I recently told the ladies over on The XY Code that Men Don’t “Get” Women’s Sexual Dynamics. How could we? We don’t have female sex organs, we don’t have a female brain, and we didn’t grow up being told how women are “supposed” to act and feel about sex. In days gone by, everyone understood that men and women were different. So while men didn’t get…

This lie is a whopper! We want to think our marriage is just about us, and it’s no one else’s business. This gives us the “right” to tell others to butt out when they try to talk to us about our marriages. However, this is a lie. Marriage is a commitment made before God and man, so how your marriage is doing is the business of both God and man. Bey…

Flo Health, the makers of an app that tracks a woman’s cycle, asked its 65 million monthly users about their sex lives. They say that 58% of the women in the United States aren’t fully satisfied with the quality of their orgasms, and 62% are unhappy with how often they orgasm. So it’s not just you. There are a lot of reasons for this, and I discuss…

On Tuesday, I talked about emotional self-regulation, and choosing to not self-regulate in order to manipulate your spouse. And I suspect some of you thought your wife does this when she cries. I know some women use tears to get their way, or to punish their guy. But it’s not as common as some men think, and it’s hardly the only reason a woman crie…

Some men go to great lengths to avoid conflict at home. Yet many of these same men are all about challenging things at work or with their friends. Another version of this is the man who is passive-aggressive at home, but not in other settings. What’s going on? Some men only know how to disagree or challenge harshly. With other men, this isn’t a pro…

I have a five-year-old grandson who has issues with emotional self-regulation. He’s past full-on meltdowns, but he still struggles to behave acceptably when he is disappointed or disciplined. This is to be expected at his age, and I have no doubt he will get past it. Unfortunately, some adults still struggle with emotional self-regulation. But it’s…

What little gift would your wife appreciate? Flowers? Chocolate? A replacement for a kitchen tool she just broke? Every woman is different, but there is certainly some token of your love that would stir her heart. Figure out what it is, and give it. Showing you know her with a gift that is perfect for her is even better than the gift itself. Image …

The other day I heard a woman expressed great appreciation to several men, including her husband, who had done some work to fix up her property. It wasn’t just “thanks”; it was a deep, honest expression of gratitude. I’m sure it blessed every man involved. Many men rarely hear this kind of gratitude. We don’t do things for the thanks, but not being…

Let me ask you a question: What would it take for you and your wife to have more sex? If your answer is “For my wife to say yes more often” you’re probably wrong. Aside from bad teaching she got when she was young, the two reasons woman say no to sex are that it doesn’t fit into their life, and they don’t really enjoy it. If a woman is too busy or …

New Zealand psychologist Jessica Max says we either have a sexual growth mindset or a sexual destiny mindset. A man or woman with a sexual growth mindset thinks that sexual satisfaction takes effort and work. But with a sexual destiny mindset, you think a couple is either sexually compatible or not, and this determined how good or bad their sex lif…

Does your husband want to know where you are at all times? Does it feel a bit invasive, as if he is monitoring you? Consider the following: “Some individuals in long-term marriages report intensities of romantic love comparable to individuals newly in love. How common is this? Are correlates of long-term romantic love consistent with theoretical mo…

Recently, when we had some downtime, Lori asked me to join her in the bedroom to talk. She’d already discussed making time for another bedroom activity, so I knew this was not some heavy topic. She asked me how I’m feeling about life. Am I happy? Is there anything I would like to add to our life or do differently? We talked about our life for a whi…