Girl Talk x Four – Episode 44: PaleOMG Uncensored Podcast

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While in Austin, I recorded a podcast with Lexi from Lexi’s Clean Kitchen, Cassy from Fed & Fit and Vanessa from Clean Eating with a Dirty Mind and we talked about a lot of girl things, awkward dating stories and inappropriate bodily functions. It’s all quite fun. And also probably annoying.

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Episode 44 Transcription!

This is Juli Bauer from PaleOMG and you are listening to PaleOMG Uncensored.

Juli Bauer: Ok. We’ve been recording this entire time. So don’t worry I can cut it down. I won’t though. But, ok. Welcome to the 44th episode of PaleOMG Uncensored. I’m so glad to have you here today, whoever you are out there. But I’m mostly glad to have Cassy, Lexi, and Vanessa here today.

If you’ve listened to my podcast before, you know that I’ve had these ladies on here before. And if you’re sitting in this room, they’re all looking at their phones right now.

Everybody: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: These f*cking b*tches. {laughs} So anyways. I’ve had all these ladies on, because they’re my close girlfriends. I met them through the blogsphere. Through the internet. Interwebz, if you will. And they’re all f*cking awesome. And they’re all totally different. And I just love them. But they live in different states, so I never get to hang out with them. We only communicate through text.

So, today we’re here in Texas, in Austin, at the Siete Foods headquarters. They have a recording studio, which is probably why this will be the best podcast I’ll ever record. And yeah. So we’re here today. That’s what we’re doing. We’re hanging out in Austin. So before we get started; I don’t have any questions planned. So before we get started, will you guys introduce yourselves? Talk about who you are. Let’s keep it quick. We have a lot of females in here, so we’ll talk a lot. But a little synopsis about yourself. Just a life synopsis. Do you want to start, Vanessa?

Vanessa Barajas: I would love to, thanks so much Juli.

Juli Bauer: Yes, yes.

Vanessa Barajas: Hi guys! I am Vanessa. My name is Vanessa Barajas. I run the blog Clean Eating with a Dirty Mind. So if you haven’t seen it, go ahead and check it out. My kind of whole premise is I make sweet treats and desserts that don’t have the guilt. So it’s all paleo friendly, gluten free, grain free. But it still actually tastes like the real thing. So it’s a little bit about me.

I’m also very excited that podcasts aren’t videos, because I feel like if you could see how awesome we look this morning, you’d be kind of happy, too. We’ve definitely got the face for radio right now.

Everybody: {laughing}

Vanessa Barajas: So yeah. But I think that’s it.

Juli Bauer: Do you want to tell anybody about something special that happened in your life?

Vanessa Barajas: Oh. Could you be talking about the fact that I just got engaged?!

Juli Bauer: Oh sh*t.

Vanessa Barajas: And I have this crazy amazing engagement ring and I’m so excited?!

Juli Bauer: Yes. Yes. Congratulations.

Vanessa Barajas: Thank you very much. Yes. My boyfriend and I of 7 years just got engaged last week. So we’ve been joking around that this whole trip to Austin is just to celebrate that, because Siete Foods, 7. Siete means 7 in Spanish.

Juli Bauer: {laughs} Thanks for clarifying.

Vanessa Barajas: And my boyfriend and I, we’ve been together for 7 years. So this whole trip is just to celebrate that. Hmm-hmm.

Lexi Kornblum: Love it.

Juli Bauer: Congratulations.

Vanessa Barajas: Thank you so much!

Juli Bauer: Too bad people can’t see your ring right now. Because it’s blinding.

Vanessa Barajas: You guys. I’m obsessed with it. So they keep getting mad at me, because I’m like, “You guys, look at my ring in this light! It looks so shiny and sparkly in this light. Wait, let’s take a boomerang. Wait, let’s take a picture.” So I’m definitely obnoxious right now, for sure.

Juli Bauer: Just post a manicure photo, because it’s just a reason to show your ring right now. You were on your phone 2 seconds ago.

Vanessa Barajas: But is my manicure still fresh? Is it fresh enough to post?

