Best Ryan & Sam (@njapoet Podcasts (2024)

1
C U Next Tuesday 21:00

8d ago21:00

21:00

If cocaine could make a sound, this would be it. So roll up a dolla bill and get your ears ready for an ass-blast of psychological trauma! Sam finds his hidden talent (Hint: it has three holes and you stick your fingers into it), and Ryan stabs some kids. Sam also explores the virgin field of forensic fecal analyses. And finally, Sam shows Ryan whe…

1
PT Losers 28:13

27d ago28:13

28:13

Still here? Well great! Cause so are Sam and Ryan. Here’s what to expect from this circus: the age old tradition of “Jokes before hoes” is discussed and then Ryan breaks down the reasons gen Zer’s will never make captain. Then the boys give you some simple pointers on how to find easy blackmail targets and why PT Cruisers are not optimal vehicles. …

1
Ashes to Ashes, Butt to Butt 21:30

2M ago21:30

21:30

Sit back, relax and pop a couple quaaludes cause Sam and Ryan are on a roll! Let the smooth sounds of their intergalactic b$&lshit train cause you to question your very existence. Sam talks Bro Code. Ryan needs an Uber Piss. And what the f&$k is “butt to butt”? Find out in this episode of BNR. Oh, and the boys hate some cute ideas to help you prese…

1
Look, Mom, We Made It! (100th episode) 24:42

2M ago24:42

24:42

In this historic 100th episode episode, Ryan finally admits to his long-lasting crush on Sam who can't recall if he left his balls out to defrost or not. Meanwhile, Ryan contemplates one last ditch effort at selling his body parts on the interwebs before dazzling us with another Top Ten List of Cars to Buy in 2024. Other topics include: baby exoske…

1
Bad Hair Ryan & Good Throat Sam 16:34

3M ago16:34

16:34

Ryan explains what a menace he was as a teen (and still is) and Sam gives arguably the greatest marriage advice every husband needs to hear. We also get to the bottom of Ryan's bad haircut, why dental hygienists ask so many questions, and finally, Ryan shares Top Ten Reasons Sam Can't Own a Cat. #Meow Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episod…

1
McShit Burgers 27:31

3M ago27:31

27:31

Sam and Ryan's investigative reporting expose a Coca Cola Cow Connection that may be at the heart of the obesity and diabetes epidemic in the US, so their logical next step is to look for ways to exploit cattle for their own gain. We also learn about Ryan's crippling fear of heights, who would be assassinated first, and how Joe, as a a dairy DJ, ge…

1
Bo Knows Touching Dolphins 26:54

3M ago26:54

26:54

Did you know Bo Jackson saved Ryan's life, dolphins prefer manual stimulation, and apologies are not as hard as you think to give? In this groundbreaking new episode of Burn & Rave, Ryan explains bumps and rails, they choose their favorite beans for National Bean Day, and they invent archery bowling. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode…

1
Eye Think We Need Help 37:49

4M ago37:49

37:49

Some people have eyes in the back of their heads, but the boys at Burn and Rave propose a new and better set of eyeballs in a much more strategic place, and they meticulously outline the plans and possibilities of making it happen. In addition, Ryan teaches Sam something he wishes he never learned and they discuss ways to elevate your dogs intellig…

1
Keeping Tit Professional 25:49

4M ago25:49

25:49

In this long-awaited new episode, the geniuses at Burn & Rave invent Tent Pants (TM/COPYRIGHT) and Cat Hats (ALSO, DON"T STEAL OUR IDEAS, ELON!) In politics, we solve the world's geopolitical crisis with our new venture Burnouts for Borders, a non-profit, border security company. In science news, Ryan explains the Earth's rotation and Sam explains …

1
Horse Head in the Bed 32:04

5M ago32:04

32:04

In this episode of Burn & Rave, Sam explains ekphrastic poetry and the boys reveal some performance tips that could help you win the next poetry prize! Additionally, these geniuses discuss the world of horses, Ryan's nasal period, and Sam introduces Ryan to Chapstick. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not g…

