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Trashy Royals

Hemlock Creatives

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Whether it's the debauchery of ancient Roman emperors, the Tudor crime family, the shenanigans behind the Chair of St. Peter, or the Austrian elites’ attempts to save themselves by trading their daughters to other royal houses, it turns out that our betters have always been among our worst. Join Alicia and Stacie from Trashy Divorces as we turn our jaded eyes to a different kind of moral garbage fire: Trashy Royals! Thursdays. Brought to you by Hemlock Creatives.
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Between Two Ravens: A Norse Mythology Podcast

David Alexander and Shawn Gaich

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A podcast about the psychological significance of Norse Mythology. Shawn is an amateur Norse Mythology Expert. David is not a Jungian Analyst but he reads a lot of books about Carl Jung's theories on the collective unconscious and individuation. Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tworavenspodcast/ Follow us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tworavenspodcast
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Deep Dreams is an AI generated podcast with nonsensical stories to help you fall asleep to a soothing voice. Let your robotic overlords whisper comforting sweet nothings straight into your subconscious. What could go wrong? Website: https://deepdreams.stavros.io/ RSS feed: https://deepdreams.stavros.io/feed.xml
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In this episode, Shawn and David discuss chapter 15 of "The Saga of Ragnar Lodbrok". Despite his absence in the previous episode, Ragnar knows full well about the successful military campaigns of his sons. Despite his past of slaying a dragon/serpent and being a great king among men, Ragnar sees his son's exploits beginning to exceed his own. In wh…
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This week, join us for a journey 500 years in the making! Off to Derbyshire we go to spend some time at Chatsworth, the ancestral home of the Cavendish family and the Dukes and Duchesses of Devonshire through time. There were many women who claimed the Duchess title, and a few who did not. We explore them all - from Bess of Hardwick, the lady who b…
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We regret to inform you that today's legal regime of protecting corpses from desecration is a modern development, and even worse, royals have a rich history of relying on them for all sorts of things. Today we get into the alleged curative powers of corpses, especially among Spain's Hapsburg leaders a few centuries back. Don Carlos himself, whom we…
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In this episode, the sons of Ragnar— Ivar, Bjorn, Hvitserk, and Sigurd—along with Ragnar's wife Aslaug, invade King Eystein’s land to avenge their fallen brothers, Eirik and Agnar. Facing yet another magical cow on the battlefield, Ivar the Boneless (if his ability to live without bones didn’t make it obvious) reveals his own magical abilities in t…
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We've often marveled at the incestuous nature of royal marriages in Europe, but the inbreeding really came to a head in 16th century Spain, when King Philip II married and had a son with his double first cousin, Maria Manuela of Portugal. Carlos, their baby boy, came into the world with significant disadvantages; his legs were different lengths and…
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One of the more fascinating women of the Tudor era was actually one of the last Plantagenets, Margaret Plantagenet, later Margaret Pole, Countess of Salisbury. Daughter of George, Duke of Clarence (he of Malmsey wine fame), and a niece to both King Edward IV and King Richard III, Margaret and her brother were taken into the care of King Henry VII a…
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S5E13 Volsung Poems: The Poems of Brynhild and Gudrun (Part 4) David continues his series of not so short solo episodes, deep diving into the Poems of the Poetic Edda which inspired the Saga of the Volsungs. This is the story of the meeting of the hero with the beloved. The Valkyrie. I had to analyze the tragedy of Tristan and Iseult to find the ar…
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Alicia is leading a Swiftory takeover! To celebrate the launch of her newest podcast, Swiftory, she's taking you into one of its origin stories - the life of Catherine of Aragon, the first wife of Henry VIII, through a five-song arc of Taylor Swift songs. This one will sate the palate of both Trashy Divorces and Trashy Royals listeners! Subscribe t…
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Legend has it that at the turn of the 17th century, in a small corner of the then-Kingdom of Hungary, a noblewoman preyed on her peasant tenants, torturing and murdering them for her own sadistic pleasure high up in her castle in the Little Carpathian Mountains. Countess Elizabeth Bathory (Erzsebet Bathori, or Alzbeta Batoriova, in Hungarian and Sl…
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It turns out that Royals have been enjoying (?) bizarre deaths a lot more often than we first realized! Among this set's methods of departure from the world: getting a little too cozy with your enemy's severed head, life-extension mercury (don't try this at home!), poorly constructed furniture, laughter, constipation, and, in a bit of a twist, a st…
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Like the rest of us, the world's royals are mere mortals who meet our universal fate in the end. But for some, that end came about in unusual ways - infected simian bites, the ingestion of liquid gold, genital maggots, a surfeit of lampreys, and the sweetest, perhaps: death by pastry. Listen ad-free at patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast. To advertise …
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New from Hemlock Creatives: Swiftory, a not-so-typical Taylor Swift podcast, perfect for any Swiftie, literature lover, or history buff. Hosts Alicia and Melissa explore Taylor Swift’s music as a jumping off point into a wider world of fascinating figures and iconic literature. Join us as we romp through Taylor’s stories, visiting the places, perso…
