Best DrRobyn Podcasts (2023)

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How did you learn to advocate for yourself? 9:59

1h ago9:59

9:59

Lisa McDonald started us off strong: “It’s not boasting. It’s telling your story.” She learned to advocate for herself by getting out of an abusive relationship. She suggests rather than saying, “I'm great in this” say, “here's how I serve someone else.” This is self-advocating because as you're demonstrating how your value impacts other people. Gl…

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What do you do if you have to work with someone who isn’t doing their job? 9:59

8h ago9:59

9:59

In this conversation it was clear that we had very different life experiences. How you answer this question differs depending on whether you are in academia, the military or the business world. Wayne Buckhanan started us off by saying if you are stuck under someone not doing their job, you match their level of incompetence. It it’s a peer, box them…

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How do you recognize a needy client/boss before you start working with them? 10:00

9h ago10:00

10:00

Kevin Wash started us off with a story that too many of us had experienced. He was asked for a proposal and the potential client kept coming back to him for more information and in the end, they decided they had enough to just do it themselves and not pay him. (Further into the conversation he said, “Needy means greedy” and that sums it up well.) I…

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How do you handle it if someone says they will do something and they don’t? 9:58

1h ago9:58

9:58

All three of the panelists started by saying they try to be curious first. What else is going on in the person’s life that they aren’t able to do the thing they said they would? What support might they need? How can we bring this person around so they can do the thing? Try to meet people where they are. There is also something to be said for the re…

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How would you know if you were part of a clique? 10:00

6h ago10:00

10:00

Fallon Siniscarco started us off by talking about how cliques can make someone feel like they are superior or better than other people. Kim Clark went next talking about cliques in the workplace and how the use of acronyms and are jargon that outsiders don’t understand could be a way to notice you’re in a clique. Stewart Wiggins then asked a provoc…

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How do you decide how much of who you are personally you share in your business? 9:58

2h ago9:58

9:58

When I first started my business, I thought I had to be uber professional. I shared almost nothing about me, my life or my story with clients or potential clients. But it felt very sterile and it didn’t make people feel safe or like they could trust me. Now I am more open and share stories about my past but nothing about what is going on now becaus…

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What is your conflict resolution style when does it serve you well and when is it not ideal? 9:59

6h ago9:59

9:59

This is an interesting question to ask when I do communication and conflict resolution workshops because most people have never thought about their conflict style per se. Fortunately, my panelists were able to articulate their styles. Brandon Mahoney started us off by sharing that his style has evolved over time (mind has too – a lot!) and he has s…

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How do you deal with conflict involving multiple people? 9:58

9d ago9:58

9:58

This conversation was WAY harder than I expected it to be. We have all be in many situations where there was a conflict involved several people. But the only real helpful solution is to be proactive. Todd Karges brought it up towards the middle of the discussion. You have to have an upfront agreement (I call it a Team Communication Fingerprint) so …

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As a thought leader, how do you best benefit from the knowledge you put into the world? 9:58

3h ago9:58

9:58

Racquelle Pakutz started us off with the warm fuzzies of feeling good about putting good into the world. Being a heartfelt leader, she believes it comes back to her. She added the concrete benefit of growing her network. Jim Tam stepped up next to say the benefit he gets for his thought leadership, particularly on LinkedIn, is that people either va…

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When does being kind become sugarcoating? 9:59

5h ago9:59

9:59

Dina Perreault started us off by putting a stake in the sand saying that she sees sugarcoating as misleading, potentially manipulative and condescending. She would much rather you come right out and say exactly what you need to say. Be diplomatic, sure. But sugar coating only belongs on a doughnut. Don Gleason quoted Dave Ramsey, “To be unclear is …

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What makes a group a clique? 9:58

6h ago9:58

9:58

Of course, any conversation about cliques has to have a reference to the movie Mean Girls and that is how this conversation started. But, as we explained further into the conversation, cliques aren’t just about women/girls. Cliques are a human condition. Elissa Hecker started us off by saying that cliques is a derogatory term and that they are excl…

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How do you tell if you’re being fished into being vulnerable so they can use it against you? 9:58

1h ago9:58

9:58

It is a common narcissistic trait – they get you to trust them so you will feel comfortable sharing your deepest stories and even trauma with them. Then they use that information against you. I have personal experience with this as my ex-husband was the king of this technique. Something I didn’t think to mention during the conversation, if someone …

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How to talk about being good at something without sounding like you are bragging? 9:59

2h ago9:59

9:59

The two panelists started this conversation on opposite sides of the spectrum. Kevin Wash gave the example of a heart surgeon – you want them to be really good at what they do and be super confident in their skills. He further pointed out that with his work, his clients should know within seven working days if he can back up his swagger with action…