1
Dishonor After Death 32:09

5M ago32:09

32:09

The Burn and Rave boys discuss old-age ailments and the dark, anti-Christian symbolism that recur in iconic songs. (Spoiler Alert: Melissa Etheridge and Led Zeppelin are cancelled.) Sam also shares cannibal haiku and they discuss their *award-winning human recycling initiative. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember:…

1
CHUD Kids 42:18

6M ago42:18

42:18

In this quintessential episode of Burn and Rave, we learn why Ryan's favorite teacher was his favorite teacher. (Hint: It's not what you think. It's worse.) We also learn about narcissistic parenting and why Sam is always wrong. Also, Ryan has a plan to eliminate deadbeat dads through his non-profit Chud Kids program. Meanwhile, Sam gets invited to…

1
The Art of Joking Off 24:18

6M ago24:18

24:18

The Burn and Rave crew breaks down their need for a lot more sax, they engage in a messy joke off, and Ryan explains why he loves the slow lane. Sam explains his biggest flex while Ryan finally learns to flex his kegel. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should bur…

1
Shark and Bark 31:15

7M ago31:15

31:15

Listen, just don't tell anyone. In this episode, Ryan and Sam discuss reverse heightism, Ryan's rabid dog, shark baby hybrids, dog paternity tests, and Sam's near death experience (as well as being hit on by a GILF) at his favorite watering hole. Ryan also won't STFU about his Tonka truck, and they offer a bulletproof way to decrease crime and car …

1
Vaginasaurus 19:32

7M ago19:32

19:32

In this women-themed episode, Sam learns about lesbians and the fact that some women actually do stink. Meanwhile, Ryan invents a feminine hygiene product for dinosaur lovers. Also, the boys of Burn and Rave examine the gang epidemic in America and devise a way to decrease gun violence. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. …

1
The B&R Bear Trap 27:51

8M ago27:51

27:51

In this episode, the boys of Burn & Rave invent a full-proof sexual assault prevention device. Ryan survives Disneyland. DUIs vs IUDs are explained, and we learn that Sam is unable to perform jury duty. The rest is censored. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age shoul…

1
Guaca-Glory-Holy-Lizzo-Mole 24:30

8M ago24:30

24:30

In this earth-shattering episode, Sam and Ryan breakdown the Lizzo story and get to the banana of things. In the science portion of the show, Ryan explains what happens when male genitalia is removed. Sam has different ideas. Also in this episode . . . Do dogs make good dental hygienists? Do bad people smell worse than good people? Is bowling the n…

1
Pimp Ass Fries 21:11

9M ago21:11

21:11

In this food friendly episode, the boys of Burn and Rave breakdown menu frustration, front butt smuggling, and the problem with Mountain Mike's pizza. They also crack the code . . . and it's 867-5309. In other news, Sam has a "cure" for Parkinsons and Ryan wants Pimp Ass Fries. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember:…

1
Slack-Jawed Jokels 16:23

9M ago16:23

16:23

Sam and Ryan joke each other off in this all new episode. Other topics include: pizza rat, how to use an air fryer, Sam's gorgeous feet, peanut butter, and the 1% of wisdom Ryan imparts to his children. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at clo…

1
Gouillabaisse 22:01

10M ago22:01

22:01

Sam investigates Ryan's Google search history and Sam shares his list of the most hated people. They also invent BNR bouillon cubes. Available soon in our shop. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of…

1
NES on Fire 22:49

10M ago22:49

22:49

Ryan got ripped off . . . or did he? Perhaps he invested in the greatest NES knockoff in the world. Tune in to decide. Additionally, in this episode, Ryan and Sam incubate a few new ideas: A Post-Mortem Firewood Company and Uber Hearses. They also discuss the Zen of Road Rage. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: …

