Welcome to Caffeinated Caregivers, with your hosts Erica Stearns and Alyssa Nutile, two caregivers and parents to medically complex children who are out here, ready to build a community of caregivers to empower each other and advocate for better support — for themselves and those they care for. Each month, we'll bringing you stories, research, resources, and hopefully a few laughs too as we chat with medical professionals, disabled adults, AND other caregivers who are laugh-crying their way ...
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This is the real, raw, and all the feels of loving a child with disabilities. Episodes feature parent-guests, professionals, and solo episodes with host Madeline Cheney. Their authentic conversations don’t shy away from the strong and mixed emotions that often accompany medically-complex parenting. Parents listen in to feel seen, validated, and receive much-needed solidarity. Professionals working with disabled people listen in to better understand what is often going on under the surface fo ...
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169: Crunchy Medical Parenthood w/ Suzi Boubion and Julianna Morasse
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Imagine with us: You have a shelf full of tinctures, a book of natural remedies, and plan to use holistic medicine to care for your family as much as possible... and then you have a medically complex child who requires intense medical intervention, specialist appointments, and a whole host of pharmaceuticals. This is where Suzi Boubion and Julianna…
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168: Stephanie T.’s Story | Undiagnosed Son, a Ballroom + Fully Accepting the Now
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Stephanie’s family had big plans before her son Garrett was born. A business idea, a roadmap laid out, and the world felt wide open before them. And then... things changed. Garrett was born with a (still undiagnosed) medical complexity that requires intense, round-the-clock care. Trauma ensued. Tears were shed. And tough decisions were made, as Ste…
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167: What We Want New Medical Parents to Know w/ Chandra Bloomfield
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When we first enter this world of medical uncertainty as parents, no one gives us a handbook. None one holds our hand to walk us through what to expect, what is coming next, and what life might look like going forward. So we asked this community, if you could go back to the beginning –knowing what you know now– what would you tell yourself as a bra…
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166: Nonspeaking Child | Longing to Access Their Inner World + Give Them Medical Autonomy w/ Suzi Boubion
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How do you give your child medical autonomy when they struggle to communicate? How do you determine their preferences when they cannot explain their inner thoughts to you? How do you help them when they cannot tell you where their pain is? These are the questions that keep today’s guest, Suzi Bubion, up at night. Her son, Oliver, is nonspeaking, an…
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165: What We Want Our Child’s Therapists to Know, But Don’t Tell Them w/ Alex Farha
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Have you ever wanted to tell your child’s therapist *exactly* how you feel about therapy homework? Or remind them just how many other therapy appointments you have scheduled this week. Or maybe just explain to them that... you want to be mom, not play the role of therapist today. In today’s episode, I’m joined with guest and fellow disability paren…
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164: Jillian’s Story | Medical Mom x 2 and the Saying “Someone Always Has It Worse”
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Before we have children, most of us never envision what it would be like to raise a disabled child...and certainly not two of them with the same degenerative disease (Acid Sphingomyelinase Deficiency, ASMD for short, also sometimes called Niemann Pick Disease Type A/B). But this is the exact situation Jillian Arnold foundherself in after the birth …
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Season 10 Kickoff | Episode Sneak Peaks, Newsletters + ISO a Final Board Member w/ Alyssa Nutile
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It’s time for Season 10! And once again, we’re coming back to the topic of our children’s disabilities and medical complexities. We have episodes on what we wish therapists knew, being a “crunchy” parent with medical complex children, some heart-wrenching story episodes, and a few *spicy* (and currently secret) episodes that’ll come out toward the …
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Summer Mini #12: Adjusting to Disability Parenting as a Single Mom | Maddison’s Catch-Up
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It’s only been a year since we’ve heard from Maddison... but oh the things that can change in a year. Shortly after we initially recorded Maddison’s story, she and her husband separated. And the life that Maddison and her daughter knew before with a team of two parents working side by side and supporting each other, it just didn’t look the same any…
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Summer Mini #11: Family Planning Decisions + Changing Sibling Relationships | Madeline’s Catch-Up
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Three years ago, I shared two episodes about my ownfamily: one where I discussed how I discovered that I was a carrier for my son’s condition, and another where I talked about how much my older daughter struggled with accepting her brother. In the years since, we’ve navigated difficult decisions and agonizing choices, and now, for once, we feel som…
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Summer Mini #10: Finding a New Home + Starting Over | Tiffany’s Catch-Up
