The silly and serious shenanigans of two queer and polyamorous relationship coaches. On this podcast we talk about all things queer and poly from our professional perspective as relationship coaches, our own personal experiences and as partners. If you love our show follow us on TikTok, Instagram or Twitter @queer_and_poly. Thanks for following us and enjoy!
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Pertussis: EXPOSED is developed and funded by Sanofi, and these podcasts are intended for a healthcare professional audience. Pertussis is generally considered to be an infection of childhood – but are adults at risk too? Listen to the “Pertussis: EXPOSED ” podcast series, where world-renowned experts are exploring the global health concern of pertussis infection across all age groups. In the first two episodes, experts will delve into the unanswered questions surrounding pertussis infection ...
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This is a personal episode all around being in relationship with someone who experiences ADHD. What are the challenges? What are the perks? What are the areas of learning available? And what happens when someone's experience of ADHD bumps up against different insecurities and limiting beliefs? We explore all of this in today's episode and offer som…
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58. Don't Talk About It, Be About It: Aligning Your Actions With Your Desires
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We jokingly say this phrase often in our household, "don't talk about it, be about it". And it is our loving and fun way to express when there is a disconnect between what we say we want to do or see happen with the actual actions that are going on. This episode is a deep dive into the misalignment with what we say and we are doing, especially when…
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57. When Your Ex Wants To Get Back Together
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How quickly did you click on this episode because of this enticing topic? We have all had some experience around this - maybe it was your ex reaching out, maybe you were the ex, or maybe it was the ex of your best friend who continues to reach out again and again. It also makes for some dramatic story lines in movies and books so perhaps your mind …
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56. Being Queer And/Or Poly Is Not Enough To Make A Relationship Work
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We're talking about those dating "check boxes" when it comes to finding partners in queer and/or poly spaces! This is something we know from our own experience and something we see A LOT with clients. You meet someone who seems cool and they happen to be queer and poly...obviously that means you should date, right? No. No, it does not. And this is …
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55. Using The Conflict Resolution Triangle In Our Own Relationship (Part 2)
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Here we are at part 2 of last week's episode all on E's creation - the Conflict Resolution Triangle! If you have not yet checked it out, give it a listen (it's a quickie!) so that you have an extra tool for your own relationships! Today we talk about one of our recent moments of conflict/tension in our own relationship and break down the steps of t…
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54. The Conflict Resolution Triangle (Part 1)
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Are you ready to learn a new tool to help navigating conflict be a bit easier? Of course you are! Today is part one of a 2 part series all around the Conflict Resolution Triangle, which E created after seeing trends with clients around their main struggle with conflict in relationships. E breaks down the three parts of the triangle - repair, resolv…
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Update time from our previous episode! Last week, E shared about what was coming up for her around her sexxuality - thoughts, worries, excitement, doubts, insecurities...you name it. This week, E shares about what she is understanding more about herself around being a lesbian, how the conversations have gone that she mentioned last week were needin…
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52. An Existential Crisis With Sexuality
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Ever had an existential crisis with your sexxuality or queerness? In today's episode, we focus solely on E for her latest discovery around herself and it is a juicy exploration. This is what it looks like to be raw and dive into things that you may not yet fully understand about yourself yet, and what a beautiful, vulnerable place. We unpack differ…
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51. Making Your Queer Relationships Your Own
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Happy Pride! Here is the last episode that is part of our Pride series this year and we are focusing all on creating the beautiful queer relationships that you actually want to be in. Let's unravel what limiting beliefs and programming that is blocking you from actually creating the queer relationships that work for you. We talk about some of the l…
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Here we are in our third installment of our queer focused episodes fro Pride month! How has your queerness evolved since you first recognized that you were queer? What have you been resisting around the evolution of your queerness? What have you been growing in curiosity around? We explore these different aspects in ourselves and our individual jou…
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We are continuing on with our celebration of Pride Month with this week's episode all on queer joy! What has queer joy looked and felt like for us over our own evolution? What are the simple moments of queer joy? The larger ones? What makes these moments so impactful and necessary? Queer joy can carry different meanings for each individual, but the…
