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Manage episode 203149988 series 2199051
Many of men have been the victim of ghosting.
Some take it harder than others. I get a lot of questions on why. In this post I'm going to explain a few situations that articulate why women ghost based on my experience.
That being said, here goes:
They think they found someone better - Notice how I say "think", this is because especially on dating apps gals disappear when they start talking to another guy that they may or may not have even met yet. They start to get emotionally invested in him and thus forget about you, someone who is providing you less stimulation to their ever so delicate pleasure center.
You offended them - Dating apps especially leave a lot up for interpretation. Gals think they have more options than they do, people misrepresent things that are said and start to build false narratives in their mind and so forth. These are all dangerous and close minded things to do but women do them. Taking it with a grain of salt is a non existent concept and gals are sitting their with their hand on the nuke button just looking for a reason to say no to you. So, it you're trying to keep a gal engaged unfortunately you're going to have to kiss her ass and feed her the better and neutral parts of your personality first.
They're having buyer's remorse - Maybe they got bored at the bar and started liking people randomly because they're feeling lonely and nobody is responding to them both on the app and in real life. At this point they will start lowering their "bar" for what they consider an acceptable mate. You may even start a lively exchange over text and plan to meet up the next day or in the near future. Then all of a sudden you don't hear from her anymore. It's because she's sobered up and you are no longer appealing to her. This is also known as buyer's remorse, when you buy something and either regret it or want to take it back to the store for a refund because money in your pocket is more valuable than the said object. Gals are notorious for this. So be aware of what time of day you're receiving messages from this gal and don't take it to heart if and when she changes her mind.
They stalked you and didn't like what they found - Gals might as well be another branch of the Central Intelligence Agency. On one hand it makes me feel good to know that if our country goes to war we already have a network of several hundred million spies already in place when the Chinese invade. On the other hand, this can present a significant challenge to a guy trying to build some clout with a gal who's out there creepin'. The problem with this is that if a gal finds something she doesn't like, you will never have the opportunity to face your accuser. She will just ghost you. It could have been something as simple as you making a comment on your friend's Facebook page. Whatever it is, she's looking for photos, comments, timestamps to support whatever false narrative she's building in her mind. So be aware of this and lock down your shit in anyway you can so you get to tell her the story and she doesn't try to put one together from pages she finds scattered in the street after the trashman knocked over the recycling bin. While there is not much you can do to protect against this, it's worth mentioning so you understand the process these gals are going through.
You went on a date with them and the fantasy in their mind didn't sync up with reality - Even though I using dating apps, I'm really only doing it for entertainment purposes, my own entertainment. In my mind it is all bullshit because women and men think differently and they always will. When women engage on these apps it fires synapses like crazy to their fantasy center where they are playing candyland and Unicorns are running around grazing on trufula trees. Then when they show up to the restaurant and they don't see the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus they get disappointed. During this dissappointment phase a gal is sitting there staring at you with glazed over eyes hoping the clouds above your head are going to turn into cotton candy. When they don't reality starts to set in and they hit the ejection seat in their mind. Sure, they will say the date went great or that they would like to do it again but that is all bullshit to protect them from a possible retaliatory strike from you. Gals don't want confrontation, especially with a man because they can be big and scary.
You didn't work hard enough - I've only met a few gals that presented themselves exactly as they were and didn't play mind games or anything else. Funny enough, one of them was a Psychiatrist. If only every gal had the understanding of herself as she did. There was no games or bullshit. I'm sure she knows how fucked up gals minds are and because of that she knows exactly how to present herself to dispel the social stigmas. And she did. It was honestly one of the only real interactions I have experienced. I mean the only reason we didn't pursue something is because I'm still in my Playboy phase and have a lot going on that wouldn't be conducive to a healthy relationship, but the opportunity was there and that's the kind of gal I would ultimately want.
Anyways... on to the story. Sometimes you'll go on a date and she'll like you but she is going to play a little game and make you jump through a few more hoops like a circus animal because she believes her pussy is a little bit more valuable than what's being sold on the open market. That's fine, but a lot of times gals will not tell you exactly what hoop to jump through. They just assume you know that there is one. I've seen this happen culturally as well. Certain gals want you to play a game you don't know the rules for because that's the game their culture plays. I experienced this with really hot Indian women. They would expect me to do all this post game activity, follow up and other shit to make it seem worth it to me. One gal even told me "You're going to have to work for it" This can be good because you may attract some really good gals worth putting in the work for. In my case though, I have already put in the work in life to establish myself as a high value male. That being said, if you are going to make me do additional labor when I already have a PHD in my given field, you are now going to get kicked back down to the maintenance department for further review because you're no longer a high value lead because you're putting me through a low value activity. I don't have time for it. Either you see it you don't, but I can't provide you with that vision, you have to already have it. So regardless of who is reading this, you need to understand that some people want you to work harder. In other words squeaky wheel gets the grease. It's all up to you how much bullshit and time you want to put in. In my experience if they make you work hard for the sake of working hard it's probably not an idea situation for you. I have seen these same girls getting pounded in foreign countries by guys they just met. That being said, these gals might think that you did not display enough value to them to be a keeper, so they ghosted you.
They just changed their mind (for any reason) - It's not uncommon for a gal to start dating, online dating, using apps or whatever then change her mind because of reasons that have nothing to do with you. Hell, I've done this same thing. You start dating, realize it's too much work relative to what you have going on your life at that moment, so you chose not to date or temporarily take yourself off the market. Just be aware of this so you know it may not even be about you.
Those are some pretty good points. I hope this provides better insight.