Episode 53: Jurassic Park - What's Love Got To Do With It: June 11, 1993

Opening Weekend

It’s June 11th, 1993 and vicious dinosaurs once again roam the earth: The Tyrannosaurus Rex! The Velociraptor! The Ike Turner! This week the boys are rollin’ down the river and digging up JURASSIC PARK and WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT. Hold onto your butts and Welcome…to Episode 53 of Opening Weekend Park!

Shhh. Do you hear that? That low, deep rumbling sound? Is it a T-Rex approaching? Tina Turner getting ready to let loose a soulful wail? Or just Dan warming up his hands for a rendition of “Private Dancer”?

Or maybe…(pan camera, zoom in slowly onto Richard Attenborough, and in sotto voce): ”…it’s all three?”

In June of 1993, while Steven Spielberg was breaking box office records, Dan was breaking into box office registers.

Or WAS he?

While Angela Bassett was the embodiment of a singing legend who shared a tumultuous life with an abusive husband, Jason was the embodiment of a happily married man who shared a summer-stock bed with his loving wife.

Or WAS he?

And while Sam Neil and Laura Dern were speeding away from a T-Rex in a jeep, Fred was speeding away from his dignity in a trolley car dressed in a pinstripe suit and holding a Hershey Bar as the life drained from his eyes.

OR. WAS. HE???

So many questions, so few answers.

Is love just a second-hand emotion? Does Newman actually know how to use a winch properly? Is Fred really a famous Nintendo plumber from Italy? Will it be another 60 million years before the next episode comes out? Must go faster, must go faster…

We don’t need another hero, Ms. Turner, but we do need Episode 53 of Opening Weekend!