S3E4: Duty, Stated Learning, & Old Veterans

HOV: Veterans Podcast

Welcome everyone to another episode here on HOV: Veterans Podcast, and I’m your host Chris.

It’s been a while since I put out an episode, the Ride with Dan, USA roll up was the last one that I did. Up to that point it is all me, pure laziness and focused on other things. Easier things in some regard.

But the past month I was deeply engaged, and that is what I going to talk about on todays episode.

This is a Veterans Pod, so talking about Veterans and the areas that impact our lives and those around us is what we do.

My Grandpa, 94yo WWII Marine Veteran, Merchant Marines before that, and newest inductee into the Kansas Cowboy Hall of Fame. My Grandpa has filled this life up folks, not only with experiences, but with people.

Not to get into my Grandpa’s medical history, he’s 94yo so you get it. On top of that, he fell going into church and fractured his femur right above the knee. He had his knee replaced a number of years ago, so that messed up the alignment of his hardware. This has made his knee unstable and a concern when living alone. Yes, my Grandpa lived alone til he was 94 years old. But getting up/down stairs, stopping falls without breaking something else is not something he can do alone anymore.

Family got together to get a schedule around. 3 aunts, 2 uncles, jobs and medical issues

Signed up on the duty roster for 30 days

Learned a few things over this period that I’d like to share.

1) Duty & Obligation are over used

Calling, number of cousins that aren’t able to just cut away, they may feel that they are not fulfilling a duty, but in the end its a calling, a draw to this person, to help steady them and ensure they are maintained.

2) Personal Perception in Stated Learning

- we all have those moments where we “change”, the situation dictates that we become someone else. Some times it’s a date, location, but mostly its situations. Think about the idea of Monday’s, going to work after a long weekend of not resting at all. This develops a “state of mind/emotion” around this event. People can do this to us also.

- My Grandpa had this hold on me. Like I said, he has been my best friend longer than anyone else. He directs me as if I was 15yo again, I snap to his directions like I did when I was young too.

- There is nothing wrong with this, per say, when he passes, which we all will, there would have been a feeling of being lost, a great loss to me.

- But walking behind the man who use to tower over me, looking over his head a full foot and holding my hand in a belt grabbing position changed my view of things. This also has nothing wrong attached, a progression that took many years, but one that had to happen at some point. Especially in the sense of mental and emotional health going forward.

3) Old Age Care - My Grandpa has it pretty good. He gets to stay at home, his family will make sure that he is taken care of and he’ll be good to go. The constant contact with my Aunts/Uncles during my time there made things all too clear for me.

I’m going to either be in a Veterans Home or at the mercy of someone that I don’t know to care for me. Either way, I have a lot of work to do on my character. When I look at the situation, me without the ability to do for myself and someone taking care of me, I see only one thing that can make my situation better….a good character. These folks, primarily ladies, are giving their time to cover the cost of resources to propel their family to the next level. They are profiting by my demise. There is no need to confuse the facts there, others will profit in terms of a paycheck for taking care of me till I pass on. My level of character is the only thing that will make a difference at this stage of my journey.

If you haven’t been to an Assistant Living Facility, you should go some time. It’s a good view of how things will be for you, kind of a “Ghost of Christmas Future” if you will. Christmas slang is creeping in this time of year. The bills that are passed that save money, but strip away funds or oversight into these facilities will be something that we fall on to when our time comes. At the same time, you get to see the folks that are engaged and who draw extra attention from the nursing staff. If you’re not that person, well you’re probably just going to stare out the window like an ass, passing the time as a shell of your former self.

Holy shit, didn’t mean to take a few steps down the dark path folks, just trying to paint the picture for ya. It is something that we need to think about. Some of you have parents that will soon be entering this stage of life, it is hard to be a part of, life altering. Something to consider.

All in all, I feel personally, that I came away from the short visit with my Grandpa having cultivated a portion of myself that has changed me, very profoundly. These opportunities don’t come along very often, and certainly the fully engaged nature of the environment had a lot to do with it also. I went to bed thinking about my Grandpa and woke with my first thought turning to him, the rest of the day was focused on his needs. A truly great time, 30 days of hanging with and being there for my oldest friend.

What do things look like going forward for the pod, well… I have no idea. The plan was never to be an old crusty clown still hosting this pod, but for the time being we’ll see what we can make happen for the show. I’ve discussed the nature of the show and how it has its own set of inherent difficulties.

I’ve been picking back up where I left off on the 6 chapter book called “Settlement, Inc”. The 6 chapters will be broken down into 12 episodes, with an opening episode and closing/beginning of the next book. All read by me with a bit of technical wizardary added in for good manner also. I’ll do a brief read as we get closer.

Mr. ChummyVet himself, Ryan Wempe and I are working on a pod that we will host together, more to come from that.

Alright everyone, take it easy out there. Stay safe, blessed, and smiling. Till next time.

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