Best Hail Merry Podcasts (2024)

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Episode Two Hundred Seventy-One: Things That Goosebump in the Night 2 2:41:44

1M ago2:41:44

2:41:44

So, Slappy haunted my dreams as a kid, that’s no surprise. I’ll talk about that forever. I’ll talk about how the Goosebumps TV show haunted me as a kid. That’s fine. Curse me, if you will. But maybe it is all rose-tinted shades from here on out or really, what are a couple of 30-year old men doing reading Goosebumps anyway? Are we really that far o…

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Episode Two Hundred Seventy: A Very Merry Pastas Part Eleven 1:30:47

4M ago1:30:47

1:30:47

I’m gonna make that joke about how I drug myself every Christmas Eve, now. Well, I guess I already did, didn’t I? Christmas is supposed to be a day about getting together with the family or those close enough to be blood, and sharing some special time with each other where you don’t just sniff each others farts and lick each others assholes. I mean…

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Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Nine: A Very Merry Pastas Part Ten 1:44:47

4M ago1:44:47

1:44:47

I’d make a joke about how I drug myself every Christmas Eve, but it seems too easy. The truth is, I drug myself throughout this entire season. I can’t stand it, to be honest. The entire capitalist, competitive spirit of gift-giving mixed with overbearing debt and rising suicide rates and low mental health for the entirety of winter keeps me as drea…

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Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Eight: Hail to the King 3 2:15:53

5M ago2:15:53

2:15:53

BUT YOU’VE GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS. Ain’t that right people? Today’s episode introduces us to a new guest that needs a perfect introduction in an otherwise perfect little contained episode. Royale w/ Cheese wanted to get broken in on some of the King and who am I to supply him with anything but. This is the third time we’re reading King, as we’ve read T…

1
Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Seven: Hell-o-ween Weekend 1:52:22

5M ago1:52:22

1:52:22

The world is changed. I feel it in the creeps. I feel it in the pasta. I smell it in the weed. Much that once was across the fucking planet is now here, for those of us crazy enough to accept it. It began with the forging of a spooky podcast. Three close friends gathered, seeking immortality amongst the internet sovereign. Seven trolls, great troub…

1
Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Six: Halloween Horror Nights Retrospective 3176:15:11

6M ago3176:15:11

3176:15:11

Today is a personal episode for me. I don’t share much about my personal life and I do that on purpose as to not mix what it is about performing on this show with what it means for me to live my life as myself. You see, what I do here on this program is put on a performance, much like in my life, to display that of a regular, spooky-loving dude. Bu…

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Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Five: Happy Halloween, Danny 2448:54:47

6M ago2448:54:47

2448:54:47

What can I say, I’m sentimental. I appreciate nostalgia. I like to get back to the classics every once in a while, remind myself where we came from and what we grew out of. And that’s why we’re going to read some dumb ass, stupid ass stories on todays episode. Really get the blood flowing, you know? These are all submissions and recommendations fro…

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Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Four: The Devil and the Details 1:16:54

6M ago1:16:54

1:16:54

So, the Devil walks into a bar. No, that isn’t the start to a joke or anything, I’m literally telling you the Devil just walked into the bar. Fine, don’t believe me. But let me tell you, she looks hot as hell. What can I say, a fiery redhead always makes my tongue dry. And what better to whet the whistle than some whiskey. That’ll do the trick. Let…

1
Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Three: Halloween Horror Nights Hollywood 2023 1:45:29

7M ago1:45:29

1:45:29

I’VE BEEN AWAY. TO A DISTANT LAND. You might even say, WHEREAMI? No, really, you might say that, cause he is here too. Where? CALIFORNIA, BITCHES. We went to Disneyland cause he’s never been but ALSO we went to Super Nintendo World because that’s over here too. OH, NO, BUT REALLY, the thing that this episode is about - obviously. Look at the title.…

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Episode Two Hundred Sixty-Two: It Isn't a Podcast 1:13:00

8M ago1:13:00

1:13:00

Quick episode gets quick write-up intro. Tom Bongbadil was in town, I strapped him down to a chair and made him read with me. That’s it. Wanna fight about it? I wouldn’t. We read two no sleep stories this episode, and both are OKAY. Nothing ground breaking, nothing amazing, but fun to read nonetheless. OH, and the episode begins with a nostalgic br…

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Episode Two Hundred Sixty-One: Not Hot But Spicy, Bb Vol. 8 1:58:23

