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Welcome to Upbringing. We’re Hannah and Kelty - twins, mothers and works-in-progress. Upbringing is a movement that empowers parents to grow up alongside their kids for sanity and social change. Through this podcast, speaking and coaching, we focus on our personal work as parents- the awareness, mindset and approach needed to raise amazing kids while ALSO getting shit done. Join us to radically redefine kids’ resistance as a magical opportunity to nurture skills and values like consent, non- ...
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Spirited kids misbehaving, pushing boundaries, ignoring parents, struggling w/ frustration + rigidity
1:12:24
1:12:24
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- Rigid 5 yo and how to “coach them”- Kid always runs away with big feels- Spirited 2.5 yo won’t let parents touch her- The ways our kids learn about consent- The RESIST Approach vs CONTROL method- Parent struggling to state boundary + problem solve- When we want to show our kid how their behavior impacted someone- How fragility is created- Critica…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids’ big feelings, aggression + misbehavior, eye rolling + attitude, sib conflict
1:12:24
1:12:24
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1:12:24
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast, which consists of the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - Highly sensitive 10 yo struggling to socialize with friends - Aggressive 4 yo misbehaving constantly - 6 yo big feelings around moving - 9 yo struggling to adjust to new school - Parent …
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Taming Your Triggers! Convo w/ Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo
59:05
59:05
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We loved connecting with Jen Lumanlan of Your Parenting Mojo about ways we can tame our triggers in the toughest moments with our kids. Learn more about the amazing elements of her upcoming workshop HERE! We are so excited to begin with you on March 1st, so make sure to register by Feb 28! A few topics we cover with Jen about taming triggers: - Are…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids won't brush teeth or change clothes, hitting new baby, destructive when disappointed, yelling at parents
57:24
57:24
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57:24
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. We chat a few times in this episode about the Taming Your Triggers Workshop from our friend Jen of Your Parenting Mojo! Enrollment is open and the workshop begins March 1st! Join us to tame your triggers and break …
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids harsh words, screaming, hurting pets, picky eating, partners refusing to align with parenting approach
51:16
51:16
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51:16
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - 4 yo smothering cat - Kid screaming and yelling, overwhelmed parent - Accidental shaming of kids - Kid only eating carbs - What is intuitive eating? - 3 kids under 4 hur…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Defiant, resistant kids, bad manners, hitting, no boundaries, transition struggles, won’t clean up
1:01:20
1:01:20
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1:01:20
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - How we’re trying to raise non-fragile white kids - Connection vs control - Kid won’t say please + thank you - How to deal with grief in front of young kids - 2.5 yo hitt…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids bossing, negative self-talk, lying, disrespecting, no impulse control, hitting sibling
1:09:48
1:09:48
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1:09:48
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - 5 yo bossing + controlling family talking to each other - 4 yo getting too rough with 5 yo + 2 yo sibs playing - 7 yo self-critical + "doesn't want to be alive anymore" …
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Spirited kids acting out, kids disrespecting, avoiding bedtime, hitting themselves, scratching
47:35
47:35
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47:35
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - How to get a 6 yo to value his own opinion more - Spirited 5 yo acts out + won’t stop behaviors - 8 yo blows up when opposed, won’t self-reg, runs away - Our interview o…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids spitting, sassing, defiant, breaking consent, parents struggling to self-regulate
1:20:27
1:20:27
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Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - Spirited 4 yo hates circling back - starts spitting - 17 mo frustrated and has no words to explain - 5 yo sassing parents all the time - 6 yo with low emotional intellig…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids being mean, resisting agendas, won't clean up, listen to us, do what we say
1:02:15
1:02:15
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1:02:15
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - Parent struggling giving consequences - Kid spitting randomly all the time - Boundaries vs consequences - Should we mirror our kids' faces when they're upset? - 3yo push…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids hurting sibs, won’t eat, hoarding toys, hugely frustrated, vaping, husband explodes w/ kids
1:22:14
1:22:14
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1:22:14
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - Spirited 5 yo won’t leave the house when its time - 5 yo antagonizes little siblings til she gets hurt - Boy get over-excited + mean on playdates - 19 mo keeps leaving t…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Sensitive + spirited kids ignoring, freaking out when boundary held, partners insist on spanking, over-the-top reactions
1:00:20
1:00:20
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1:00:20
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - Kid is an extreme negotiator, loses it when boundaries are held - 3 yo laughs uncontrollably when parent states boundary - Kid has insomnia, parent struggling to stay re…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids saying “Bad Mommy”, hurting their siblings, bickering, clingy, doing gross stuff, won’t share
