show episodes
 
Lara Currie is on a mission to transform the way we communicate with one another. The workplace doesn't have to be the source of conflict and discord. She'll teach you how to have open and honest communication with people, how to navigate conflict, and how to deal with the difficult "stuff" we all encounter in this ever increasingly defensive world. www.difficulthappens.com Difficult can happen anywhere, so Lara is here to make sure you know exactly how to create positive communication, decr ...
 
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show series
 
https://difficulthappens.com/ Have you ever heard the adage if you want to know who you are, look at your 5 closest friends, or show me who your friends are and I will show you who you are? I have learned that there are certain types of friendships we all need in our lives, friendships that are essential to help us be better, and do better, and hel…
 
“Oh what a tangled web we weave; When first we practice to deceive!” -- Sir Walter Scott Have you ever wondered how people fall for cult leaders? Or why people fall time and time again under the bad influences in their lives? Most people are trusting. You don’t go around expecting people to lie, but when you put your trust into someone who has only…
 
Garbage in, garbage out. Have you noticed that there is a lot of negative fear-based messaging out there right now? If we were to believe every story, post, or article that is published you may think our civilization is on the verge of collapse. The truth is, its WAYYY better than you may think. On today’s episode, I dive into 5 reasons it’s not al…
 
What are Micro-aggressions? Aggression is aggression. Like most things, there is a scale involved, a range. To one extreme the aggression is war, violence, while the other end of the spectrum presents as snide comments and passive-aggressive behavior. Micro-aggressions are so insidious because they hide in plain sight. They are hard to call out and…
 
Is seems almost cliche to say that we are living in unprecedented times. Or maybe it seems trite. Either way, one thing is certain, bad behavior is on the rise, and so is defensiveness leading to a lot of people acting like Jerks. With emotions at an all-time high how do you be or become a better person when you are surrounded by jerks?? In today’s…
 
How we show up online, now, is more important than in pre-COVID times. In-person meetings and large gatherings are a memory and it’s going to be a minute before they come back. So many online platforms have devolved and actual discourse is difficult if not impossible, so how do you show-up and contribute to the conversation and how do you respond t…
 
Dog whistles, tropes, Microaggressions. Women in male-dominated fields deal with these attempts to silence, or sideline, them every week. Last week it came to light that some in presidential candidate Joe Biden’s campaign along with wealthy donors think that Kamal Harris is “Too Ambitious” to be a VP pick. Strong women, women in male-dominated fiel…
 
Jerky’esque behavior is rampant these days. Shocker (not). Rude, jerky, manipulative behaviors are dysfunctional coping skills learned and practiced over their lifetime and were born from their family of origin. It’s time to take your Happy back! Hold firm to your boundaries and be treated with respect. Today, we dive into how the bad behavior inte…
 
“Get down off the cross honey, someone needs the wood” -- Dolly Parton Drama Debbie is in the house, and her martyrdom is impacting everyone. The victim conflict personality type can impact everyone within earshot, they can be easy to dismiss and tough to deal with directly, don’t get caught chasing the shiny in their drama web. In today’s episode,…
 
Every workplace has the potential to become toxic. When you get different personalities together and stressful situations crop up, dysfunctional coping mechanisms kick in. With a strong leader, these situations can be successfully navigated and addressed. When the boss is the Toxic component in your workplaces it leads to a sort of dysfunctional tr…
 
Did you know that there are two types of disappointment? The kind that is your responsibility and that you need to reckon with and make amends for and the kind that does not belong to you and sprouts from others’ expectations of you. Nobody likes that sinking feeling you get in your gut when you have disappointed someone, yet it is a feeling we hav…
 
The most well established, predictable, staunch systems are being re-imagined. Many companies and leaders are looking to make substantive changes. How do you make real changes in such turbulent times? My guest, Puja Madan, helps leaders develop resilience and a mindset shift where real change can happen. Puja and I dive into some pretty tough topic…
 
Have you ever been talking with someone and there is a lot being said, but not much understanding? Last week in the Difficult Happens Podcast private FB group, “Community Happens” (if you haven't already, please join us), Rachel mentioned someone who got really wordy in conversations and uses “fact slamming”. Right away I knew what she meant, but n…
 
“I felt so much that I started to feel nothing” -- Lara When we learn, we grow. In my lifetime, there have been many…. let’s say ‘opportunities for growth.’ Today is another one of those opportunities. Our bodies keep the score of every emotion, every feeling that we have. Stress can physically make you sick, trust me, as someone of white-Irish her…
 
“When we know better, we do better.” -- Maya Angelou Summary: Anger is a powerful emotion, anger is the great protector. Anger can also be a mask for an emotion that you have but do not want to acknowledge. By now we have all seen or heard about the Central Park woman Amy Cooper who was asked to leash her dog and proceeded to call the police and cl…
 
“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” -- Ford Summary: Have you ever had to have a difficult conversation with yourself? Change happens with us, or without and sometimes that change brings up the hard stuff. Julie Fry joined me for a “Coffee & Conversation” series that I do on my YouTube Channel to talk abo…
 
