Favorite (and least favorite) Things Right Now – Episode 82: PaleOMG Uncensored Podcast

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Today on the podcast, I’m sharing my favorite things that I can’t get enough of right now! Plus I’m sharing things that I pretty much can’t stand at the moment. Sharing it allllll.

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Big thank you to this week’s sponsor!

Siete is a healthy Mexican-American food brand that makes grain free and paleo-friendly tortillas and tortilla chips, and they are a brand I talk about weekly because I love them so much. Siete has three different kinds of grain-free tortilla chips including sea salt, lime and nacho and the chips are made simply with simple ingredients like cassava flour, avocado oil, coconut flour, ground chia seed, sea salt, and citric acid. And their bags are puffed to perfection so even the last chip you have at the bottom of the bag is still a full chip, instead of a crumbled mess like most chips. And their tortillas are just as delicious. They offer almond flour tortillas, cassava & chia tortillas, and my favorite – cassava and coconut tortillas. And right now, Siete would like to offer PaleOMG Uncensored listeners 10% off at sietefoods.com if they use the promo code PALEOMG. Just go to sietefoods.com and use promo code PALEOMG for 10% off right now!

Support the podcast by clicking the Subscribe button on iTunes and please a review only if you love the podcast! There is enough negativity in this world, don’t spread more. I love hearing about what YOU want me to talk about so feel free to leave on comment here or on social media with topics you’d like me to cover! And don’t forget, some posts have affiliate links which I may be compensated from. This compensation helps with keeping this blog and up and running! Thank you so much for your support, you guys are amazing!

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Episode 82 Transcription!

This week’s podcast is brought to you by Siete. Siete is a healthy Mexican-American food brand that makes grain free and paleo friendly tortillas and tortilla chips. They are a brand I talk about every week, because I love them. If you hear any slurping in this intro, I’m sure you’ll totally enjoy that. But that’s because I was just snacking on some Siete brand tortilla chips. I love them. I’ll eat them with salsa. You can make nachos with them. They’re so freaking good. And they’re made by the Garza family, which is made up of 7 people. Do you get why it’s named Siete? Do you understand? Ok, good.

When one of the children in the family, Veronica, was diagnosed with multiple autoimmune conditions, she began cooking with new ingredients, and the family came together to help her support her new diet and lifestyle. But they didn’t want to give up their Mexican traditions, so they started creating the most delicious things. Like their tortillas. And I think this is life changing for the paleo community. I mean, where else can you get paleo tortillas? They’re so freaking cool.

They have three different kinds of tortilla chips. They have sea salt, lime, and nacho. And their tortillas; they have an almond flour tortilla, a coconut cassava, and they also have a chia cassava tortilla. I love all three, but for the tortillas, my favorite is the coconut cassava. It just folds so well, and is super chewy and delicious and what you want in a tortilla. It’s so freaking good. I always have them every night at taco Tuesday whenever we have family dinner. Sometimes I’ll just crumble some tortilla chips on top of a taco salad. It’s just the best brand.

They’re truly such an amazing company, because the people that are behind it. Not only the Garza family, but everybody else who works on the staff is just so happy to work there and are working their butts off in Austin, Texas. They’re so great.

And you can see how great they are, because they want to offer PaleOMG Uncensored listeners 10% off your order at SieteFoods.com if you use the promocode PaleOMG. That means you can take back taco Tuesday and celebrate, all at 10% off. Just go to SieteFoods.com and use the promo code PaleOMG. And don’t forget to follow them on Instagram, because you are going to fall in love with them. They’re truly the best, and their food is super inspiring. So go get your discount. SieteFoods.com, promo code PaleOMG for 10% off.

This is Juli Bauer from PaleOMG and you are listening to PaleOMG Uncensored.

Juli Bauer: Hello, hello, little pumpkin butt. I’m looking at Jacksons little pumpkin butt right now. I’m sure he will bark many times throughout this podcast, because the door is open. He can see out into the world. And he barks at anything and everything.

I remember the days when Jackson didn’t bark. And those were really good days. That was also before I had a glass front door that he could look out. So he saw nothing. So he never barked. But Jackson barking. Not cute.

He’s gotten a little grumpy in his old age. The other day I took him for a walk. And I talked about it on my Instagram stories. But there’s this woman who takes her dog on a walk, and she often just takes him. Or lets go of the leash, so he can just go everywhere. Which, I get. Totally get. But, he f*cking always; Jackson and him do not get along. I don’t know why. They’re trying to alpha male it out.

So their fur starts standing up, and they start getting closer to each other. And I’m pulling Jackson back, because he’s starting to get pissed. And I have nowhere to go, because the dog is coming at us. And this f*cking b*tch won’t grab her goddamn dog and grab the leash. She just lets him go. So what happens? They start attacking each other. And I’m pulling Jackson back. It sounds like a huge dog fight is going on, but they’re not doing anything. But they’re still fighting.

