Episode 24:Surviving the Early Years

Fostering Voices Podcast

In our time as parents, we have 'raised' 0-4 year olds for the last 11 years. The full count would be 7 kids for 3 months or more. We've done the newborn thing six times, we've done the toddler thing five times, and we've also done the two toddlers who were 14 months apart or less - twice. Neither of those times were particularly pretty.

But when we say we have some advice to give on surviving, And Thriving, in those early years, we mean it!

Tip #1: Don't be a reactive parent- as in, don't start teaching/forcing your kid a new skill just cause some other kid is doing it. Getting into pissing contests with other parents just make you feel bad, and they make your kids feel bad too.

This pertains especially in the realm of potty training. Which we talk about the potty, and poops A LOT in this episode. Sorry in advance for that...

Tip #2: Don't try to do it all. As a mom, I felt like I needed to be a part of every bath time, every bed time routine, every single moment of my baby's life. This is more plausible when you only have one kid. This becomes more implausible with the more kids you have. Share responsibilities!

And prioritize what you are doing. Chris brought up a great point that when he was a new dad, he still felt like he should be able to watch all the same amount of sports he watched before we had kids. This was crazy. As he re-prioritized his life, and hobbies, this helped him to put our marriage at the top of the list. That guy is so smart. And good looking.

Tip #3: Discipline your kids with love and self-control. This is especially necessary for kids in foster care, because they come from traumatic backgrounds, and it's against the law to spank them. So we discuss some ways to discipline that we learned in our PSMapp classes.

We also discussed:

-The Mehrabian Principle, where only 7% of what we communicate is the actual content/words we use. 38% is you tone, intonation, and volume. 55% is body language! Something to think about when communicating with your kids and spouse and others.

-Korean people often resort to making their kids stand in a corner with their arms up in the air for different amounts of time. I did this to my 3 bio kids. I did this as a kid, myself. Is it considered hazing? I dunno.

The (Good) Word of the Day:

"Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin."

-Deuteronomy 24:16

...

Jk! That's not the Good Word of the Day. Deuteronomy just makes me laugh/pee my pants.

"Start children on the way they should go, and even when they are od, they will not turn from it."

-Proverbs 22:6

Kids are always watching us, and imitating us. They are going to learn something from you - so make sure that something is Good!

Thanks for your time this week! We hope you enjoy this week's episode, and we will be back next week with another interview.

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