8M ago1:58:23

1:58:23

What can I say about Not Hot But Spicy forums that hasn’t been said in this episode or any of the other 7 episodes? Nothing. That’s right, NOTHING. If you’ve gotten this far, you know what we’re all about and I’m not gonna pretend like you don’t. Well, I am, in the episode itself I am, yes, but for this short description and time-stamp list, I’m go…

1
Episode Two Hundred Sixty: Deputy on Duty Part Three 1754:14:35

9M ago1754:14:35

1754:14:35

You ever get released from your really strict and kinda crazy mental asylum just to go to another mental asylum that isn’t as bad? Me too. I have feelings about this ending. They’re not good feelings. They’re feelings I usually associate with bowel movements. You wanna talk OWLS? Nah, me neither. They’re weird and boring and like to throw up. I mea…

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Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Nine: Deputy on Duty Part Two 2:22:43

9M ago2:22:43

2:22:43

You ever get blamed for a murder you didn’t commit and get institutionalized because you plead insanity instead of going to jail? Yeah, me neither. I wonder where we’re going to go from here. Who can tell what is real and what is not, especially when that was kinda the point of the first ‘part’ of this series. Mineral Wells lingers as much as the C…

1
Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Eight: Deputy on Duty Part One 2:29:42

9M ago2:29:42

2:29:42

You ever get stopped by the cops and have no idea what’s going on despite having just fled a murder scene and know you’re completely innocent and that ghosts are to blame? Yeah, me either. Deputy Dewey stopped me on the way home today and said he wanted to check my trunk for some bones and I thought it was a euphemism for anal and let’s just get to…

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Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Seven: Of Demon and Dearest 2:07:57

9M ago2:07:57

2:07:57

How do YOU feel about fossils, folks? I feel pretty good about them, myself. They’re bones, I’m bones, so we’re all bones. I get that. I feel good about that, like I said. I also feel pretty good about the stories we read on this episode. Yeah, we get off track as per the usual, but we read some really great stuff today and I’m excited to see what …

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Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Six: The Nature and the Natural 2:54:16

10M ago2:54:16

2:54:16

Lets get back to what made this show so special in the first place. Let’s pick random stories from a huge list and have no expectations about what we’re getting into and how the title may or may not hit its mark. What? No, that’s not what we always do, even with some of our series! That’s impossible. That could never be the truth. We can’t possibly…

1
Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Five: Taken to Ransom Part Two 2:03:03

10M ago2:03:03

2:03:03

Is this going to be better or more exciting than the other part? No, not really. I’m just laying it all out there that we totally didn’t know what we were getting into and that’s why it’s so disappointing now that we’re on the other side. This is probably even the same author from the first part revisiting his same story/ARG years later and trying …

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Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Four: Taken to Ransom Part One 2:55:57

11M ago2:55:57

2:55:57

What can I say about this next series with WhereAmi? That already hasn’t been said on some of his other episodes… We’re easily excitable. We over-exaggerate. We use hyperbole a bunch. We’re eager. We get into the hype. And that… honestly, promotes a set up for disappointment. And that disappointment usually comes in the form of #wasdemons. Yes, fol…

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Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Three: From Midnight to Afternoon 1:35:59

11M ago1:35:59

1:35:59

New season, new talent. What can I say? We gotta keep the train rolling and we gotta keep picking up passengers and sharing the load. Fucking fat load, you know what I’m saying. Fucking HUGE load for Lotsa Pasta, right? RIGHT. So who better to spread that load than a married couple. First married couple on the show? That’s cute. And you know one of…

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Episode Two Hundred Fifty-Two: Always More in Store 1:42:08

11M ago1:42:08

1:42:08

What better way to break up a massive sausage fest with a bunch of hunky boys than by calling in our favorite resident soul sucking temptress from the deep: Cannibal Siren. I know it probably only seems like a single episode between our last reading of STORIES TO READ ALONE AT NIGHT but I was excited after talking to Mark over at One-Page-Wonder(th…

1
Episode Two Hundred Fifty-One: Welcome to the Square 4:29:49

12M ago4:29:49

4:29:49

WELCOME TO THE THUNDER-DOME, FUCKERS. I mean, uh, scratch that, uh, welcome to the… square? Right, that’s what this is called? Yeah. The SQUARE. Not the cube, we didn’t have time for that. That’s too much. I’m lazy. We needed something that did less. Thus, the Square. If you’ve seen the cube, you get the gist. We wake up. We don’t know where we are…

