33 | CHARGE

Burnt Out

Let's get into the Burnt Out experience with Kelly Cooper.

Kelly is the Founder and President of the Centre for Social Intelligence. Kelly's company helps organizations achieve the triple bottom line of sustainable development by investing in the people of an organization through things such as improving gender diversity, mental health and optimizing the performance of millennials.

Kelly believes that by investing in these three areas, an organization is able achieve a greater return on their investment in their people, creating increased productivity, lower absenteeism, and a healthier work environment for all.

The Burnt Out Experience

*TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT*

While Kelly had experience gender-based harassment at work from bosses and clients, this next scenario is really where she felt burnt out because of the actions of others imposed upon her.

She was exercising as per usual in the middle of the day. She had her walkman on and wan't able to hear the man approaching her. He grabbed her and put one hand on her body and the other down his own pants. This was a mortifying experience and the experience that Kelly feels was a burnt out moment due to another person's actions being imposed upon her.

Kelly goes on in this episode to talk about two amazing times in her life where the stars aligned in her life. She leaves us with an inspiring reminder that we're not in charge, we don't necessarily have control of our lives, but if you follow your dreams, the world will conspire to help you.

How did she deal? Charge!!

THIS IS NOT ADVICE TO YOU.

What Kelly did is dangerous. She CHARGED and CHASED this person who had just assaulted her!!! While he could have had a weapon or done something to really alter Kelly's life in that moment, her only thought was "No way is this guy getting away with this."

Luckily for Kelly, there was a police officer who saw what had happened, joined her in the chase, and ultimately caught and arrested the man. Kelly describes this as an empowering moment. She didn't think and her fight or flight response drove her to call this man out in a very physical, "fighting" way.

How, though, do you (metaphorically) charge or chase someone doing this in a workplace setting?

Set Boundaries

The importance of setting boundaries is timeless and applicable in all areas of life.

The ability to do this can be scary, upsetting, or frustrating. NOT setting boundaries can cause women like us to think "Am I here because of the work that I do or the way that I look?" That's not a situation that anyone should have to be in, which is why these boundaries can be helpful.

It can be as simple as saying "This is a professional relationship and you just crossed the line" but it also totally depends on who you are and what you're comfortable with.

Dig Deep

"There is no greater motivator than children."

It was important to Kelly to offer her kids a stable, healthy home, and a good role model. She describes her actions as digging deep to pull that off for the people who meant most to her and who needed her to be strong.

She thought back to what she has in her life which is many experiences and a good education, so she thought "there's nothing holding me back." What a positive self-awareness and thought process when her situation seemed very negative.

Kelly goes through life day by day and doesn't allow anxiety to rule over her future. She figures it out as she goes and everything continues to fall into place as it should.

Leadership

Listening Empathy Relating Being a good role model Recognizing you don't have all the answers

Notable Quotes

“I've been humbled to realize that I'm not in control of my life.”

"When you follow your dreams, the world conspires to help you."