1021 The Backhanded Compliment

Create Your Now Archive 4 with Kristianne Wargo

Compliments are great when shared and expressed. But what about the backhanded compliment?

The ones that build you up and tear you down all at the same time.

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Well, I caught myself dong just that to my daughter right before she headed off to bed.

Now I really didn't think much about it at the time. I was simply saying how she was so cut and little, and boy do I feel tall.

Her immediate response was, "Wow, Mom! Way to go with the backhanded compliment."

Yes she had a long day. So she could have been extra sensitive. But really the one who needed to be more sensitive was ME!!!

Here I really didn't mean anything by it. Yet, she took it all the wrong way.

What a terrible thing to do to your child, or anyone! Give them a compliment and then turn around and slap them. (figuratively speaking)

Why is it that we do this? It's like we are giving them a stroke of how great they are, and the disciplining or pointing out a shortcoming.

All you're doing is tell your child, you're not good enough!

Sit with this for a minute. ----

Maybe you don't mean to do this, but it's become a way you communicate. some of us do it out of ignorance, and others are plain mean-spirited.

Examples:

• Way to ace such an easy test!
• Congrats on the new job! Now you won't have an excuse to be crabby.
• You look SO cute in that outfit. Ever think of trying that other pair of shoes?

How do you compliment without the slap?

The K.I.S.S. ~ Separate the compliment from the lesson!

1. GIVE a compliment with no strings attached or no etc.
2. LIVE/LOVE in the compliment.
3. TEACH at a later date.

"Compliments are meant to build you up leaving the teaching for another day."

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Read more from Kristianne, a contributor to The Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, Thrive Global, Addicted2Succes, and She Owns It.

https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/5-things-to-do-while-waiting-for-success-to-manifest-in-your-life/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kristianne-wargo/

http://bit.ly/9amHabits

https://journal.thriveglobal.com/how-to-configure-a-sleep-pattern-fit-for-you-d8edd3387eaf#.sniv275c3

https://sheownsit.com/when-failure-is-your-middle-name/

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