1
Whip It Good 27:44

11M ago27:44

27:44

Who's desecrating Burn & Rave HQ? What's causing Ryan's allergies? How much plastic are we allowed to safely consume? How does a can of whip cream turn into a deadly high? Who actually needs therapy? All of these question and more are answered in this deeply introspective and revelatory episode of the Burn and Rave podcast. Tune in, vibe out, share…

1
Dumber Summer Games 24:40

11M ago24:40

24:40

In this extra special episode, Ryan teaches Sam about old Chevy trucks and Sam teaches Ryan about using the gym. Parenting during the Covid era, the origins of the dinosaur hoax, and Ryan's numerous head injuries are also on the menu at this award-unwinning podcast diner, which is guaranteed to nourish you (or make you sick) on your long and windy …

1
Swaddle Grand Champion 26:26

11M ago26:26

26:26

In this special parenting edition, Ryan and Sam debate who's the best baby swaddler and they break down the fundamental differences between Gen X (the best) and Gen Z (not the best) . Sam explains Gen Z speech to Ryan to help him better engage his offspring, and Ryan shares his extensive knowledge of the Zodiac. We also learn that Sam was recently …

1
Boomers with Bud Light 21:03

12M ago21:03

21:03

In this emotionally vulnerable episode of Burn & Rave, Ryan unloads on Sam and then introduces him to the Barf Bag. Ryan also discusses the history of hot rods and where to get the best gow jobs. (Ryan likes cars.) Meanwhile, Sam explains human's energy pipelines and how to become superhuman. They also Shark Tank the idea of Ball Polishing Boutique…

1
The Shred Shed 22:01

1y ago22:01

22:01

Have you been sunning your perineum? The Burn and Rave boys suggest an even better way to get some Vitamin D deep inside your body. The health benefit are extraordinary. Additionally, Sam reveals his plans for a Shred Shed Kids' Club and it doesn't go well. Ryan got new shoes, a new urologist, and he reveals that he was a Punk Rock Janitor and his …

1
Drunk Honky Tonk Jesus 26:14

1y ago26:14

26:14

Things you didn't know about Ryan: He was attacked by junipers, he's stuck a lot of things up his nose, and, most importantly, he is Honky Tonk Jesus. Sam explains the art of foley, how to create a meta-tattoo, and why the a-hole is the window to the soul. Meanwhile, Joe tiles igloos. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Re…

1
Diddler on the Roof 28:28

1y ago28:28

28:28

In this informative episode that's guaranteed to make you smarter, Ryan and Sam explore a new contracting business: "Diddler on the Roof," for all of your roofing needs and more. Additionally, Ryan explains blunts and shares some rock and roll irony while Sam explains the origin story of male contortionists. The two also debate whose blood is more …

1
Pirate Muscle Hot Rods 14:46

1y ago14:46

14:46

Sam and Ryan use their artificial intelligence to test ChatGPT's actual intelligence by asking it to do our jobs and write a script for our award-winning podcast. Can AI do it better than us? Can AI last as long and give our audience the ear orgasms they have come to expect? Spoiler: It sure can and we will be unemployed soon. Tune in, vibe out, sh…

1
LoFi Larva Libations 23:27

1y ago23:27

23:27

In this episode, Sam tries to tell Ryan a story about a shot at LoFi Labs and it doesn't go well, but spoiler: it does come to a very satisfying end . . . eventually. So hang on tight. Detours include a trip to Worm Sommelier University and a lesson on how to handle peer pressure at 47. We explain how tequila is really made, and sadly we learn that…

1
Flat Bottom Guy 29:41

1y ago29:41

29:41

You may have heard of Flat Earthers, but have you heard of Flat Assers? Ryan is a charter member. On this episode of the award-winning Burn & Rave podcast, Sam explains the importance of butter and bread in bed, the boys get to the bottom of the Bottom's Up Coffee Shop empire, and in their theology segment they discuss the origins of man, Adam and …