And the woman’s like; oh, he gets along with everybody. I’m like; obviously, he doesn’t, you dumb C-word! I’m a little riled up about it, because I saw her again today. It’s like; grab your dog. I get it. He gets along with most dogs. He’s not getting along with mine. So what do you do? You grab his leash and you pull him back. You don’t just meander around and keep talking to your f*cking friends. What kind of dog owner are you? That’s not a good dog owner. I hate this woman. This has happened on multiple occasions.

And I talked about this on my Instagram stories. And somebody; I loved this idea. Somebody told me that I should carry a small water bottle with me, so whenever this dog comes by I can just start spraying the dog. Which I think is hilarious. Because no hurt to the dog. I’m not hurting the dog. But I’m getting dog off of my dog. Who are attacking each other. And then I say, hey woman, actually you should carry this. She didn’t tell me to do that part. But I love the water bottle idea. And then I can just hand it to her and say; hey. You could use this next time your dog attacks mine. That would be really great. Or you could just put the leash around your hand. You dumb C.

Is it ok if I say that? Dumb C? Then I’m not that bad, right? Then I’m not that mean, right? I don’t know.

Anywho. Right now, as I record this, you’re going to be hearing this a week out. I’m recording this a week early because I’m going to the Caribbean tomorrow. So right now, I’m sitting with a spray tan on. The problem with spray tans is they’re very f*cking sticky. So I have this sticky ass spray tan on. So I’m sitting on a towel on the couch. Then the towel is wrapped over me so I can put my computer on my lap. And I’m sitting with my legs wide. Because you get sweaty, and you get these weird marks in your inner thighs. Spray tans are such a pain in the ass. But they make me feel so much more confident about myself.

And I’m getting a spray tan because I’m going to the Caribbean. The whole gist of this conversation is this podcast will be coming out early, because. Not early. I suck at talking. This podcast will be coming out after I already recorded it early, and I will be in the Caribbean, and I’m trying to not get on my computer pretty much the entire time there. Only get on my phone just a little bit to post any fun photos and whatever else. Just fun stuff that I want to post. Not just work stuff. I’m just so excited.

My husband and I are leaving. He hasn’t been able to get excited, because he had to go to Michigan a couple of days ago for two fast days. And he was exhausted. It’s just been go, go, go. So I can’t wait for him to actually get to go on vacation.

The last big trip we had was our one-year anniversary for our wedding last year, and we went to Costa Rica. It was so freaking awesome. I loved it so, so much. And he was just himself. He got to be himself. Because he has a stressful job. He works 6 days a week. So this is a time he gets to be completely himself. And it’s just the best. So I can’t wait to reconnect, to make out, to explore new places. It’s going to be the best.

Anyway. I don’t know how I got on this topic. But right now, I’m sitting with a nasty ass spray tan. I just got my hair done, so I’m trying to pull my hair off of my spray tan. I’m going to do a workout before I leave tomorrow. And I’m going to try to do the least sweaty workout of all. So I don’t have to wash my hair. Because after I dye my hair, since I’m a natural blonde, I try not to wash for like 5 days to keep the color in it as long as possible. {laughs}

Damn this blonde hair. Why doesn’t your hair just take on the color you want it to? You workout, and your body starts to take shape. I’ve dyed my hair for f*cking; how long has it been? Since I was 14? How long is that? 16 years? And it wont take on the color I want it? I’ve taught my body to be more fit. I’ve taught it to be more healthy. And my hair can’t be more brown? Whatever. So annoyed.

Anyway. So I’m going to do today’s podcast. Obviously, you’ve read the title. It’s going to be my favorite things. But I’m also going to talk about my least favorite things. And I know that’s so negative. But I was listening to Joy and Clare on Girls Gone WOD podcast. I forget what their topics were exactly, but it was kind of like; what are you not feeling lately. And they asked their listeners, and some listeners were talking about kombucha and that sort of thing. So I thought I’d do my own spinoff of my least favorite things.

And it honestly was kind of hard to think of least favorite things. Maybe that means I’m being positive lately. Probably because I’m f*cking going on vacation, so it’s easy. But, I’m on my period right now, so I should be a b*tch, right? I should have a lot of negative things. But I don’t. So thank you for listening.

Ok. So talking about least sweaty workouts; oh, my GoPro just turned on. I didn’t say that, but cool GoPro. GoPro turn off. I hope you can hear that beep. That’s hilarious. I just bought a GoPro for my Caribbean trip, because I want to try to do video and try to step my game up in the blogging world without knowing what the f*ck I’m doing. I don’t even know how to use my GoPro. Obviously, it just turned on out of nowhere.