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If someone has a problem with you, what is the best way to address it? 9:59

2h ago9:59

9:59

When I asked this question, I didn’t think about all the different situation where it could apply; online, family, friends, coworkers, boss, peer, employees, colleagues – the list goes on. And each relationship makes the answer to this question a little bit different. How much do you care about the person who has the problem? Some random keyboard v…

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How do you handle it when you feel like you ALWAYS have to be the bigger person? 9:58

20d ago9:58

9:58

I realized over the course of this conversation that it is never about me wanting to slide down to someone else’s level of behavior. Instead it is about wanting them to come up and join me on the high road. (I shared a personal story about that during the discussion. Stewart Wiggins brought it up first and we all agreed, letting go of an argument i…

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How do you stop someone from toxic dumping on you? 9:56

4h ago9:56

9:56

There always seems to be that one person for whom life is absolutely horrible and getting worse and they can’t wait to tell you all about it and drag you down the road of misery with them. Bonnie Sussman-Versace started us off by sharing that she used to be that person and it took someone pulling her aside and saying, “Hey do you realize…” before s…

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How do you handle gossip when it’s about you? 10:02

2h ago10:02

10:02

I’ve noticed that I have recently done several Quick Hits about things that I thought would go away when I graduated from high school – bullying, peer pressure and today, gossip. But sadly, they are alive and well in the adult world. During this discussion Simon Coles and I talked specifically about the Better Conversations course. You can learn mo…

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How do you disagree without being disagreeable? 9:58

8d ago9:58

9:58

The panelists in this discussion provided some really good, personally tested ideas for disagreeing. Brandon Mahoney started us strong by suggesting that sharing that he has found it useful to provide some context and reason behind why he is disagreeing rather than just drawing a line in the sand and walking away. Iris Culp shared some wisdom from …

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How do you call out inappropriate behavior without shaming someone? 9:57

1d ago9:57

9:57

Philip Tate started us with a story from his agency days where the big boss made an inappropriate comment to someone. Philip brought the meeting to a quick close. But then, rather than calling the boss out he called him in. Meaning he had a conversation with him in private and explained why hie behavior was inappropriate. Fortunately, the boss was …

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How much and in what way do you think how someone looks effects their success? 9:59

27d ago9:59

9:59

Dr Jesse Carrie shared that when he was in grad school, he used to wear Hawaiian shirts. He stood out but maybe wasn’t taken as seriously as he could have been. He noticed when he got out of school and could afford better clothing, he was taken more seriously. Laura Agafitei agreed. Saying that she is quite tall for a woman (5’11”) and that she oft…

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What causes an organization to have a toxic culture, even when they say all the right words? 10:00

28d ago10:00

10:00

Todd Karges suggested that it could be that they do have “values” to treat people well but that doing that conflict with their other value to make as much money as possible. (He was not suggesting that as an excuse to treat people poorly.) Brandon Mahoney said what many of us were thinking – the values on the website are just there to make the comp…

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What do you do if the kindest thing to do is lie? 9:59

29d ago9:59

9:59

Oh man this conversation got spicy. Lauren Schieffer started us off with no hold barred – “You tell the truth.” From a marketing and PR perspective Rick Alcantara agreed. And as Kevin Wash pointed out, if you tell the truth, you never have to try and remember who you told what. But, does the truth mean airing people’s dirty laundry? Kevin Wash shar…

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How do you create cooperation when there is no personal motivation to do so? 9:58

1M ago9:58

9:58

This conversation started out being about #cooperation but we ended up talking about #leadership. Anyone who gets a group of people to cooperate is a leader, whether they have a title or not. Simon Coles started us off by saying they you have to appeal to people’s self-interest. Asking for altruism isn’t going to get you far. If you’ve listened to …

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How do you respond when you feel awkward about someone being impressed by you? 10:02

1M ago10:02

10:02

Towards the end of this conversation I wondered what it might be like if you just said, “I feel awkward” in an “aww shucks” kind of way when someone complimented you. Well, I tried it and it was a fail. The person who complimented me then went on for a full minute about why it was reasonable for her to be impressed by me. Then I felt even more awkw…

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What is humility and how do you keep it from holding you back? 9:59

12d ago9:59

9:59

Is it only possible for people who already have power or already have a name to be humble? Being humble might just mean no one ever knows how good you are because if you aren’t talking about it no one else is either. Coach MJ Tolan talked about how humility is really important for leaders. But what does it mean to be humble? Lise McDonald pointed o…

