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26: How to Become a True Light-Worker by Revealing & Integrating Your Shadow Self with Monica Pelayo

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When? This feed was archived on July 02, 2020 18:09 (3+ y ago). Last successful fetch was on May 15, 2020 01:07 (4y ago)

Why? Inactive feed status. Our servers were unable to retrieve a valid podcast feed for a sustained period.

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Manage episode 187645139 series 1507574
Content provided by Jen Francis. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Jen Francis or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.

Monica Pelayo helps us get acquainted with the shadow aspect of ourselves, because we continually deny its existence, long ago rejecting those perceived “negative” or disapproved of qualities that have been cast into our shadow. Yet it is only when we start stepping into the light that we begin to see those parts of ourselves have remained hidden for so long, slowly pushed from consciousness as we grew up.

We learn that true personal power can only be achieved by the full acceptance of all parts of ourselves, dark and light. In creating integrity, that is wholeness, we find a way end our suffering and accept all aspects of our humanity.

You’ll love this episode if:

  • There are certain perceived “negative” qualities about yourself that you simply cannot accept and spend a great deal of energy trying to expel them, pretend they are not there, or hiding them from others;
  • You are curious why you have certain strong emotional reactions to certain behaviours or opinions, and wonder what that says about you, and what you can learn about yourself through great exploration.
  • You’re struggling or suffering emotionally in some way

Time Stamped Notes

3:33 Monica talks about her journey to shadow work. Her father died when she was 4, and her mother had a brain tumor when she was ten. She was lost and learned about life based on other people’s opinions.

In her late teens, she suffered depression and had two suicide attempts. She read her first metaphysical book, “Return To Love,” by Mary Anne Williamson, which introduced her to The Course in Miracles. This allowed her to find light within herself.

However, in spite of her training in the A Course in Miracles, she would still feel moments of darkness, sadness and depression.

7:18 As spiritual workers, we feel that sad or heavier emotions shouldn’t happen. We become all about the light, yet as humans we must acknowledge that the darkness exists on earth.

Monica read the book “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers,” by Debbie Ford – which helped her to understand the pursuit of perfection in the light-worker. It helped her understand that the blocks to love were our biggest gifts, and shadow work enables us to reconnect with these qualities in order to move forward.

8:08 Human are comprised of two based emotions – love or fear. Love is the light, and fear is the absence of light. In fear, there is depression, sadness, anger and disappointment whereas in love there is beauty, acceptance or gratitude. As humans we can’t have one without the other.

Monica uses a personal example where she used to think she was a “b*&ch” – which was connoted with a darker vocabulary. To avoid being what she believed was a “b*&ch,” she went through her life as a doormat: never confronting or offending anyone, which made her go above and beyond to people please, leaving her feeling exhausted and like she never did enough.

By contrast, the hidden shadow side of herself that had the qualities that she had labeled b*&tch, were in fact her strengths. Her bitch side was the part that made limits and drew boundaries, which helped her through times of sadness and gave her the strength to keep going.

16:46 How to start unmasking your shadow:

  1. Recognition that there is the shadow;
  2. Understand and accept that there is a shadow;
  3. Have a conversation to establish the qualities within your shadow.

If you’re in the dark, there is no shadow; it is precisely because you are shining a light that you can see the shadow. There is nothing wrong with you, or missing; it is simply that by stepping into the light you begin to see all these qualities that you had kept hidden for so long.

Monica uses a personal example where she was afraid to feel, or be perceived as, selfish especially when she felt called to step up and serve more. Yet what are the qualities of “selfish”? Being selfish teaches self-love, so if you deny and exclude your selfishness, it’s more difficult to serve.

Your shadow is generally derived while growing up, when you came to attach meaning and create beliefs around certain qualities. As such, your shadow qualities are almost always the exact opposite of what your first fears were around it.

22:48 The originally held belief around the word “integrity” is someone who follows the rules; the “good girl” who is honest, truthful, and ethically sound. Yet integrity means wholeness, that is, “integrating” your shadow as these perceived darker qualities.

Shadows are not the darkness, it is only in the moments of light that you see shadows wanting to come forward to help you. The shadow is the pathway to the light.

31:37 Suffering is the “not accepting” part of our humanity. If you are really able to integrate your shadow, you accept all parts of you as a human being. Would there be a shadow if there wasn’t a need for approval?

34:56 When we have aspects of ourselves that we reject or deny, we will see them reflected back at us in the world. This is the reason why there are people who reject others because of their skin, or beliefs, it is how human beings deal with their shadow.

42:36 Power cannot be found by accepting only certain aspects of yourself, power is created when you are whole and integrated.

44:53 For those of you on the Curiously You Facebook Group, Monica will be seeing the comments posted and will respond to those. Please visit and join the Curiously You Facebook group here:

Resources

Connect with Monica:

www.monicapelayo.com

There will be a new Meditation coming up on forgiveness of our shadows which can be signed up for on her website.

Book recommendations

“Return To Love” – Mary Anne Williamson

“The Dark Side Of the Light Chasers,” – Debbie Ford

“The Gifts of Imperfection,” – Brene Brown

Curious Question:

What are the qualities that you see out in the world in other people that you find difficult to face?

  continue reading

48 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 

Archived series ("Inactive feed" status)

When? This feed was archived on July 02, 2020 18:09 (3+ y ago). Last successful fetch was on May 15, 2020 01:07 (4y ago)

Why? Inactive feed status. Our servers were unable to retrieve a valid podcast feed for a sustained period.