Ok. Back to the point. Favorite things. Talking about least sweaty workouts that I was just mentioning I need to do. I have started to go to this gym called Transform. So I feel like I’ve been on this fitness journey lately. I used to compete in CrossFit. I started doing CrossFit 5 days a week after I stopped competing. And then I wanted to get a bigger butt. I wanted to have a more plump butt. Because if you see crossfitters, they don’t have; I guess they have butts, but they don’t have bubble butts. It’s like they have thick legs, thick butt; great, beautiful, stunning. But I want more of a cute little butt.

So I started doing butt workouts on top of my CrossFit workouts every week. And my legs started getting thicker, and my butt definitely had more definition and started looking better, but then my legs started getting bigger. And I’m not trying to have thicker, bigger legs. If I could get just more shapely, incredibly beautiful legs, that would be wonderful. But my genetics are not exactly set up for that, motherf*ckers. I’m talking about my genetics.

So, anyway. My legs started getting thicker, and I wasn’t comfortable with that. I just wasn’t comfortable in my skin. Then another problem I started to run into is I started feeling some symptoms of adrenal fatigue. And I was exhausted. I was feeling a little bit depressed. My eating was off. And I started gaining weight. And that usually has to do with a little bit of adrenal fatigue. And I’ve gone through this before, and those are some of the first signs and symptoms.

So I decided to cut that off, and I really wish I had a trainer to train me individually. Here’s how you can get a bigger butt without your legs getting thicker. I’d love more muscular, shapely legs. Just not thicker. But I don’t know how to f*cking do that.

So anyway, I decided. I was like; I just don’t know what to do. I’m having all these tension headaches from sore traps and all these issues that I’ve accumulated over the years of competing in CrossFit. So I really need to take a step back and let my body heal. So I was trying to figure out what I was going to do next and I decided I was going to join Class Pass.

So for people who don’t know anything about Class Pass; I think I talked about it on a previous episode. It’s a membership you join, and you can workout at multiple gyms around the city, whatever gyms take Class Pass. There are tons of gyms. Our CrossFit gym allows Class Pass for our FIT classes; not our CrossFit classes. Because you have to have experience with CrossFit to be able to just walk into a CrossFit class. But you can go to our bootcamp style classes. You can go to Pilates. You can go to yoga. You can go to boxing. They have so many classes on there.

So I started doing yoga sculpt. I tried a C2 class out from core power. And a yoga sculpt class. I was completely obsessed with it right away. I think yoga sculpt is so fun. It definitely depends on your coach, too, on your instructor. Because their music kind of sucks, and just not inspiring, and you don’t get as good of a workout. But there’s this one girl, I think her name is Kiera. Not that it matters to you guys. But at this one location, I just remembered her name because she’s that good. And I love going to her class, I just can’t always get into it.

But, I’ve loved these yoga sculpt classes. They’re so hard, and you can really challenge yourself, with both weights and the cardio section. And I’ll go until I can’t lift anymore. My arms are completely giving out on me. And I started out doing the 4 and 5-pound weights and now I try to challenge myself to do 8 and 10-pound weights for a lot of movements. It’s just been so fun. I f*cking love it.

But, also on Class Pass, they had the gym Transform. Which is here in Denver. And it’s a megaformer Pilates class. So I think reformer Pilates is the one where it has a top part of it. So you can hang and do pullups on that and everything like this. Megaformer is this full crazy ass machine. And I love it. So it’s totally different than CrossFit. And for me, whenever I do CrossFit, I do a strength portion and I do a metcon. So you’re getting metabolic conditioning, you’re doing cardio, but it’s very short, fast sprints.

We’ll have one long workout once a while. And I think CrossFit is incredibly life changing in so many ways. Including how difficult the workouts are and how they change your body so quickly. So going to this Transform class to the Lagree megaformer Pilates style, everything is super slow. It’s not powerful like CrossFit is, like fast movements. Everything is very slow and controlled. And you are barely sweating. You’re barely sweating.

This last class I sweat a lot. But I feel like it’s mostly nervous, and it’s just out of my armpits, but I’m the sweatiest human being on earth already. My armpits are like an adolescent boy, not hair-wise. Hmm; sometimes. But sweat; it’s so sweaty. So I’m always sweating out of my armpits because I’m just nervous in general and have anxiety about it. I’m just doing something different.

So you don’t sweat, and everything is very slow and controlled. You’re going to the point where you can’t do it anymore. You literally, physically can’t hold a position anymore. You’re just burning out all the way. It’s so amazing. It’s just so different from CrossFit, in the regard of with CrossFit, it is a brutal sore. You feel like you got hit by a bus type of sore. And Pilates, or this megaformer Lagree style Pilates is, after you finish, your leg is just radiating this dead weight feeling. It’s almost tingly in a way. And that’s so different than CrossFit.

