JFI Online's Pop Parenting with Avrum Nadigel and Ellie Bass is a romp through some of the most iconic movies of the last four decades, and using them to dissect, discuss and optimize relationships and family dynamics while drinking a lot of coffee and waxing poetic about our favourite bands. Avrum Nadigel is an author and therapist who uses Bowen Family Systems to understand how families work. Ellie Bass is a Personal Coach and Wellness Guide and the director of the Jewish Family Institute.
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Charlie and The Chocolate Factory: Are Parents Really the Culprit?
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S2 Ep15: In this episode Avrum and Ellie talk about the movie Charlie and The Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp. This movie is a feast for themes on parenting, but we focus on fault. Is it totally the parents fault when kids behave badly? How much are parents really to blame for how their kids turn out? PLEASE NOTE! We are about to change the focu…
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Little Miss Sunshine: Families Living in a Fantasy World and How Reality Bites
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In this episode Avrum and Ellie talk about the movie Little Miss Sunshine and the idea of what happens when fantasy is the only coping mechanism in a family, and how if even one person decides to get real and grow up, that can help change an entire system, be it a family, community or nation. Click here to check out Avrum's new book "Where Would Yo…
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Igby Goes Down: The Consequences of Family Secrets
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S2 Ep13: This episode Avrum and Ellie watched Igby Goes Down, a dark, tragic movie that explores the tangled web of family secrets, and how they can both protect and destroy a family from the inside. Aside from Ellie’s deep dislike of the characters, we are looking at themes around marital infidelity, being on the inside of a secret and how to reco…
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The Family Stone: Theory of Displacement and Families We Hate
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This week Avrum and Ellie are digging into The Family Stone. An annoying film with a ton of great themes about family dynamics, they are kibbitzing about displacement, being in reality, family secrets, and allowing for small moments of grief and change. Click here to check out Avrum's new book "Where Would You Like To Start?" Click here to learn mo…
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Something's Gotta Give: The Crucible of Commitment and Chest Pains
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S2 Ep11: This week Avrum and Ellie are exploring the movie Something’s Gotta Give with Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton. This film brings up issues around chronically anxious families and the deep roots of non-connection, and the crucible of commitment. We delve into actors playing roles that reflect their lives, and how physical pain can express em…
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Up In the Air: George Clooney, Backpacks and Marital Affairs
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S2 Ep10: This 2009 movie starring George Clooney and Anna Kendrick is a meditation and exploration of who we are and what we do. In this episode Avrum and Ellie explore the idea of "functional self" vs "core self" and whether our life covenants and laws have been updated to fit with our current circumstances, and how that affects our parenting and …
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Lost In Translation: How are Bob's kids and Is Charlotte Part of the Problem?
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S2 Ep9: Sofia Coppola's movie Lost In Translation is filled with the coolest soundtrack, a stellar cast (Bill Murray is incredible as always) and the moody questioning of life that moves us all into a new frame of mind. This movie propels Avrum and Ellie to ask about whether kids really are affected by the absence of a parent, whether teens are rea…
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Almost Famous: Pseudo Self Vs Solid Self and The Transformative Power of Music
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S2 Ep8: Almost Famous is now 20 years old and being celebrated again as one of director Cameron Crowes best films of all time. Sweet, deep, real and lovely, this film is a favourite of music lovers and rock gods. Avrum and Ellie dive into discussions around who we really think we are versus who we are, the importance of right distance as parents to…
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Winter's Bone: Blood, Kin and the Strength of Burden
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Winter's Bone is a sparse haunting film starring Jennifer Lawrence and Avrum and Ellie take a journey through this moving film and discuss dealing with the harsh realities of life, the essential power of family and when is "toxic" really toxic? Click here to check out Avrum's new book "Where Would You Like To Start?" Click here to learn more about …
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The Namesake: Cultural Difference and Emotional Growth
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S2 Ep6: The 2006 Mira Nair film The Namesake is a beautiful film about love, marriage, families and creating your life. Avrum and Ellie use this film to delve into parents hopes for their kids, raising teens and the implications of deep cultural ties to a modern life. Click here to check out Avrum's new book "Where Would You Like To Start?" Click h…
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Napoleon Dynamite: Friendship, True Selves and Mirrors
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Ellie was forced to watch Napoleon Dynamite this week, but ended up really digging what there is to learn from it about friendship, differentiation of self and how longing for the past can make a mess of your present. Avrum feels vindicated. Click here to check out Avrum's new book "Where Would You Like To Start?" Click here to learn more about The…