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How did you learn to stand up to peer pressure? 9:58

13d ago9:58

9:58

Jim Tam started this question off by saying it depends on how important the thing is. The difference between eating at one fast food burger place versus another? Likely not worth the effort. But if it is about having a drink during dry January, that is more important. Christina Kelley is a fan of having an exit strategy. Know before you get into a …

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What does it mean to actively look for good luck? 9:58

1M ago9:58

9:58

We had a difference of opinions on the panel for this conversation and we might have had the best realization after we turned off the recording: Luck is comparative. And whether you think you have good luck or bad luck depends on who you are comparing yourself to. Brandon Mahoney started us off by saying you can’t look for good luck but you can be …

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What makes something greedy? 10:02

1M ago10:02

10:02

We covered a lot of ground in this conversation. Does greed require someone taking something someone else needs? Can greed be victimless? Is it wanting something for nothing or simply having more than you can use? Brittany Wilson started us off by saying it depended on the context and that she thought it required that you be harming someone else. T…

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What makes something “small talk” versus having a conversation? 10:02

1M ago10:02

10:02

Lisa McDonald started us off with the metaphor that small talk is an appetizer while a conversation in the main meal. Bonnie Sussman-Versace agreed and suggested that small talk is a way to keep people at a distance. “I don’t know you so I’m not going to share anything important with you.” Atif Agha had a bit of a different take saying he feels lik…

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What is the best way to appreciate someone so that it comes across as authentic? 9:59

1M ago9:59

9:59

We started with Jeff Glauser giving us three great tips: Be specific Pay attention to your nonverbal communication Be consistent Chelle Shapiro chimed in by warning about the compliment sandwich and how it can come across as backhanded and inauthentic to tuck criticism in with praise. Be Justin Dorsey works in the HR space it was great to have him …

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What is the difference between being anxious and being alert and focused? 10:00

1M ago10:00

10:00

Brandon started us off by saying he can choose to be alert and focused. He doesn’t get to choose if he is anxious or not. Rabbi Yonason Goldson reminded us that anxiety and excitement manifest exactly the same way physiologically. (That is not to suggest that if you are having a panic attack it feels the same as being overly excited.) Alexi Bracey …

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How did you figure out your niche/audience? 10:59

1M ago10:59

10:59

For the first time in about 450 episodes, this conversation is so good and I believe so important, I decided not to cut it down to the usual ten minutes. There is some advice you have likely heard and needs to be repeated. Rob Upchurch reminded us to sell to a person, not a huge demographic. I added that having a psychographic (a type of person I w…

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What is the difference between giving someone feedback, calling them out and scolding them? 9:58

1M ago9:58

9:58

Catherine Navarro opened with a great point – it can only be feedback if you asked if someone wants feedback and got their consent before giving it to them. Unsolicited feedback fits better into the category of calling someone out. Elissa Hecker added that scolding is never appropriate between adults. Scolding someone is meant to demean or embarras…

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What is the difference between feeling remorse and feeling guilty? 9:57

2M ago9:57

9:57

We realized deep into the conversation that guilt has several meanings. In the court of law, you can be guilty. That is different than feeling guilty. And different still from using guilt to manipulate someone into doing something. At the start of the conversation Lori Donofrio-Galley suggested that remorse comes with empathy and the desire to chan…

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How do you tell if you are good at something? 9:57

2M ago9:57

9:57

Gary Fredericks stared us off by saying that you are likely good at something if you enjoy it and other people ask you to do it. (I’m not sure. That could just mean they don’t want to do it.) A little further into the conversation Steward Wiggins asked, “who decides what good is?” A valid question certainly. Atif Agha provided a great place to star…

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How do you empathize with someone when you don’t have anything in common? 10:00

2M ago10:00

10:00

Dr Cole Galloway started us off by pointing out that we have more in common with each other than we don’t have. Humans at the DNA level are all but identical. (I heard somewhere that if aliens looked at us, they wouldn’t be able to tell us apart, much like all ants look the same to us.) Then Kevin Wash took it in a direction I didn’t consider when …

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Is it possible to be overdressed in a professional environment? 9:58

2M ago9:58

9:58

The easy answer is yes. If you show up in a tux or a cocktail dress there will be questions. But there are much more subtle issues. Brandon Mahoney shared a story about being promoted and then wearing suits like the VPs; which alienated him from the people he was supposed to be managing. When he went back to dressing like his team, in jeans and t-s…

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What is kindness? 9:58

2M ago9:58

9:58

Jim Lee started us off with a really strong foundation: “Kindness is really about thinking, feeling acting and speaking with the emotional well-being of others in mind.” Daisy Cedeño added that it is about caring, taking your time with the person in front of you and later in the conversation she shared a story about trying to be kind to someone and…

