Leave an Abusive Relationship

I Always Wanted To

Patrisha McLean is a photojournalist whose life was upended in 2016 when her husband of 29 years was arrested for domestic violence. The arrest set her free, and on a course of activism around women’s rights. In 2019 she started the non-profit organization and movement breaking the silence of domestic abuse Finding Our Voices, which is at FindingOurVoices.net. She has a podcast and radio show of conversations with survivors and for 2021 was named one of 21 leaders for the 21st century by Women’s eNews. Also, since leaving my ex, I am doing everything I always wanted to do. "Scuba diving" is one thing, but the biggest thing is probably "making a difference in the world".

Patrisha’s Journey

Our Voices in Biddeford

https://www.facebook.com/breakthesilenceofdomesticabuse/

https://www.instagram.com/finding.our.voices/

https://twitter.com/patrishamclean

Resources Patrisha Mentions FindingOurVoices.net Power and Control Wheel https://findingourvoices.net/projects/#powerwheels

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Remarks

I’ve heard from some of you that you listen for the uplifting and positive stories that my guests often tell. Well today’s topic is a lot more serious than my usual subjects. But while we get into some very dark territory, Patrisha’s story shines light on behavior that’s often not talked about and is especially inspiring because of how she turned her harrowing experience into a way of helping others.

In preparing for this episode, one article I read says that one in every four women and girls worldwide has experienced domestic abuse. I am fortunate that I am not one of them, though I will say that after listening to Patrisha, that there’s a lot of what she describes that’s frighteningly familiar. I have certainly struggled with low self esteem and because of that I’ve tolerated the intolerable.

But not for 29 years.

I wanted to understand what makes a person remain in a relationship when she’s being mistreated. To make sense of the statement “He wouldn’t let me.” Patrisha’s deeply vulnerable and open account helped me comprehend the mechanisms that led her to enter and stay in an abusive relationship, for many years. And how she was finally able to free herself and turn her life around.

I chose not to include all of the examples she shared. There were a lot and it was pretty awful. I left in enough so that people can recognize a variety of behaviors that are not acceptable and also resources that will help you take next steps if you’re a victim or a friend.

I’m deeply grateful to Patrisha McLean for talking with me, and for all of the people doing work to help victims of domestic violence, in particular to Susan Scrupski of Glorious Alone Productions who made the introduction.

Here’s the interview.

Full transcript available at http://ialwayswantedto.net

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