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Mean Girls: Internality and Externality, Mother Daughter Fusion and Burn Books
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S2 Ep 5: This week Avrum and Ellie are exploring the movie Mean Girls. The 2004 cult classic is a hilarious look at teens, queen bees and how to topple the popularity system. This movie gets us talking about what we focus on and value in our families, and how that impacts the next generation, and how mothers and teen daughters can be a complicated …
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The Royal Tenenbaums: Emotional Shockwaves in Families and How We Cope
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The Royal Tenenbaums is one of our favourites so far, so many juicy family dynamics, but we are focusing on the emotional shockwave when Chaz, played by Ben Stiller, loses his wife to a tragic accident, and how he copes or doesn't, and how we are all looking for ways to manage sudden change and Avrum and Ellie point to some powerful ideas to help u…
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High Fidelity: No Relationship Will Fix You
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This week Avrum and Ellie are exploring the movie High Fidelity. A musical masterpiece and superfun trip through relationship dissection and the realization that getting the love you want won't come from other people. Click here to check out Avrum's new book "Where Would You Like To Start?" Click here to learn more about Avrum's practice Click here…
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S2 Ep2: This week Avrum and Ellie are diving into the Oscar winning movie Gladiator. Rife with family dysfunction, the tragedy of Commodus the Emperor and Maximus the Gladiator leads us down a path to be able to discuss fathers and son, how birth order, and family history can conspire to put so much pressure on a child that they break, and how we c…
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S2 Ep1: We are looking at the movie Traffic as a door into the world of drugs, addiction and symptoms of family illness. For more information on Avrum Nadigel, MSW and his books and resources, or to join his newsletter go here: www.nadigel.com For more infomation on Ellie Bass go here: www.elliebass.com For more information on The Jewish Family Ins…
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This is the beginning of Season 2... stay tuned for more full episodes now with movies from the 2000s. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/popparenting/message
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Contact: Little Green Men and Societal Regression
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Contact is a movie that asks big questions. This week Avrum and Ellie are using it to explore how anxious societies deal with uncertainty, and how that plays out in families, and how our experience with our own parents influences our present relationships. Click here to check out Avrum's new book "Where Would You Like To Start?" Click here to learn…
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The Outsiders: Family Loss, Surrogate Care and the Need for Support
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Ep 29: The Outsiders was a Coppola film based on the book by S.E. Hinton and stacked with a breakout cast. The story of PonyBoy, Soda Pop and Darry is a class warfare drama that looks into sensitive characters and their losses. In this film Avrum and Ellie explore trauma and parenting, what happens when there are surrogate caregivers, and how famil…
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Edward Scissorhands: High Expectations, Deflecting Responsibility and Making Mistakes
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Tim Burton’s Edward Scissorhands is a surreal adventure and love story that Avrum and Ellie use as a springboard for conversations this week about what to do when parents make mistakes, high expectations and saviour complexes and how we tend to look for ways to deflect responsibility in relationships when we don’t know what to do. Please subscribe …
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S1 Ep 27: Heathers… Do we really need to say more? Dark, sassy and a brutal look at class and caste warfare in high school. In this episode we are digging into how kids need to be seen, heard and understood, but we can’t do that as parents if we are freaking out, and asking the question what does it mean to be in control of ourselves and the differ…
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Crossing Delancey: Choosing the "Right" Partner
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This week we watched the Jewish classic Crossing Delancey… Izzy and the Pickle Man and her lovely Bubbie in NYC of the early 80s… a charming love story that poses questions about old world vs new, how to choose the “right” partner and whether to listen to wisdom or push for progress.. Also, this week we had some tech issues, so we leave you on a cl…
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This week on Pop Parenting : This week Avrum and Ellie watched the classic Beetlejuice, this movie with a stellar cast was one of Tim Burton’s first breakout hits and is lovely, weird and lovable. Avrum goes super-clinical on us with quotes from Bowen and we dig into how when a kid is symptomatic, the illness is in the family...Here we go... Click …
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As Good As It Gets: What Are Relationships For?
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As Good As it Gets with Jack Nicolson is a wild ride of anxiety, empathy and OCD. This week Avrum and Ellie use this film to explore relationships being a “people growing machine” and how we try to fix everyone else when we don’t want to fix ourselves. Here we go... Click here to check out Avrum's new book "Where Would You Like To Start?" Click her…
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St Elmo's Fire: Failure to Launch and Where Are They Now?