Because in CrossFit, my legs never get sore in that moment. During the workout or afterward. I might feel a little crampy, and I’m cramping up, but I never get this whole radiating soreness and tingly, and heavy weight feeling in my legs that I get at Lagree megaformer Pilates. I don’t know the actual term. Somebody is going to yell at me. I don’t know; there are like 47 words tied along with it.

But the thing is, you’re not doing any cardio. It’s very slow, controlled. You’re burning out. Obviously you have crazy blood flow going throughout and you’re building muscle. But you’re not getting any cardio. So for me, I’m just scared how I’m going to physically change from that, doing less CrossFit and doing more of that. But I also would love; everybody says your muscles lengthen. What the f*ck does that mean? Does anybody know what that means? Who have you seen lengthen? I personally have never lengthened. These have been my legs the entire time, and they don’t want to lengthen.

But everybody says you’re suppose to lengthen out. I don’t know what the f*ck that means. Nobody knows what that means. They made that up. But I’m interested to see what changes. And it makes me want to do it more; I’m just scared it’s not enough cardio.

But, what’s so cool about this studio; I’m like promoting the sh*t out of this studio. But I think it’s so cool. They have such a beautiful space in downtown Denver. Jackson, don’t you bark at that. Ooh, he’s growling at the 15-year-old who lives next door. I think this 15-year-old has really cleaned his act up since he was 13 and smoking weed in our front yard to hide from his dad. I think he’s really cleaned his sh*t up. He wears way less baggy pants.

Anyway. What’s so cool about this studio; it’s in downtown Denver, right next to an art museum that’s like a really cool; I don’t know what kind of style art, because I don’t know anything about art. But it’s a really cool art museum next door. And it’s in downtown Denver. The parking is terrible. But I’ve never had a hard time. I’ve only been three times, and it’s been great every time. But people talk about how sh*tty it is.

But, they have these huge beautiful open windows, so it’s super light and airy. Crazy tall ceilings. Beautiful space. And then they have an upstairs area, almost like a loft. Closed windows. And they put the shades down in this studio when a class goes on. So it’s super dark inside. But then they have these tiles on the ceiling. They’re these square tiles, and I think they might move. So it’s like you’re in a Vegas club. And all these square tiles that move; or maybe the lights move. I don’t know. I was too tired to notice what was happening. But it feels like you’re in a Vegas club. It’s so much fun. The lights are amazing. And the music is to die for. The music is the best.

And I go to a CrossFit gym and then I workout with dudes a lot. And no offense. I know many guys who have great taste in music, but not the ones that coach my CrossFit classes. And then they’re just putting on heavy metal, and to each their own for sure. But that doesn’t motivate me in the least. I need fast beats. I need to not hear myself breathe. And our CrossFit gym has had the same speakers for 7 years. And they’re the shittiest speakers ever. I just want to buy him new speakers and be like; dude, you can afford $150 speakers. Whatever.

But this has the best sound system in it. And the music; it was like mixes with Rhianna and Beyoncé. And the beats were so good. And it would slow down, and then speed up. And you’re speeding through this class. But I haven’t even told you what the class is.

So this upstairs class is a versaclimber. I believe that’s what it’s called. Google versaclimber if you’ve never heard of it before. I hadn’t before this. I had seen the machines at gyms, but never tried one myself. So, this versaclimber. My headphones are sticking to my spray tan. It’s disgusting. So this versaclimber is one of those climbers; imagine a Stairmaster, but imagine handles with it. So every time your foot goes up, your arm goes up. Vice versa. You’re switching. And you’re just climbing. You’re climbing with your arms and your legs. So it’s like a full body workout. And you’ll do sprints, and you’ll do long pulls. And you’ll do 1, 2, 3; 1, 2, 3, punch. And all these different things. And you go with the beat of the music. So sick. It was freaking awesome.

And it’s a 30-minute class. This class goes by like crazy fast, which is the best. And who cares, really about the calories. Especially in something that’s so broad whenever you look at the calories itself. But it said I burned 500 calories in 30 minutes, and it feels like because you’re soaking in sweat. It is awesome! And you have resistance on it, and they pull off the resistance. It’s so fun.

So I’m loving this studio. It’s such a beautiful studio. I can’t imagine how expensive the rent is. But they did such a good job. And the women at the studio who coach there, who do the megaformer classes. They all have the best butts, and the best abs. I’m like; girl! Ok, you guys are making me want to come to this studio all the time. Because I want to look like that. I don’t want to look like my CrossFit coach, who is huge. Because he’s a dude.

So, I’ve been loving those classes. I just took the climber class today, and it was so hard, and so out of my comfort zone. And it makes me feel so out of shape! And I feel like that’s the type of workouts you should be mixing in with whatever you’re doing. You should feel out of shape. Because as soon as you’re feeling in shape and feeling good, there’s always something you could be doing different that could put you down in your place and make you feel humbled as f*ck. And that definitely does it for me. I feel so humbled. I don’t know if that’s the best word for it. I think it is. Humbled. Yes.

