Crane's Corner: 6-3-21 Guys and Dolls

Crane's Corner

I suppose the cost would be prohibitive, but I’ve come to the conclusion that the United States would be better served by ringing in the borders, not with any kind of fencing but a large padded wall...the kind they have in hospital psych wards and Mental Institutions, because as a nation we are going nuts. Yes, the Pandemic was a game changer. Thanks to politicians and Dr. Flip Flop--er Fauci, we shut down the economy and the schools, made everyone put on a mask and pretty much wrote off 2020, and as I write this in June of 2021, no one seems to be really sure it was all necessary--because to everyone’s amazement, a Covid 19 kill shot arrived within months--not years..and pretty much cancelled the argument that shut downs worked or were a waste of time, money and sanity. America managed to run Donald Trump out of office..though he’s looking for ballots like OJ’s looking for his wife’s real killer. California prison inmates, dumb enough to get nailed for their crimes, were smart enough to scam the E-D-D out of at least 10 billion and maybe three times that, with the PPP, Pandemic prisoner profiteering.

And suddenly all the protocols and sacrifice and rules go away, per His Majesty King Gavin the Nuisance..as of June 15th.

Back to normal? What is that? The other day on CNBC, the question was posed, “Should we have sex with robots”?

OK, some of you may think you already are, but seriously, there is now a line of robots, built in New Jersey, designed expressly to mimic many varieties of sexual behavior. These dolls, with artificial intelligence not only mimic most common sex acts, they talk and blink and some say provide decent conversation. My first thought is this sexy robot trend is not going to be good for the champagne, oyster or floral industries, not to mention the people who make pain relievers. Robots can’t derail the Love Express by copping to a headache and I suppose if your metallic lover smokes after sex, it’s best to check the wiring. They cost thousands but are really hooking some people, pardon the pun, but they’re said to be so life like, they may put human sex workers out of work. Houston nixed plans for a robot brothel, saying it could bust up families and finances. But they’re popping up in Europe.

Experts say this idea of getting lucky on demand suggests something we already knew. People don’t talk any more, they just text or share whatever inane thoughts they may have on social media. Then there’s the British guy who owns a doll named April, and tells the Sun, it’s a full time job. They get physical four times a week, go out to dinner twice a week, then there’s hours devoted to keeping April dressed with hair and make up as well. And that guy is still married. Nothing like a plastic pet to take care of.

Mental Health experts are divided as to whether sex robots are a good thing, but it appears they are here to stay. Some guys are even ordering bots that look like the ex wife or girlfriend. Different strokes for different folks, but until the virtual companions learn to cook, open the wine and order tons of stuff from Amazon, I’m staying with the human option, with all the money I save, I can buy some courtside tickets for the Kings Playoff games or take King Gavin to the French Laundry, He’s no robot, but he’s got that Artificial Intelligence going for him.