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When we last spoke to Tiffany, she was still trying to find something that felt like solid ground after going through a divorce right before the birth of her medically complex daughter. She and her two children were living in a trailer and trying to answer the question: What now? In this catch-up episode, Tiffany shares how much haschanged in these…
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Ep 11: Tricky Feelings Around Disability Pride and Where Caregivers Fit In
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It's the last day of Disability Pride Month, which is appropriate considering that we at Caffeinated Caregivers have been avoiding talking about this topic all month. To be honest, Disability Pride has got us up in our feels a little bit, because as disabled adults who are also caregivers to disabled kids, it brings up a lot of conflicting and conf…
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Summer Mini #9: Our Complicated Relationship with Medically Complex Facebook Groups
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You know that thing that you can’t seem to live without,but also don’t want to live with most of the time? That seems to describe the relationship most of us have with the medically complex and rare disease Facebook group community. In this episode, we’re sharing all your thoughts,feelings, and frustrations with these crucial, life-saving, and yet …
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Summer Mini #8: Rebuilding After Life-Changing Loss | Kari’s Catch-Up
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Kari was one of our very first guests almost four yearsago now. When we talked then, her daughter Sloan was still tiny, her husband was still alive, and the Covid-19 pandemic hadn’t happened yet. And now? Well, her entire world has changed in big and small ways. In this catch-up episode, Kari shares with us what it’sbeen like trying to relearn how …
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Summer Mini #7: Everything You’ve Ever Wanted to Know About Madeline
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Each week, I share a new episode and guest, but Irealized that it’s been a long time since I’ve shared much of me, Madeline, with you. So today, I’m peeling back the curtain today and sharing all sorts of fun (and maybe a few not so fun) facts about me, my life, and my family. I’m sharing what motherhood looks like these days, traitsthat I do and d…
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Summer Mini #6: The Oddly Specific Things We Grieve as Parents of Medically Complex Kids
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There’s plenty of grief that we expect as parents of medically complex kids... But what about those little pangs that seem to come out of nowhere? In this mini episode, we’re sharing the surprising and often oddly specific things we grieve as parents of medically complex children, from missing out on birthdays to struggling at beach trips. This is …
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Ep 10: Mental Health Breaking Points & Overcoming Fear Around Asking for Support with Karley Henderson
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This week, we're not bringing you stats or data or research... we're just bringing ourselves and our friend Karley. Because the truth is, data can only tell you so much, but for the three of us, some of the most impactful information we've ever received about navigating this caregiving life is through other's individual experiences. So today, we're…
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Summer Mini #5: Childhood Cancer + Changing Perspectives | Vanessa’s Catch-Up
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After learning to accept and manage her younger daughter’s disabilities, Vanessa thought she had a pretty good understanding of what it was like to raise a child with rare medical issues. But a diagnosis of childhood lymphoma for her older daughter turned all those notions upside down. In this short catch up with Vanessa, she’s sharing the way that…
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Summer Mini #4: Birthdays for Our Medically Complex Kids and the Many Emotions They Can Bring Up
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Birthdays, as we understand them societally, are a timefor celebrating, but it’s not so straightforward for all parents of medically complex kids. Birthdays can carry so much baggage, from feelings of isolationto reminders of difficult hospital stays to a resurgence of anticipatory grief. In this episode, we’re sharing all your thoughts and feeling…
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Summer Mini #3: A Close Call, Feelings of Regret + Embracing Second Chances | Suzi’s Catch-Up
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If you’re thinking about traveling with your disabled ormedically complex child this summer but you don’t know what you’ll need or how to plan, we’ve got your back! In this episode, we’re sharing the top ten things youneed to make traveling just a little easier and lighter. This quick episode will make your planning process so much easier. And for …
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Summer Mini #2: 10 Must-Haves for Traveling with Your Medically Complex Child This Summer
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If you’re thinking about traveling with your disabled ormedically complex child this summer but you don’t know what you’ll need or how to plan, we’ve got your back! In this episode, we’re sharing the top ten things youneed to make traveling just a little easier and lighter. This quick episode will make your planning process so much easier. And for …
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Summer Mini #1: What We Wish We Could Go Back and Tell Ourselves