Everybody: {laughing}

Vanessa Barajas: OK, if my hands look ugly you guys, I kind of don’t love my hands. And my manicure is probably not top notch. So no judging, #nojudging.

Juli Bauer: #Nojudgement.

Vanessa Barajas: Ok.

Juli Bauer: So Vanessa and I went on book tour when we both came out with our last cookbooks. And we just get along so well. And we talked about even doing a podcast together. But Vanessa has like 47 jobs. So there’s no way that should could have actually made a podcast happen every week.

Vanessa Barajas: That’s 1000% true story.

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Vanessa Barajas: And I keep telling Juli and Cassy, since they are doing such cool fashion photos and stuff, that I want them to hire me to be their personal fashion photographers. So that would be job number, like 5.

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Vanessa Barajas: But I mean, that’s fine. Because I’m under 10 jobs at this point. So it shouldn’t be a problem at all.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. Don’t complain.

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah. I mean, why don’t you get off your lazy ass and do something with your life?

Everybody: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: So that’s a little bit about Vanessa. 5-job Vanessa.

Everybody: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Lexi. Would you like to tell us a story about yourself?

Lexi Kornblum: Yes. Hey everyone. So excited to be here. I’m Lexi, from Lexi’s Clean Kitchen. And I started Lexi’s Clean Kitchen four years ago. I blog clean eating, healthy, real food recipes. They’re gluten free. They’re grain free, mostly. They’re dairy free. And they’re all delicious. I do meal plans, and I have a cookbook now. So all that kind of good stuff. So check it out. That’s me.

Juli Bauer: So you have a dog that you’re obsessed with.

Lexi Kornblum: I do. He’s a humongous golden retriever, and he’s such a little moosh.

Juli Bauer: He is the cutest golden retriever. Literally ever.

Lexi Kornblum: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Why are some golden retrievers not as cute as that?

Lexi Kornblum: I don’t know. I’ve seen golden retrievers that can hold like 4 tennis balls in their mouth, and he can only fit one. So he has like a really small snout.

Juli Bauer: What a pussy. {laughing}

Lexi Kornblum: I know. Mike is always like, he really is the biggest pus.

Juli Bauer: Ok so he has the smallest mouth.

Lexi Kornblum: So he has a really small snout, so he looks like a puppy.

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Lexi Kornblum: Even though he’s now 3.

Juli Bauer: Yes, he totally looks like a puppy.

Lexi Kornblum: He’s my angel.

Juli Bauer: Do you like your dog, or your husband more.

Vanessa Barajas: {laughing}

Lexi Kornblum: Oh my god. Mike asks me that all the time. I’m like, don’t make me choose.

Everybody: {laughing}

Lexi Kornblum: That’s an impossible thing to decide.

Juli Bauer: OK. So I had the owner of my gym on a podcast once, and he asked a question. If the house was burning and I could only take my husband or Jackson out of the house.

Vanessa Barajas: Oh my gosh! Who would ask that kind of question!

Lexi Kornblum: Well what’d you say?

Juli Bauer: Oh I picked Jackson, for sure.

Everybody: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: I was like, I couldn’t carry my husband.

Everybody: Yeah.

Vanessa Barajas: He can get himself out.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, don’t be a child. You can get yourself out. But I picked Jackson for sure. And then Brian listened to the podcast. I think it’s the only one he listened to.

Vanessa Barajas: {laughing}

Lexi Kornblum: I know. The last time I was on your podcast, we talked about things that annoy you about your husband. Because that was just when I got married. And that was the only podcast I’ve ever been on that Mike’s listened to. He’s like, Thank you.

Juli Bauer: {laughing}

Lexi Kornblum: You’re talking about my pubic hair and facial hair all over the place.

Everybody: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: The worst.

Lexi Kornblum: I was like, you’re welcome.

Juli Bauer: All their hair all over. And they think they’ve cleaned it up. And you’re like, no. Your hair is everywhere.

Lexi Kornblum: Yeah. He’s like, I cleaned it! I’m like, what do you mean? I just walked up against the sink, now I have hair on me.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. I have hairy nipples.