1:01:31
1:01:31
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1:01:31
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - Kid saying “bad mommy” when parent gets home with no binary talk at home - Mom not at her best with new baby + 3 kids, how to show up? - Kids hurting each other and pare…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids without impulse control, won’t play alone, stay in their room, stop hitting sibling, be quiet + relaxed
1:07:19
1:07:19
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1:07:19
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - Kid refuses to play alone, moves through activities too quickly - Supporting 5 month old with a demanding 3 year old - What are open-ended play opportunities? - Kids nee…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids won't brush hair + teeth, rude, harsh words, won't empathize
50:46
50:46
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50:46
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - Kid refuses to brush knots out of hair - Constantly stressing + apologizing to kids - 19 mo won't won't brush teeth - Kids are rude, call each other dumb, stupid - 6 yo …
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Sensitive kids, resist shots + medicine, won’t clean up, share, rude at playground, resisting bedtime
1:05:47
1:05:47
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1:05:47
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - Kid refuses shots, medicine, tooth cleaning - Early parent lives with a parent who yells + shames their kids - Highly sensitive kid resources - 2 kids getting out of con…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids complaining, negative attitudes, tantrums, won't finish food, nightmares
53:46
53:46
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53:46
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - When one kids’ big feelings freak out the other kids - When kids' big feelings freak out our partner or other caregiver - Kids complaining, negative attitudes, whining -…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids raging, running away, rude to friends, separation anxiety + clinginess
52:45
52:45
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52:45
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - 3 yo running away in parking lots + during transitions - 6 yo copying negative behaviors from school - 2.5 yo needs help understanding neuro-diverse cousins - Little boy…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids kicking dog, angry words, won't clean up, constantly "naughty" + "acting out"
1:04:21
1:04:21
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1:04:21
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - 2.5 yo hitting + kicking dog - Parent struggling with reactivity - Kid saying violent things like “I want to cut your face” - Kid hitting + seeking sensory stimulation -…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Why connection trumps correction w/ kids hitting, won't listen, go to school, sit for dinner, play nice
57:34
57:34
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57:34
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - Kid stonewalling + gaslighting parent - Toddler ignoring requests + expectations - Kid refusing to go to school - Kid won't sit for dinner, "hands out NO like candy" - K…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Teach respect to spirited, angry kids + our concerns with Brené Brown’s Family Gap Plan
51:33
51:33
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51:33
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - Teaching kids respect, worthiness, belonging - When our kids are “rude” - @ModernMomProbs, where we spoke about spirited kids - 10 yr old challenging everything, always …
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Strong-willed, sensory-seeking kids, toddlers hitting new babies, won’t nap, eat, bathe
1:00:13
1:00:13
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1:00:13
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this episode: - When our partners don’t adopt respectful parenting - Hitting! - When kids won’t sit down to eat - Feeling stuck + resentful w/ 4 & 2 year olds - When kids prefer one par…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Brené Brown, we’re calling bullsh*t on your Family Gap Plan!
53:24
53:24
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53:24
Welcome back to our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this week: - Brené Brown’s Family Gap Plan + why we find it problematic - How we’re attempting to create shame-free family manifestos - The #1 way to prepare/arm kids for the cruel outs…
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids saying “NO” to everything, arguing, hitting, throwing + stalling at bedtime
1:01:13
1:01:13
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Today on our LIVE Q&A SERIES we talked about: - Kid angry mom won’t play with him so he trashes the playroom - 6 year old argues and says NO to everything - 10 year old constantly arguing - The power of validation - How to set limits with hitting + throwing - We we look beyond behaviors to the underlying need - Overwhelmed 3 year old won’t respect …
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Upbringing
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LIVE Q&A SERIES // Kids’ anger, meltdowns, rude words, sibling aggression
1:03:21
1:03:21
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1:03:21
Today we kick off our LIVE Q&A SERIES on the podcast through the rest of the year, using the audio from our weekly Instagram LIVE videos. A few of the topics we cover this week: - 5 year old’s anger turning physical - Parent gets physically pummeled during kids’ tantrums - 2.5 year old being bossy and demanding - 5 year old flips out when limits ar…
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Upbringing
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GUEST SERIES // H+K on The Fresh Start Family Show // Support Sibling Conflict with Integrity
1:08:28
1:08:28
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1:08:28
Before launching this next season, we wanted to highlight a handful of favorite podcasts we’ve been guests on recently. We speak with some amazing folks about Upbringing, our mission and approach in practicing powers beyond control when it comes to daily discipline with our kids! The Fresh Start Family show is hosted by husband and wife team Terry …