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How would you notice if your routine is becoming an obsession? 9:53

2M ago9:53

9:53

Having a routine is a good thing. It makes sure you do all the important things. There are books about how to create atomic habits. Joey Robert Parks shared about how he HAS to be obsessed with making sure his morning happens just so or his whole day goes off the rails. Amanda Bolos and I talked a little bit about how you might know you’re taking s…

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Do you think bullies at work are aware they are bullies? 10:00

2M ago10:00

10:00

It is hard to put ourselves in the shoes of someone else and that is what I’m asking the panelists to do with this question. I didn’t share this story during the conversation but I think it is relevant: When I was in junior high there was a group of four of us; me, my brother just younger than me and our two best friends, who always knew the answer…

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What does “communication” actually mean? 10:03

2M ago10:03

10:03

“They didn’t communicate well.” “We need to get better at communication.” “Send a communication.” “There was a lack of communication.” The word gets tossed around A LOT. You can bet it will be part of the problem anytime something goes wrong. It seems like it should be pretty clear what it means. But are we all reading the same playbook? The short …

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What are the benefits/risks of a leader putting their employees ahead of their customers? 10:01

2M ago10:01

10:01

This conversation was not at all about what I thought it would be. We started off with Rick Alcantara saying he believes the only way to be successful is for leaders to put their employees first. Strong start. I agree. You’ve likely heard me say that it is a problem when companies expect their employees to treat the customers better than they (the …

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How do you tell the difference between being agile/adapting and blowing up a plan just to chase something new/shiny? 10:02

2M ago10:02

10:02

The term “agile” gets thrown around in the business world like it is the be-all and end-all to all things. But I and each of my panelists have seen chasing squirrels or shiny objects bring a project and even a business crashing down. The things that came out of this conversation Make sure you know where you are going to begin with. If you don’t hav…

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What do you do when you feel intimidated? 10:04

2M ago10:04

10:04

Glady Baradaran started us off by pointing out there are two ways to feel intimidated. One is – this person is so awesome and I want to learn from them. This feels positive even though it’s a bit overwhelming. (Like when I met Joe Montana and was so fan-girl I couldn’t even say hi.) The second is when someone acts like they are better than you and …

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How do you handle someone crying at work? 10:05

2M ago10:05

10:05

Racquelle Pakutz started us off by sharing that she is an empathic leader. Because she has employees who are young and may have a lot going on in their lives, her first instinct is to try to figure out what is going on and if she can help them. Atif Agha added that his is always happy to listen and perhaps get the person’s manager involved, particu…

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How do you keep your composure in stressful, public situations? 9:56

2M ago9:56

9:56

There were some amazing tips in this conversation. Dr Bob Choat started this conversation by sharing a tactical breathing technique. Which I did not realize was the same thing as box breathing. Breathe in for a count of four. Hold for a count of four. Breathe out for a count of four. Hold for a count of four. Repeat. Then Kali Regan took us straigh…

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How do you respond when someone “jokes” in an inappropriate way? 10:07

2M ago10:07

10:07

This might be a hot button topic. In the time between when we recorded this and posting it, I had a situation where I did call someone out. Not for an inappropriate joke exactly but for using a slur to “jokingly” insult someone. Frank Galindo, Paula Jenkins and Dr Cole Galloway had this really tough conversation with me. Listening back to it, I wis…

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Is the pressure to “act like a man” a real thing and where does it come from? 10:03

2M ago10:03

10:03

This was a tough conversation. I’m very thankful these three guys were brave enough to have it on the record with me. The one thing they all agreed on is that there is certainly societal pressure to “act like a man.” But Brandon Mahoney pointed out that there is also this idea of “toxic masculinity” to be avoided. (Which makes me wonder if the mess…

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When is venting productive and how do you tell when it becomes a negative spiral? 10:01

2M ago10:01

10:01

There have been some studies that have suggested that venting – the idea of releasing emotion by talking about something – is a fallacy. In my experience I have certainly seen people wind themselves up as well as get the emotion out by talking through something. I wondered how other people thought about venting so I asked Bonnie Versace, Steward Wi…

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How do you overcome self-doubt? 10:01

2M ago10:01

10:01

Self-doubt can be a significant obstacle in personal and professional growth, but overcoming it can lead to great success. In this conversation, we discussed how we have worked through or around self-doubt. The turning point is when we realize that we are in control and can overcome obstacles. Jim Tam suggested that self-doubt might come from setti…

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