Everybody: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: Because Lexi is 4’11”; right?

Lexi Kornblum: 4’10”, but you can go with 4’11”.

Juli Bauer: Ok. No, we’ll give you the 4’10”. So we’re staying at this AirBNB right now. And the sink.

Lexi Kornblum: You guys, it’s the highest sink ever. I have to go on my tippy toes.

Juli Bauer: The sink touches her collar bone.

Everybody: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: So, if those sinks are like that at home, then she has hairy nipples after Mike leaves the hair all over the sink.

Lexi Kornblum: Our sinks are like a normal height at home. But I still get hair on me. It’s like, oh my god.

Everybody: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: Oh. She’s like the most petite human being I’ve ever seen so cute. Ok. Cassy, synopsis.

Cassy Joy: Hey. My name is Cassy.

Everybody: {laughing}

Cassy Joy: I’m so nervous.

Juli Bauer: I know, I’m sweating.

Cassy Joy: I am. Probably the sweatshirt I’m wearing.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. We’re in Austin.

Vanessa Barajas: It’s 1000 degrees outside, and Cassy is in a sweatshirt.

Cassy Joy: It’s just so soft. My name is Cassy Joy Garcia, and I blog over at Fed and Fit. I started blogging, I don’t know, 6 years ago? Yeah. It’s a healthy food blog. Paleo friendly mostly. And I’m a nutrition consultant. And I run a food and fitness program every month. I have a book out called Fed and Fit. I’m really good at describing what I do. {laughs}

Juli Bauer: You’re doing great. It’s awkward, and everybody stares at you. We all know your story, and staring at you.

Cassy Joy: I know. Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Ok. So, what’s the biggest thing you’re working on right now?

Cassy Joy: Well probably the biggest thing I’m working on right now is a food product that’s going to come out. Hopefully be available to be eaten in early 2018.

Juli Bauer: {laughs} Available to be eaten.

Cassy Joy: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: Good description.

Cassy Joy: Right? Because it’s going to be; it’s going to exist in the world, but you can’t really eat it until next year.

Juli Bauer: Ok. I can’t wait to eat it.

Cassy Joy: {laughing}

Lexi Kornblum: I’m so excited.

Juli Bauer: So that’s your biggest work on right now.

Cassy Joy: Mm-hmm. That is. Yep. It will be fun.

Juli Bauer: Ok sweet. So here’s the thing, ladies. So, on my podcast every week while I talk by myself for an hour, and yawn through the entire podcast because I don’t get any sort of oxygen, I talk about the Bachelor every week. And there are about 95% of the people skip over that part for sure, but I don’t give a f*ck. So I’m going to tell you guys what happened on the Bachelor, real quick.

Cassy Joy: Tell me!

Juli Bauer: Just a quick. Only one part. Because it leads into a question.

Vanessa Barajas: Let them know that none of us watch it.

Juli Bauer: Ok, yeah. Nobody in this room watches the Bachelor or Bachelorette. I don’t f*cking know why, because it is the best drama. And Vanessa is over here talking about meditation, and I’m like, get out of here. I just want to talk about Dean’s dad on the Bachelorette.

So they don’t watch the Bachelorette. This season has been quite dramatic, guys. So Rachel is the Bachelorette. And all of the guys that were chosen for her are the worst. And ABC just wants to ruin her life. But they had, you go home and meet the parents. Have you guys ever watched the show?

Lexi Kornblum: I know that they do that.

Vanessa Barajas: I just know the thing about the rose. If you want to keep someone or something, you give them a rose.

Juli Bauer: {laughs}

Vanessa Barajas: Is that still a thing? Do they still do that?

Juli Bauer: Yes. {laughs}

Everybody: {laughing}

Vanessa Barajas: Literally, all I know about the show.

Juli Bauer: That’s all you know. And Vanessa watches all the good shows. Like Game of Thrones.

Vanessa Barajas: Oh yeah, I watch real TV. Thank you.

Juli Bauer: She talks about GOT all the time. We had a good conversation. Did you see something?

Vanessa Barajas: I just thought that was a spider.