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S1 Ep23 - This week we are watching St Elmos Fire and wondering where all of those iconic characters end up. Its a movie that’s hard to watch through the lens of today, but it brings up some fascinating questions about launching our kids into adult life. Click here to check out Avrum's new book "Where Would You Like To Start?" Click here to learn m…
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Wall Street: Is Gordon Gekko Emotionally Mature?
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This week on Pop Parenting : Wall Street with Charlie Sheen and Michael Douglas was an 80s staple and a raw look at the new money culture of that time. In this episode Avrum and Ellie are exploring themes how kids not feeling seen or heard at home will seek out surrogate parents, we are debating whether the character of “Gordon Gekko” is emotionall…
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S1 Ep 21: Avrum and Ellie open with a discussion about Bell Let’s Talk day, mental heath and wellness and how to understand this from a more holistic viewpoint. We also get into My Cousin Vinny with Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei, and delve into a fused family dynamic where no one knows who they are, and ask the question should the person who cares the…
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Mermaids: Parenting After Divorce, Freewheeling and Good Soundtracks
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S1 Ep 20: Mermaids with Cher and Winona Ryder was a huge hit when it came out. This week Avrum and Ellie are taking a look at this film and discussing free wheeling parents and the fallout for kids, the roles of men and women today, and what the role of a parent after divorce is when their ex is talked about in the home. Click here to check out Avr…
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The Karate Kid: Meditation, Wise Elders and Power in the Family
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This week on Pop Parenting : The Karate Kid is seeing another heyday with the release of Cobra Kai on Netflix. This week Avrum and Ellie discuss this 80s classic and touch on themes of meditation, wise elders, being present and giving space and where should the locus of power be in a family… also, check out Avrum’s new email newsletter for extra id…
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16 Candles: Grandparents, No Boundaries and Anthony Michael Hall
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This week on Pop Parenting : Back to John Hughes. 16 Candles was the first John Hughes break out hit. Avrum and Ellie are looking at emotional immaturity in grandparents and parents, how cluster events and nodal events bring out the worst, and sometime the best in people, and we agree that Anthony Michael Hall is totally amazing in this film. Click…
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Field of Dreams: Old Regrets, Flexible Marriage and Step by Step Progress
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This week on Pop Parenting Avrum and Ellie watched and are now discussing the Kevin Costner movie Field of Dreams. We are using it to explore ideas around making amends after someone has passed away, parenting in 2021, the beauty of a flexible supportive marriage and how to make progress in a dysfunctional family system. Next week: 16 Candles Click…
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S1 Ep 17: Rainman - Emotional Cutoff, Vulnerability and Tom Cruise
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This week on Pop Parenting we are looking at the 1988 hit movie Rainman. This movie leads us to tracking the growth of the main character Charlie Babbitt, played by Tom Cruise, and how in order to actually grow up and get a life, Charlie has to drop his guard, get vulnerable and understand what it means to be part of a family. We look at emotional …
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Parenthood: Siblings, Stress and Unfinished Business
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This week on Pop Parenting Ellie and Avrum are looking at the movie Parenthood with Steve Martin. We are seeing 3 generations of anxiety and coping systems in this movie, and we are speaking about siblings, stress, fathers and sons and how our unfinished business starts family fires. We also delve into the prevalence of anxious therapists, and Avru…
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S1 Ep 15 Boyz N The Hood: Fathers and Mothers, Masculine Energy and Guest Host!
