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Once again, the gang finds themselves facing another trial. Maybe if we stop goofing around, we can get to the bottom of this murder in paradise. Until then we deal with tiny baby arms, lizard brain Akane, and ask hard hitting questions about bears.By Ultimate Despair Reprise – Scanline Media
 
And so the kingdom, long divided, unites. No more Wu and Wei, nor Shu or Han. The Jin Dynasty rises to chart a new future for China. Or… an old future. Because, of course, this all happened a very long time ago. Villains or heroes, the figures of the Three Kingdoms live on as legends, for future generations to wonder upon. We take your questions, a…
 
There are two types of people: the broken bones and the wet noodles. Which one are you? No, don’t answer that: we’ll answer it FOR you. Over the course of this revelatory, revoLUTIONary podcast, you will learn all sorts of things. About slugbugs or whatever. About relationships. Plumbing. Vietnamese fast food. Bottle Crow: Just Do It. We’re on iTun…
 
This isn’t the end of the Kingdom of Shu, but we can see it from here. Wei’s forces have kicked down the door, and Emperor Shan twittles his thumbs even as the blade nears his neck. Jiang Wei remains incapable of winning a meaningful victory, and Wu’s forces clearly won’t arrive in time to save their allies. Next week, the last episode of Three Kin…
 
Music rings across the streets of Garlemald, and Professor Sirus nan Siles tries desperately to run faster. He knows that sound too well. For many a Garlean commander, leader of black ops projects or dark science experiment, that music has been the last thing they ever heard. It heralds the coming of the golden avenger, clad in armor and bearing a …
 
After this episode, two weeks remain until the end, and yet… there are still three kingdoms. The podcast, long united, is now divided. Jackson knows the end for sure, having read it already. Em knows the end rather generally from remembering… well, history. Six FEELS like they know the end, but the book has a habit of proving them wrong. And Jen is…
 
Seeking a respite from a relentless year, Six and Jen retreated into the world of farming games. A newcomer to the field, Jen opted for Ooblets, and found a variety of choices that left her feeling a bit cold. Six is more of a longtime fan of farming titles, and opted for a return to an old home with Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town. In th…
 
Deng Ai, my guy! Another Wei genius tactician arrives to foil the extremely fallible Jiang Wei. He has his work cut out for him as Wei is repeatedly invaded, suffering civil wars, coups, and more. I am afraid I also have to offer a CONTENT WARNING for GORE because there’s some really messed up stuff in this involving a dude who gets very, very stre…
 
The gang finds themselves on a new island, and with it comes new mysteries, places to be ambushed by Monomi, and kitchy diners. Join us as we discuss fajitas, sad mafia boys, and make references to 80’s music once or twice. Remember to follow us @UDespairCast or send us an email at despaircast@gmail.com for the latest!…
 
After losing a recording, we’re back with a vengeance. Certainly, this episode feels like vengeance: like Nick punishing me, Six, for slights real or imaginary. Air Bud, Taco Bell, Subway, Immortal 2s, League of Legumes, SingSingSing with a real banger, Home Improvements, the whole works. Jump in. This is the abridged version of the episode: the ex…
 
After losing a recording, we’re back with a vengeance. Certainly, this episode feels like vengeance: like Nick punishing me, Six, for slights real or imaginary. Air Bud, Taco Bell, Subway, Immortal 2s, League of Legumes, SingSingSing with a real banger, Home Improvements, the whole works. Jump in. This is the unabridged version of the episode: it h…
 
It is Sima’s time, though Yi will not live to see it. Jiang Wei is a Jiang Waste of space, Sun Quan finally passes away, Cao Rui bites the dust, the bodies are droppin y’all. More pointless invasions that don’t go anywhere, more politicking, and the reveal of Chekhov’s Ten Arrow Bow. If you want to contact us on Twitter, Em is at @em_being, Jackson…
 
Sucker Punch, a studio that is at least in our circles infamous (ha!) for bad representation and thoughtless portrayals of minorities, has made a game about Japan! Oh boy. Well, it’s not as bad as you might think…? From a gameplay and art perspective, it’s great! From a writing and cultural context perspective, it’s a bit more messy. Six and Jen pl…
 
