Ep180: What Is a “Men’s Group?” & Why “Men’s Work” is Beneficial for Both Men & Women | with Traver Boehm

Optimize Yourself

“If the pressure is building so much and you're just trying to 'keep it all together', at some point it's going to crack.”

- Traver Boehm

Traver Boehm is the founder of the UNcivilized Men’s Movement, the fastest growing men’s movement in the world. He is the author of Today I Rise, and Man UNcivilized as well as a two-time TEDx speaker, men’s coach, and podcaster. Traver’s approach challenges the stereotyped “Marlboro Man” we have been conditioned to believe is “masculine” and instead has men unpack the suppressed emotions that are dictating their unhealthy behaviors and destructive actions (that negatively affect all of us).

I get it: If you’re thinking that a men’s movement is the LAST thing the world needs right now, I would have agreed with you 100%. I too was skeptical about two white guys talking about “men’s work,” but I’m always willing to entertain different viewpoints if there is a clear benefit to society at large (standing desks and shorter work hours come to mind). And it doesn’t take long for Traver to convince me that the men’s work he is doing is vital to moving towards a more equitable and empathetic society for all genders, races, and other. During the course of this conversation, I even realized my Sunday ninja training group is actually my unofficial men’s group (for which my wife will attest to the benefits!).

Whether you self-identify as a man, or if you simply have men in your life, this episode will help you better understand what it means to be a “man” in today’s society (and spoiler alert: It includes having real emotions and being able to express them honestly).

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Here's What You'll Learn:

• What is men's work?
• Where personal development falls short and what the missing piece is.
• The elephant in the room: why should we listen to two white guys talk about men’s problems?
• Why it’s important to look at trauma instead of suppressing it.
• How Traver got involved in men’s work.
• Traver’s story of hitting rock bottom.
• Two important questions he asked himself to change his situation.
• Why does it have to be a men’s only group?
• Why my wife insists I train with my Ninja group every Sunday.
• The history of why men are culturally encouraged to suppress their emotions.
• Why men need a healthy release for the pressure they are under.
• The gender difference between acceptable emotions to express.
• Knowing when to be vulnerable and when to be strong.
• Is it true that a ‘happy wife equals a happy life’?
• Why all healthy relationships need conflict.
• The value in doing hard things.

Useful Resources Mentioned:

Man UNcivilized

The Man UNcivilized Book

The UNcivilized Podcast with Traver Boehm

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Guest Bio:

Traver Boehm

Traver Boehm is the founder of the UNcivilized Men’s Movement, the fastest growing men’s movement in the world. He is the author of Today I Rise, and Man UNcivilized as well as a two time TEDx speaker, men’s coach and podcaster.

Drawing upon an eclectic background ranging from professional bodyguarding and Mixed Martial Arts to a Master’s Degree in Traditional Chinese Medicine and meditation, Traver counsels men, women, and couples on how to better understand men’s mental health and relationship difficulties.

Although he’s not quite sure how to feel about the title, he has been dubbed, “The Man Whisperer” as he has the unique ability to speak to men in a way they can hear and understand.

With a passion for people and a unique lens through which to view the human experience, Traver is a highly sought after teacher in the fields of consciousness, intimacy, and personal development.

When not teaching workshops or radically shifting the way men experience their masculinity, Traver can be found obsessing over a single word in front of his laptop, chasing surf around the globe, and being awful at yoga.

Show Credits:

This episode was edited by Curtis Fritsch, and the show notes were prepared by Debby Germino and published by Glen McNiel.

The original music in the opening and closing of the show is courtesy of Joe Trapanese (who is quite possibly one of the most talented composers on the face of the planet).