Trigger warning: This episode contains stories of racial violence and sexualized racial violence. In this episode we deep dive Purity Culture's origin story, and its connection with America's racial history. Full show notes here. Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter Want to talk about this episode? Join our partners in The Big Debrief on Tuesday Mar…

In this episode we talk about love after divorce as Haverlee shares her story of a marriage breakdown, living alone, dating, and finding new love. It's part of our three part series. You can find the first two episodes here: 142: What If Marriage Doesn't Make You Happy Or Holy? 143: 7 Signs That Your Marriage Can be Saved Partner with us for $3/mon…

There are characteristics and qualities of relationships that lead to better outcomes, and Dr. Camden Morgante joins us to talk about seven of them. If you're concerned about your marriage or have qestions about the person you're dating or engaged to, this episode is for you. Listen to our previous episode to hear more about divorce in the United S…

In this episode we deep dive divorce with journalist Lyz Lenz. We talk about: why it's so hard to tell the truth about difficult marriages how the labor of women sustains western marriage political decisions that could make marriage easier for everyone Follow us on Instagram and Twitter to keep talking. Full show notes here Partner with us for $3/m…

In this episode, Hillary McBride guides us toward how to see our body as a resource, and she gives us practical, free tools to help us reconnect with our bodies. Full show notes here Partner with us for $3/month to hear the full, uncut version of this converation and get episodes of The Jess and Devi Show Hillary L. McBride (PhD, University of Brit…

Are you a subscriber? Have your say about this show in our listener survey! In this episode we dig into the pain points of being unpartnered when everything is getting more expensive. What's the mental load that unpartnered women carry about housing and job security? And what can people do that helps? Connect with us on Instagram and Twitter Partne…

In this episode our co-founder Jessica Van Der Wyngaard tells us the bittersweet news that she's stepping down as co-host of the show and why it's the right time to go. Partner with us to hear Purity Culture News & Views next week, plus a fun Christmas rom com recap later in December. Are you in Melbourne? Join Sheila Gregoire and Devi at St. Silas…

In this episode we explore what it means to lose our faith and community because our beliefs, or sometimes our very selves, put us at odds with the expectations of others. Can there still be a spiritual home on the other side? Plus there's a special announcement about a new book club featuring Holy Runaways. DM @wheredowegopod to get Keara's email …

Andy Stanley's megachurch, North Point, held a conference to equip parents of LGBTQ+ youth and young adults to love and accept their kids, and soon after conservative gatekeepers accused Stanley of abandoning historic Christian doctrine. This episode discusses North Point's method and asks the question: Is it a blueprint for churches to follow? We …

Annie Parsons is having a baby, and she's an unpartnered, 41-year-old woman in middle America who grew up in Purity Culture. Yes, we have questions. Her answers tell a complex, beautiful story about what it's like to gain agency, build community, and the dare to hope for a miracle. We talk about: ditching dating and pursuing motherhood "insurance a…

Anna McGahan is an Australian actress and storyteller who found God in the most radical of ways. Baptised into the Pentecostal tradition, she gave up everything to follow Jesus only to find that life in the church wasn't quite what it seemed. In this episode we discuss: meeting God and meeting the church, it's not the same finding agency in celibac…

The evangelical message for girls was all about virginity, naivete, and silence, and millenial women are paying the price for it. "She Deserves Better" gets into what went wrong but also gives us a playbook for how to do better. We talk about: the impact of modesty teaching what happens when girls are told they talk too much the importance of sex e…

We're mixing faith and friskiness and spilling divine secrets on tasteful toys. Get ready to bless your bedside drawer with a touch of sex-educator-approved delights. Dr. Celeste Holbrook is back with the the quality sex education we need after purity culture life. Partner with us to hear our thoughts on the Barbie movie, plus you'll get a ticket t…

Purity Culture graduates left the movement with our feet stuck to chewed up gum, our fingers locked into purity rings, and our hearts (supposedly) irreparably broken. But these were images and metaphors given to us by an evangelicalism broken by its own damaged stories, images, and metaphors. This episode gets into what went wrong, and how we can s…

While "Sound of Freedom" rakes in the profits in the US box office, there are still children in exploitative circumstances. Are search and rescue missions the most effective way of rehabilitating them? We bring you a Christian anti-trafficking expert who has seen the harmful impacts of well-intentioned evangelicals and knows that there's a better w…

"Christians need to face the truth of who we are." That's what Professor Iwan Russell-Jones told us, and it's why we took a hard look at Hillsong through the FX/Hulu docuseries "The Secrets of Hillsong." In this episode we talk about church as the show and what it is costing us. We also talk about: the docuseries as Carl Lentz's redemption vehicle …