KONGMING IS DEAD! And yet, his shadow looms eternal over this book. No sorry I’m not being metaphorical, people are probably gonna be revealing that that MFer told them what to do for the next fifteen chapters. And then the book will be OVER! Oh well. Cao Rui continues to disappoint, Shu’s Stay At Home Emperor gets worried, the stars say you’re don…
 
After a very long hibernation, the gang is back at it with a brand new episode! We discuss the trial of Danganronpa 2, as we settle back into the rhythm of discussing this game. We discuss the Jokerfication of Komaeda, questionable writing decisions, and gather berries for the next episode.By Ultimate Despair Reprise – Scanline Media
 
It seems like Kongming is on his way out, but the man’s never done anything quietly, so why would he die without making a fuss? The propaganda is pretty unsubtle this week as our illustrious author finds ways to praise every single one of Kongming’s actions, up to and including his running away with his tail between his legs. The wooden bulls and s…
 
It’s Two Networks time, but we’ve swapped out one of the networks! Six and Jen from Scanline Media are joined by strategy and tactics expert, games journalist and media critic Rowan Kaiser, representing Idle Thumbs by way of Three Moves Ahead. With her expertise in tow, we delve deeper than ever into Total War: Three Kingdoms, talking serious shop …
 
This week, Shu and Wei are at each other’s throats nonstop. Sun Quan declares himself emperor, then watches the other two kingdoms fight while eating popcorn. Sima Yi ALMOST does it with a WILD plan (just stand. don’t chase.) but his generals can’t quite pull it off. The chapter title of 99 straight up lies about what happens in that chapter, and t…
 
We’ve been DECEIVED! Sima Yi IS actually a big deal! And with his ascent, Wei finally has a champion again! Kongming is tired of having to be… well… Kongming. The Cao family continues to be a disappointment ever since Cao Cao died. Emperor Shan doesn’t understand what Kongming’s so worked up about. All this, and more. Read on! If you want to contac…
 
SingSingSing graces us with another tune in this extra long episode. The Tragedy of the Missing Triplelupa, angering pub players with humility, a return to Old Dota, fried tofu tricks, we fix baseball, and so much more. We’re on iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher! You can subscribe on those, and leave a review if you like! That would really help us …
 
The Kongming show continues, regrettably. We’re introduced to a new Wei hero in Jiang Wei, but he is immediately traded to the Shu roster for a past-his-prime Dave Parker. Cao Pi dies, but when his son steps up to replace him he proves just as incompetent. Zhao Zilong fights, the fights are brief. Not the strongest chapters we’ve had, but I sense w…
 
This week is our first ever SPONSORED segment! It’s sponsored… by a listener… in exchange for battle pass levels. Listen, if you’re gonna help me get the Windranger arcana in exchange for content I was gonna make ANYWAY, I’m HERE for it. So shoutouts to Greg Scherr for his support. Taco Bell, Pringles, Dota (what the hell is that?), baseball, and m…
 
Mask off, baby. It’s time for colonialism. You might be thinking, “Six, it’s BEEN time for colonialism.” I mean yes, but not like THIS dawg. Kongming kicks a strawman around for three chapters, the book makes no end of excuses about why the empire has so much trouble with a rebellion, there’s tons of magic… these chapters rule, because it’s such st…
 
Oh no, gang. We’re in trouble. The Battle Pass is here, and it’s really cool… and REALLY expensive. There sure are a lot of pieces of random nonsense in it, though. We invent a few new segments, we discover the truth of Windranger’s origins, we offer another poem via Jacky Mao. Weep for me, children, this year will be a costly one for me. We’re on …
 
Xuande is dead! Well, ok. Xuande’s been dead for a long time. But now Emperor BEI is ALSO dead! The rise of Emperor Shan is actually the rise of Prime Minister Kongming. An envoy repeatedly threatens to boil himself, a rebellion in the Riverlands is ?sort of? suppressed, and Cao Pi continues to be just the lamest. If you want to contact us on Twitt…
 