"Listen to hear, not to respond.” Lara Summary: The simple act of listening can diffuse a tense situation. We’ve all experienced a conversation where the other person is just waiting to respond, not really listening. When it comes to conflict, it is almost always the case that the people involved are waiting to talk, to explain, to convince, to per…
 
We’ve come a long way baby… and there is farther to go. When it comes to gender equality, the pace of change is slow. If you are a woman in a male-dominated field, the pace of change can feel glacial, and at times, as if it will never come. Anger has been the moral property of males when women are angry it is a warning of indignity, threat, insult,…
 
Divorce, changing jobs, shifting friendships, or even say a nasty virus. Hard times and change are inevitable, so how do you make it through and build resilience? When you are no stranger to dysfunction, trauma, manipulation tactics, and change, times of crises can seem almost calming. Lara Currie & Ameé Quiriconi talk about how good change can com…
 
Summary: Sometimes avoiding a tough conversation is the way to go, the ones that involve issues that work themselves out with time. Most conversations don’t. They need to be addressed, confronted, or even involve a “carefrontation”. How do you do this? How do you have a tough conversation that you have avoided or just plain don’t want to have? It c…
 
Summary: Leadership is evolving and that’s a good thing. Fluid and ever-changing aren’t just buzzwords, they are the new norm which means that the way leaders of every type lead also needs to change and grow to meet the new and uncertain challenges they will face. There are some inspiring examples of great leadership styles emerging from unexpected…
 
If you were to graph out what communication is, it would look like a vast interconnected web that goes on forever. There are so many variables that impact the way we communicate and the way that we perceive others' meanings. 🥺😑🤣 It was illuminating to sit down with my mom Dr. Theresa Smith, to talk about context, discourse, culture, feminism, inter…
 
"The secret of good crisis management is not good vs. bad, it’s preventing the bad from getting worse.” Andy Gilman How do you prepare for days that you hope will never come? Uncertainty is an inevitability, and these are uncertain times. Preparing your business and your employees to adapt during a crisis is necessary, and it doesn’t have to be dif…
 
Manipulative people have an arsenal of tactics they will use against you. Blame-Shifting is one of the big ones. When it is used by a boss or co-worker, it can create a toxic environment quickly, one that, if the manipulator isn’t stopped, will only get worse. In order to combat the blame-shifters tactic, we will shine the light on the many forms o…
 
Happiness and Joy can be found in the most difficult of situations. In today’s episode, Maja and I dive Into finding the good in a difficult situation, being inspired by one another and defining what we want our future to be. “I’ve been through a Genocide & a Pandemic and didn’t even get a T-shirt” Maja Kazazic is back on the show to talk about fin…
 
It might escape notice, slip right under your radar like a birthday of a distant relative and yet it impacts every one of us from Queen’s to service workers. Stress & anxiety has many faces and often escape notice until a full-blown reaction surfaces. What can you do about it, especially during difficult times? Be on the lookout for these clues. Li…
 
This was the conversation we should all be having. There is a “new leadership” model that is emerging right now. One that is more humanistic, open and vulnerable. These uncertain times, the change we are experiencing, and the resulting anxiety, fear, and grief that is pervasive have sparked a new ‘communication mode’. That is a good thing. Molly Mc…
 
It is a super strange time that we are in right now. Things are changing by the hour. One thing is certain, during a Pandemic, there will be some uncertainty. In today’s episode, I dive into how people react, why they react a certain way and what you can do to connect, communicate and understand one another without risk of starting a conflict. Stre…
 
Summary: Oh-No she didn’t! It doesn’t matter who you are; mother Theresa, Oprah Winfrey, my Mom, you get mad. Not like ‘teenager forbidden to date a boy’ type mad - that’s a singular type of rage, more like a ‘defend your honor, correct a falsehood, shut down a misogynist’ type anger. Which can be a bad look for a professional. We are whole human b…
 
Have you ever noticed that when you are in a bad mood, jerks and rude behavior really get’s under your skin? Covid 19, a busy work schedule, travel restrictions, and perimenopause have Lara in a Bad Mood. So off to the Gym I go. Moving your body is a great way to blow off some steam, usually… Today at the Gym, my bad mood was exacerbated by Jerks. …
 
Dysfunctional communication, incivility, and bad behavior impact us all. Taking your power back and building strong boundaries is easier than you think. This is why I podcast. To raise awareness of dysfunctional communication styles and how to combat them. To raise awareness of boundary breaches that take your power away from you. To raise awarenes…
 
Summary: “It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them” Mark Twain Gossip, griping, negativity, seems to be everywhere right now. Dysfunctional, passive-aggressive manipulative behavior becomes the norm, not the exception. So what do you do about it? How do you respond when those around you are being a Deb…
 