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And in the concluding episode of the (ongoing) story of Princess Michael of Kent, we watch aghast as the Anglican and Catholic churches battle over the pending nuptials of Prince Michael and his sweet Marie-Christine, and then Alicia tries (and seems to largely fail) to explain to Stacie why British law and custom required Prince Michael of Kent to…
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This week we continue our journey into the life and times of Princess Michael of Kent. In this middle episode of her arc, we explore her teenage years, her first marriage and subsequent divorce, and her romance with Prince Michael of Kent. This love affair is assisted by a familiar character, Lord Louis Mountbatten, who manages with charm and royal…
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We begin our exploration of the UK's surprisingly controversial Princess Michael of Kent with a little back story. And given that Princess Michael of Kent started life in January 1945 as a German baroness named Marie-Christine von Reibnitz, you can bet the Nazis had a hand in it! The daughter of Baron Gunther von Reibnitz, a Nazi Party member who s…
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We return this week to the Stuart Dynasty, and King James VI of Scotland, coming on in as King James I of England. His reign begins in 1603 and runs through 1625, you might be surprised what you can pack into 22 years to trashy administrating, but James makes the most of it. Included: Rewriting of The Bible, Witch Hunting, More Pamphlets, Gunpowder…
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In this exciting installment of our past selves bringing you current episodes, we continue with the thread of the Trashy Stuarts. It is time to explore the life of James VI from his birth to the age of 39 when he assumes the English Throne in 1603. Oh my – so many things before he even assumes the throne in England after the death of Elizabeth. Jam…
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Shawn apologizes for his audio quality. He needed to switch to a headset last minute after already marking himself as using a speaker when he entered the recording room. He is an idiot. - Shawn In this episode, Shawn and David discuss chapters 9-11 of the "Saga of Ragnar Lodbrok". The duo discuss Ragnar playing politics with his vassals, specifical…
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In this week's double Trashy Royals, past-us brings an episode out of the Trashy Divorces side of the world, as it really does all connect in history. It is back to April 2021 when we took a trip into the late 16th Century to do some witch hunting with King James VI of Scotland, long before he makes it to England as James I. His new hobby is no way…
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In this exciting episode of Trashy Royals, we are jumping into the future a bit from our Tudor timeline into the beginning of the Stuart Dynasty. How does the crown go from Elizabeth I to James I, and who were the other contenders in play? Everyone is related in this one – pull out your yarn and have some family tree fun! Listen ad-free at patreon.…
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This is a short episode where David talks about why a person might want to study Norse Mythology, Poetry, and Archetypes. My hope is that this episode would be a good introduction for anyone who is not already following Shawn and I on our 2 year journey of exploring the myths of the Norse Gods and the hero Sagas of the Volsung family and Ragnar Lot…
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The Tudors are still turning, friends, but with the spooky season upon us, Alicia thought it would be a wonderful time to share the scariest thing the Tudors themselves dealt with: a mysterious illness called Sweating Sickness. Fortunately for people alive today, the disease vanished centuries ago, leaving modern scientists to puzzle over what it m…
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By 1520, Europe found itself in an interesting moment. The most significant leaders in the endless jostle for power and influence were all young kings - Henry VIII in England, around 30 years old; Francis I in France, around 26 years old; and Charles V as King of Spain and Holy Roman Emperor, at about 20 years old. You can imagine how potentially u…
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Life after the death of her husband, King James IV of Scotland, was not simple for Margaret Tudor, at least not at first. Her quick marriage to Archibald Douglas, 6th Earl of Angus, happened while she was unaware of his long relationship with another woman. Her royal status in Scotland was complicated - fairly massively - by the fact that her broth…
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In this episode, Shawn and David discuss chapters 5-8 of "The Saga of Ragnar Lodbrok", which details a now adult Aslaug (still disguised as "Kraka", the daughter of a farmer) distracting the eyes of the men of Ragnar, then Ragnar himself. They further go into their marriage and the birth of a few of their sons, including Ivar the Boneless, Bjorn, H…
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After his father shipped his sister Margaret off to be the Queen of Scotland, it fell to Henry VIII to manage his baby sister Mary's love life. A genuine beauty, France's King Louis XII, then 52, was undoubtedly happy to walk down the aisle with the 18-year-old English princess. The bliss would not last, as just three or so months later, Louis was …
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S5E9 - Tristant and Iseult: The Myth of Romantic Love. David presents a story that is a long time in the works. It is the story of Tristan and Iseult. The first European Romance story. It is a story I needed to explain to connect the Saga of Sigurd and the Dragon, with the love triangle drama of Sigurd, Brunhilde, and Gudrun. This episode combines …
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The much-discussed and much-reviled English King Henry VIII is best known, of course, as one of history's worst husbands. There were famously six wives, two of whom were lucky enough to outlive him. But before whatever madness began to take hold of him in his 30s, he was a dashing, popular young king with a devoted wife and, as far as historians ca…
