Eps 206: The path to radical acceptance

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By Casey O'Roarty. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK will be available so soon!! I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again. Keep staying tuned in for details as we get closer to launch day!! Follow Joyful Courage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

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Hey friends… thank you for meeting me here. Thank you for seeing me and for sharing the ways that this podcast resonates with you and supports you. I have received feedback from so many ofyou talking about how this show is a lifeline for you, and a place where the experience you are having on the parenting journey is validating.

When I first started this show….

  • I had been practicing and facilitating PD for about 7 years
  • Blogging about my experience was landing with readers
  • My community and access of parent educators was growing and I wanted to share conversations with all of you
  • I was looking for a creative way to share content and build my biz
  • I released my first four episodes on April 9th of 2015, my kids were 9 and 12 – in third and sixth grade…. Seems like a lifetime ago

What I didn’t see coming….

  • How easy it was to be in conversation with people I admired about the parenting jourey
  • That I would really be talking so much about HUMANING
  • My desire to do solo shows and share so vulnerably would be so strong
  • That my solo shows would land so deeply with the community
  • That I would feel such a deep connection to listeners
  • That the show would become a life line for ME
  • The tension of leading a community while also navigating the experience of my own children’s teen years….

I’m in a time of transition….

  • My offerings are geared more and more to parents of teens – this has been the result of looking for support myself and not finding offers that were useful to me, that spoke to me and my style of parenting…
  • I want to be having conversations about the teen years – but also about humaning, because inside of all of this work we are growing and developing as human beings – every single day I am living this….
  • What I am also noticing is that there are less interviews that I want to be having…. I am feeling less connected to the interview format and more drawn to just speaking directly to you….
  • So I hope that is ok……

Life happens for you

  • This season is unexpected
  • Long time listeners know that I am in it deep and practicing every day to be as aware and awake as I can with my teens
  • We’ve dealt with it all and continue to e surprised by what is showing up – like, really surprised
  • We can’t know how the narrative will go – we can convince ourselves that we can control it only to be shown time and time again that we CAN NOT
  • I am again in a new place of being show that I have NO CONTROL of the narrative when it comes to my kids….

Radical Acceptance

  • Have you heard of this?
  • DBT (which I haven’t ever done and know really nothing about accepting something with all of your soul opening yourself to fully experience the reality of the moment
  • Fighting reality continues suffering
  • Being in acceptance allow “radically accept that you want something you don’t have and it’s not a catastrophe” – Marsha Lineham

Past and future fucks us up

  • How many of us feel guilty and rack our brains looking for where we screwed up? If we did it differently we wouldn’t be in the situation we are in….
  • But but but…. Shouldn’t we think about the future? And how can we not??? I have hopes and dreams for my kids, of course.
  • THEY ARE THE DESIGNERS OF THEIRL IFE AND HOW CAN I GET OUT OF THE WAY????????
  • Creating a space that is pure enough for them to trust themselves.

Popular conversations

  • Would have us believe that there is a five step process for getting the outcome we want with our kids
  • Popular conversations would have us believe that parenting is about them and not us
  • Popular conversations would have us believe that if things go sideways it is about something that we are doing wrong, that there is something to fix
  • Popular conversation blames the world today, technology, and teens themselves for what we are seeing

What if popular conversation is wrong

What if parenting is all about us?

What if no matter WHAT we do, our kids are going to experience the path they are meant to experience?

What if right here, right now, is exactly as it is meant to be?

Radical acceptance.

If this is exactly where we are meant to be, with all fo the challenges that exist – and I see you out there. Those of you with kids who are navigating mental health challenges, drug use and abuse, risky behavior –

I see you out there who FROM THE BEGINNING were invited into radical acceptance due to your childs different abilities – whether they be physical, mental or emotional. You are the ones that all of us can learn from. This is old news, this idea of accepting reality AS IT IS. Thank you for being models for the rest of us and modeling what this looks like….

If this is exactly where we are meant to be, if we accept rather than resist the reality that we are finding ourselves in day to day, then there must be a purpose.

Perhaps it is as simple as sitting in this space. Allowing the physical, emotional, and spiritual experience of this acceptance to live without trying to make it go away.

My own experience with this….

  • Eps 203 I talked about getting a therapist
  • Current situation creating a physical response in my body
  • Somatic therapy/radical acceptance called me to transform the experience
  • What also shows up….. self doubt (the ego is super loud)
  • Back to radical acceptance, back to turning inward and being with what is showing up

Raise your hand if you can’t sleep?

Raise your hand if your belly is tied up in knots?

Raise your hand if you are experiencing feat that is with you all.damn.day?

I see you.

Radical acceptance. Things are as they are.

  • Feel that
  • Notice what shows up
  • Allow it to have a voice
  • How does your body respond?
  • What happens when you bring compassion?
  • Can you be with it?

We are not in charge of the narrative that is our children’s lives. Yet , as that narrative plays out, we can write our own narrative about how we are going to show up……

And right now, the narrative that I am writing is one of radical acceptance.

I love you!

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Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!! I appreciate you!!!!

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274 episodes