Doing the $h!t and Making It Happen

Behind The Line

Show Notes:

This week we are finishing off our 5 week series on self-care, and today’s episode focuses on how we make lasting change and habits to go the distance. During this episode I talk about the Stages of Change Model by Prochaska and DiClamente which includes 6 stages. I have created an infographic that summarizes the stages and you can find it here. The Stages of Change Model is helpful in clarifying that change is not a one-and-done kind of process – it takes time, effort and repetition. We may slip and feel like we’ve gone “backward” sometimes – but know that it’s never really backward, it’s always one step closer than you were before.

We also discuss James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits, as well as a video resource he offers on his website that you can check out here. In his work he talks about four stages of habit formation which include: noticing, wanting, doing and liking. It looks a bit like this:

· Noticing: Get really clear on the habit you want to create or eliminate. This isn’t just noticing there’s an issue, it’s noticing how that issue works in your life and getting really explicitly clear on what you are going to do to change it. For example, it’s not enough to say “I’m going to do more self-care” – it needs to look more like, I am going to go to avoid screens after 10pm, and be in bed by 10:30pm every night after doing 15 minutes of stretching.

· Wanting: Once you’re clear on what you are going to change and the commitments you are willing to make to make it different, you need to set things up to help you get there. James talks specifically about your physical environment being a significant factor in either supporting or derailing our habit formation and he says, “You don’t have to be the victim of your environment, you can also be the architect of it.” This might mean things like setting an alarm to remind you to stop screens at 10pm, having fresh sheets on your bed to invite you to crawl in at 10:30, and a space set up with your yoga mat and some chill music to do some stretching before you hit the sack.

· Doing: I love what James says about this: “shut up and put the reps in.” When it comes to doing, we just have to do. Over and over again. Habits come through repetition, and as we do something more it becomes more and more a part of us and who we perceive ourselves to be.

· Liking: Human nature is such that we are provoked to do things when there is a sense of reward. One of the challenges with many of the “good for us” things is that the reward is less immediate. James suggests creating a reward system to promote engaging in habits that don’t have immediate gratification and offers the idea of marking a calendar with an X for each day you do the new habit. Work to get a string of X’s and then try not to break the chain. Might seem silly, but it works!

Last of all we talk about how the system you belong to will tend to offer mixed messages about self-care. It will likely encourage you to do it, but then slap you upside the head when you do. It’s tricky, and unfortunately it is hard and slow to change the system, so focus on what you have control over and not what you don’t. You can do you. You can control taking a deep breath, scrunching your shoulders up and then releasing them down and away from your ears, you can control your screen time and your sleep on days you’re not working…

At the end of the show I also let you know that for the next week, until March 11th, we are offering the Beating the Breaking Point course to our listeners for $100 off the regular price. If you don’t know much about this course, check it out here. When you’re ready to register, click here and use code BTBP100OFF.

Episode Challenge:

If you’ve enjoyed this series on self-care, you’re going to LOVE Beating the Breaking Point, and I would really encourage you to consider registering before March 11th using the code BTBP100OFF. The 7 part online course can be done at your own pace, and is risk-free with a money back guarantee. Check out the info page for more details by clicking here, or jump to the registration page here to sign up. If you’re not sure whether the course is the right fit for you, I would encourage you to snag our free Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide to help assess where burnout is at for you right now – you can sign up to get it here.

Additional Resources:

Stages of Change pdf infographic

Atomic Habits by James Clear

James Clear’s Website & Video

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