Open Relationships With Emily Gindlesparger

Dear Shandy

Today's Hot Topic dives deep into the world of open relationships! We're joined by author and ghostwriter Emily Gindlesparger, who not only opened her own relationship years ago but discovered her own bisexuality throughout the process. Her new memoir, "Please Make Me Love Me", describes her journey from traditional, straight monogamist to becoming polyamorous with multiple serious girlfriends. Today she shares how she shed her jealousy once and for all, the impact an open relationship had on her primary partnership, the challenges of logistics, and her advice to couples interested in non-monogamy. Emily manages to answer a TON of questions thoughtfully and succinctly, so if you've ever been curious about exploring polyamory—or are just curious how others manage it!—this conversation is for you.

More Emily:

- The Book, "Please Make Me Love Me": https://amzn.to/3Zwrhfz

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilygindle

- Website: https://www.emilygindlesparger.com

Referenced Links And Books:

More Than Two - https://www.morethantwo.com

Esther Perel’s “The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity” - https://amzn.to/3SDhO43

Jessica Fern’s “Polysecure” - https://amzn.to/3ZuwKU5

Time Stamps:

0:00 - Welcome To Emily Gindlesparger!

1:47 - What Do People Most Commonly Ask When They Learn She’s Written A Memoir About Open Relationships And Discovering She’s Queer

3:27 - Was There A Moment Where She Went From Jealous To Non-Jealous

7:06 - Would She Say The More She Leaned Into What Was Making Her Jealous, The Less Jealous She Became

8:16 - Did Jealous Get Flipped On Its Head To Where She Found It Enjoyable

10:43 - What Made Her And Her Partner Decide To Disclose Everything To Each Other (Versus “I Don’t Want To Know”)

14:02 - Did They Ever Fight About This

15:06 - How Much Of Her Decision To Open The Relationship Stemmed From A Desire To Live Life To The Fullest Versus Wanting To Explore Her Sexuality

19:42 - What Does She Think Is The Most Common Misconception About Open Relationships

22:41 - Is It Worth Bringing Up That You Want An Open Relationship If You Know Your Partner Is Deeply Monogamous

24:33 - Does She Believe One-Way Open Relationships Can Work

26:59 - What Advice Would She Give To Someone Whose Partner Wants To Open The Relationship

28:27 - Would She Have Ever Opened Her Relationship Had She Been In A Different Community

30:47 - Is A “Logistical Toll” Part And Parcel With Maintaining Open Relationships

33:06 - What’s Easier: Monogamy Or Polyamory

34:54 - Let’s Say A Couple Wants To Open Things Up—Where To Start

39:43 - When Did She Realize She Wasn’t 100% Straight

43:31 - What Advice Would She Give Her Younger Self On The Topic Of Her Sexuality

45:31 - Does She Consider It A Shame To *Not* Explore One’s Bisexuality

48:32 - Would She And Her Partner Even Open Things Up Again

51:17 - Did She Tell Her Family And If So, Why

54:41 - What Self Work Does She Recommend For Those Contemplating Opening Their Relationship

58:05 - Shandy Debrief

If you have a relationship question, write us at: [e-mail]

Support Dear Shandy: https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy

More Dear Shandy

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy

Facebook - https://fb.me/dearshandy

More Sharleen

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt

Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com

More Andy

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices