Here’s what I learned from my conversation with Sandy Schnakenburg, author of The Housekeeper's Secret: When you’re writing about a tragic or shocking event, one way to create suspense is to tease that something bad is coming. In the book she had a terrible accident on her bike, and at the beginning of the chapter a character calls out and tells he…

Here’s what I learned from Long Live The Tribe Of Fatherless Girls by T Kira Madden: First lines should make the reader curious to read more. They can be surprising, specific, and/or present a conflict. It’s important to stay in moments longer by going deeper with details and going on tangents that add context. Write unsparingly about yourself to g…

Here’s what I learned from Still Life At Eighty by Abigail Thomas: Revealing the dark parts of yourself in writing makes those things less scary and less powerful. Simple, clear, no-frill writing can be just as powerful and moving as fancy prose. Lean into your style, whatever it may be. Sometimes writing can just be keeping a log of your feelings …

Here’s what I learned from My Salinger Year by Joanna Rakoff: How to write dialogue in a novelistic or cinematic way: Include details about the surrounding area. The weather, scenery, anything the characters interact with, other people in the room. This is especially useful at the start of the scene, and if/when the scene changes. When you add cont…

Sam is back to discuss more marital arguments, though he insists they rarely argue while Charlie insists they argue plenty.

I submitted a personal essay to the New York Times weekly column, Modern Love. In this episode I talk about how I learned about the column, how I decided to submit an essay under my real name, and a little context for what the essay is about. References: 39 Submission Tips for Modern Love Estelle Erasmus interviews: Noah Michelson Joanna Rakoff Abi…

Here’s what I learned from three sobriety memoirs: The Night of the Gun by David Carr: Interview the people from your past. It doesn’t have to be formal or recorded. It could be as simple as a text message to see what they remember about the event. This can accomplish three things: It’s a way to add more details into your story. It allows the perso…

Heres’s what I learned from Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp AND The Elements Of Eloquence by Mark Forsyth. Anaphora is when you start each phrase, sentence, or paragraph with the same word or words. But be careful: readers always remember the opening words but often forget the rest. So when using anaphora, be intentional about what you wan…

Do you want to write under a pseudonym or not? I have been writing as Charlie Bleecker for over four years. If you want to give it a real go, commit to it for a year. Do my friends read my writing? No. Does my family read my writing? No. That is the whole point. If you care at all about growing your audience in a time span of less than 10 years, do…

Here’s what I learned from Life On Delay by John Hendrickson: On Structure: When you open with a big event, where something big is about to happen, it creates suspense. The opening is a pivotal moment. There was life before this moment, and then there’s life after. Around ¾ of the way through the book he comes back to this moment and finishes the s…

Here’s what I learned from How Tracy Austin Broke My Heart by David Foster Wallace: Rather than tell us how bad the memoir was, he lists eight (eight!) examples—all quotes from the book. Later, he explicitly tells us how bad TV interviews of top athletes are, then gives two very long and detailed back-to-back examples to make his point. The best me…

Here’s what I learned from My Fair Junkie by Amy Dresner: Amy Dresner is the second memoirist I’ve read who had a life changing moment with a breathwork teacher—Glennon Doyle was the first, in Love Warrior. So I found a breathwork person near me and did it! I don’t know if it was life changing but I definitely had a moment. Character intros should …

Here's what I learned from Lost & Found by Kathryn Schulz: Create tension by pairing repetition with opposites. Add playfulness by pairing something literal with something figurative. Show don’t tell: how can you show us you’re crying without telling us? Also… an update on my memoir!

Here’s what I learned from In The Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado: I can write a cohesive story that is made up of little stories, all strung together with a unifying theme. When writing about moments of inebriation or vulnerability, it’s funny to include present-tense comments of your thoughts at the time, like a question you thought, or somet…

Here's what I learned from A Life's Work by Rachel Cusk: -Sometimes your experience of something is enough, sometimes it’s all there is. You don’t have to share wisdom or lessons; you could just tell people what happened, and there's value in that. -When you include disclaimers you water down the thing you were trying to say. It takes away from the…

Sam is back! And Charlie sucks at parenting.