Speaking of workouts; now I’ve been going to yoga classes recently. So I’ve been going to these yoga classes. And yoga stuff; like CrossFit, I just walk in. I don’t need anything. Yoga, you need some gear. So you need a yoga mat. And you need a towel. I like putting a towel down on top of my yoga mat, because not only does it catch my sweat. When you’re super sweaty, you’re sliding off of it. So you can get a big yoga towel and put it all the way down. It’s just the best, I love it.

So I got my yoga mat from Lole. And I’ve talked about Lole on my blog. But I got my yoga towel from Lole. But somebody recently asked about my favorite gym bag. And if you haven’t purchased a Lole bag; do it. They are the best. And yes, they’re a little bit more expensive. They’re not crazy, but they’re on the expensive side because they’re the most well-crafted, best bags. I love them so much. And they have kind of beach bag styles. They have totes. They have gym bags. They have backpacks. They have so many different amazing ones. And they’re all adorable and fun colors.

So I recently purchased the kanalua bag. I had to look it up. But I purchased it in grey, but they have black and red. I’ve been using that for my gym bag. And a lot of these bags have little spaces that you can put your yoga mat through to hold it. I just love these bags so much.

But if you’re looking for a good gym bag that has a ton of different compartments, and they have all kinds of different sizes. Go check out Lole. I’m obsessed with them. I love their clothes. I love their active wear. But their bags, I feel like everybody should own a Lole bag. They’re so freaking amazing. So to the person that asked what kind of gym bag I like, Lole is where it’s at. Just the best.

Since we’re kind of on the clothes section, I want to talk about my favorite dresses. I’ve been sporting a few on my Instagram lately. And this brand, it’s a little bit more on the expensive side, for sure. So I feel like it’s a special event dress. And they’re more dressy dresses, for sure. But this brand called Dress the Population.

I’ve just had events lately. I’ve been trying to post more dresses for people who are looking for wedding guest looks. So I’ve been purchasing more dresses than usual lately. And this brand called Dress the Population. They’re available at Nordstrom. I don’t know if they’re available at other places. But whenever I’m feeling not comfortable in my skin, or dresses aren’t fitting right, and I’m getting caught up in the shopping moment of; why does nothing fit me? Type of situation. I put on these dresses; the Dress the Population dresses, and I feel so beautiful. I feel like such a woman. It gives you curves. It hugs in all the right places. It shows off your boobs. It makes me feel like such a woman. Just proud to be a woman and comfortable in my skin. I love it.

So if you have any special events coming up, I highly recommend dress the population. Try their dresses out, and see what you think. Because they make me feel so good! And spray tans. I’ve been feeling down. I keep talking about that. I’ve just been off a little bit lately. Not comfortable in my own skin, and trying to work on that. It’s just been a little bit of a transition. Going through that slight adrenal fatigue, and body changes; whatever.

So, when I’m feeling down about myself, I go get myself a spray tan and feel instantly better. So I highly recommend a spray tan and dress the population dresses. So excited. Love those two things together.

Now let’s talk about a couple of things with food that I’m loving lately. I just recently got the new Eating Evolved coconut butter cups that are café mocha flavor, and I love them. I go through these stages of really wanting chocolate, and then not really caring about it. And now, I’m craving these café mocha ones. These coconut butter cups every night.

If you haven’t heard of Eating Evolved, go check out Eating Evolved. They’re such a cool company, and they have these coconut butter cups that are divine. Love them. I tried their keto cups; I’m not keto myself. But I tried their keto cups, and I was not a fan. I like my sugar to taste like sugar. And I like my fat to have my sugar, ok? That’s just me.

So, I’m in love with this flavor. If you like coffee and chocolate together; money. If you don’t, you’re dumb. Sorry, that was mean.

And one other thing that I love and have been using every single day is Thrive Market coconut wraps. I’m not a big wrap person. I’m not a big sandwich person. But these coconut wraps are so good. And people always ask me. They’re like; what’s the flavor? What’s the texture? Just buy a package, motherf*cker. Try it yourself. Because some people will be like; I don’t think it tastes like coconut at all. Like me. Because I like coconut. And some people think it tastes too coconut-y.

But they are these wraps that wrap really well. Make sure you don’t keep them in the fridge, because they’ll crack. Keep them in your pantry. They just wrap really well. They’re chewy. They’re just such a great little wrap. They’re like 70 calories a wrap, if you’re a person who counts that kind of stuff. They’re low-carb, which is all the rage. They’re just divine. Highly recommend. Thrive Market; it’s the Thrive Market brand. That’s my favorite. I haven’t tried other ones. But that’s my favorite coconut wrap.