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A century and a half before the "Golden Age of Piracy," an Irish woman of noble birth was conquering the inland seas and coastlines on the western edge of the island. Gráinne Ó Máille, anglicized to Grace O'Malley, hailed from the Umhaill line, a seafaring clan of Connacht, and while the family did conduct legitimate forms of trade, they also ran p…
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When Queen Elizabeth II was born in 1926, there were years of her childhood that were, compared to other future monarchs, quite normal. After all, she was never supposed to be the Queen. Her father was a second son; her Uncle David would succeed her grandfather, and certainly other male children would come along. And then, in 1930, Elizabeth's pare…
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Charlemagne, The Father of Europe, died in the year 814 and left only one surviving son to take the helm of the Carolingian Empire, which spanned the lion's share of the European continent. But his heir, Louis the Pious, had three sons, who each got a parcel of the empire when he died. Then those kings had children of their own, dividing the kingdo…
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Content note: This episode contains descriptions of sexual violence and coercion that may not be appropriate for all listeners. Though only in power for eight years, the Ottoman Empire's Ibrahim the Mad made his own mark on history as a notoriously bad ruler, a sexual deviant, but also a bit of a fashion plate. He loved his furs and sparkly jewels.…
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We are excited to share a show we're loving with you! American Prankster: Wavy Gravy's Life Story pairs the legendary entertainer and activist with our friend, podcaster Rainbow Valentine, following the incredible ride of a life that Wavy Gravy has been on through decades of American counterculture. Enjoy this sample, and subscribe wherever you lis…
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In its many thousands of years of history, China has had only one official ruling monarch who was a woman. Sure, there were powerful Empress Consorts who pulled the strings of weak Emperor husbands, but Empress Wu Zetian ambitiously, and ruthlessly, upended convention to claim the throne in her own name. Born to a prosperous and well-connected fami…
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As the Romanov era closed, some family members were more fortunate than others. Grand Duchess Olga Alexandrovna, youngest daughter of Tsar Alexander III and baby sister of the doomed Tsar Nicholas II, may be the most fortunate of the Romanov clan, escaping the country and living out a happy life in Denmark and Canada. Born into a large, loving, roy…
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Most Americans have at least a basic sense of key elements of European history, but that's not necessarily true when it comes to places like China. And that's true for us, too. Today we take our first dive into China's extremely long history - 4,000 years by some accounts! - to meet three notably trashy emperors of the Ming Dynasty, which ruled Chi…
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Powerful women have always had to play the game a little differently than their male counterparts, but the story of Irene of Athens, who played politics with enough dexterity to become Empress of the Byzantine Empire for about 20 years in the 8th century, is extraordinarily complicated. The daughter of a prominent Greek family, she was brought to C…
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To round out our Meet the Bonapartes series, we turn to Napoleon's eldest - and apparently coolest - brother, Joseph. Affable, charming, and comfortable in his own skin, he was a contrast to most of his siblings, including Napoleon. His easygoing nature made him popular even with political opponents, and Joseph was an important player in Napoleon's…
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Napoleon's eldest sister shared many of his more imperious personal qualities, but would prove to be surprisingly gifted at governance after her brother named her Princess of the Italian principalities of Piombino and Lucca. More territories would be added to the holdings she governed, eventually including the Grand Duchy of Tuscany, with Florence …
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Finally, Between Two Ravens starts their series on "The Saga of Ragnar Lodbrok" after only saying they were going to start it 8,000 times. In this episode, Shawn and David discuss chapters 1-4 of the saga, which details the journey of Heimir and a 3 year old Aslaug, escaping the the chaos that resulted in the death of her parents (Sigurd the Dragon…
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It never hurts to have a hype man, and Napoleon's younger brother Lucien just happened to be a talented writer and orator. One could even say he was his brother's propagandist and co-conspirator in a ballot stuffing operation that led to Napoleon's initial domination of the government of France. But Lucien, who was also the tallest of the Bonaparte…
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Napoleon's meddling in his siblings' lives was the source of considerable angst for several of them. Napoleon had high expectations for his younger brother Louis, but Louis chafed at his brother's authority. Still, he ultimately agreed to marry Napoleon's step-daughter with Josephine, Hortense de Beauharnais, a marriage that would become notable mo…
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If Pauline was Napoleon's most loyal sister, Caroline was undoubtedly his most scheming. As a child, she took orders from her big brother, but as he rose from celebrated military commander to Emperor, she made sure he never forgot to improve her fortunes, as well. After she married one of Napoleon's military advisors - a match he was only persuaded…
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It's probably no surprise that in a family with as much internal intrigue as the Bonapartes had, Napoleon had a favorite among his three sisters. Pauline Bonaparte was eleven years younger than her brother, but was similarly ambitious and was generally happy to take part in his plans for himself and her. A natural beauty with a flirtatious, if slig…
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