Summary: “Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths.” Joseph Campbell I’m rubber your glue, your words bounce off me and stick to you. This schoolyard taunt trickled into my brain this week when someone was projecting her own stuff onto me. Has this ever happened to you? Someone accuses you of feeling a certain way when you don’t, or assume…
 
Summary: When a manipulator starts spinning their tale it can feel like you are being tossed in a word salad! One thing that all manipulators have in common is that they use words to obfuscate, influence and control, also known as ‘Magical Speaking’. Have you heard the tapes between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp? One thing these tapes make clear, asi…
 
“When you can be strong alone, you will be stronger together.” It can feel like you have to choose between a successful career and a successful relationship, especially in this modern age where the line between a high functioning person, a real go-getter and a workaholic can get blurred. But you don't have to! Amber Hawley spent most of her career …
 
Summary: “Not Making a choice is a choice.” When is the right time to make a change? Change happens in a moment, a moment when the status quo, the way things have always been, becomes intolerable. Saying yes when you really mean no. When you openly give and they take more. These are the tiny boundary over-reaches that create a crack, a crack that m…
 
Summary: “You are a master to the words you don’t say and a slave to the ones you do.” Touchy conversations can be a minefield to navigate, so how do you decide what to say and when to say it? Sometimes we respond out of habit, without thinking through what we are saying. What we choose to say, and when we choose to say it has everything to do with…
 
Summary: “My best successes came on the heels of failures.” ― Barbara Corcoran What makes a Great Leader? Sometimes the greatest leaders that impact our lives are not in the traditional leadership role. Mentors, leaders, those who influence you and your life can come from anywhere. True leadership cannot be taught, it must be practiced. In today’s …
 
Summary: “You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.” ― Joyce Meyer What do you do about a Jerk? You can’t avoid coming across one. You may even have one in your office, social group or sphere of influence. Jerky behavior is unavoidable and does not discriminate on who it inflicts. Men, women, young and old, jerks come in all shapes and s…
 
“Negative people have a problem for every solution.” ― Albert Einstein It’s the little things that create a weak spot in your boundaries, and this weak spot creates a tear that manipulative people will exploit. Manipulators don’t wear name tags, they hide in plain sight and one person's toxic boss is another persons’ motivating mentor. So how can y…
 
“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ― Albert Einstein In this year-end episode, Amee Quiriconi of the One Broken Mom Podcast joins me to talk about endings and beginnings. Change is an inevitability in this world. Sometimes the change is something we choose such as endi…
 
The Away travel brand went from a fast-growing popular brand to the epitome of the new toxic work environment leading to one of the CEO’s & co-founder stepping down. A workplace can become toxic by inches, like a lobster boiling in a pot of water, before you know it the environment has taken it’s toll mentally & physically. In this episode, we take…
 
Summary: It started at a neighborhood wine bar and ended on amazon prime. Your personal values, along with the social norms of the time dictate what you find embarrassing or shameful but those social norms can change with the times, situation and community you are in. While out at a wine bar with friends I got some unsolicited advice from a strange…
 
Have you ever noticed that procrastination goes hand in hand with pressure? Whether it is the pressure that came first or the procrastination that leads to the pressure, they go hand in hand. Everyone procrastinates from time to time, it’s perfectly normal. Until it’s a problem. When that procrastination leads to missed opportunities, loss of reven…
 
Summary: Shorter days, colder nights and seasonal celebrations abound, welcome to trigger-season. This is the season of gathering & celebrating. There are family functions, social get-togethers, and work parties to attend. Along with that, there are inevitable assumptions about how everything will turn out and expectations of how we want things to …
 
How do you find gratitude when you have a bad attitude? As whole human beings, we experience a range of emotions every day, some are good, and some we think of as bad. So how do you practice gratitude when you just don’t feel like it, that is the topic of today’s episode. We tell ourselves stories about ourselves to ourselves, about situations and …
 
How to get over it Whether you have experienced a major life blow, like a divorce or a job change, or a more minor slight like a negative comment or angry road incident, it can be hard to move past it. On today’s show, we talk about how to ‘Get over’ tough things and move past them to a place where you can find some peace. You can’t control the fac…
 
If you are a Perfectionist or have the Disease to Please, your very environment can trigger you. www.difficulthappens.com We have unconscious reactions all day long, ones that we aren’t aware of and yet they impact us in ways that will surprise you. Your subconscious is in control of your actions and reactions 99% of the time so it’s no surprise th…
 
Perfectionism is a trap that can keep you frozen in inaction or frenzied in productive procrastination. This perfectionist trap can trigger feelings that lead you down the road to a fight, flight, freeze or appease reaction and start you on that familiar hampster wheel of emotions which impacts the way you feel, act, and react. In today’s episode d…
 
Summary: “It just takes a little bit of light to break through the darkness” Not everyone can hear about the hard stuff. Sometimes the very nature of your work is hard to hear about or to talk about. Social workers, first responders, non-profits working with marginalized or victimized groups, these jobs have built-in them difficult topics to discus…
 
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