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When we first start out in this rare life, it’s often terrifying. Everything is coming at us so fast, and sometimes you have to wonder: does it ever get better? Do things ever even out? It might feel impossible in those scary early days, but looking back, many of us have found a new perspective since then. Today, I’m sharing thoughts from this comm…
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162: Season 9 Finale | A Season of Growth, Listener Thoughts + Summer Mini-Episodes w/ Alyssa Nutile
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We’re finally rounding out Season 9, and whata season it’s been. The topic of this season was relationships, and perhaps as expected, the episodes this season were weighty, tender, and so touching. And besides the production of the podcast, we were busy coming into our own with some big milestones for The Rare Life as a nonprofit with grant submiss…
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161: Having a Nondisabled Child After Your Disabled Child + Conflicting Feelings That Brings w/ Brianna Alcox
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When you have a medically complex child, you probably have some realization that the experience you have with your child isn’t “typical.” But sometimes, it’s hard to understand just how different from the “norm” it was, until another child comes along – particularly one without disabilities or medical complexities. In this episode, Brianna, a mom o…
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160: Ashley Smith’s Story | Sibling Dynamics, Nontraditional Gender Roles, + Not Knowing What to Grieve
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After Ashley Smith’s son Deacon was admitted to the NICU, and one thing after another cascaded out of control with his care, she found herself literally screaming in the nursery “THIS IS NOT MY PLAN!” While not all of us have screamed this out loud, so many of us have had a similar breaking point, where the weight of fear and grief and lost expecta…
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159: Sharing the Mental Load with Your Partner in Disability Parenting w/ Amanda Griffith-Atkins + Will Atkins
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Nothing breeds resentment faster than one member of a romantic partnership feeling like they're pulling all the weight in one area of life. And when it comes to the parents of medically complex kids, that resentment can compound even faster, especially as the mental load of navigating medical care often falls onto one partner. (Let’s be real: it’s …
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158: Serena’s Story | Disability Advocate Turned Disability Parent, a Degenerative Diagnosis, + the Power of Now
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Before she had her son, Serena was already a pediatric SLP, business owner, and disability advocate who spent her time empowering families to understand and become more comfortable with their children’s disabilities. So, she was prepared for anything, or so she thought. But as it turns out, no amount of education or experience can prepare you for t…
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157: Friendships with People Who Don’t Have Disabled Kids w/ Jillian Arnold
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Friendship, especially with those who don’t have disabled children, gets more complicated once you’ve had your own child with disabilities. It’s not necessarily fair, but it doesn’t change the fact that we often end up interacting differently with friends we had before our children were born. In this episode of The Rare Life, I’m joined by Jillian …
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Ep 9: Mental Health Vibe Check: The State of Caregiver Mental Health & the Supports That Keep Us Going in 2024
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Hey caregiver. How are you doing? No, we mean, how are you *really* doing? Because according to the research (both our informal research and the many published academic studies), mental health for caregivers isn't great. The "why" probably isn't surprising: lack of support, stress, poor health for our children, lack of time, and a ton of other barr…
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156: Should I Get a Divorce? Insight + Solidarity from Divorced Medically Complex Parents w/ Amanda Griffith-Atkins
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Making the decision to leave your partner is no small thing, but sometimes, the rifts that come from the stresses of life as medically complex parents can erode our relationships. So how do you know if divorce is an option, and where do you start if you’re exploring that possibility? In this episode, Amanda Griffith-Atkins joins me to share advice …
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155: Aneesa’s Story | A Terminal Diagnosis + Dark Clouds and Silver Linings
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When her son Jeremiah was first born, Aneesa had no medical training or experience. But as it became clear that something was out of the ordinary with Jeremiah’s health, she did what so many of us do when our kids need support: she started advocating and asking questions. Eventually through her research and advocacy, her son was diagnosed with a ra…
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154: Deaths in the Community | How it Affects Us + Our Relationship with the Parents w/ Rose Watson
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As heart-breaking as it is, if you’ve been in the rare disease community for long enough, you probably know someone, maybe even someone close to you, who has lost a child. And because that potential reality looms large for so many of us, this loss can affect us as well. In this episode, Rose Watson, whose daughter Lavender has Trisomy 18, joins me …
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Ep 8: Facing Uncertainty in Caregiving: IEPs, Social Security, and In-Home Nursing, Oh My!
