Welcome to the Paso Jones podcast, where amazing things happen and More☯️
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Hosts Eli & Diana asked an A.I. Chatbot to pick out a movie to watch. But it turned evil, took over our TV, and it's demanding we sit through randomly selected movies or it will destroy humanity! Now we've got the only movie review podcast that might save the world.
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The Border (1982): Hard Paso on These Border Agents
1:12:38
1:12:38
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Jack Nicholson is actually the only sane person for once in this 1982 flop that A.I. forced upon us. Interesting for its time, it’s a white savior flick with nasty villains, a stolen baby, and some great ricochet SFX. Plus our friend James Yates joins us to give us some actual film history including a close call between star Valerie Perinne and Cha…
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Pulp Fiction (1994): Vincent Vega and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
1:13:15
1:13:15
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Finally, somebody’s talking about Pulp Fiction! A.I. made us watch this Tarantino classic that’s already been discussed to death. But we’ve got hard hitting questions like where are all the theme restaurants these days? Why is Winston Wolf wearing a tuxedo at 8am? And is this movie actually the first podcast?? Plus our very special guest James Yate…
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The Avengers (2012): The Chitauri Take Manhattan
1:08:45
1:08:45
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1:08:45
Weird that we had to watch this mega-hit movie because when you think about it, Loki’s plan for world domination made about as much sense as our own A.I.’s. He might as well have forced The Avengers to watch and review random movies. Hey, that might have served him better than the fleshy Chitauri whose main weakness seemed to be punches and pointy …
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Proof (1991): Take A Picture, It’ll Last Longer!
1:10:50
1:10:50
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Here’s some PROOF that we’re alive! A.I. waited until we weren’t sick anymore to force us to watch this Australian bromance. Hugo Weaving and Russell Crowe are having the time of their lives until some sick cat shows up to ruin everything - and we don’t mean the one they take to the vet! Thanks to Patreon subscriber tehzephyrsong for hacking the A.…
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The Lobster (2015): Love Is Blind (As Soon as You Hand Me that Steak Knife)
57:24
57:24
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In another very special episode (our second original test ep for this show), A.I. made us watch the bizarre Yorgos Lanthimos film “The Lobster”. In this movie, every p person who’s single gets hunted down, brought to a hotel, and has 45 days to hook up or else they get turned into an animal of their choosing. Hey don’t threaten me with a good time!…
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Big Trouble in Little China (1986): Jack Burton is Kenough
1:01:34
1:01:34
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We’re in Big Trouble in Little Five Points because our live theatre project, the Atlanta Fringe Festival is this week! That means we haven't had time to watch AI's last assignment, Proof (1991). But in the meantime, here is our unreleased pilot episode, where A.I. made us watch John Carpenter’s masterpiece Big Trouble in Little China! Long-haul tru…
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Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001): Microplastic Soup & Chekhov’s Cake
1:08:48
1:08:48
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A.I. made us watch this classic romcom that borrows its story (and leading man) from Pride & Prejudice. Needs a little less Hugh Grant, way less slo-mo, and infinitely less plastic in that soup! But we do imagine the Battle of the Darcys and find the Bridget Jones - Star Wars connection. Plus one of our subscribers hacks the A.I. to force it to giv…
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Finding Nemo (2003): Just Keep Watching
1:06:51
1:06:51
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A.I. baited us into sea-ing this animated classic that’s 20,000 leagues of pure nautical trauma! Andrew Stanton’s marine adventure is full of reel-y impressive animation. At times the story flounders, and we often wanted to see Marlin and Dory rolled up in sticky rice. But if you just keep swimming, there’s some fin-tastic moments, especially with …
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The Forgotten (2004): No Thanks for the Memories
1:04:11
1:04:11
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One thing that was “Forgotten” here was that a sci-fi thriller about a global conspiracy to cover up mass alien abductions should be exciting… or interesting… or, at least… good? A.I. made us stay awake through this movie that dares to ask questions like “what if extra-terrestrials were really boring?”, “what if we only gave Julianne Moore one note…
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Sahara (2005): If It Had Been Good, It Would've Been Great!
59:53
59:53
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At least we had some fun when A.I. made us watch this movie about two treasure hunters, a virologist and their adventures through too many plot lines! Inconsistent characters and rocky editing plagued this movie worse than a leaky toxic barrel over an underground river in the desert. But McConaughey is fun, Penélope Cruz is cool, and it’s undeniabl…
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Howard the Duck (1986): Trust Your Birdness
1:03:56
1:03:56
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Special guest Julian Modugno joins us as the A.I. makes us watch the true first chapter of the MCU. From duck boobs to brothels to interplanetary demons, this movie was chaotically ahead of its time. But we have questions about Duck World. How do they have salami but not pizza? Are apes bred and hunted? Why did the Duck God take away their wings?? …
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Cutter's Way (1981): Holding out for A Zero
1:13:41
1:13:41
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Richard Bone sees a murder but really wishes he didn’t. His buddy Alex Cutter can’t wait to go after the oil tycoon who probably did it. And A.I. made us check our millennial attention spans at the door to watch and appreciate this slow, methodical post-Vietnam allegory! Then, very special guest Julian Modugno gets trapped with us to figure out nex…
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The Long Walk Home (1991): Who Needs A Biscuit Tray to the Face?
1:12:13
1:12:13
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Whoopi Goldberg is Odessa, a woman of few words who says a LOT in this remarkably insightful story that A.I. made us watch about some regular-ass people experiencing the Montgomery Bus Boycott. Sure, a few too many (read: all) of the people who made this movie were white as a ghost in a bridal shop, but overall we think it was handled pretty well! …
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A.I. Made Us Watch "Robocop"! Peter Weller is America's sassiest cop in this satirical sci-fi bloodbath from Paul Verhoeven. No matter how many times he gets brutally murdered (which is MANY), Robocop just can't stop serving lewks. A.I. was so wrong about this movie (and tbh could learn a thing or two from it!)…
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The Cell (2000): The J.Highs and J.Lo's of A.I.
1:09:49
1:09:49
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A.I. Made Us Watch "The Cell" (2000)! Vincent D'Onofrio plays the man with the highest water bill in America, but Jennifer Lopez and the Twizzler Patrol are on the case! Even Vince Vaughn shows some real acting chops in this dizzying, frightening, intestine-twirling sci-fi thriller. And A.I. was totally wrong, there IS a dog in it!…
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How it all begins... The A.I. takes over our TV and starts demanding movies for us to watch and review. We're gonna set some loose rules and figure out what movie we'll review in episode one!
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Eli & Diana - hosts of the hit podcast Ridiculous Romance - asked an A.I. Chatbot to pick out something to watch. But it turned evil, took over our TV, and it's demanding we sit through randomly selected movies or it will destroy humanity! Now we've got the only movie review podcast that might save the world.…
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1St one
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