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48. Relational Patterns And How They Affect Your Queer Expression
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Ooooh happy PRIDE month y'all! For the month of June, we are going to be focusing on topics solely connected to being queer and celebrating those who are members of the alphabet mafia! This first episode of our Pride Month series is all about how our relational patterns often block us from our fullest queer expressions. We dive into the patterns th…
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Unmet expectations in relationships are some of the biggest causes of upset. We have said that as part of a number of episodes, but in this week's episode, we are diving right into the heart of it. This is something we see in our work with clients ALL the time - getting lost in the expectations (whether made known or not), rather than being with th…
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46. Lessons From Therapy - You And Your Partner(s) Will Impact Each Other
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We have LOTS of lessons from therapy, both individual and couples therapy, but in this first round, we go over one of the lessons that clicked for E in a much more embodied way last year. So often we see with clients, and also know from personal experience, that we try with all our might to not impact our partners. We think about all the ways that …
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Got a case of "comparisonitis"? Have no fear, the queer and poly coaches are here! But, seriously, let's talk about comparison in your poly relationships. We dive into what we have seen as common pitfalls in this area from working with our clients, as well as questions to ask yourself to help determined what insecurities may be most common in these…
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44. How To Find Partners In Polyamory
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Okay, so this is not going to be a step-by-step process on how to find partners...but, we will go over what actually works in connecting with people that are actually aligned for you and what you want! This is based on what we have experienced personally in the poly dating space, as well as what we have seen with the clients we coach. On this episo…
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43. Lessons From Another Year Around The Sun (For Us And The Podcast!)
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Happy birthday to us and the Queer & Poly Podcast! It's been a wild ride of a year where we have learned a lot about ourselves and relationships, so we wanted to share some of our insights with you all. Whether it is a lesson from our relationship with ourselves, partners, friends, family, or even emotions, we have some takeaways from this past yea…
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42. Should Polyamory Have A Definitive Definition?
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You know it's a good one when there is a "should" in the title. In this episode, we take some inspiration from a question that came up from a client and explore the pros and cons of there being a definitive definition of polyamory. There are rants, lots of poly terms, and a trip to IKEA made to guide us along this conversation. What are your though…
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41. Green Flags In Queer and Poly Relationships Part 2
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Building from last week, here comes part 2! As you can tell, we could talk for hours on green flags and some of the components to look for in a compatible partner. We explore a little more on NRE, compatibility, the balance of structure and flow in a dynamic, and also have a little treat for you at the end! If you are looking for an extra resource …
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40. Green Flags In Queer and Poly Relationships Part 1
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That's right, this is just part 1! We talked on red flags in the last episode so it was only fitting to go right into green flags. Yes, we identify specific green flags to keep an eye out for in queer and poly relationships, but we also dive a little deeper in the nuances of dating different genders and the expectations that arise there. Li goes on…
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39. Red Flags In Queer and Poly Relationships
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A juicy topic that often brings up a lot of questions from people...red flags in relationships. What are some major red flags, as well as some that are more subtle? How do you address them? We could talk a lot more on this subject (and probably will in future episodes), but today we share about red flags that we have experiences, as well as some th…
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38. Creating Relationships That Foster Self-Expression
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We are building from the last episode (so go check that out if you haven't!) and diving deeper in to the topic of self-expression in relationships. What does it even look like to create relationships that actually have the space to not only have you be fully self-expressed, but also the space for your continued growth and evolution in your self-exp…
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37. Being Fully Self-Expressed In Relationships
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It can be one of the most courageous acts in a relationship...to be fully and completely self-expressed. You are a dynamic being, ever evolving and changing. Do your relationships allow for your expansion of self and is that celebrated? We dive deep into what it means to be fully self-expressed in relationships, as well as the consequences that com…
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36. As I Get More Masc(uline), What I Have To Pay Attention To Is...
