NFL 027: Repost - "Happy Together" by Suzann & James Pawelski


Manage episode 284942849 series 1556353
By Janet Perry, Janet Perry: blogger, and Nonfiction book lover. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.


To be happy together, whether you’re starting a new relationship, weathering difficult times, or jump-starting a long-term marriage, Suzie and James Pawelski can help. Their book, Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts, isn’t the typical approach to romance. But this husband-and-wife research team has found how to ignite (or reignite) passion.


Together, the Pawelskis identify four key areas crucial to building and sustaining love over the long run:

  1. Harmonious passion: remembering who we are as individuals and seeking out new adventures together that both enjoy
  2. Positive emotions: feelings of joy, gratitude, and hope to help motivate couples to invest in each other’s well-being and engage in mutual care
  3. Mindful savoring: the importance of actively and consciously valuing another and expressing this appreciation to nurture and enhance the relationship
  4. Character strengths: why we need to define, find, and cultivate our individual potential and support our partner’s growth simultaneously

Happy Together is the first book to apply principles of positive psychology to create successful, satisfying bonds that last. It’s a roadmap for rewarding, long-lasting romance. Refreshingly upbeat, the Pawelskis encourage couples to focus on their strengths. In other words, rather than prescribe cures for failing relationships, they suggest exercises as simple as talking about each other’s strengths to build positive emotions.

From there, couples can further leverage strengths by planning dates that bring out the best in both partners. Another healthy exercise to lengthen and strengthen sweet moments of emotional closeness is slowing down to share your love story—the highs and the lows. Recounting how you’ve both conquered challenges and relished the good times can greatly increase your enjoyment of those experiences.

Of course, falling in love and even being in love doesn’t mean you will magically have your dream relationship. Rather, relationships improve over time when partners practice key skills and cultivate loving habits. The Pawelskis encourage us to practice these skills in our own “relationship gym” because all relationships need work.

BUY Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts by Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, MAPP and James O. Pawelski, Ph.D


Check out the Pawelskis’ website Build Happy Together, and spend 15 minutes with your loved one taking the VIA Survey of Character Strengths.

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