Is It OK To Do Less Long-Term Work?
Manage episode 424197014 series 3530733
This is a short episode and it’s really about you giving yourself permission to do the work that is going to feel most joyful and sustainable for you.
I’m going to talk about two different roles we might choose for ourselves as therapists, healers and coaches:
A catalyst who helps people through a big and clear change in a particular area of their lives.
OR
An integrator who helps people grow and maintain changes over a long period of time in many areas of their lives.
I know there’s a lot of overlap and nuance between these 2 roles.
Therapists I work with who want to create signature programs beyond private practice often want to be in the role of catalyst more of the time, and long-term integrator less of the time.
They’re feeling over-full on the long-term work of helping their clients day-by-day, week-by-week, month-by-month and year-by-year.
They value that long-term work and are honored to get to do it, but they fear that if they keep doing it full time, they’re going to burn out, or maybe just not love their work so much.
In the programs they create, these therapists want to be in the role of short-term change catalyst.
They want to step further into their role as teacher, presenter, and facilitator.
They want to create a container that moves participants through a process of profound growth in a particular area that they really care about.
The topics of these programs include: sexuality, relationships, parenting, money, business, and particular life experiences like divorce and grief…and on and on. I’ll give you a few examples of programs folks have created in a minute.
These programs are time-limited, usually happening over a number weeks or just a few days.
These therapists find it satisfying to watch their people have big insights and make big changes and progress in their programs.
But when folks are getting ready to create their programs, they sometimes think…
“Wait a minute. Even if I help people create a lot of change quickly, maintaining those changes takes long-term work. It’s not just one and done.
So then is my program valuable enough if it doesn’t help people through the long-term maintenance of that change?”
Here’s my answer: YES. The focused change your program creates is highly valuable.
Both kinds of work are totally valuable and necessary.
Neither kind of work is more or less valuable.
As a therapist, I was trained with a bit of either/or thinking. I remember learning that REAL change takes time, and that rapid change is probably fleeting.
Perhaps as therapists, sometimes this is a defensive stance. Sometimes the long-term, subtler work of a therapist doesn’t get enough credit because it’s less obvious than the change that happens during something like a retreat or a workshop.
But you, my friend, are not going to devalue that long-term work. AND you still might not always want to do that long-term work yourself.
You can choose to run a time-limited program and you can also encourage your participants to keep doing long-term work after they are done with your program.
Think of this from the participant’s point of view. I’ll use myself as an example.
When a topic really matters to me, I want to work with someone who is obsessed with that topic for a period of time. I want to be held in a container where I’ll get to focus on topic only. I want a curated experience that is designed to help me make a significant change.
This happened to me recently.
I was a participant last year in Deb Benfield’s program: Aging With Vitality And Body Liberation.
As a 52 year old who has a body, I loved the idea of putting myself in Deb’s hands to go through a big transformative experience over 8 weeks.
I wanted to deprogram myself from ageism and step further into body liberation. I know Deb is an expert in both of these areas, and is one of the ONLY people who is really a badass in both areas.
In the venn diagram of body liberation and pro-aging, you find Deb and few others in that intersection.
she was a grad of my programs, so I know her work well and I trust her.
In signing up for Deb’s program, I wanted a focused experience to bring about some big changes in perspective and to jump start a process to serve me for as long as I’m lucky enough to keep on aging.
I had already done some learning about pro-aging. I’d done years and years of work around body liberation.
And within the first session interacting with Deb and the small group, I had some insights that shifted my trajectory permanently. I got to focus on this one topic with Deb so those insights and shifts kept coming.
Could I have gone into individual long-term work instead for the same result? Not really.
I wouldn’t have had the curated experience Deb was able to provide.
In long-term work, I would have been busy integrating all the other areas of my life as a parent, partner, business owner, friend, and person healing from childhood trauma.
I benefited from the container being ALL about change within this one topic.
Now I can take those insights and all the transformation that happened over those 8 weeks and integrate them long term.
You better bet that even though the 8 weeks are over, from time to time whenever anything comes up around aging, health, food, or bodies, I say “well Deb Benfield says…”
Now I’ll share a few more examples of programs that folks in the most recent cohort of CYP have created. All of these are designed to bring about big changes in a particular area over a short period of time.
All of them are on topics that are profoundly important to the creator of the program as well as the participants who will enroll.
All of these are delivered live by the the creator.
Aliza Septimus created an Anxiety Relief Program to help people manage worrying thoughts, calm their bodies, and confidently face things they tend to avoid.
Alana Jaeck created Not Just A Pet, a program to help people navigate the loss, or the impending loss of a pet and find their own unique way through the grief.
Salina Bambic created a program to help young adults struggling with social anxiety to build confidence so they can form relationships.
Ali Schaffer created Wandering In Spain, a retreat for women who are ready to experience transformation through exploration and engagement with nature.
Emily Germain created Connected Relationships, a program for busy, motivated couples who are struggling with disconnection.
I’ll be sharing more examples in future episodes because I LOVE to brag on what our grads have created AND because many of you tell me you crave examples so that you can imagine what’s possible.
Now after hearing all of this, do you still find yourself wondering whether it’s OK to just be a change catalyst?
Do you still question whether it’s enough to take people through a valuable and time-limited process and then let them turn to other long-term support?
Maybe there’s some part of you that believes you that you’ve got to suffer in order to be enough. Maybe there’s a part of you that withholds permission to work in the way you will find most joyful and sustainable.
If that resonates, I would encourage you to sit with that belief and see if your wisest self agrees.
My bet is no.
Remember, this week is the time to enroll in CYP to get early access to the curriculum all summer AND a bonus training to help you fill your program. Go to https://rebeltherapist.me/create.
I can’t wait to support you.
Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/227
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