Trigger Warning: This is a conversation about Frank Houston's three-decade history of sexually abusing children, and there are many references to the subject. Please proceed with caution if this topic is triggering for you. There are resources in the show notes about healing after trauma. Frank Houston was a serial sexual abuser of children, but he…

We dive deep into the shocking downfall of Carl Lentz, former pastor of Hillsong New York, and ask questions about the supposedly eye-opening revelations from "The Secrets of Hillsong" documentary. A former member of Hillsong NYC joins us to uncover what the documentary misses, the culture of celebrity pastors, and the consequences of blind faith i…

What is true about the global megachurch Hillsong? There's a new docuseries out from Vanity Fair and FX trying to get to it. But do they get it right? Starting this week Jess and Devi recap the episodes for those of you in Australia who can't watch it yet and for those of you in the US who need a debrief. We've got you. Full show notes here Want mo…

Trigger Warning: This episode contains references to spiritual, religious, and sexual abuse. Please proceed with caution. What do we do when a spiritual hero is accused of abusive practices? Jess and Devi were both impacted by Soul Survivor founder, the Rev Canon Mike Pilavachi, and in this raw and real episode, they process the recent news about t…

At some point in childhood you first learnt about sex. This might have been in the form of "the sex talk" from your parents. Or you might have heard it elsewhere. In this episode we reflect on that sex talk from parents and from a parent and child's perspective. Join Jessica and her mum Caren for this special discussion between a mother and daughte…

Ever wonder what it's like to gather with a group of strangers to talk about purity culture? Our partners get to experience it every month in The Big Debrief. And now you get to listen in. In this episode you get a taste of the warmth, wisdom, and fun that's in our monthly zoom conversations. Join us this month on April 27 (in the US) at 9pm EST an…

Join us for an insightful discussion with Laura Tremaine, author of The Life Council, as we explore the challenges of making and keeping friends in adulthood. From busy schedules to changes in life stage, we uncover the top reasons why building meaningful connections as grown-ups can be tough, and share practical tips to overcome them. Full show no…

In this episode for our partners, we delve into the ups and downs of Bridget Jones' Diary. From its charming wit and relatable protagonist to its problematic themes, fat phobia, and single-shaming, we take a critical look at this iconic piece of chick-lit and explore its lasting impact on pop culture and female representation. Want to hear the rest…

We delve into the world of Evangelical parenting with journalist Bekah McNeel. From perfectionism to purity culture, we uncover the the impact of Evangelical parenting on children's emotional, mental, and spiritual development. This is a sneak peak but you can listen to the full conversation when you partner with us for $3/month (USD). You'll also …

Trigger warning: this episode contains a short discussion of childhood sexual abuse. Please proceed with caution. Purity Culture was bad for men, too. In this episode Zachary Wagner joins us to share his story combined with his theological study on how to build a non-toxic masculinity. We discuss: how purity culture dehumanized men growing up from …

This episode is for all the people who were told your virginity was the most important thing about you. In this episode, we get into the meaning of virginity to evangelicals, the history, what we were told the Bible says, what the Bible actually says, and of course, we talk about where we can go from here. Full show notes here Join us for $3/month …

In this partner-only episode, we're dusting off our VHS tapes (or maybe just streaming it online) and rewatching the classic rom-com, Sleepless in Seattle. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan stole our hearts in this movie over 25 years ago, but how does it hold up in 2023? Is it still as charming and romantic as we remember, or does it feel dated and cheesy? G…

If you thought bad evangelical sex books were a thing of the 80s and 90s, guess again. Last week The Gospel Coalition lit the interwebs on fire by publishing an excerpt from an upcoming book by one of their (now former) fellows. This conversation untangles the sloppy reading of Ephesians 5, disturbing Roman Catholic roots, and what happens when we …

Ready to take center stage? In this episode, we dissect the problems with the 2000 cult classic dance movie, Center Stage. From unrealistic depictions of relationships to cringe-worthy dialogue, we'll break down the issues with this beloved flick. Join us for an entertaining critique of one of the most iconic dance movies of all time. Only partners…

Jess and Devi look back at their teenage years and wonder what if... we hadn't kissed dating goodbye. We talk about: what it's like to not get asked out our first dates regrets wisdom we learned along the way what YOU would tell your younger self about dating Full show notes here (so many links about dating and app dating) Follow us on Instagram an…

Kendall Vanderslice is with us to talk about her upcoming book By Bread Alone, and this conversation is all about hunger, and the way our physical hunger for food mirrors sexuality, the distortion in our culture (and Christian culture) around hunger and women. This episode is exclusively for partners, but you get to hear a sneak peak today. Get the…

This is for anyone who feels like they don't belong in church or among white evangelicals. Journalist Sara Billups traces the question - "How did we get here?" - by looking at the impact of the culture wars and consumerism on a generation of white evangelicals. And she helps us take steps home. We talk about what is an orphaned believer and how did…