Juli Bauer: {laughs} It’s not.

Vanessa Barajas: It’s like paint on the window sill.

Juli Bauer: Ok, we’re fine. We’re fine. It’s ok. So they go home and they meet the parents. And she goes home with like 4 dudes, and meets all their parents. So, she met four of the parents, and one dad. It’s really sad. This guy Dean, who is like 25 and shouldn’t be getting married. He lost his mom when he was 15, of cancer. And then his dad just became the worst dad ever, and wasn’t there for him. And then the family kind of fell apart. And then his dad became this {laughing} I shouldn’t be laughing. Everybody’s spiritual journey is different. But his dad became this yogi, but like a certain kind of yogi. And he makes up a name for himself. And it sounds like an avatar name. Do you guys watch Avatar?

Vanessa Barajas: I’ve seen it.

Juli Bauer: Ok, thank god. Literally, that’s my favorite movie, so I would not be able to friends with you anymore.

Vanessa Barajas: Is that really your favorite movie?

Juli Bauer: Yeah, stop judging me.

Everybody: {laughing}

Vanessa Barajas: So hard. So hard.

Cassy Joy: The blue people?

Everybody: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: Yes. The blue people. So it’s like, Nan-Tuck-Tuck.

Cassy Joy: Are you serious?

Juli Bauer: That’s pretty much the name he gave himself. But it means eternally beautiful. He called himself eternally beautiful. And his dad his this long white beard. And they’re living in Aspen. I’m like, where the f*ck is this in Aspen? Because he’s like, nobody lives in Aspen. And he’s wearing an all purple getup.

Lexi Kornblum: Like a jumpsuit?

Juli Bauer: No. Like, yoga clothing. Meditation clothing. You probably wear this stuff. {laughs}

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah, it’s identical to what I wear when I meditate. For sure.

Everybody: {laughs}

Vanessa Barajas: Because you can’t reach those levels without that kind of outfit on. So.

Juli Bauer: So, they walk in. And this guy has this all purple outfit. He has purple crocs on. And then a purple, like…

Vanessa Barajas: Turban?

Juli Bauer: Yes.

Vanessa Barajas: I was going to call it a turbine.

Juli Bauer: I don’t know what it’s called, and someone is going to get mad at me and say that I’m racist or something. But this purple head thing. It’s purple head to toe. White beard. Very strange. And he makes everybody lie on the floor. They don’t have chairs or anything in the room. I’m sure the producers kind of manipulated that.

Vanessa Barajas: Like in the house?

Juli Bauer: Yeah. So they have to all lie down on pillows on the floor. And then he’s like, “I’m going to play the gong.” And they all have to close their eyes. And he’s like “Listen to the gong.” And then he plays the gong. And they’re just lying there.

Vanessa Barajas: Was the bachelorette like, dude I’m out of here. I can’t.

Juli Bauer: She’s like, no. She’s trying to be nice. Open to other cultures. And she’s just; here’s the thing. She’s probably like, ok this guy is going to be the next bachelor, because I’m not going to pick him and everybody is going to feel sorry for him. But. Ok so anyway, he’s the worst. The dad’s the worst. And this guy Dean is pretty much crying, because he’s like, you weren’t there for me when I lost my mom.

Everybody: Aww.

Juli Bauer: It’s just major need of big time therapy. And then of course, you know what, Vanessa?

Vanessa Barajas: Hmm?

Juli Bauer: She doesn’t give him the rose.

Everybody: {gasp}

Juli Bauer: So he doesn’t get to move on. So she makes him go through this. I know, thanks for the dramatic effect ladies.

Everybody: {laughing}

Cassy Joy: I’m invested now!

Juli Bauer: I know. You get so invested. It’s so good. So, she doesn’t give him the rose. He leaves. He’s totally sad.

Lexi Kornblum: Well he’s probably bummed. Like, because of my dad I didn’t move on.

Juli Bauer: Yes. Because he walked up to the house. And he’s like, this is not a representation of my childhood. I don’t want you to judge me off of this. He’s so embarrassed.

Everybody: Aww.