What now? You might be able to find a more up-to-date version using the search function. This series will no longer be checked for updates. If you believe this to be in error, please check if the publisher's feed link below is valid and contact support to request the feed be restored or if you have any other concerns about this.

Manage episode 187645139 series 1507574
Content provided by Jen Francis. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Jen Francis or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.

Monica Pelayo helps us get acquainted with the shadow aspect of ourselves, because we continually deny its existence, long ago rejecting those perceived “negative” or disapproved of qualities that have been cast into our shadow. Yet it is only when we start stepping into the light that we begin to see those parts of ourselves have remained hidden for so long, slowly pushed from consciousness as we grew up.

We learn that true personal power can only be achieved by the full acceptance of all parts of ourselves, dark and light. In creating integrity, that is wholeness, we find a way end our suffering and accept all aspects of our humanity.

You’ll love this episode if:

  • There are certain perceived “negative” qualities about yourself that you simply cannot accept and spend a great deal of energy trying to expel them, pretend they are not there, or hiding them from others;
  • You are curious why you have certain strong emotional reactions to certain behaviours or opinions, and wonder what that says about you, and what you can learn about yourself through great exploration.
  • You’re struggling or suffering emotionally in some way

Time Stamped Notes

3:33 Monica talks about her journey to shadow work. Her father died when she was 4, and her mother had a brain tumor when she was ten. She was lost and learned about life based on other people’s opinions.

In her late teens, she suffered depression and had two suicide attempts. She read her first metaphysical book, “Return To Love,” by Mary Anne Williamson, which introduced her to The Course in Miracles. This allowed her to find light within herself.

However, in spite of her training in the A Course in Miracles, she would still feel moments of darkness, sadness and depression.

7:18 As spiritual workers, we feel that sad or heavier emotions shouldn’t happen. We become all about the light, yet as humans we must acknowledge that the darkness exists on earth.

Monica read the book “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers,” by Debbie Ford – which helped her to understand the pursuit of perfection in the light-worker. It helped her understand that the blocks to love were our biggest gifts, and shadow work enables us to reconnect with these qualities in order to move forward.

8:08 Human are comprised of two based emotions – love or fear. Love is the light, and fear is the absence of light. In fear, there is depression, sadness, anger and disappointment whereas in love there is beauty, acceptance or gratitude. As humans we can’t have one without the other.

Monica uses a personal example where she used to think she was a “b*&ch” – which was connoted with a darker vocabulary. To avoid being what she believed was a “b*&ch,” she went through her life as a doormat: never confronting or offending anyone, which made her go above and beyond to people please, leaving her feeling exhausted and like she never did enough.

By contrast, the hidden shadow side of herself that had the qualities that she had labeled b*&tch, were in fact her strengths. Her bitch side was the part that made limits and drew boundaries, which helped her through times of sadness and gave her the strength to keep going.

16:46 How to start unmasking your shadow:

  1. Recognition that there is the shadow;
  2. Understand and accept that there is a shadow;
  3. Have a conversation to establish the qualities within your shadow.

If you’re in the dark, there is no shadow; it is precisely because you are shining a light that you can see the shadow. There is nothing wrong with you, or missing; it is simply that by stepping into the light you begin to see all these qualities that you had kept hidden for so long.

Monica uses a personal example where she was afraid to feel, or be perceived as, selfish especially when she felt called to step up and serve more. Yet what are the qualities of “selfish”? Being selfish teaches self-love, so if you deny and exclude your selfishness, it’s more difficult to serve.

Your shadow is generally derived while growing up, when you came to attach meaning and create beliefs around certain qualities. As such, your shadow qualities are almost always the exact opposite of what your first fears were around it.

22:48 The originally held belief around the word “integrity” is someone who follows the rules; the “good girl” who is honest, truthful, and ethically sound. Yet integrity means wholeness, that is, “integrating” your shadow as these perceived darker qualities.

Shadows are not the darkness, it is only in the moments of light that you see shadows wanting to come forward to help you. The shadow is the pathway to the light.

31:37 Suffering is the “not accepting” part of our humanity. If you are really able to integrate your shadow, you accept all parts of you as a human being. Would there be a shadow if there wasn’t a need for approval?

34:56 When we have aspects of ourselves that we reject or deny, we will see them reflected back at us in the world. This is the reason why there are people who reject others because of their skin, or beliefs, it is how human beings deal with their shadow.

42:36 Power cannot be found by accepting only certain aspects of yourself, power is created when you are whole and integrated.

44:53 For those of you on the Curiously You Facebook Group, Monica will be seeing the comments posted and will respond to those. Please visit and join the Curiously You Facebook group here:

Resources

Connect with Monica:

www.monicapelayo.com

There will be a new Meditation coming up on forgiveness of our shadows which can be signed up for on her website.

Book recommendations

“Return To Love” – Mary Anne Williamson

“The Dark Side Of the Light Chasers,” – Debbie Ford

“The Gifts of Imperfection,” – Brene Brown

Curious Question:

What are the qualities that you see out in the world in other people that you find difficult to face?

  continue reading

48 episodes

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