Now. Let’s talk about some beauty stuff I’m loving right now. I’ve already talked about this before. I talked about it on my Instagram, and a million other places. I’ve just been obsessed. Living Proof. I love that brand. The dry volume blast; it is so amazing. It’s such an amazing product. Their dry shampoo is awesome. But I use the dry volume blast all the time because it smells good. It gives me extra volume, because I have pretty thin hair. And it’s freaking awesome. I just love that. It just smells so good. And I have greasy, nasty hair all the time. And the dry volume blast just makes it look a little bit more alive, and it smells so good. So it covers up my nasty ass smells that I’ve created through yoga sculpt and the stair class.

My poor hair stylist had to do my hair today after I did yoga sculpt one day and the stair class the next and didn’t wash my hair. And that’s like a big no-no. You just can’t do that. And this yoga place didn’t have a shower, either. So it was just all a hot mess.

Anyway. Back to products. This isn’t a product. I’ve started tinting my eyelashes. I get my eyebrows tinted and waxed every three weeks, just like I get my hair dyed every three weeks. Because not only does the hair on my actual head turn blonde, but my eyebrows are blonde, as well. They’re not as blonde as my actual hair, but they’re definitely blonde. And those blonde hairs start peeking out real fast. Especially when I’m in the sun.

So I started, every time I get my eyebrows waxed, I just get them tinted as well. And I’ve been loving that. And last time I was in, my lovely eyebrow lady asked if I wanted my lashes tinted. And I was like; sure, whatever. Let’s do it. And now, I feel like I don’t even have to put mascara on. Because they’re so dark, and they look so much longer because they’re dark. And I love it! If you have lighter lashes, even if you have blonde hair, just getting your lashes tinted a little bit darker makes all the difference.

The other day, my girlfriend asked if I had mascara on when I was at the gym, and it was Saturday morning and I never wear makeup to the gym then. And she was like; do you have mascara on right now? I was like, no. She was like; you b*tch! That looks so good! So if you have a lady you trust to do that; do it. It’s awesome. Love it. It’s my new favorite.

Ok. Also, Profractional. I’ve told you guys about Profractional a million times. So with Profractional, the results come in; they keep developing over 6 months. So it’s crazy, because if you look close at your skin after Profractional, it has a texture to it similar to sandpaper. And you have that for a while. But it diminishes more and more; and only you would notice it. Nobody else would notice it after a week. But even now, I forget when I did my last Profractional. I’m going to look on my blog. I forget when I did it. But my skin still has just a tiny, tiny sandpaper look to it. Not feel. Your face feels amazing. And; oh yeah, I did one back in January.

So after you get Profractional, the whole point is to rebuild new collagen. I hope you can hear Jackson rolling around in the back. But you rebuild new collagen. So it breaks down everything. You rebuild this new collagen to develop these new cells. And your face gets more plump. A lot of the fine lines diminish. And so, since January, all these results have continued to get better. The fine lines around my mouth have really improved. And it’s just looking so good.

So when I’ve posted; if you don’t know what I’m talking about with Profractional, just go to my blog. Go to www.PaleOMG.com. I have a post. And it’s really scary. When you do it, your face is very bloody and raw. Your face just looks like a huge scab. But it gets better day by day. Incredibly; your face gets better so quickly. It’s crazy.

But, the thing about the Profractional I’ve done; it’s super deep. Very deep Profractional. You have to hide out for at least two days, for sure, and even in your third day, you’re like; I can’t believe I’m going out in public like this. So she goes very deep on me. And my poor esthetician is like; you have everybody so scared. Anybody who goes to her is like; I’m scared to try the Profractional, because I talk about how much it hurts and how scary you look. So they’re so freaked out by it. Which I get. So she told me; you need to try the Profractional that doesn’t go as deep. And my girlfriend just did it the other day, and she has two tiny spots of blood. Like, it’s not deep at all.

So she’s like; you need to share that with people so they stop being so freaked out by Profractional. Because it’s so beneficial. If you have acne scars. If you have fine lines. Which, you do, because you’re aging. If you have wrinkles. If you have dark spots. Profractional helps with everything and makes your face so glowing and beautiful. I swear, my skin just continues to improve because of it.

So after I get back from these vacations, I’m going to get my skin looking better. I’m going to do a little tiny Profractional; a less invasive Profractional. I’m going to share that with you guys. But, if you haven’t done Profractional before, look into it. It is life changing. I think it is the best for your skin. It seriously changed my life. I’m like addicted to it, because I just want my skin to continue to improve and continue to lessen the acne scars that continue to sink in as I get older.

OK, I only have a few more likes. So, just the other day, I’ve shared about this on the podcast before. I have a full episode about it, if you look back at episode. But months ago, I did my first colonic. Which is pretty much like an enema, but in a professional place. And if you want to hear about the full experience, you can go listen to that podcast. Because it’s quite invasive, and humiliating.