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Episode Two Hundred Fifty: Interview with a Creeper FT. Stories to Read Alone at Night 2:46:39

1+ y ago2:46:39

2:46:39

What an episode awaits us today, in this new year. The first of its kind, an interview of sorts, we welcome an AUTHOR to join us at the table of tomfuckery. MARK! AKA One Page Wonder AKA Stories to Read Alone at Night author joins us for a brief chat and story today, and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out. What a guy, to sit there and dea…

1
Episode Two Hundred Forty-Nine: A Very Merry Pastas Part Nine 2:05:24

1+ y ago2:05:24

2:05:24

Oh, cum all ye faithful. Cum right here and now, please. Come listen to this week’s Christmas episode. YES, another one of these. And I incorrectly thought it was our tenth - it’s actually our ninth, BIG DEAL. And guess who’s back for another Christmas episode? Tenron Otrin! Yes, for his second Christmas episode! Nice. Oh, and Frowns McBooHoo is he…

1
Episode Two Hundred Forty-Eight: ExtraTERRORestrial V: Deep in Uranus 1:26:48

1+ y ago1:26:48

1:26:48

Aliens. What more do I need to say. They are a wonder to us humans, as there is no definable evidence out there that we are alone or otherwise. That’s why we, here on Lotsa Pasta, like to get stoned and talk about it - because there is no wrong answer. You can never be too calm or too crazy when talking about aliens. Got a personal experience, let’…

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Episode Two Hundred Forty-Seven: Apartment Fuckery Understatement Part Four 2:43:55

1+ y ago2:43:55

2:43:55

It’s the last understatement for this part of the series folks, as we’ve reached our finale on what it means to live in the embodiment of spooky. The atmosphere: spooky. The residents: spooky. The elevator: spooky. The landlord: spooky. Me, I’m well spooked. Cannibal Siren is loving this shit, however, and even though I’m spooked, I am too. This is…

1
Episode Two Hundred Forty-Six: Lindsay Lohan and the Beast from Hell 2:31:40

1+ y ago2:31:40

2:31:40

Mark Rooster has climbed in out of the cold, and I’m trying to talk him into my bedroom like Baby, it’s cold outside. Just like the beautiful, fresh December air that joins Mark Rooster today, he also brings gifts: a veritable Krapmus here to spread the Christmas cheer, eh? For today’s episode is all in thanks to Mark Rooster’s beautiful mind. I’m …

1
Episode Two Hundred Forty-Five: Apartment Fuckery Understatement Part Three 2:11:17

1+ y ago2:11:17

2:11:17

So many twists and turns in this serious, my head is about to spin around like that bitch from The Exorcist, minus the split pea soup. I’m enjoying myself, don’t get me wrong, but we’re losing good characters and putting other good characters in danger almost constantly. Things get a bit more challenging this episode because it looks like our Micha…

1
Episode Two Hundred Forty-Four: A Sumptuous Sacrifice 1:22:03

1+ y ago1:22:03

1:22:03

The kingdom is crippling in debt and it’s all because of this no good inflation. Times they are a changing, Sofa King, and Bob Dylan ain’t the only one suckin and blowin to get by, apparently so is Sofa Prince; I hope to never meet him. As a good host to our good king, I -of course- offered him a sumptuous meal upon his arrival and today we have qu…

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Episode Two Hundred Forty-Three: Apartment Fuckery Understatement Part Two 2:26:34

1+ y ago2:26:34

2:26:34

Part Two and things are getting super cereal. Serial? Yes, the stakes are up. Steaks? More people die and more people get eaten, that’s all I’m trying to say right now. Join Cannibal Siren and I for a quick re-cap and discussion of ideas as we get into what may be going on at the heart of this story. We get new time with new characters and we find …

1
Episode Two Hundred Forty-Two: Not Hot But Spicy, Bb Vol.7 1:48:58

1+ y ago1:48:58

1:48:58

It’s always fun introducing new people to Not Hot But Spicy, because you genuinely never know what you’re going to get. This is one of those things that I think makes our show special because no one probably knows this material exists and no one who wrote these stories on these forums like 15 years ago probably ever expected people to read or narra…

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Episode Two Hundred Forty-One: Apartment Fuckery Understatement Part One 2:38:40

