Manage episode 241034664 series 1176647
One of the most frustrating encounters is a power struggle. Why is it that a simple request can lead to such a definitive and defiant response? How do you respond when the answer is no?
As adults, we say yes to a lot of things in life (some things we like, some we do because we have to).
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So why are we so surprised when our children say no to us with little to no hesitation?
My younger self secretly wishes I had that backbone more today as an adult. Then, maybe I wouldn't be tied to SO many things that are important, but not a priority to me personally.
Flipping the tables, what do the children know more about saying no than me?
Our family has been asked to have a picture taken of us for the paper. Yes, there are still papers in print.
The children I thought would give me a hard time actually were okay with the idea. But then I had one that firmly refused. And another that said, "only if you force me".
How do I force a young adult?
Strangely, parents think they control their children. That control is only as strong as our consistency. And that consistency waivers often.
Yet for those young-ins, they are all about the no!
What do you do when the answer is no?
Well it all depends on the backhand communication?The K.I.S.S. ~ A.R.E. you ready!
We cannot assume that the answer is going to be yes. Just because we say yes all the time (Okay, I say yes majority of the time), doesn't mean that is the answer.
So go into the encounter with the backhand communication. A.R.E. you ready?
- ASK with respect. No assumptions; for assumptions cause trouble. Be respectful of the other person. What they think matters. How they feel matters.
- RESPOND with clarity. There most likely will be follow-up questions. Know the details. Don't let the little things fall through the cracks. Layout the expectations.
- EDUCATE using consequences. It's important to foresee the outcomes, good or bad. Now you won't know all possibilities. But you can be prepared for the majority of them. This is about guidance not control.
A.R.E. you ready?
And maybe you're not. Guess what? That's okay; both for you and your child.
Communication is fundamental. You can't live a joy-filled life unless you learn to communicate."A.R.E. you ready?"
#ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama #CreateYourNow #TodaysParent
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
Music by Mandisa - Overcomer
Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) 9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music - Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.