But, I did one just the other day. Because I was like; you know what? Maybe it’s time to clean out. Even though I’ve felt good, might as well just clean things out. And it was fine. But I freaking love colonics. I think people should get them regularly. I really do. And I don’t even get them regularly. But I highly recommend them.

I know a couple of people who have gone, and whenever their stomach is feeling a little bit off, or their digestion is off, or they’re not feeling regular. A lot of times, that clears them up. And helps things get moving and grooving. Recommend. I do. We’ll move on from poop.

Ok, two last things. Well, three. Number one; so excited that the new season of New Girl started. But then I figured out that I didn’t watch the last season. So that sounds like I’m not even a true fan. But I didn’t. So anyway, I’m rewatching, now on Netflix, the old season. The last season of New Girl, so I can watch this last and final season coming up.

I wonder why it’s their final season? Is it ratings? Is it Zoe Deschanel is pregnant again? How many babies has she had? I don’t know. It’s interfering with my TV. Come on Zoe. Whatever, I’m very excited for this season. I just need to get through the last one. That’s very side note.

But, ok. I don’t know if you guys do this. But I hate searching for anything on Netflix. I hate it. It’s time consuming, and then you just watch the same thing you watched before. So I just don’t really look unless my husband is gone and I want to watch a murder documentary or something, because I’m weird. But I have now rewatched the Office at least; it’s had to have been 8 times. And I just finished it this past week again, and started it over again. Because I’m a person; if I don’t have a podcast to listen to, I just put on the Office. Because I don’t have to watch. I know what’s happening. I love it. And I can just listen and be happy. So I watched the Office, I finished it, I restarted it.

And then my girlfriend just asked if I wanted to go to a trivia night for the Office. I was like f*ck yes! I wonder if I would be good at it, because I’m so bad with anything trivia of anything worthwhile. You know; geography, history, anything that’s worth knowing, I know nothing about. But the Office; I know that sh*t. So I’m hoping I do well at this trivia night and really help out in my group. We will see.

Ok, last but not least. And don’t roll your eyes. Don’t. I hate when people are so judgey about reality TV. I’m so excited that the Jersey Shore is having their little reboot vacation. Loved Jersey Shore. It reminds me of college. God, I loved watching the Jersey Shore in college. It was the best. So much drama. So amazing. Such a mess. They started the reboot back up, and it’s just as good. They’re just as messy. But they just have all plastic surgery, so they’re looking fresh as f*ck.

Snooki’s lips look so painful, because her upper lip is so big and injected. It’s crazy. But good for her, because if you want bigger lips, f*cking do it. And J-wow looks phenom. But man, I love the reboot. And my poor husband; he thought the Bachelor was over, so he wouldn’t have to watch anymore sh*tty reality TV. And then we turned on Jersey Shore, and he threw the biggest fit. It’s like; I’ve sat through so much sports with him. I watch golf with him now. Golf. Excuse me, Golf. I watch that with him. And he’s like; you like golf. I’m like; who f*cking said I liked golf? Nope. No. No. I’ve never said that.

So, he threw a fit, and he’s like; I’m just going downstairs. Whatever. Jokes on him, because my sister-in-law and I love it.

But let’s talk about things I don’t like. Ok? Because there’s some stuff on there. What made me think of this was when Joy and Clare were talking about things that they’re just not into right now. And then, after they talked about all of it, because that’s so funny, Joy was like; I hate when people say the word fresh. And I think I just said their plastic surgery, they’re looking fresh. That’s hilarious.

But that makes me think of Joy. Because Joy called her listeners her tribe. She’s like, come on tribe. I don’t know; how do you say tribe? Because I hate the word tribe. Its like; what is the beehive for Beyoncé. When you start calling the people that follow you a certain thing. I just hate that. And tribe; people say tribe. Why don’t you say listeners?

Nothing against you, Joy. You’re perfect, and you’re beautiful, and I love you. But people say tribe all the time; it’s become the new squad. Before everybody was saying squad, and now it’s tribe. And I don’t like either, honestly. I like that hashtag squad goals when it relates to puppies. But nothing else.

And I don’t like the word tribe. I wish people would stop. I heard a fitness blogger say it the other day. She’s like; what’s up, tribe? I’m like, stop saying tribe! We’re not in a tribe. Whatever. You can say whatever you want to say. But we’re not.

I also cannot stand eyelashes on cars. When did that become a thing? I think it became a thing with the bug car. The Volkswagen beetle. Gross, man. Don’t put eyelashes on cars. And they’re all over the place. And they’re so not cute. And it’s not funny. It’s weird. It’s weird.

I also do not like FedEx. And maybe it’s just my FedEx that’s next to me. But they’re the worst. I have a FedEx near me, and I have a UPS near me. Every time I go into the UPS it’s smooth sailing. I drop something off. I walk out. They don’t say anything. I need something, they get it done. Super fast. And at this FedEx; it might just be my FedEx. I’m not trying to throw FedEx under the bus here, but we need some control over our branches.