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Coming from the perspective of someone assigned female at birth and raised in the societal expectations for a woman, what happens when you become more masculine in your appearance, mannerisms, and place in society? This is a tale from Li's perspective on what they have noticed from their experience in their evolution of self and we also get to hear…
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35. How To Have A Healthy Sex Life If You Sleep With Women
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Let's talk about the s3xy, s3xy in this episode! And specifically in the realm of s3x with women. From having conversations around what s3x is, what actually feels good, change happening and being okay, and what you need to do when you trigger your partner...this is a jam packed episode with lots of goodies. What would you add or change from what w…
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Episode 1: Exploring pertussis infection in all adults
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Pertussis is a highly contagious bacterial infection that is widely considered to be a disease of childhood – but what is the impact of pertussis in the adult population? Host, Liana Clark, meets with leading experts in the field to delve deeper into the impact of pertussis infection in adults and explore how vaccination can protect them against th…
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Episode 2: The nuances of pertussis infection in adults with chronic medical conditions
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Certain adult populations are at increased risk of severe disease from pertussis; however, which adults are more susceptible to severe pertussis disease, and how does pertussis affect these adults? Host, Liana Clark, meets with leading experts in the field to explore the affect of pertussis on adults with existing chronic medical conditions and str…
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Today we dive into a very light topic...unconditional love. We go into what it is to each of us and some of the misconceptions that surrounds this idea. And let's make it clear - unconditional love does not mean unconditional tolerance. Oh yes, we go into it. What does unconditional love mean to you? And what would some ways that you could express …
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33. Myths and Misconceptions About Being Queer
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There are a lot of misconceptions about being queer, and especially about being in a queer relationship! In this episode, Li and E talk and laugh about the biases, assumptions, and silly questions they've encountered after coming out. What misconceptions about being queer have you encountered? Send us a Text Message. Sending you so much love! Love …
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When you hear the word "romance", what do you think about? Flowers, bubble baths, chocolates? We all feel romanced from different experiences, and knowing how your and your partner/s feel romanced is important in your relationships! In this episode, E and Li discuss romance, things that make them feel romanced, and how to incorporate romance into p…
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Dating is tough! While we are all individuals, we are formed by our surroundings, giving us different perspectives on dating and relationships. In this episode, Li gives tips for dating based on their perspective as a lesbian. From the small to the large, these suggestions can uplevel your queer relationships, and any relationship! What tips do you…
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30. How Working Together Supports Our Relationship
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Working with a partner has its ups and downs. Needs for privacy, autonomy, and time alone combined with financial stresses mix with career success and exhilaration. But what if both of you are excellent relationship coaches? In this episode, E and Li focus on how working together has benefited their relationship and grown their love for each other.…
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29. Cycles of Turn Ons and How to Sync Up With Your Partner's Sex Drive
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Sex is a big part of most relationships. It can bring or express closeness and love and be steamy and fun. What about when someone isn't in the mood? That can be difficult for a relationship, especially over time. In this episode, E and Li discuss what can contribute or detract from our natural cycles or states of arousal, and what to do if there i…
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28 What Are BDE and BHE and is it Ruining Sex...For Everyone
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You may have heard of BDE, but have you heard of BHE? Toxic masculinity affects everyone, and when that bleeds into queer relationships, the downsides can be just as problematic. In this episode, E and Li joke and giggle about the silliness of the infamous "Big Dick Energy" or "Big Hand Energy" and how these can be a drag in your sex life, regardle…
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This is the time of year for reflections! Going forward into the next chapter means honoring this one that is just finishing. In this episode, E and Li demonstrate a relationship check in that encompasses the year of 2023 and the successes, challenges, and learning experience they have experienced as a couple. How will you look back at the past yea…
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Breakups suck. What about polyamorous breakups? Can you go to your other partners for support? What if a partner of yours breaks up with someone you disapproved of? In this episode, E and Li talk about lessons they've drawn from past breakups, and what to do if there is no lesson to be learned. What have you learned from breakups in your sphere? Se…
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25. New Relationship Energy, Let's Talk About It