1+ y ago2:38:40

2:38:40

My timing for things is usually ass but I put a lot of thought into when I wanted this series to start and end. One big piece of this goes to Cannibal Siren for literally being one of the best readers I’ve had on the show and for always helping me put shit together, no matter if it’s last minute or months in advance. Another piece of this is the hi…

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Episode Two Hundred Forty: Old-Ass Shady-Ass Tunnel 1:46:12

1+ y ago1:46:12

1:46:12

Let’s have a moment, you and I, here in the dark abyss of this old-ass shady-ass tunnel. A moment of respite to those who we’ve lost on our journey, with a healthy dose of tea; If you don’t mind my sentiment, or lack thereof. People often ask me when certain people are coming back and the truth is, I really don’t know. And worse even, the ones I DO…

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Episode Two Hundred Thirty-Nine: Hail to the King 2 1:59:46

1+ y ago1:59:46

1:59:46

Oh no, what’s that in the water? It’s hairy, it looks like a Dad, and it’s scared as hell. Holy shit. It’s Scutch MacGee, stepping out of the bog and onto our vessel with the utmost urgency. He’s here to join us on another legendary episode of Lotsa Pasta because we’re back to hail the king, baby. And I’m not talking Elvis. Another short story from…

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Episode Two Hundred Thirty-Eight: Lillian's Dead-Zone Part Four 2:08:55

1+ y ago2:08:55

2:08:55

This is the end, my friends. Her name is Lily Madwhip and we’re at the conclusion. It’s been quite an ADHD riddled adventure, hasn’t it? And we’ve seen young Lillian come so far. She’s faced death, and WASDEMONS, and she’s making friends along the way. I hope everyone enjoyed this series, as we surely did. I’m not saying too much purely out of tryi…

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Episode Two Hundred Thirty-Seven: An Unsettling Throwback 1:28:16

1+ y ago1:28:16

1:28:16

It’s always so much fun to record with friends across the country, specifically when you don’t know what you’re going to end up reading. This episode gets into some seriously triggering territory so this is your first and final warning. We do not vet these stories before we read them on the show, as evidenced by the MANY episodes before this one. A…

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Episode Two Hundred Thirty-Six: Lillian's Dead-Zone Part Three 1:25:10

1+ y ago1:25:10

1:25:10

It seems like we close each part of this story on a cliffhanger. Which makes it unusually addicting to listen to, in my opinion. Last episode ended very climax-y. In this third episode, we see a lot of action and a lot of payoff, and it’s not even the ending. We see Meredith finally play her Chekov’s Gun, we see some serious stakes, and we see some…

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Episode Two Hundred Thirty-Five: Games with Ghoulies Part Five 2:02:45

1+ y ago2:02:45

2:02:45

It feels like it was just yesterday that Django and I started the Games with Ghoulies series. The idea was simple: Creepypasta has instruction based rituals as stories sometimes. What if we pretended to do them, what would the outcome be? Death, usually. Spooks, maybe. Comedy, undeniably. And with these games and rituals presented before us, someti…

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Episode Two Hundred Thirty-Four: Lillian's Dead-Zone Part Two 1:42:14

1+ y ago1:42:14

1:42:14

Lily is back at it again with her shenanigans and ADD/ADHD way of speaking. It’s funny, isn’t it? Two 30 year old dudes reading basically glorified fan-fiction of a little 12 year old girl. Yes, there are angels/demons and mind powers and shit around every corner but like, at its core, this is a family drama about a little girl. Funny. At least it’…

1
Episode Two Hundred Thirty-Three: Wicked and Wild Waterpark Woes 1:57:14

1+ y ago1:57:14

1:57:14

Deputy Dewey, what is that in your pants? Oh no, it’s AQUA-SLASH. Just kidding, we didn’t watch that garbage, instead we just summarized our thoughts with the help of Red Letter Media! Anywho, the relevance of dying in a water park is high and so is the tide. What is going on at Uncle Bob’s Wicked and Wild Waterpark, we ask. The answer? Well, let’s…

1
Episode Two Hundred Thirty-Two: Lillian's Dead-Zone Part One 1:51:58

1+ y ago1:51:58

1:51:58

HEY GUYS, It’s me and WhereAmI? In a new series! This one is about a little girl who may be crazy, may be haunted, may be guarded by angels, or may be ‘was-demons.’ I DON’T KNOW YET - Or do I? Well, maybe I do. But you don’t, and that’s the point of listening. Are you not entertained? You should be! Because this kid totally has ADD or ADHD of some …