{laughs} I mean, you can’t control everything. But this guy, the box that I received from FedEx was all beaten up. And had no stuffing in it. And I had to return items from that package. So I put those items back in that exact box. I taped up the box that was already a piece of sh*t to begin with. And he’s telling me I can’t ship that box because of everything that’s happened in Austin, and everything needs to be packaged up. It’s like; ok, but that didn’t happen coming here. So, why does it have to happen to go back. I just taped up the sh*tty box that your FedEx truck dropped off at my house that you beat up. So why do I have to pay for a new box? So I refused and I walked out. But they took my box.

But, yeah. I just dig UPS so much more. But it’s so funny because I talked about that on Instagram, and then a bunch of people were like; no. UPS is the worst! No matter what, somebody is going to think something else is the worst. But my FedEx near me is just the worst. The people are so not nice. So unhappy. And yeah, I’m not a fan of it. I just love UPS so much more. They’re so nice.

And, the UPS guy, every time he comes to my house, he brings my dog a little cookie. And even if we’re not home, he leaves it on top of the box. Because he loves my dog so much. It’s so f*cking cute.

Ok, something else I do not like. This is going to offend so many people. But I do not like socks showing with sneakers. I don’t like it. And believe me, I used to wear it. But, nope. Not anymore. I don’t like it. I wear no-show socks with everything. And I don’t like when you have this super cute pair of sneakers on, and then your sock is showing around your ankle. I just hate that look.

And I get it, no show socks are annoying. And they slide off. You’ve just got to find better no-show socks. I use stance no-show socks and love them. Adore them. They’re the best. Not everybody thinks that, but I do. And I will refuse to show my sock. I’d rather have my sock fold up into a little ball in my food than have my sock showing. How annoying am I? I’m the worst. But I hate socks.

I was getting a smoothie today, and this girl had super cute sneakers on and I looked at them, and then they were super ugly because number one she had mismatching socks on. And they’re showing through. I hated it.

Ok, two more things. Matcha. I’m not into matcha. I don’t like it. The other day, I was at Just Be Kitchen; my favorite little paleo restaurant in town. They’re amazing. They have so many cool things. And this guy, Jack, that I’m obsessed with. He makes coffee there. He’s the cutest boy in the whole wide world, and I want to shrink him, and put him in my pocket, and take him everywhere with me. He was like; Juli, we now have matcha! I was like, I hate matcha. Matcha is like eating the green tea out of the bag. It’s earthy; I hate it. It’s so gross.

And last but not least, because I have to pee at this point. I do not like my garage door. Number one reason why; because now when it closes, it opens back up. Not helpful. Because I’d like to keep my garage door closed. So that’s a pain in the ass. And I don’t like the look of it, either. I’ve wanted to change our garage door ever since we moved in. So now I have a reason to push my husband to get a new garage door. Because this one’s broken. So why not get a f*cking new one?! Why not? So I’m going to push that when we get home. But f*ck that garage door.

And you look up all the things on YouTube, and nothing helps. It’s just frustrating and upsetting. And my poor husband; everything, he thinks, just keeps breaking down. And this is a 1950s house. And he’s like; I just want a different house where things don’t break down all the time. I’m like; ok, so the house that are being built right now, in 2018, I have a friend moving into her brand new build. Something is going to go wrong right away too. New builds have issues just as much as old builds. It’s going to happen because of human error. That’s just life and things go wrong. So hopefully, maybe a new garage will spruce it up. Maybe he’ll like the house more. {laughs} Fingers crossed.

But ok. Here’s what I’ve got to do. I’ve got to pee. Number two; I have to finish my blog post for next week. I have to do some emails, because I’m not looking at my email for the next week. No thanks. Don’t care. And I’ve got to finish up packing. And I’ve got to go get Euros! Not today, because I have a spray tan that I’m going to sleep in tonight, and I’m going to be so f*cking tan tomorrow. But, tomorrow I have to go pick up Euros. So I’m just finishing up sh*t. That’s what I’ve got to do. Cool? Cool.

Thank you guys so much for listening today. I think it would be so fun to maybe start on these podcasts; I want to hear what you’re hating. I feel like I’m totally copying Joy and Clare right now. So I don’t want to do that. But hopefully you like the podcast. And hopefully I wasn’t too negative. And I didn’t offend you when you wear your socks with your shoes. Don’t do it. Get some no-show socks, ok?

Ok. I love you. You’re the best. Thanks for listening. Have a wonderful weekend. And go check out my Instagram, because I’m sure at this point I’ve posted a million photos of the Caribbean that is stunning. So have a lovely day. Bye-bye!

121 episodes available. A new episode about every 7 days averaging 62 mins duration .