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Hi This is Ellie, this week on Pop Parenting we welcomed our first guest host Immanuel Marsh, co-host of the podcast So, Tell Me About Your Mother, therapist, teacher, counsellor and minister in Alabama. Avrum, Immanuel and Ellie are together talking about the 1991 John Singleton movie Boyz N The Hood and discussing masculine energy, the roles of f…
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S1 Ep16 Dead Poets Society: Losing Ourselves In Our Children
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This week Avrum and Ellie are talking about the movie Dead Poets Society. They are asking about what happens when parents can no longer tell themselves apart from their children. And, noticing that this movie hits, different, after the passing of Robin Williams. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/popparenting/messa…
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S1 Ep15 Footloose: Death, Divorce and Dancing
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This week Avrum and Ellie are re-watching the film Footloose and discussing death, dancing and divorce. They're asking what happens when parents try to control their children's every move and is that actually focusing on the wrong issues? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/popparenting/message…
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The Lost Boys: Vampires, Chosen Families and Feeling Lost
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This week on Pop Parenting we checked out the cult favourite “The Lost Boys”. A beloved, kitschy and weird ode to the 80s vampire obsession. Avrum and Ellie are exploring the themes of “chosen families”, dealing with loss, and feeling lost, and wondering why during this era vampires were such a thing. Here we go. Click here to check out Avrum's new…
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The Breakfast Club: Bender (The Rebel)
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This week on Pop Parenting The 5 Books of the Breakfast Club ends with the last character we see raising his arm in triumph… “Bender” played by Judd Hersh is the rebel without a pause, he’s rude, loud, complicated and clearly hurting. In this episode Avrum and Ellie are talking about generational anger and domestic violence, how to break a pattern,…
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The Breakfast Club: Brian (The Nerd)
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This week on Pop Parenting we are on the 4th of the 5 teen characters in the breakfast club. "Brian" played by Anthony Michael Hall is the quintessential “nerd”...gets good grades and does what his parents tell him, but brings a gun to school. We are delving into searching for simple solutions when faced with complex problems, as well as are we ask…
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This week on Pop Parenting - The 5 Books of the Breakfast Club continues with Ally Sheedy’s character Allison who is “ignored”. Avrum asks if we can really trust only the viewpoint of a child in working out solutions, and Ellie asks if it actually might be a good thing to ignore your kids. We also delve into remembering our parents were also people…
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This week on Pop Parenting we come back to The Breakfast Club and look at the character played by Emilio Estevez “Andrew” the jock/star athlete who is in detention for torturing another kid and under pressure from his father to be the best. Avrum and Ellie use his story to talk about Fathers and Sons, Unrealized hopes and dreams that parents put on…
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In this weeks episode of Pop Parenting Avrum and Ellie are watching the Breakfast Club for the 4 millionth time and picking on Claire. Molly Ringwald's character is wealthy, snobby, fashionable and frustrated and a perfect opening to seeing what all of the teens in this movie are struggling with. We dig into family triangles, whether all parents ar…
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Good Will Hunting - The Myth of the "United Front of Parenting" and How To Be a Wise Elder
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When parents are absent and/or abusive, a wise elder can step in and provide a young person with guidance, wisdom and a loving kick in the ass. Also in an ode to the incredible Robyn Williams and the character of Sean he plays in the film Good Will Hunting, Avrum and Ellie wax poetic about the myth of the “united front” of parenting, how wise elder…
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Less Than Zero - Privilege, Principles and Parenting
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This week on Pop Parenting** we tackle one of our all-time favourite films: "Less Than Zero". When Avrum posted about this episode here's what he said: Questions to be tackled: 1. How to set boundaries when your child is freebasing cocaine? 2. Is it possible for a drug dealer to have useful life principles? If so, what? 3. Is it possible to love an…
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Some Kind of Wonderful and How To Have a Healthy Fight
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In this episode of Pop Parenting we are talking about the movie “Some Kind of Wonderful” by John Hughes, Avrum pushes the conversation into religion and freedom, we talk about The Maiden King and spiritual awakenings, parents who live vicariously through their kids, our present day emotional immaturity and its effect on societal regression, how to …
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Pretty In Pink: Iona - Wise Elders and Real Leaders
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This week in Pop Parenting we are discussing "Wise Elders", Iona's iconic fashion sense in Pretty in Pink and how we all long for a good leader... --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/popparenting/message
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Pretty In Pink: Parenting Parents and What is Love
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This episode of Pop Parenting, Avrum and Ellie are geeking out on one of the canon movies from the 80’s “Pretty in Pink”. What do our parents teach us about love through osmosis and how do we pass this on to our kids? What do we do when we have to parent our parents? Check out Avrum’s blog on this https://nadigel.com/blog/pretty-pink-mom and if you…
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Ferris Recap and Pandemic Back To School PLUS Avrum's New Book!
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In the episode Avrum and Ellie do a short recap of some of the ideas we looked at in Ferris Bueller's Day off, we hear about Avrum's new book "Where Would You Like to Start" with his late supervisor Dr. David Freeman, and take a look at how to deal with anxiety and uncertainty in sending our kids back to school in a pandemic. --- Send in a voice me…
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Cameron in Ferris Bueller's Day Off - How Effective is Yelling At Parents?
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Today’s Pop Parenting with Avrum Nadigel and Ellie Bass we are watching Cameron in Ferris Buellers Day Off both melt down and wake up, and understand the family system he’s been caught in. Who were his parents and how do we change the patterns of interaction in our families? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/poppa…
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Ferris Bueller: Hero or Psychopath?
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Avrum and Ellie are getting nerdy and intense about understanding parenting using Ferris Bueller as our example, was he a freedom fighter or master manipulator? What was happening in that family dynamic that speaks to setting boundaries with our kids, and how siblings feel about different parenting styles and choices... --- Send in a voice message:…
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