Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (ROCD): serious illness, or bullsh#t psycho-babble?

Get Over Yourself! The Milt n Mia Show's podcast

After Milt introduces the show, he and Mia speak about their 2 relationship booklets, The Get Over Yourself! Handbook on Cheating and Betrayal and The Get Over Yourself! Handbook on Creating Happiness in a Relationship, before introducing today's show, a look at what psychologists are calling ROCD, or Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which Milt feels is fraudulent. He reads a definition of the disorder, where sufferers are constantly on the alert for signs their partners are cheating, and that analysis makes the problem even worse rather than better. Mia suggests the real problem is labeling and being defined by that label and people searching for the corresponding symptoms. “Some people like to identify themselves to illnesses so they fit in,” Mia says. “In some ways, we are all abnormal nowadays, but you still need some basic principles.” Milt asks, “Are people getting those principles in therapy?” Mia replies, “Rarely. The little problems in therapy become big and expensive ones, and rather than simplifying them, therapy often exaggerates them.”

Milt says, “It's fear, Mia, that we're reacting to, and not phobias,” which Mia agrees with, “It's all in your head, and you start attracting it the longer you keep focusing on it.” Milt adds, “Kahlil Gibrahn says, 'God asked me to forgive my worst enemy, so I forgave myself'.” Mia says, “We are lost inside our own bodies, we're so busy dealing with the outside world, we rarely look within.” Milt says, “That's why therapists are able to come in and fill the void.”

Milt reads an email from a woman who claims she has ROCD and is constantly worried her BF is going to leave her and wants to know if she needs treatment. Mia says, “The moment you think you have some illness, you're gonna go looking for proof; you read the label and then go find your symptoms. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy; and number one in the relationship is trust, and you're wasting your time when you should be focusing on your life and career rather than worrying about your older boyfriend. Is he really lying or are you creating phantoms? In any relationship at the beginning, you can't trust each other till you get to know the person; trust comes with time, and every man says the same thing, but as far as ROCD, I don't buy it and you shouldn't either.”

Milt reads another, from a woman who's stressed-out husband she feels is on the brink of having affairs. Mia says, “Look at all the signs: stress creates things that are not there, so number one, you have to deal with his stress, so take him for a walk, yoga, something that works on his stress because if he does go out alone, all the signs are pointing to him cheating. Do things together and you'll survive.”

Milt adds another email, from a young girl who's mother doesn't want her to sext anymore though she doesn't see any problem. Mia says, “Monkey see, monkey do? You don't know who you're showing your pictures to, the hot guy might be a perverted killer, so don't be so innocent. I can understand if it's your loving BF who cares for you, but just anybody? Men are hunters, and he may be collecting the pics for masturbation, blackmail or distribution, you just don't know. It's much more fun to build an actual relationship, and now is the time in your life to concentrate on you and what you want from life, rather than being a piece of meat.”

Milt reads one last email, from a woman who has a phobia about bacteria and infections, and her husband wants to have sex in a hotel jacuzzi but she is frightened. Mia offers a creative solution, “Get a sexy maid outfit and clean the tub yourself, have fun with it rather than putting up objections.” They then discuss their booklets and materials before closing the show.