Here’s what I learned from The Liars’ Club by Mary Karr: If I want to tell stories from my past that involve family members, I can ask them how they remember the same story and include their perspective by saying things like, “If I gave my big sister a paragraph here, she would correct my memory. To this day, she claims…” or “Lecia says that…” or “…

Here’s what I learned from Cheryl Strayed: “The hardest part about memoir is the unfortunate fact that other people exist.” Every time she writes about anyone other than herself she asks herself a series of questions— Will this hurt our relationship? Will this unfairly invade someone's privacy? Will I be able to tell this story in such a way that i…

Here's what I learned from What Remains by Carole Radziwill: -The best prologue I’ve read so far because of her journalistic style of writing. -Structure is so important. It should be seamless, unnoticeable; surprising but not confusing. Never linear. -Rather than attempt to describe visceral moments from my life where I’ve “cried so hard,” I can s…

Memoir deep dive #8 Here’s what I learned from The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls: -When you leave out thoughts and feelings it evokes big emotions from the reader. -Action and dialogue drive a story—not thoughts and feelings. -If you want to drop a bomb, bury it. Make it subtle, within a sentence. Say it and move on. -A long list can evoke big em…

Memoir deep dive #7 Here's what I learned from Born Standing Up by Steve Martin: -Breaking the 4th wall is when the writer addresses the reader directly. It's intimate, it's funny, and a lot of comedic writers do it. It's a fun way to make the reader feel like they're a part of the story. -The best way to be sarcastic in writing is to be subtle abo…

Memoir deep dive #6 Here's what I learned from Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle: -Her book structure was as follows: Prelude (her wedding day) Part 1 :The Before Image (childhood to rock bottom, to pregnant, to marrying Craig) Part 2: The Explosion (being sober and married and a mom is hard, writing is the light in her life, and then the bomb is dropp…

Memoir deep dive #5 Here's what I learned from The Tender Bar by J.R. Moehringer: - Repetition can have a lyrical effect, which makes your writing read almost like a poem. It's also a fun tool when writing as a drunk person, because drunk people repeat themselves. - Analogies are a descriptive way to be more specific and visual, and avoid cliches. …

Charlie has a conundrum: she wants to cultivate friendships but also loves all of her "me" time. Later, she and Sam get slightly heated about Charlie's visit from her family.

Here's what I learned from Finding Me by Viola Davis: - Never write: "Words can't describe..." because that's what writing is. It's describing things. - Show don't tell. Show the reader something is important with your words, not punctuation marks. - If you have an amazing story to tell but you're not a very good writer, consider hiring a ghost wri…

This dude is funny. Subscribe to Alex's newsletter if you haven't already. Make sure you upgrade to paid because he really needs the money.

Here's what I learned from Crying In H Mart: -Food is a very visual theme she uses throughout the book. What's a visual theme I could use in my book? -Specific, observational details are interesting and engaging. -Whenever you write about a person, you have to show the good and bad. People are never one-dimensional. -Litter your book with continuou…

Sam and Charlie learned about a new term: "Casuals." They heard about it on episode 65 of Eric Jorgenson's podcast, Smart Friends, and now they can't stop talking about it. Also, spoiler alert: lots of The Bear references in here.

In these memoir deep dives I highlight my takeaways from the book and how I can apply what I learn to writing my own memoir. Here's what I learned from Greenlights: - Coin a term for the title of your book. - Open with a powerful, visual scene. - "The choices we make write the chapters." - Take creative liberties: experiment with more dialogue! - R…

Charlie and Sam discuss risk-taking (Charlie loves to take risks in her creative endeavors but not in her personal relationships), their lack of friends and community (they gotta get out of the suburbs) and their relationships with money (they just hired a personal chef and will tell no one).

Charlie is going to write a memoir. What better way to learn about memoir than to read them and reflect on them? In this episode, Charlie talks about what resonated from the book Wild by Cheryl Strayed, and how her notes can help her as she thinks about her own writing. This new format was inspired by David Senra's Founders Podcast. If you haven't …

Charlie forgets to press record on the first hour of her conversation with Polina. No matter! Polina is a gem. They talk about how they write and their relationships with alcohol. Polina shares her thoughts on personal writing and failure. And they end with a new segment they came up with together called Slow Burn And Smooth Jazz. You won't want to…

Charlie and Sam discuss a recent Tim Ferriss Show podcast episode with CEO Coach Matt Mochary. But mostly they get unintentionally meta about podcasting.

