#60 - Quick Tips #8: Do Children Have a Right to Set Boundaries?

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By Vicki Tidwell Palmer, LCSW, Vicki Tidwell Palmer, and LCSW. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

A listener wanted to know if her child has a right to decide who, when, and how she plays with her friends. Vicki answers this question, and offers some great tips on how to handle parents — or even family members — who criticize your child when she wants to set a boundary. If you're a parent or will become one in the future you, this is information about children and boundaries that you need to know.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #60:

  • Children have a right to say no when they are asked to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable.
  • When you tell your child they don't have a right to say no, you are teaching them to be a people-pleaser.
  • As a parent, you are a role model to your children about their rights to set boundaries.
  • Let your child know that you are proud of them for setting their boundaries.

Highlights from Episode #60:

  • Welcome back to the show! Today’s episode is from a listener's question about do children have a right to set boundaries? [00:44]
  • Vicki discusses why this is an important question for parents and anyone who will become a parent in the future. [01:12]
  • The listener's question is about her daughter's choices about who she wants to play with and other parents' responses to her. [01:32]
  • Vicki’s first thought about the parents criticizing the listener's daughter is that it is completely appropriate to distance yourself from these parents. [03:50]
  • Children have a right to play with who they want to play with, and letting them make this choice teaches them boundaries and self care. [04:18]
  • Reasons you don’t want to teach your child to be a people pleaser. [05:05]
  • If you teach your child that they don’t have a right to say no, you lay the groundwork for potentially dangerous situations. [05:30]
  • The best way to teach your children about boundaries is by your your own example. [07:57]
  • Enforce your child's choices by letting her know she has the right to choose who she plays with. [09:55]
  • Vicki’s suggestions what to say if your child is being criticized. [09:53]
  • Let your child know that you are proud of her for letting others know what she wanted or needed. [12:30]
  • If someone is being overtly abusive to your child, you have a right and responsibility to stop them. [13:14]
  • By letting your child exercise her boundaries you are helping her develop her ability to keep herself safe. [13:56]

Links and Resources:

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