected or judged leads to a hyper-awareness of others' facial expressions, opinions, or anticipation of rejection. It’s like you’re expecting others will reject you and interpret a situation using those lenses. This interplay between rejection sensitiv…

Self-compassion is the willingness to respond to your pain and suffering in the same way a good friend of yours might–with warmth, patience, and understanding. That sounds easy, right? But you know it isn’t. For many, self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move. It’s like your mind is a champion at criticizing you in response to those moments …

It was a true pleasure to discover the work and passion of Sonya Looney; her enthusiasm, laughs, and insights are contagious! There are many golden nuggets in this conversation about skillfully managing comparison thoughts, rumination, self-doubt, shame, values-based strategies, and much more. Key Takeaways The mindset of an athlete The upsides and…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: Subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ This is part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Matthew McKay, Ph.D. In part 1, we discussed the foundations of how Dr. McKay thinks of process-…

If anxiety is a part of our day to day life, if we hold on to the framework that to be human is to be anxious, how did anxiety ever become a problem? How do you go from worrying about not being good enough to chronic states of worry? How do you go from feeling uncomfortable taking the elevator to developing an elevator phobia? What maintains a psyc…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Do you remember last week when your mind was criticizing you and asking you to play-it-safe? Using Acceptance and Commitment Skills, you ar…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ When was the last time you had a social mishap in a conversation? Do you remember how it feels to say the wrong thing at the wrong time? If…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Our minds are amazing at many, many things. Our minds are capable of remembering the birthday of the ones we love, calculating a budget for…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ When was the last time you had an aha moment in which your next steps were clear? Do you remember how it is to be in the midst of a difficu…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ In this second part of my conversation with Andrew Nalband, we discussed in detail how he manages all the noise that shows up in his head, …

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ There is nothing wrong with striving to do things right and perfectly. It depends on how often you do it, when you do it, and how it works …

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Stress is nearly unavoidable in our daily lives. Unexpected things can happen to all of us, and often, we may choose to play-it-safe by wor…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Have you ever been struggling emotionally and a partner, colleague or caregiver overlooked you or made you feel worse? “I would have never …

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Have you ever gone to the emergency room? Have you ever thought of how emergency doctors face stress? Have you ever considered how an emerg…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Can’t make up your mind about marrying your girlfriend or not? Can’t make up your mind about the TV you need to buy? Can’t make up your min…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ How often do you assume the worst-case-scenario when facing a difficult situation? When was the last time someone invited you to a party, a…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ This is part 2 of my interview with Todd Kashdan, Ph.D. Key Takeaways How to persuade others skillfully How intolerance and speed of uncert…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Have you ever played-it-safe by keeping your opinions to yourself? When was the last time you felt afraid of social rejection that you did …

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Have you ever been caught in a spiral of self-criticism? When was the last time your inner critic took over your day? We all have stories w…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Resilience is usually understood as the process and the outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences (Amer…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ 60% of people dealing with depression are likely to be dealing with anxiety. If you're anxious, you are also likely to be depressed. In the…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move. We criticize ourselves as a way to think that we're going to be able to control the situa…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Are you an overachiever? Some perfectionistic traits - e.g., being hardworking or paying attention to details - can be extremely handy. But …

To be human is to experience worry, fear, anxiety, and stress. To be human is to play-it-safe. But how do you handle those internal reactions when encountering life-threatening situations? What if being exposed to those unusual situations is part of your day-to-day life? Today, I share a special interview with Lance Morrison, former Captain Police …

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ This is a super special interview with one of my favorite colleagues and author, Jonathan Kaplan, author of “Urban Mindfulness.” In this con…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Have you ever felt anxious when driv…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ In today’s episode of the Playing-It-Safe podcast, Dr. Z. and Lou Lasprugrato, MFT, discuss the various Acceptance and Commitment Skills (A…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Michael P. Twohig, Ph.D. is the co-director of the ACT Research Group, a licensed psychologist in the state of Utah, and a Professor of Psy…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move. What are the harsh criticisms that your mind come up with? How do you handle them? Do you…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Dealing effectively with anxiety and the discomfort that comes with it is a fundamental skill. It allows you to do what you care about and …

Do you deeply care about what you do that you don't measure what it takes you to accomplish a goal? Are you a very conscientious person that struggles to do things that are not-good-enough? Are you super-committed to the projects you participate in that you forget to eat, sleep, or hang out with your friends at times? Are you often preoccupied with…

When you transition from highschool to college – as it’s called in the United States – or to a University – as it’s called in other parts of the world, such as South America or Europe – you go through a significant life adjustment. As exciting as it is, there are also a lot of changes happening at once: you need to introduce yourself to new people,…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Today I have the pleasure to share an interview with Natasha Daniels, MFT, a mental health clinician, author, podcaster and founder of the …

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ One way in which we play-it-safe is by delaying projects, tasks, and shooting for perfection. In this conversation, visual illustrator, Jan…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Repetitive negative thinking (RNT) is a core feature of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and depression. Recently, some studies have show…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). Cognitive Behavior Therapy traditionally has been fo…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). Cognitive Behavior Therapy traditionally has been fo…

How to cultivate loneliness & why it is important to do so: Most people are uncomfortable with loneliness because it means facing yourself without distractions. But, as much as you don’t like it, you can learn from it and perhaps even cultivate it. Sometimes, without realizing and other times, intentionally. We do all types of things to avoid feeli…

“The average human lifespan is absurd, terrifying, insultingly short. But that isn’t a reason for unremitting despair or for living in an anxiety-fueled panic about making the most of your limited time. It’s a cause for relief. You get to give up on something that was always impossible - the quest to become the optimized, infinitely capable, emotio…

It was an honor to chat with Oliver Burkeman, columnist for the Guardian, journalist by training, and author of the books: “4000 weeks: time management for mortals and happiness: the antidote for people who can’t stand positive thinking.” I have been following Oliver’s work for years and had so many questions to ask him, but of course, there were t…

Are you getting in the way of your own best life? one of the ways in which many of us get in the way of our best life is by playing it safe You might be playing it safe if you ... - Get stuck thinking doom and gloom scenarios - Ask others what to do so you don’t make a mistake - Feel like an imposter despite all your accomplishments - Doubt your co…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Are you worried about making poor financial decisions? Have you ever felt ashamed of your finances? How do you relate to money? Financial a…

We often have mechanistic views about ourselves “I’m bad, ugly, stupid, etc” and believe that when having any negative thoughts, painful memories feeling or they need to be fixed, repaired, or replaced. At times we believe that we lack “confidence” or “self-esteem”. But what if our internal experiences are just that, internal experiences. What if w…

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ How do top athletes think about their physical struggles - pain, exhaustion, thirst - when competing? How do the top athletes push their bo…