198: Pressure of Perfectionism in Motherhood


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By Katayune Kaeni, Psy.D. and Katayune Kaeni. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Do you identify as a perfectionist? Do you feel like things need to be a certain way and if they aren't, you feel unsettled? How did that affect you when you were trying to conceive, during pregnancy, birthing or postpartum?

This is one of those things that really impacts the early stages of motherhood and parenthood (and all stages really). In this episode, I talk about the dynamics that I see with the mamas that I help...and one that I struggled with in my postpartum...and still work on managing. I touch on how it even impacted the recording of this episode.

Some of the things we address on this episode...

*The struggle with feeling the need to be perfect

*It seems that perfectionism often comes with a high sense of morality and conscientiousness - I believe that this makes intrusive thoughts even more unbearable.

*Perfectionism often develops as a way to cope and manage life. But that way of coping goes head to head with the challenges of new parenthood.

*The stress of perfectionism, can make getting help feel hard. Help can feel SLOW or inadequate.

*Accepting that we can't be perfect is very hard, and it's part of the key to healing.

If you identify with any of this, take a listen to the episode, give yourself a big hug and please know that this is not a judgment of you. Please know that you can find a new way to cope that is more forgiving to yourself.

If you'd like, please check out the blog post on the Postpartum Support International Blog that I mentioned: Soul Level Crisis

Please pass this episode along to any person who could benefit!

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212 episodes