1
Don't You Be My Neighbor 27:10

1y ago27:10

27:10

In this rain-soaked episode, we learn that Ryan is the real My Pillow guy and quite possibly the world's most competitive serial killer. He hates lawn tractors, Sam's hot dog d*ck pillows, and apparently everyone around him, but has Ryan gone too far this time? Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentl…

1
Disco Dicks 34:09

1+ y ago34:09

34:09

We've created a party in our pants, and you're all coming! In this long-awaited, brand spanking new episode of the Burn and Rave podcast, we invent competitive hitchhiking and Sam saves Kanye's reputation. Ryan helps Sam understand the emotional significance of snot rockets and covalent bonds while Sam extols the virtues of exhuming bodies for thei…

1
LiL NOASSATALL & Yung DWARFY 34:00

1+ y ago34:00

34:00

In this fascinating new episode, we learn that Ryan has tinnitus and malfunctioning glutes, but Sam is just the doctor he needs. Also, the new BNR studio drapes double as a Rorschach test and Ryan fails (or passes). We aren't really psychiatrists, so you can decide. Ryan opens the mail bag and reads a fan post. Meanwhile, Sam opens the male brag an…

1
The Sloppy Joe Show 29:55

1+ y ago29:55

29:55

In this week's episode we are joined by a very special guest: DJ Psuno, Crush Con, Tile Guy and Certified GILF: Joe, the Sound Guy! In this groundbreaking new episode, the boys of BNR discuss Ryan's pet anaconda, why Sam's mom hates Ryan, the difference between Cat Stevens vs. Yusef Islam, and the difference between John Holmes and somebody named J…

1
Live From Burn And Rave HQ #2 29:24

1+ y ago29:24

29:24

Sam and Ryan discuss their non-invitation to the wedding of the century, Ryan joins a women's gym, and Sam has a plan to get homeless people paid! In this week's Culture & Technology segment, the boyz of Burn & Rave explore gay cowboys, "Collar Cams" for cats and dogs, and a fool-proof way to stop your neighbor's dog from barking. Tune in, vibe out…

1
OrganMatch.com 27:04

1+ y ago27:04

27:04

Need a side hustle? The boys of Burn & Rave have a plan that pays. Additionally, they reveal the sad truth about Sally and her seashells. In pirate news, Sam explains the synergy between pirates and parrots and Ryan reveals why eye patches were a myth. And if you're ever involved in a cannibal apocalypse, better listen to this episode for survival …

1
Ol' Family Pants 21:46

1+ y ago21:46

21:46

Sam unloads on Ryan in this frantic new episode wherein two children who identify as men rave about such things as where Ryan derives his artistic inspiration, why dentists are not allowed in elite country clubs, and how much partying is too little partying (after 40). P.s. Please don't judge us by the size of our podcast. This one is short, but ve…

1
Eating Martha's Nasty Box 34:05

1+ y ago34:05

34:05

In this star-studded episode of studs who think they are stars, Ryan and Sam debate The Simpsons vs. Futurama. Ryan solves homelessness with an absolutely brilliant plan, and Sam invents a red-light, green-light dating app that will revolutionize dating culture forever. We also learn about Ryan's obsession with Martha Stewart's box and why Sam need…

1
Our Beachfront Drugstore 35:53

1+ y ago35:53

35:53

In this episode of the award-winning Burn & Rave podcast, you will learn about the following: How to Get Rich Epileptic Police Officers California vs. The World Ryan's Fears The Benefits of Riboflavin The Power of Beets Hooker Startup Industry The Joys of Micro-Management We use the term "learn" loosely. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this epi…

1
Who's Your Puppet Master 36:24

1+ y ago36:24

36:24

In this provocative new episode of Burn & Rave, Ryan and Sam cure migraines, breakdown gay geography, and they finally explain why everyone runs away from Ryan at Home Depot. They also reinvent self-stimulation through puppetry, and peppered throughout this doozy of an episode is a lot of heart, a lot of inspiration, and a lot of laughs or your mon…

