IPD 030: Feedback Friday – Raising Your Children Differently

Intuitive Parenting Daily

Hello and welcome to feedback Friday. This is the day where I answer your questions. I had the question this week about whether I raise my two children differently based on their different genders and/or characteristics. I’ve got a daughter and a son. The fact is that I think I do raise my children differently in that they are different people. Not so much because of their gender, but because of who they are as people. They are very different characters. They bring their own stuff into every situation.

The other thing that really goes on, that I notice, is it’s about the dynamic that happens between me and my stuff, and my children and their stuff. What I really find interesting, and what I like to focus on, is what I can actually learn from my children. So for example, my daughter can sometimes be a little bit stubborn and fixed in her thinking. My husband will be the first to tell you that I can be a little bit stubborn and fixed in my thinking too, which means that with my daughter, I’ve actually got to learn to be more flexible. I’ve got to learn to actually flow a bit more with where she’s at and what she needs to get from the situation, and not always feel like I’ve got to be right.

In that case, I’m parenting her differently to my son. So with my son, he’s a cruisey cat. He’s great at being really relaxed, which means, also, that sometimes he’s just not organised. He just doesn’t do stuff that I want him to do. Now, the thing is, is that I am not great, in fact I’m pretty terrible, at being a cruisey cat and being relaxed. With my son, it’s about me actually learning to be patient and allowing him to do some things in his time in his own way. So it’s about what I’m learning from them, as much as what I’m teaching them or doing differently with them.

I’m also really, really open for them to learn from others. They don’t have to learn everything from me. They learn different things from my husband, from their grandparents, from other people around them. But the other thing to say is what wraps around these differences is our sense of family culture or family values. We all live in this family and that wraps around my parenting, whether it’s with my son or my daughter. So the dynamic is different, yes. But the family culture and family values are the same.

If you have a question for Feedback Friday, I would love to hear from you. Please post a question below or email me at [e-mail]

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