HOLYWOOD HANDBOOK REVIEWS: Episode #160

HOLLYWOOD HANDBOOK REVIEWS

Sean and Hayes are brave guys who are comfortable being around "scary people" and interview two women who wrote "How to Win at Feminism", using their own special words for girls like "nnnyuuuuhhh." The women purport to be just like cats (admitting that their writers scratched up pages) while Sean and Hayes field text message interruptions from President Donald J. Trump. They discuss body shaming, bullying, and mansplaining, but Earwolf wired the studio prior to the episode and Scott Anchorman along with the higher ups are listening in, ensuring that this is a "nice and healing" conversation (heavy on the bikinis, two piece.) The emails start rolling in, with *dings!* and the boys try to stay on topic. The women from Reductress, unaware of current events (like the recent Cubs win) or pens (despite having a chapter in their book about office supplies) encourage our boys to purchase a vibrator for use while reading their new book. The women! While discouraging the sexualization of children in the same breath as "stimulating my genitals"... Hayes's phone blows up with emails and Sean attempts to steer away from "hot button issues." "Isn't it nice to put people on a bus and [get them] back to their own countries?" asks Sean. Our boys bravely try to keep the conversation on track while these catwomen hiss and raise their hackles, waiting for a chance to pounce. But Sean and Hayes identify as humankin, not mousekin, ladies! AD BREAK: Ziprecruiter: Dana, an Earwolf producer, though to be "just a normal psychopath," reached into a hole in the ground and pulled out a blind rat octopus monster and started tearing its throat out with her teeth. "I could hear it underground," she explains. Next time, these boys will be using ziprecruiter! ziprecruiter.com/first The boys discuss "the right to be horny at work" while the women are still stuck on horniness and children. (Emails roll in from Earwolf!) "As a woman I have certain sexual desires..*ding!*" The women continue to derail the conversation towards their own sexual urges while Sean and Hayes attempt to redirect them towards other points. The women then discuss tampons instead and talk about removing their tampons on air. "I'm uncomfortable." Sean says, amongst non stop dings. KEVIN THE PHOTOGRAPHER COMES IN. "It has come off as creepy or abrasive if I take the photos without asking..." Kevin explains. The women oblige after promises that they will look "Great." Sean is asked via email to wear a "Make American Gravy Again" hat. "Do you have any other safe spaces in this office where I can take out this tampon?" "WHAT'S IN THE BOOK. HOW'S THE BOOK." Sean asks desperately. I won't spoil the new Earwolf additions to the book. But trust me, they make the book great again. "Our book was already great" they protest. PLUGS: Bath plugs, for when these women are going to take a bath! Sean and Hayes disclose their bathtimes as well, out of fairness. The women are feeling "really dirty right now" and are going to have their baths at the same time! Engineer Sam intervenes and uses his excel skills to be the bath coordinator.