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Upbringing
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GUEST SERIES // H+K on The Balanced Parent Podcast // Step into your power as a parent
40:40
40:40
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40:40
Before launching this next season, we wanted to highlight a handful of favorite podcasts we’ve been guests on recently. We speak with some amazing folks about Upbringing, our mission and approach in practicing powers beyond control when it comes to daily discipline with our kids! The Balanced Parent is a top-rated podcast hosted by Dr. Laura Froyen…
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Upbringing
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GUEST SERIES // H+K on Your Parenting Mojo Podcast // Align values as a parent + person
46:46
46:46
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46:46
Before launching this next season, we wanted to highlight a handful of favorite podcasts we’ve been guests on recently. We speak with some amazing folks about Upbringing, our mission and approach in practicing powers beyond control when it comes to daily discipline with our kids! This week, we’re sharing our interview with Jen Lumanlan on the Your …
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Upbringing
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GUEST SERIES // H+K on Not Your Mother's Podcast - Teaching kids consent
46:35
46:35
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46:35
Before launching this next season, we wanted to highlight a handful of favorite podcasts we’ve been guests on recently. We speak with some amazing folks about Upbringing, our mission and approach in practicing powers beyond control when it comes to daily discipline with our kids! Not Your Mother’s Podcast is a top-rated show hosted by Sonnet & Vero…
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Upbringing
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GUEST SERIES // H+K on Find The Magic Podcast - Supporting kids' resistance
1:09:49
1:09:49
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Before launching this next season of Upbringing, we’d like to share a handful of favorite podcast episodes we’ve been interviewed on recently. For the next few weeks, tune in as we connect with inspiring parenting communities about our radical mission to practice powers beyond control when it comes to daily discipline! Find the Magic is a top-rated…
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PARENTING FOR SANITY + SOCIAL CHANGE // Season Wrap Up
46:55
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Today we recap our podcast season and explore 10 ways we are attempting to parent for sanity and social change through our discipline. We laugh, we cry, we lean in… join us! Relevant Links: - Our Freedoms Model - Our RESIST Approach - Our Empowerments - Our Shop + the new Big Feelings Survival Guide! - Our Resources Page - Our Coaching page - Amber…
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RESIST Q&A // My kids resist screen time limits and I’m at a loss
49:47
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Today we hear from a parent who is at the end of her rope with battles over escalating screen time with her two sons, age 6 and 10. How can we set limits without over-controlling, pulling the parent card or getting intense pushback to the rules? We explore power, control, attunement, independent play, family agreements, loving limits, and some alte…
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Upbringing
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RESIST Q&A // My spirited kid verbally abuses us and I’m worried
48:35
48:35
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48:35
Today we hear from a parent who is exhausted from navigating the persistent frustrations, anger and big feelings of her spirited daughter. She worries about the possibility of her daughter ALWAYS being like this, as well as the impact of her big outbursts on the wellbeing and behavior of her younger brother. We explore temperaments, stress, kids’ b…
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RESIST Q&A // My partner doesn’t discipline respectfully
43:22
43:22
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Today we hear from two parents whose partners are not taking on as much of the learning around kids’ development + brains, respectful parenting and positive discipline solutions as they are themselves. They struggle, like so many of us, to find a way to bring their partners and other caregivers into the work of growing up alongside their kids as we…
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RESIST Q&A // My kid is overwhelmed with fear + anxiety
40:51
40:51
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Today we hear from a parent whos kid has begun struggling with middle of the night wakeups, then bedtime transitioning, and now daytime apart from parents. We explore ways to lean into his big feelings and resist the urge to fix, minimize, explain away, judge or stop his fears -- but rather to listen, validatek acknowledge, relate to and slowly inn…
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RESIST Q&A // My kid is intensely rude to us all
35:06
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Today we hear from a parent whose daughter has been intensely rude to her, her mother and her new partner. We explore ways to look beneath behaviors, connect instead of correct, run the RESIST Approach in the moment, and build skills and connection together as a family. When we can help our kids attune to themselves, we are breaking cycles of cultu…
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RESIST Q&A // Is it too late to change my discipline?
29:52
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Today we hear from a parent who is concerned her 4 year old’s brain is wired to react and respond in fear and people pleasing because she has used shame in her parenting. Our answer: IT’S NEVER TOO LATE! We explore ways that can help repair our kids’ brains and our connection as we build skills, practice and grow up alongside our kids and one anoth…
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Upbringing
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RAISING REBELS PODCAST // Noleca Radway "I Brought You Into This World..."