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We all know that feeling when we first start seeing someone new. Butterflies and flutters, tingles, burning, the warm glow when we get a text from them. This New Relationship Energy, or NRE, is fun and useful for bonding, but sometimes it closes our eyes to red flags and potential problems. In this episode E and Li talk in depth about how to manage…
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Breakups suck. Whether it's amicable, mutual, or messy, the grief of losing something you love can really take it out of you. Being in a polyamorous relationship adds new complications. In this episode, Elizabeth and Li talk about skills that you can bring to make breakups more healthy and manageable, including talking about what breakups can look …
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23. What is it Like Growing Up Queer? (Part 2)
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Some people know from an early age that they're different; that they don't fit into the "norms" surrounding them. Li is one of those people. In this episode, Li shares their experiences growing up queer: how they tried to avoid it, how they tried to hide it, and how they tried to reverse it. Did you ever resist your own development because you'd be…
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22. What is it Like Growing Up Queer (Part 1)
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Growing up queer has many challenges. Complicated emotions, lack of understanding, information trickling or bursting in at surprising times. In this episode, Elizabeth shares her experiences growing up queer, and what she wishes she could change or tell her younger self. What challenges did you face in your understanding of your gender and sexualit…
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21. You Know You're Dating a Relationship Nerd When...
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Everyone is a nerd about something. We are nerds about relationships. In this episode, we talk about what it means to be a relationship nerd, what that looks like for each of us, and how that integrates into the relationship we have. Are you dating a relationship nerd? Send us a Text Message. Sending you so much love! Love our show? Please rate and…
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Are you ready for a crash course on gender? Let's go! In this episode, Elizabeth nerds out on gender theory, and Liana shares their insight on fluidity and the journey of gender identity and expression from their own experiences. Full of heartfelt stories and advice to support you in either your own journey, or that of your loved ones. What comes u…
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Sometime discovering your sexuality is straightforward, sometimes it's not! In this episode, we share our own stories of exploring and understanding our sexuality, and talk about the complexities of self-identifying with courage. What surprises have you learned about yourself while exploring your sexuality? Send us a Text Message. Sending you so mu…
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Round two on this juicy topic that even we were surprised we talked so long about. In part two, we go even deeper into what we have learned about ourselves through the lens of our attraction at different points in life. We talk about some of the struggles and challenges that arise when attraction becomes attachment and how we have navigated fluctua…
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What do two relationship coaches look for when starting to date/get to know a new person? We had so much to say about this that we had to break up the episode. We talk about what we individually look for and are attracted to in a potential partner, as well as how that has evolved since we were younger. And don't worry, we go into it even more in pa…
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16. How Being A Relationship Coach Impacts Being In Relationships
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Relationships are our jam. We have been studying and coaching on the topics of love, s3x, and relationships for years, while also navigating our personal relationships. In this episode, we both share about how being relationship coaches have helped us in our own relationships, as well as the challenges that we run into (hello imposter syndrome and …
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What's your relationship to the "work"? Do you dive into personal development work with an eager spirit like a kid in a candy store? Do you feel annoyed and frustrated with it? Do you feel a mixture of it all? Even as relationship coaches who work in the space of the "work", we are not immune to the frustrations that come with the territory. In thi…
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14. Let's Talk About Triggers In Relationships
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We're going in a bit deep on this one. In this episode, we talk about past trauma showing up for you now in relationships and how your triggers will often trigger your partner(s). This is something that we wanted to talk about broadly to just start the conversation and bring awareness to something that often goes unsaid or just gets talked around i…
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Long distance relationships can happen under any relationship style, but this is something that is often more prevalent in polyamorous dynamics, and something that we both receive a lot of questions around. We answer a few of the most common questions we get on this topic like what are the best ways to stay connected and how to create intimacy when…
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On this episode, Elizabeth shares her experience of being a femme queer. From identifying as pansexual, to coming out at 29, to her experience with passing privilege and issues with safety, this episode is a personal account. And we know that there are many people who experience similar things. There are many different intersectionalities and uniqu…
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