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Episode Two Hundred Thirty-One: Gonna Be A Gas Part Four 1:05:51

1+ y ago1:05:51

1:05:51

It's been a while since we've visited the gas station. Tenron Otrin was eager to revisit our buddy Jack and see how he's keeping up. The gas station is always easy to jump back into because it's 'more of the same' with 'a little bit new' and it perfectly balances those two without ever changing too much. On today's episode, the NEW comes in the for…

1
Episode Two Hundred Thirty: Things That Goose Bump in the Night 2:50:57

2+ y ago2:50:57

2:50:57

As we enter new territory on today’s episode of Lotsa Pasta, we pay our respects to the forefathers that came before us. Alvin Schwartz and the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Stephen King and his various works. And today. R.L. Stine and his Goosebumps. So much can be said about this man and this series, but instead, how about you listen to the …

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Episode Two Hundred Twenty-Nine: Full & Wiry 1:29:30

2+ y ago1:29:30

1:29:30

One of my favorite guests is back and it’s been a short while since we’ve seen some of these stories. It’s Cannibal Siren and we’re reading more of One Page Wonder’s Stories to Read Alone at Night. We get into the Halloween Spirit to welcome in the new year, - Why? Because fuck you, that’s why. Then we get into some old school urban legend spooky g…

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Episode Two Hundred Twenty-Eight: Let's Watch: Slender Man(2018) 2:07:43

2+ y ago2:07:43

2:07:43

I’ve been waiting quite some time for this day. You all should know this. I may have talked about it a couple times on prior episodes but the stars -er- clouds did not align until this day. Tenron Otrin joins me, of course, to revisit the horror, the absolute abysmal terror that is Sony Pictures and Screen Gems monstrosity that is Slender Man the m…

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Episode Two Hundred Twenty-Seven: A Very Merry Pastas Part Eight 2:23:34

2+ y ago2:23:34

2:23:34

I know what you’re thinking. Christmas is over. Why is there a Christmas episode now? Aren’t we done with these? Obviously not, because I’m both a sadist and a masochist. I want to feel the pain and I want to share it with all of you. The pain of the holiday season, coming to a podcast near you, starring Tyler Perry as Madea. I hope you guys like i…

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Episode Two Hundred Twenty-Six: This One Time at Cult Camp Part Two 1:16:48

2+ y ago1:16:48

1:16:48

What did you think of that first part? Kid needs GTFO, amirite? Too bad he’s broke, in the middle of the woods, with no vehicle, surrounded by cult members. That’s a very no-way-out type of situation, yeah. When you can’t use your muscle, use your brains, right? Find a different way out of your situation by OUTSMARTING the dumb-ass cult. Yeah, that…

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Episode Two Hundred Twenty-Five: This One Time at Cult Camp Part One 1:32:39

2+ y ago1:32:39

1:32:39

Royalty has returned to the show and out of nowhere, it seems. What a pleasure to have Sofa King back again so soon and for his first series no less! It’s only a two-parter but this camp-story-gone-cult has a few twists and turns you may not see coming. Is it the best written story we’ve ever read? No, absolutely not. Is it is the best voice work w…

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Episode Two Hundred Twenty-Four: What's Up, Eve Part Three 1:23:15

2+ y ago1:23:15

1:23:15

What a rollercoaster ride of a series, right? I mean, not literally, but LITERALLY, right? In part one we’re just minding our business and doing our thing and next thing you know - we’re all sorts of topsy-turvy. What a ride! This is one of my favorite things I’ve read in a while and I’m so thankful to the author for having done such a wonderful jo…

1
Episode Two Hundred Twenty-Three: What's Up, Eve Part Two 47:40

2+ y ago47:40

47:40

This might be the shortest episode I’ve done in a while. It was quick and sweet. I just wanted to get through the rising action of the second act of this story but without going TOO far. I want the climax of the next episode to come together and culminate in the beauty that is its conclusion. This is all part of the plan, my sweet listener. Stay tu…

1
Episode Two Hundred Twenty-Two: What's Up, Eve Part One 54:52

2+ y ago54:52

54:52

It’s been five years since the inception of this show. What more can I say. I just want to read a good story by myself. So that’s what I’m going to do. We Used to Live Here(7:56) Check out our episodes on Youtube! www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxw Check out our episodes on iTunes, Spotify, google play podcasts, or soundcloud www.soun…

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