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When it comes to being a caregiver to a medically complex and/or disabled child especially in 2024, life can feel.... uncertain. Covid-era legislation that helped caregivers in many states is now being rolled back, support that our families and children need to thrive can be taken away at a moment's notice, and the threat of unexpected changes can …
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153: Hurtful Things Loved Ones Say and Do | How it Affects Us + What to Do About It w/ Amanda Griffith-Atkins
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Have you ever been in a conversation with someone close to you only to be cut to your core by their offhand commentary about your disabled child, their medical issues, or the life you and your child have? Friend, you are not alone. In Ep 153 of The Rare Life, Amanda Griffith-Atkins, whose sone has Prader-Willis syndrome, joins us to address some of…
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152: Stephanie’s Story | A Stroke in Utero, Recurring Medical Trauma + No Space To Process It
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Finding out your baby had a life-altering stroke in utero brings shock, heartache, and a whole lot of guilt. But when the medical trauma keeps coming after that initial diagnosis, year after year, hospital visit after hospital visit, there’s rarely time to work through all of those complicated feelings. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In Ep 152 of The Rare Life, Stephan…
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151: Fostering Friendships with Other Disability Parents w/ Kate Livingstone and Kari Harbath
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We all need friends... but not just any friends. We need friends who just get it and don’t need us to explain every little aspect of our life to understand. In short, we need friends who are also parents to disabled and medically complex children. But how do we find and make those friends? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In Ep 151 of The Rare Life, I sit down with Kari …
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150: Siblings | Listening + Learning from Glass Children w/ Megan Schneider
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We talk all the time about our disabled children in this space... But what about their non-disabled siblings? In today's episode of The Rare Life, we're going to hear from them directly: about the good, the hard, the unexpected, and about just how much they love their disabled brothers and sisters. We heard from nearly thirty siblings, from toddler…
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Mini Episode: A Sprint to the Finish for Our Family and Friends Fundraiser!
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Only two days left in the Family and Friends fundraiser, and while we’re overjoyed and awed at how successful this fundraiser has been, we’re still 10% away from our goal! If you haven’t joined in on this fundraiser yet, it’s not too late. You’d be amazed at what you can accomplish in 48 hours, so will you join us for this final sprint to the finis…
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149: Annie’s Story | Physician Mom, Infertility, + Comparison Between Twins
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Imagine spending years trying to get pregnant, following every protocol, and struggling through the heartache of not being able to build your family. Then, finally, after all the difficulty, you get to have two beautiful twin girls, and you think maybe, “This is it! The struggle is over!” But, because life isn’t always fair, you find out soon after…
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Mini Episode: An Exciting Update for Our Family and Friends Fundraiser!
