073 - The Hallmark Version of Intercourse

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Manage episode 246496433 series 2387918
By Jeb Lund and Vigorous Marvin. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

DAVID T. COLE fortifies himself for PUMPKIN PIE WARS (2016) and the rising: Dave Quotient ... IMDB savant, finite memory ... Non-romping splenda oatmeal ... Magnum, PI's "Paper War" ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge: May be written ... Karen Geier plug ... Pie breach origins, bakery bailouts ... Just get a chair ... The Hallmark version of intercourse ... Hallmark-level naughty ... Falling off a ladder ... Some braless work ... "Winning the bake-off will bring in the locals" ... Who are the baking mandarins? ... Six Months Later ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: No angel food cake; a terrible version of The Good Place; no angels, but The Devil ... Eat Your Heart Out: Pumpkin out the yang; no food stylist on set; a reasonable menu; inaccurate pie baking time; Le Cordon Bleu in London; artificially ignorant kitchen wrecking; "I'll write the recipe"; Casey learns nothing; baking pumpkins ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Murder She Baked, and America's Pie Belt ... The (Pie) Body Farm ... Murder She Baked > Khal Drogo ... Crossover: Grace and Frankie prequel; Tampopo; eighth base; Hallmark's Hunger Games; Gordon Ramsay abuse; Nailed It ... BREAK ... Payola, Patreon and another ad bust ... Journalismism: Another fake Google; Lucky in Love; Wharton's classes on psychological warfare; press scrum for pie ... Hallmark Bechdel Test: Technically yes, buuuuut ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Sam is a replicant; Rico Aragon at the table read; Amish Ghost; it won't happen a third time; every person watching a bake-off; rotisserie turkey ... BREAK ... Overdetermined: Chair solution; a boundless bake-off economy; being complementary ... Rating: The Juiciest Taco origin story, and a 2.75 ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Existential pumpkins ... CSI handwriting sample ... Black Betty ... He has a boat ... Teenage sneaking around ... Just go talk to him ... Cocaine is supposed to be fun ... Wellness Living ... A knife too far ... Merry Christmas! ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "Hot 'n' Nasty," by Humble Pie • "Buttermilk Boy," by Humble Pie • "Apple Pie À La Mode," by Destiny's Child • "Be Sweet," by The Afghan Whigs • "Sucking on the Sweet Vine," by Humble Pie • "Six Gallon Pie," by The Meat Puppets • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane

60 episodes