54:14
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Today we share a pre-existing episode of one of our favorite podcasts: Raising Rebels, hosted by Noleca Radway, Episode 3: "I brought you into this world...", posted on June 20, 2019. Raising Rebels is a podcast about oppressed parents raising free children, featuring courageous conversations with real parents who are encouraging their children to …
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FARE OF THE FREE CHILD PODCAST // Akilah Richards "Raider as Ritual"
1:04:04
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Today we share a pre-existing episode of one of our favorite podcasts: Fare of The Free Child: “Raider as Ritual” Episode 172, posted originally May 27, 2020! Fare of the Free Child is a lifestyle and parenting podcast about the connection between liberation, learning, and parenting-- particularly among BIPOC communities. In this episode, Akilah sp…
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PARENTING IN CAPTIVITY // 10 ways to build solid patterns // spring break episode
52:17
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When we feel like we're living our own horrifying version of the movie Groundhog Day, it makes dealing with kids big feelings and challenging behaviors pretty torturous. How can we channel the Phil Connors from the last several minutes of the movie, who can lean in and engage with his "new normal" with curiosity, generosity, patience, humor and joy…
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RESIST Q&A // Caregiver Clashes: Parenting on the same page with partners + caregivers
57:03
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57:03
We’re all going through a tough transition right now as we adjust to life at home… with kids… and work… and for many us, other caregivers. Our unique childhoods, unconscious beliefs and clashing approaches can increase the conflict, which can create stress for us, tension in our relationships and confusion for our kids. We’re all on the hunt for an…
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FREE TO SPEAK // Support respectful communication, authenticity and emotional intelligence through parenting and discipline
54:36
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Today we’re back as we explore our kids’ FREEDOM TO SPEAK! Does your kid struggle to speak respectfully? To lean into ‘manners’? To respond when questioned? Hang on as we radically grant our kids the right to speak (gasp) in whatever way comes out naturally. So what’s OUR job during this verbal shitstorm? We explore ways to align our values with ou…
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RESIST Q&A // Sibling conflict // support self awareness, self-regulation + non-violent communication through parenting + discipline
52:44
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Referee. Hall monitor. Manner police. Supporting our kids through their challenges together can feel like we’re wearing a bunch of crazy-ass hats, and their constant antics push us to yell, threaten, judge and issue consequences. Join us this week to explore a few common moments of sibling conflict that drive us all bonkers -- a toddler hitting the…
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FREE TO CONTRIBUTE // Support personal responsibility, collaboration + self-motivation in the home
39:59
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Today we’re back as we explore our kids’ FREEDOM TO CONTRIBUTE! Does your kid struggle to clean up after themself? To pitch in to the household? How can we avoid either 1. Letting it ALL GO or 2. Getting in there so hard it makes contributing to the family FEEL TERRIBLE? Join us to explore the middle way -- The ways we are endeavoring to build skil…
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RESIST Q&A // Tantrums in the freedom to feel
33:07
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Today we explore our kids’ FREEDOM TO FEEL! This is the Q&A wrap-up to our weekly episode where we dive deep into our kids’ (and our!) struggles with big feelings. We explore how tantrums are a gift-- an opportunity to nurture our nervous systems, build emotional intelligence skills and maintain our connection through it all. The big question is HO…
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FREE TO FEEL // Support emotional intelligence through self-regulation & emotion coaching
48:01
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48:01
Today we’re back as we explore our kids’ FREEDOM TO FEEL! Does your kid struggle with big feelings? Do YOU struggle with their big feelings, not to mention your own? This week we explore how BIG FEELINGS are a gift-- an opportunity to nurture our nervous systems, build emotional intelligence and maintain our connection through it all. How can we se…
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RESIST Q&A // Risky play + bored kids resisting solo time in the freedom to play
39:14
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Today we explore our kids’ FREEDOM TO PLAY! This is the Q&A wrap-up to our weekly episode where we deep dive into our kids struggles with independent play. This week, we explore why PLAY is being proven to be a gift -- an opportunity for development of self-esteem, socialization, autonomy, creativity and confidence for our kids. How can we balance …
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FREE TO PLAY // Support independent play, confidence and creativity through parenting + discipline
47:48
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Today we’re back as we explore our kids’ FREEDOM TO PLAY! Does your child struggle with independent play? Do YOU struggle with the sometimes crazy, messy and worrisome aspects of their playtime? This week, we explore why PLAY is being proven to be a gift -- an opportunity for development of self-esteem, socialization, autonomy, creativity and confi…
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RESIST Q&A // Picky eating + bedtime resistance in the freedom to nourish
35:30
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35:30
Today we’re back as we explore our kids’ FREEDOM TO NOURISH. This is the Q&A wrap-up to our weekly episode where we deep dive into struggles with bedtime, mealtime, hygiene, diapers and beyond -- challenges that can lead us to over-control and undermine our kids’ sacred somatic intuition (a connection to their own bodies). How can we balance our re…
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FREE TO NOURISH // Support body attunement + healthy value-building through discipline + parenting
29:50
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Today we’re back as we explore our kids’ FREEDOM TO NOURISH. Struggles with bedtime, mealtime, hygiene, diapers and beyond can lead us to over-control and undermine our kids’ sacred somatic intuition -- a connection to their own bodies. How can we balance our responsibility to keep them clean, fed, rested and happy while ALSO finding ways that they…
