147: Taboo Postpartum Truths - When Expectations Don't Meet Reality


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By Katayune Kaeni, Psy.D., Katayune Kaeni, and Psy.D.. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

We’ve talked a lot on the show about postpartum depression, but there’s another condition that new moms experience that carries much shame, and no one talks about it. It’s called postpartum regret, and it’s that feeling of dissatisfaction and unhappiness with the demands of motherhood and the changes that come with this life transition. We’re talking about how to identify this condition and what to do to pull yourself through it.

Marissa Zwetow is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in prenatal and postpartum counseling. Marissa became passionate about helping mothers prepare and adjust to a new baby after experiencing postpartum depression. She understands what it takes to be on a healing journey to find acceptance, meaning, and happiness in the role of motherhood.

Show Highlights:

  • Marissa’s personal journey as she struggled with the transition into motherhood and knew she needed help
  • How she identified postpartum regret as the feeling of regret at becoming a mother, but no one was talking about it
  • How the shame, embarrassment, struggle, and disappointment can lead to postpartum depression
  • Why Marissa wanted validation for herself and other moms who hated being a mom and were saying, “I don’t like this”
  • How she went through an identity crisis in becoming a mom
  • A look at Marissa’s 12 Taboo Postpartum Truths:
    • Lack of bond with the baby during the “golden hour”
    • A baby that’s not easily soothed
    • Breastfeeding is not always wonderful
    • A mother may experience grief for her past life
  • Why Marissa wishes she would have sought help and taken antidepressants sooner
  • Solutions to postpartum regret:
    • Find your tribe and know that you’re not alone
    • Get help any way you can
    • Redefine what being a mother is to YOU
  • Why moms need permission to figure out how they can best show up in parenting that works for them



Find Marissa on Facebook

Find Marissa on Instagram: @postpartumhappiness

Marissa’s books: Postpartum Happiness: What to do when you love the kids but hate the job

12 Taboo Postpartum Truths: What you may need to know, but probably haven’t been told

162 episodes