About Jen, Your Host of the Mom Life Podcast


Manage episode 173637174 series 1395362
By Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio streamed directly from their servers.

Hi friends! Thanks so much for joining me here.

Before we dive into my weekly chats where I get to chat with other incredible moms who are leaning into finding their direction I want to share with you a bit about me and why this podcast has been on my heart for the last 8 months.

I always knew I wanted to be a mom.

As I grew up I also knew I wanted to go to college and find a cool grown up job and be independent.

After fulfilling those dreams of college and big adult job I got married and my urge to be a mom was strong. A semi short version of this story is my body did not want to become a mom.

I spent 5 long years visiting various doctors, having major and minor surgeries. I took medications that had me on an emotional roller coaster. Medications that brought me to my knees on our bathroom floor Christmas of 2010. I remember that moment so vividly. It was the first time I realized I might never give birth to a baby that was the perfect mix of my husband and me. I also began to wonder if maybe I wasn’t supposed to be mom at all. Maybe I mis-read the signs.

Over the next few years I battled back and forth with wanting to find out why my body was not wanting to do what it was created to do and then wanting to just forget about it and live life.

A few minor procedures and a few failed rounds of IUI in the Fall of 2013 and I felt my heart telling me to stop. My husband was getting ready to deploy and I wanted to just feel free. I didn’t want my heart to feel so heavy. We decided I wouldn’t do any more rounds of IUI during his 9 month deployment. Instead we would save and plan to adopt.

4 months after he returned home by a true miracle of God, no medications, and with a body that was my medical standards not functioning properly we were pregnant. {side note this phrase always makes me laugh because by we i really mean me. }

At 7 weeks pregnant this miracle baby began to show me that my world was going to be turned upside down. The type-A planner gal was no longer in control. I spent the next 2 months ridiculously sick. So sick I had to take a leave of absence from my virtual job. Throwing up often, finding myself in the hospital a few times for an IV to get hydrated, and finally on medication to keep me from spending my days in the bathroom.

It was from this early point that i realized any plans I had to keep my perfect schedule was not going to happen. I was also so miserable I began to wonder if this whole motherhood this was for me. Could I hack it? Would I struggle for conception on?!

I didn’t know what life post baby would be like, but I did know that I was to trust my gut and go with what I felt God was telling me to do. My gut was telling me to take things slow. Enjoy this new season of motherhood. Enjoy what you had come to accept might never happen.

Wouldn’t it be great if that is exactly what I did. If i woke up every day and said this is it. This is where i am meant to be and just allowed myself to be in the moment.

Well I didn’t.

I felt lost.

Well really I felt fairly calm and confident as a new mom, but I felt lost as a person.

I struggled with knowing if I should go back to work fulltime, should I continue to pursue my own business, or just sit in the quiet.

I think once a week I was convinced I was supposed to do one of those things and then the next week I was convinced I was supposed to do the other.

This is when i began to really see things in a new light. I realized every mom friend that I had wondered if what they were doing was their right path.

What I quickly began to see was that we all are searching for our direction. We are all wondering, praying and hoping that we are making the right choices in both motherhood and our own lives, separate of motherhood.

I began to see that when I would lean in to the direction I was meant to go and not focus on what I thought I needed to be doing, or doing what everyone else was doing I began to see the signs more clearly and felt like I was doing what I meant to do for this season of my life.

That is how and why this podcast was born. If I’m being honest I don’t know if the podcast is more for me, or for others. But my intention is to get to chat with other moms who are leaning in to their direction, or learning to lean into it.

Ive met many mamas online and in real life that have shared some piece of wisdom with me, either large or small but it has helped me to keep moving forward. Their honesty and transparency about feeling lost at times or their constant struggle to keep everything moving and fight to find balance has been invaluable for me to wake up each morning and know that I’m working to find and follow the direction I was meant to go.

My hope is that each week my guests will help you to lean into the direction you are meant to go. Not the direction you think you should go, or you think your family and friends want you to go, but the direction you yourself are feeling pulled into.

18 episodes available. A new episode about every 6 days averaging 31 mins duration .