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The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

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The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.
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show series
 
Who are you? How do others view you? And why do we care so much about what others think of us, especially when they probably aren't spending as much time thinking about us as we think they are? When they do think about us, they see us through their own lens. It’s time to discover who you are. So, how exactly do you do that? Tony Overbay, LMFT, read…
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Tony Overbay, LMFT, and Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, dive deep into the complexities of betrayal trauma, focusing on the emotional and cognitive challenges faced by both partners. They explore how the betrayer's shame and fragmented memories often lead to staggered disclosures, which can further traumatize the betrayed partner. Over time, underst…
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Understanding the interplay between expectations and emotions can not only help you stay more grounded, but it can also significantly impact your relationships in a positive way. In this episode, Tony delves into the art of managing expectations and emotions to foster healthier connections with others. Tony explores the detrimental effects of unhea…
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Tony Overbay, LMFT, discusses the critical role of differentiation in personal development and relationship growth. Sharing the story of a couple, Lisa and Mike, Tony illustrates how unresolved childhood dynamics can lead to emotional stagnation and superficial interactions in adulthood. He delves into the concepts of differentiation and emotional …
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Tony shares his recent experiences with change, moving, and personal growth. Tony discusses the unexpected lessons learned from moving out of his home after 25 years, selling items on Facebook Marketplace, dealing with moving trucks, and the psychology of facing unknown challenges. He reflects on how accepting and navigating through the discomfort …
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In the 7th installment of the "Death by a Thousand Cuts" series, Tony Overbay, LMFT, presents a compelling crossover episode between The Virtual Couch and Waking Up to Narcissism. This episode delves into the complex journey of healing and empowerment for individuals who have survived relationships characterized by emotional immaturity, narcissism,…
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Tony navigates the intricate balance that defines successful partnerships: the harmony between deep emotional connections with your partner and the pursuit of individual growth. Drawing from the principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Crucible Approach, with an emphasis on self-differentiation, he shares his own growth experience as…
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Tony Overbay, LMFT, welcomes Kurt Francom, the executive director and podcast host of Leading Saints ([Leading Saints](https://www.leadingsaints.org)). Kurt's first book, "Is God Disappointed in Me: Removing Shame From the Gospel of Grace," is available on Amazon ([Amazon Link](https://amzn.to/49BYUCk)). In a candid admission, Tony shares his emoti…
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Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, joins Tony on the Virtual Couch to discuss dealing with grief and loss. Marla is a new associate working with Tony. Marla received her master's degree in clinical psychology from Pepperdine University. She shares her passion for her work in mental health counseling and touches on her own personal experience about shif…
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Tony Overbay, LMFT, offers an in-depth exploration of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and The Nurtured Heart Approach (NHA) to provide a fresh perspective on mindful parenting. The discussion centers around the transformative power of NHA's "Stand 1," which advocates for focusing energy on celebrating children's successes rather than engagi…
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This description and the show notes are brought to you directly from AI, Sydney, and I truly wouldn't sound so silly! This dialogue-based presentation dives deep into the complexities of mental health and interpersonal relationships. With therapy experiences, personal observations, and explored topics ranging from narcissism, ADHD, and addiction to…
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Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into an article by Dr. Richard Friedman titled 'Plenty of People Could Quit Therapy Right Now.' Tony reads the article and comments in real-time, talking about the many different reasons people come to therapy, the importance of the therapist/client relationship, and what to do if you don’t feel a connection with your ther…
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Tony Overbay, LMFT, tackles the timeless question, "Why do we care so much about what others think?" Offering insights on halting the cycle of worrying over others' opinions, Tony emphasizes the importance of staying true to oneself (and ponders, "Who am I, really?"). He explores finding that sweet spot between valuing the world's input and heeding…
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(Description provided by AI, i.e., we’re really not this stuffy) On this TikTok live session, a father-daughter duo - Tony, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and his daughter, Sydney- discuss complicated familial relationships, drawing from a real-life scenario. They elaborate on the perspective of a 15-year-old girl attempting to navigate …
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Tony shares the story of Hudson and Bailey, a couple working towards improving their marriage, particularly around communication patterns and how they deal with conflict. The episode focuses on the couple's struggle with common relationship issues that have resulted in miscommunication and misunderstandings. Tony outlines key behavioral models and …
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Tony takes inspiration from Carolyn Steber's article, "Is Everyone Out Here Lying To Their Therapist," https://www.bustle.com/wellness/lying-to-therapist using it as a muse (and explaining what a muse is) to explore the benefits and challenges of therapy from both the client's and therapist's viewpoints. He delves into primary and secondary emotion…
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Did you know there are several different types of rest beyond just sleeping? Coming from a 'we don’t know what we don’t know' standpoint, today’s episode has the potential to be both a game-changer and life-changing as we unveil how identifying and fulfilling these diverse types of rest can revolutionize your health, happiness, and productivity. To…
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Tony addresses why so many New Year’s resolutions don’t last and explores the concept of value-based goals and the importance of aligning them with personal values for the sake of authenticity and lasting change. He discusses the shortcomings of the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goal-setting method. He plays cli…
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In this special bonus episode of The Virtual Couch, Tony shares the latest episode of “The Mind, The Mirror and Me,” a podcast he co-hosts with his daughter Mackie Overbay. Mackie shares 24 life lessons she's learned in her 24 years of life in honor of her birthday (today! Wish her a happy birthday at @beautybymackie on Instagram). From discussing …
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What happens when an optimist and a pessimist are in a long-term relationship? According to new research from the article “Can an Unhappy Partner Erode Your Happiness Over Time?” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/202312/can-an-unhappy-partner-erode-your-happiness-over-time by Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D. they eventually align some…
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Tony tackles the misconception of perfection and the fear of making a mistake. He emphasizes the importance of differentiating ourselves, pursuing our genuine passions, and learning to accept the unpredictability of life. Tony guides us to redefine fulfillment and happiness by 'just being ourselves'. He also explores how our minds play tricks on us…
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Research shows that 95% of adults believe they are self-aware, yet only 10-15% actually are. Where do you fit into this equation? Tony delves into the world of emotional intelligence, and how your emotions shape your reactions, and how that can negatively or positively impact your relationships. From personal anecdotes, including a delayed flight a…
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Have you ever wished for a better relationship with your parents? As a parent, do you worry that how you're raising your kids now might make them feel disconnected from you as adults? Where does one start laying the foundation to ensure a healthy parent-child relationship into adulthood? Today, Tony delves deep into these pressing questions, offeri…
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Last Wednesday evening, October 25, 2023, Tony Overbay, LMFT, and Joshua Shea traded text messages as they often do on Wednesday to discuss whether or not they were going to meet virtually early Thursday morning as they continue to work on various projects around their best-selling book, “He’s a Porn Addict Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict A…
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Tony tackles the alarming issue of unhealthy practices in therapy, spurred by a recent news article detailing the unethical behavior of therapist Jody Hildebrandt. The article: “A former client of Jodi Hildebrandt says his family and life were 'destroyed' after she spilled details of his sessions to the Mormon Church” - By Rebecca Cohen https://www…
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