Building Resilience with Danielle Smith

Inside Knowledge

Danielle Smith – Show Notes

Personal definition of resilience – bounce back. Being strong as well being able to bounce back from any situation.

Book – Yesterday’s Tomorrow. Her life story written in fiction format. Talking about how she made it through child hood abuse and neglect at the hands of her mother and her step father. There were a lot of times where she was sent to bed without a meal as a form of punishment. Her Mum taught her to read at a very early age. So Danielle would dive into her book and become the character in that book. Goldilocks and the Three Bears was one of her favourites because she would go into that book and eat porridge. She wanted to give her readers a chance to get away. Although the story has so many emotions but it is a nice little roller coaster; going into the world of Aliyx.

It was hard for her to develop relationships with friends and also dating was hard in beginning; just trusting people.

Triggers are real. You may think you are over the situation and then something can happen. One of her punishments one time was a meal of liver and onions doused with hot sauce and butter milk to drink. Growing up she couldn’t stand the smell of hot sauce. It would make her gag and cry. She was 25 years old before she could smell hot sauce and not be taken back to that time.

Once she moved in with her Dad she didn’t hear from her Mum for a year. When she did start seeing her it was Court ordered and monitored. When she finally had weekend visits with her the relationship was very on the surface because her mother was dealing with alcohol addiction.

At 22 she had her daughter and she noticed that there was a generational cycle they were going through. Her Mum’s Mum didn’t get on and she was the same in her relationship with her Mum. She vowed that her daughter and her would not go down the same path. It showed her Mum and they could have better. It took some years but now they have talked solidly for the last four years.

She treats her daughter like she wanted to be treated.

When she started counselling as an adult her counsellor told her – “you have a right to be angry, you have a right to be sad, you have a right to be depressed”. She had never had anyone tell her that and she cried because she had been validated. She had grown up being told she was crazy.

Once she lived with her father she had a stable home, she had a meal every day, her step mum did her hair and she had clean clothes. She went through verbal and emotional abuse. She was told she wouldn’t be anything, she would end up like her Mum, she’d be stupid like her Mum, she looked just like her Mum.

The counselling really helped when she realised she had to do the steps. Going to support group helps you to realise that you are not alone. That was the most extremely amazing thing for her.

Preparing for her film launch. It is called Don’t Be Quiet. It is the visual to her book. She talks about her surviving abuse and now it is her responsibility to help others. She is also a survivor of domestic violence, suicide and sexual assault. She always felt alone. That is why the hashtag Don’t Be Quiet is important. They will be your voice until you find your own.

Film will premiere on Sunday April 22nd at the Gate Way Film Centre in Columbus, Ohio.

Being able to help people is the greatest feeling ever for Danielle.

She teaches people the signs of abuse so they can help others who are in trouble.

The hardest time for a domestic violence victim is when they are trying to leave. That is when they will need your support the most.

She had an escape plan and a place to go to that her abusive partner did not know about.

The book ends in a cliff hanger but there will be a part two – as she is writing another book.

Personal tools – affirmations. Make sure you are planting positive seeds into the air so that they will come back to you. “I am wonderful, I am beautiful, I am amazing.”