Cultivating Compassionate Attention for Ourselves

Fierce and Lovely

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4+ y ago 33:44

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Beth Bruno and Aundi Kolber discuss how to cultivate compassionate attention for ourselves. Aundi weaves her work as a therapist with her personal journey in her new book, Try Softer. An accessible, "regular person" counseling book, Try Softer is a kind guide to help you better understand and care for yourself. Listen in and follow the discussion guide to consider how this conversation might impact your story.

Podcast Discussion Guide:

1. What do you think of Aundi's description of her own fierce and lovely? "Fierceness is the willingness to protect the lovely. Setting boundaries is a fierce love for oneself."

2. Aundi talks about our window of tolerance. Do you have a sense of what your window of tolerance is? She says: "We can get stuck in looking for things to help the pain. From the outside, this may look like indulgence. From a trauma-informed perspective, it's not fully addressing what is going on. It's not what we actually need."

3. Aundi says a Try Softer approach begins with becoming aware of our bodies. Where do you notice responses in your body? Compassionate attention starts with curiosity. "What might I need right now to be more gentle with myself?" Ask yourself this the next time you notice you're reacting to something.

4. What do you think your attachment style might be?

5. Have you been in "systems" as an adult that chipped away at your secure attachment with oneself?

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A VOICE Becoming Book

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