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Less than a week into our Family and Friends fundraiser, and we have some super exciting news to share! If you haven’t joined in on this fundraiser yet, we’ve got a list of ways you can get involved, plus some helpful tips to make it all a little easier! Get more info at https://therarelife.org/fundraiser. Thank you so much, friends! Links: Join us…
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148: The Family + Friends Perspective | What it’s Like to Watch us Navigate Life with Our Medically-Complex Children w/ Kassie Harbath
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Our kids touch the lives of everyone around us, but especially our close family and friends. But we don’t always get to hear that perspective from the outside. So on this episode of The Rare Life, we’ll finally get to hear from those close to us about what it was like to watch us endure trauma, explore parenthood with a medically complex child, and…
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147: Sex + Disability Parenting | All the Ways It Takes a Hit + Ways to Reclaim It w/ Amanda Griffith-Atkins
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If you feel like you’re missing out on sexual intimacy in your life since entering your medically complex or disability parenting journey, you are not alone! We took a poll on Instagram and 90% of respondents said that their sex life had been impacted by medically complex life. The reasons for this impact are endless: no time, no energy, no space, …
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146: The Dad Perspective w/ Derek Dizney, Zach Schneider, + Juston Cheney
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When it comes to parenting children with rare disease, there’s often a lot of focus on the moms and their experiences around birth, the diagnostic process, and the work of giving care. One group we hear a lot less from? The dads. So in today’s episode, we’re digging in to the Dad side of things. Joined by Derek, whose daughter has intractable epile…
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145: Ashley’s Story | Childhood Dementia, An Ended Marriage, + Learning to Live in The Present
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When Ashley’s daughter Sadie was born, medical complexity took their family by surprise. A hospitalization post-birth eventually led to a life-limiting diagnosis of childhood dementia, and Ashley’s family was turned completely upside down. In this raw and real episode of The Rare Life, Ashley shares what it was like to receive her daughter’s diagno…
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Ep 7: The State of Caregivers and Careers & Why That Matters For Our Medically Complex Kids
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When it comes to the careers of caregivers… things are complicated. While some caregivers are able to maintain a wide variety of careers with the help of flexible work, home health nursing, understanding employers, and other supports, it’s not like that for every caregiver, including those who need income desperately. And on the other hand, the sys…
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144: Season 9 Kickoff | This Season’s Theme, Our Friends + Family fundraiser, & a Sneak Peek of Upcoming Episodes w/ Alyssa Nutile
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It’s wild to think about, but we’re kicking off Season 9 of The Rare Life! And this season, it’s all about relationships. Relationships with your child, your spouse, your peers, your friends, your loved ones, and more! We’re not holding anything back, so some of these topics might get a little spicy! Plus, we’re introducing our 2024 Friends + Famil…
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Ep 6: The Caregiver Continuum: This Is Why We’re Always Tired
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The Caregiver Continuum. The continuum on which we as caregivers find ourselves looping around and around… and around again. We’ve gone through it. We’ve watched our fellow caregivers go through it. And today, we’re giving it a name. On this episode of Caffeinated Caregivers, we’re explaining what the Caregiver Continuum is, why it’s such a powerfu…
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When Your Child is Inpatient at Hospital During Holidays or Special Events w/ Amanda Griffith-Atkins [REPLAY]
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There’s not much that feels worse than getting stuck in a hospital during the holiday season or having to miss a special celebration due to appointments or illnesses. Of course, there’s the trauma of being in the hospital again, but it’s also lonely, isolating, and demoralizing to feel like everyone gets to celebrate except for your family. You mig…
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Ep 5: Surviving Thanksgiving (literally), Holiday Hot Takes, and an Idea-versary
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Today’s conversation is a little lighter than usual becaaaaaaaause Erica and Alyssa are both still recovering from the holidays. Alyssa, because she always travels on holidays, and Erica, because she was literally sick the whole week. But don’t worry, this conversation is still packed full of holiday thoughts for you. Erica and Alyssa both share gl…
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Isolating at Home During Holiday Events to Avoid Illness w/ Amanda Griffith-Atkins [REPLAY]
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No one wants to spend the holidays feeling isolated or left out, but the reality for parents of medically complex/disabled children is that we sometimes have to skip events and gatherings for the safety of our kids. On top of that, we’re the ones stuck making the decision whether to stay home or go out, requesting accommodations and assurances to p…
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The Holidays + Why They Can Be Tough for Disability Parents w/ Amanda Griffith-Atkins [REPLAY]
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When you have a child with a disability or other medicalcomplexity, the holidays can feel like a minefield, as trauma triggers, anxiety, and grief for what we wish the holidays could have been for our families lurk around every corner. And on top of that, having to manage schedules, specialdiets, gift expectations, and uncomfortable commentary from…
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