1
Bobbits & Buttafuckos 32:32

1+ y ago32:32

32:32

What do John Wayne Bobbit & Joey Buttafuoco have in common? They're both on the show. Well, not on the show, but we discuss their trials, tribulations, and severed genitals. Also, we discuss National Geographic's monopoly on animal pornography and how we can tap that market (not the animals). Sam invents an app for NDA agreements while Ryan gets de…

1
RelationTrippin' 33:20

1+ y ago33:20

33:20

In this highly anticipated, ground-breaking, historic new episode, Ryan and Sam discuss the ongoing competition between them and their better halves. Also, Ryan talks a bit about his mothertruckin' lot lizard fetishes. Additionally, Sam explains how to be sexually attractive to women, and possibly men. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episo…

1
Saviors of the Universe 40:33

2y ago40:33

40:33

We are back from our Covid hiatus! Thank you for your patience! In this brilliant new episode, we discuss Covid conspiracy theories, Flash Gordon, women drivers and what Ryan saw as a truck driver. We also break down our competitive edges and Ryan's edge is sharp enough to injure loved ones. Meanwhile, Sam crushes his son in a Father/Son swim compe…

1
Long Meat Stew 35:27

2y ago35:27

35:27

In this brilliant new episode, Sam explains the old concept of "bros before hoes" to Ryan, and Ryan explains his love of Disney's Frozen. Additionally, they explore the subtle difference between and slap and a spank, Class A vs Class C licenses, sliding down Powell Street in San Francisco, wife seduction, and they miraculously solve both the prison…

1
Burn & Rave Presents The iLLiterists Volume 2 12:09

2y ago12:09

12:09

Please enjoy another bonus (but unfortunately Joeless) episode of "The ILLiterists," a Burn & Rave production that shows a more literary side of Ryan, the mechanic, and Sam, the professor. In each episode, they share original writing, then discuss the influence and impact of each piece. The goal of this show is to inspire more creative writing, spi…

1
Not So Super Cuts 31:44

2y ago31:44

31:44

As the country wars over reproductive rights and chaos ensues overseas, the boys of Burn and Rave are compelled to discuss all the hot topics like anchovies, jock pockets (sports bras for men) and swinger parties. In addition, they discuss the very large package of meat they received. Sam and Ryan write spontaneous haiku and Ryan got a haircut . . …

1
Burn & Rave Presents The iLLiterists Volume 1 29:50

2y ago29:50

29:50

Please enjoy this bi-weekly bonus but unfortunately Joeless premiere episode of "The ILLiterists," a Burn & Rave production that shows a softer and more literary side of Ryan, the mechanic, and Sam, the professor. In each episode, they share short literary, dare we say, Pulitzer-Prize worthy works they wrote and discuss the influence and impact of …

1
Downtown Browntown 38:58

2y ago38:58

38:58

Look out, San Francisco! You just stepped into the Burn & Rave podcast (and probably in a pile of crap too. Let's be honest.) but don't worry, we have figured out how to monetize your poop problem! In this scholarly episode, Ryan shares his secret to stellar vocal warm ups and Sam explains the phallic and yonic imagery in society. BREAKING NEWS: We…

1
Flatulent Flautist 43:39

2y ago43:39

43:39

In this chocolate-covered episode, Ryan and Sam debate the definition of "sandwich" when Ryan doesn't accept the deliciousness of Sam's dessert sensation. They also invent the "Fart Flute," a genius invention for untimely gas, and Sam breaks down Gen Z and his family's "promposal" ritual to Ryan who can't fathom such a thing. Things get personal in…

Podcasts Worth a Listen

Ryan & Sam (@njapoet Podcasts

Podcasts Worth a Listen

Quick Reference Guide