"Clueless" is the romcom that started the flood of high school coming of age movies in the 90s and early 00s, but what do we think about it today? You get a sneak peak of what our partners get to hear this week. To hear the rest, join us for $3/month! It'll get you a ticket to our monthly zoom call next week on Tuesday at 9pm EST and Wednesday 1pm …

You get to hear a sneak peak of our conversation about Prince Harry's first time - what's the difference between how our culture talks about the first sexual experiences of men and women? SPOILER - we think there's a difference. Want to hear the full conversation? Join our partners in patreon to hear about low libido after babies, plus all of Jess'…

Jess and Devi are finishing 2022 out with some big announcements about what's next for the show! Plus we also discuss: changes in opinion about gay marriage evangelicals' favorite heresies and why purity culture "helps" "Harry & Meghan" - is it a documentary or PR? We have a lot of thoughts Full show notes here Partner with us to hear our take on "…

Christmas is almost here, and we think it's a perfect time to think about a woman's body and the story it tells about who God is. If God could occupy a woman's body for nine months before Jesus' birth, maybe we can begin to untangle what this might mean for our lives today. Dr. Christy Bauman joins us to talk womb theology and manger theology - it'…

What do you do when your child comes out? What are the next steps? This is for any parent regardless of what you believe; this episode will give you the tools you need to create a nurturing environment for your children so that they know they are safe and unconditionally loved. We discuss: being safe early what to say when your child says, "I'm gay…

A sex educator is in the house, and she's taking us back to school for the education most of us never got. Erica Smith founded the Purity Culture Dropout™️ Program to equip people like us with information and education that is "accurate, queer inclusive, trauma informed, compassionate, and comprehensive." We discuss: why sex education is more than …

It's no secret - the people who designed purity culture inteded it to benefit white, male, and straight people. What was unsaid was that purity culture was also about a kind of body, a body that had all the standard abilities. Dr. Amy Kenny disrupts the story with her life and work as a disability justice scholar and advocate. Could it be we've mis…

Embodiment is a popular buzz word in therapy and spirituality circles, but does it have something for Christians and those coming out of a Christian background? Dr. Hillary McBride joins us to figure it out. We discuss: the impact of purity culture on embodiment what embodiment is how God is embodied in Jesus and what that means for us high control…

This episode is for any Christian who wonders how many more ministry leaders we have to see fall from grace in the headlines. Katelyn Beaty uncovers the love for celebrity at the heart of our churches and ministry, and she has thoughts about how to overcome it. We discuss: why Christians love celebrities the difference between how men and women use…

What does it mean to have a congruent life after purity culture? Therapy can help us get there, and Dr. Camden Morgante joins us to talk about how. We discuss: the impact of black and white thinking the benefits of mindfulness the long road of recovery Plus listen all the way to the end for a special high-dollar giveaway for those of you who want p…

Therapy after Purity Culture - have you been on the fence about it? We're here to convince you to give it a try. We know that purity culture can be experienced as a trauma, and therapist Jamie Williams is here to talk to us about: the impact of rigid thinking on our minds what happens when our bodies feel unsafe in religious spaces how to spot dysf…

What do you wish you could say out loud about abortion? We get into it in this huge episode. There's a lot of yelling on both sides of the abortion conversation; we try to cut through the noise and double down on the parts of the abortion topic that Christians tend to ignore. What abortion and purity culture have to do with each other Christians an…

Purity Culture was full of pseudo-theologies, and we get into one of them here: the Soul Tie. The idea that premarital sex forms a connection in the heavenlies, one that maybe can be broken, but also maybe not. Candice Marie Benbow joins us to talk Red Lip Theology, soul ties, sexuality, why she doesn't use the Bible to form her sexual ethics, and …

After #MeToo exploded on to the scene, it seemed like the dating landscape for women changed. Consent is a necessary floor, but what is the ceiling for our relationships? Is consent enough to provide the meaning sex might have in our lives? This is the provocative territory Christine Emba's new book Rethinking Sex invites us into. Listen in to see …

Jess sits down with a 30-something single friend, Emily, who is a convert to the world of app dating. Together, they share from their experiences dating via a variety of dating apps, talk red flags and share some advise. They look at 5 myths of app dating... is it safe? Are people lying to you? Lastly, how has COVID changed how app dating looks? Em…

Trigger Warning: This episode contains references to grooming and sexual assault. Purity Culture is part of the reason why our secular and religious culture's still don't know what to do with abuse. We are so many years out from #MeToo and #ChurchToo but current events tell us we are not learning our lessons. Today we look at the grooming in the be…

If you believed your body was unsafe, the source of sin, what caused others to stumble, this episode is for you. With kindness and clarity, KJ Ramsey leads us back to a God who made us for safety. In this episode we learn that: there is no division between our minds and our bodies your body is the place where God personally resides it is impossible…