E3 has been canceled. We all know this. And even if it hadn’t been, it would have been a disaster. This too is known. But what if we lived in a different reality? One where E3 was amazing… not because of Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo, but because three other companies stepped up? Join Ryan (Sega), Activision (Jen), and Capcom (Six) for an all new fa…
 
Remember Xuande? I can’t say I was ever a fan, but the guy was ok. There’s nothing left of him now. Only a twisted husk living on a distorted memory of an oath he once swore. I guess the Southlands are the ones to root for now. Cao Pi is lame, the sons of the Brothers are on the impulsive side… bad times in old China this week. You know… as opposed…
 
Just when you think you’re out, someone insults Windranger. And you know what you have to do. There’s a new Hoho Haha for a new generation, and Nick’s jungle boycott has met with great success. A poem, some truly smashing potatoes, and an International cancellation. Well, there’s always next year. We’re on iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher! You can…
 
Break out the jade seals, we’ve got two new emperors! Xuande finally ascends, while Cao Pi quickly grabs control. Zhang Fei passes away, and his son and Lord Guan’s butt heads. Zhao Zilong disapproves, a wise man dissuades, and Yu Jin disappears. Have you ever been so owned by a painting you died? If you want to contact us on Twitter, Em is at @em_…
 
I know. I know. You haven’t eaten since our last Jacky’s Chow. How could you? Without the culinary guidance of Nick and Six, all the world’s food is but dust. But your worries are over. With this hour of guidance, we will set you back on the path. May your quarantine be full of cooking adventures. We’re on iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher! You can…
 
The heroes of the last generation, long united with their lives, must be divided from them. This week, titans fall as some BIG names bite the dust, as well as a few young and promising ones we’d hoped to see more from. Ghost problems abound, despite the counsel of Buddhist monks, and the secrets of a great physician are lost forever to fire. This i…
 
They done did it now. The Final Fantasy VII Remake is actually out. They finished it. And then, subsequently, we (Six and Jen) finished it. And with both their and our tasks complete, we assemble. One of the most beloved games of all time, with an ambitious and wild new angle? Oh hell yeah, let’s spoil the shit outta this thing. If you haven’t, we …
 
Who’s time? Shu’s time! A new crop of Southlands officers is upon us, perhaps signalling the beginning of a new era for the Three Kingdoms. Is it time for the new generation to take charge? Certainly Shu’s new officers seem pretty damn good at this stuff, and the shine is starting to come off old heroes like Lord Guan… only time will tell, friends.…
 
One. Tome. DOWN. Our translation of Three Kingdoms is split into two books, and the first (and longer) of the two is now in the rearview mirror. Also in the rearview: Lei Tong (rip), Yang Xiu (riiiiip), and perhaps… Cao Cao? We won’t know until next time, but it’s a tense time in the ol’ kingdoms, that’s for sure. If you want to contact us on Twitt…
 
With our sister network’s host indisposed, Six and Jen take the opportunity to talk about some Three Kingdoms video games! Dynasty Warriors, Total War: Three Kingdoms, and… The Sims? If you’re stuck indoors, we’ve got some recommendations for you. If you want to contact us on Twitter, Em is at @em_being, Jackson is at @headfallsoff, Jen is at @jbu3…
 
it’s cuz you be strugglin in that database. Over the last handful of months, Six was converted to the gospel of Kamen Rider through watching Kamen Rider Build. Now, they’re watching Kamen Rider Zero-One, the currently airing entry in the series. Since this is actually current content, this seemed like a GREAT excuse for a meeting of minds. Olivia f…
 
A new campaign begins, but we can’t leave space behind. This is our episode zero for Starsung Distance, a campaign Six is GMing with Jen, Kyrie, and Kat playing. We’re playing Beam Saber, made by Austin Ramsay, which is a hack of Blades in the Dark. In this episode, we’ll set up the setting, the characters, the squad, and the situation they find th…
 
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