Charlie hates hates hates hates hates feeling stupid. And she did something REALLY stupid this week. References: I Hate Feeling Stupid Shrinking on Apple TV

Randy is one of Charlie's new online writer friends. They discuss the purpose of their writing, their experience of making friends through Write of Passage, and their mutual hatred of Twitter.

How do you prepare for something like a normal person? Charlie sure as heck doesn't know. Eventually, she and Sam talk about ambition. Then Sam gets quite taken aback when Charlie admits that sometimes, when she's REALLY pissed off at him, she thinks he sucks. References: Bill Simmons on How I Built This Life Advice with Ryen Russillo Stokke Tripp …

Charlie wants to get vulnerable in 2023. In this episode she expresses her feelings around sending Layla to daycare, an upcoming family reunion, and why podcasting is so hard.

We've arrived at the most wonderful time of the year! Hear Sam and Charlie's thoughts on Santa Claus, gift-giving, and Christmas movies. And get ready, Charlie sings her own Christmas classic, The Reindeer Rap. You heard it here first! Merry Christmas, you guys, thanks for listening. :) References: Way Of The Warrior Kid by Jocko Willink Weatherman…

Rachel Morris (referred to as "Rebecca" in past episodes), joins Charlie and Sam to discuss her sailing adventures, childhood education, talking to kids like they're people, and self-checkout at the grocery store.

Sam and Charlie hired a nanny and they love her. They share their insights on the hiring process and what they look for. They also skipped town for two nights and went to Miami. It was their first trip away from their babies (it's been almost three years!). While there, Charlie finally met some online friends IRL. They left the dinner invigorated, …

Charlie and Sam are joined by Charlie's best friend of all time, Kylie. Kylie and and Charlie met in 2nd grade and still remain the closest of friends. They talk about their hometown friendships and why Kylie never left. How does personal growth happen without ever leaving the place where you grew up? Then they open up about their relationships wit…

Our first guests are on the podcast! Charlie's college roommate "Ellie" and her husband "Norm" visit the Bleeckers for a weekend getaway with the kids. References: SNL sketch: Father-Son Podcasting Microphone

It's Mother's Day. Before the family goes out to dinner at The Melting Pot, Charlie and Sam talk about their successful experiment to not eat sweets for a week. How will they approach desserts with their kids? In other news, Teacher Appreciation Week is dumb, Sam and Charlie discuss a marital argument (Sam is impatient and Charlie is a poor communi…

The Bleeckers got COVID. It sucked, but it could be worse. Charlie and Sam talk about their bad habits with sweets and their relationship with alcohol (not great, but they've come a long way). George has gotten particular with his food preferences which makes mealtime a struggle. They debate whether George is speaking words yet, and Sam calls Charl…

Charlie and Sam discuss the mindfuck that is sleep training your baby. Then Charlie opens up about her chronic neck pain and anxiety and explores what it means to live a happy life. She ends with a song. You're welcome. References: Boyd Varty on The Tim Ferriss Show Zero-based budgeting The Disease of More…

Charlie shares her hypothesis about sleep training babies. She and Sam discuss why lowering their expectations resulted in a more enjoyable visit from her parents, even though Charlie blew it when her parents expressed genuine interest in her writing. Sam is stressed out - his fund isn't doing well. And they watched an amazing movie you've probably…

Charlie and Sam share something with the listeners they haven't shared with anyone else. Then they discuss ways to encourage a loving, supportive relationship among their kids, even though neither of them are close with their siblings. A story from a listener about an in-law relationship has them stumped. They end with a fun chat about pseudonyms. …

Charlie struggles with her need to be liked and Sam admits a recent parenting fail with the newborn. They excitedly discuss a new purchase: suitcases!! Then Charlie tells the story of how she and Sam met and tries to articulate some thoughts around the idea that "timing is everything." References: The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fu…

Charlie and Sam are back! With a baby! They talk about Charlie's identity crisis, their toddler's first week at daycare and judgment from the family, the best parenting book ever (according to Sam), and a recent argument that made Charlie feel angry and defensive (shocker). Then Charlie ends with a quick embarrassing story. She's got lots. Referenc…

The podcasting honeymoon phase is over for Charlie and Sam! They got into a massive argument this week and things got ugly before they eventually (finally) resolved it. They talk about their recent parenting struggle: finding the perfect nanny. And end by dreaming about their "rich life." References: I Will Teach You To Be Rich with Ramit Sethi (po…