Juli Bauer: I feel so bad the producers made him do this and he couldn’t just introduce his friends. It was so sad. So here’s my question. Leeway. Have you guys ever dated anybody that you had to date a pretty weird ass family. Or just met parents that you were like, I don’t want to be a part of that family.

Lexi Kornblum: Yeah. I’ve had an experience like that.

Juli Bauer: Let’s hear it, Lexi.

Lexi Kornblum: Well I don’t know how much I can go into.

Juli Bauer: You can.

Lexi Kornblum: Ok.

Juli Bauer: Nobody listens to this podcast. {laughs}

Everybody: {laughs}

Cassy Joy: That’s exactly what I was thinking. I’m like; what are the chances these people listen.

Juli Bauer: If there are any chances, I’ve talked sh*t about every single person I know on this podcast. So it’s fine.

Everybody: {laughing}

Lexi Kornblum: I dated a guy. So, background is my parents got divorced, and it was really messy.

Juli Bauer: How old were you when they got divorced?

Lexi Kornblum: Young. It took my whole childhood. It was like, really rough. So it took like 10 years for the whole thing to be done. But I was young. Or youngish. So I met this guy, and I really liked him. I was young. I was like, oh my god. He’s so great. And I was like, oh my god mom, you won’t believe it. His parents eat dinner together every night. They’re such a normal family. “Normal”, because who’s normal? Whatever.

My mom is like, don’t. You never know, you know. So we’re dating, dating a while. And then all of a sudden the mom is like doing drugs. It got real weird real quick.

Juli Bauer: Doing drugs?

Lexi Kornblum: Doing hard drugs. I’m like, leaving stuff in the kids’ cars. And it just got weird.

Juli Bauer: Uggh!

Lexi Kornblum: That was not a good situation.

Juli Bauer: So you didn’t have a gong situation.

Lexi Kornblum: I didn’t have a gong situation.

Juli Bauer: Drugs. That’s a bummer.

Lexi Kornblum: It is a bummer.

Juli Bauer: Who else?

Vanessa Barajas: I’m trying to think.

Juli Bauer: Because you’ve been with Brad for like 47 years.

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah. Since forever.

Lexi Kornblum: {whispering}

Juli Bauer: {laughs} Lexi. Lexi’s like; I shouldn’t have even said it. Literally nobody listens to this podcast. Believe me. They listen to one episode, and they’re like, I’m out of here.

Cassy Joy: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: Lexi is such a sweet soul.

Lexi Kornblum: Oh my god, I’m having an internal panic attack.

Vanessa Barajas: {laughing}

Cassy Joy: Have some green juice.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, do you want green juice? Do you want to sit next to the essential oils on this side?

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah. It’s like aromatherapy.

Juli Bauer: It’s peppermint. Just inhale it. {laughing} I had one who the mom was; ok. Wait. Here’s another part of the show. So the other guy that she is obviously in super in love with. It’s so obvious. She can’t stop making out with him, and they make out like this {slurping}. It’s like the grossest sound of all time. I’m like, just calm your tits. How do you make out like that? So she meets his parents in Miami, and his mom has this thick accent. It sounds like she’s from Russia. It sounds like that. And she sees her son and she just starts crying! And then she’s like, “You cannot take my son from me! You cannot take him!” And she’s like cray-cray. She’s obviously in love with her son.

Cassy Joy: Oh no!

Juli Bauer: So I was talking to my mother-in-law. And not just loves her son; like she wants to date her son. For sure.

Lexi Kornblum: Yeah.

Vanessa Barajas: Eww!

Juli Bauer: Yeah, it’s really weird. And I talked to my mother-in-law. And she’s like, “But I feel that way too.” I was like, ok. You want to date your son? Because she obviously wants to date her son. Have you had any moms like that? Where they’re overprotective. {laughing} We have to be safe on this podcast.

Cassy Joy: Definitely can’t talk about some {laughing}.

Juli Bauer: F*ck, I know.

Cassy Joy: Just kidding.

Juli Bauer: Luckily, my mother-in-law just sends me makeup in the mail and calls to tell me that she loves me.

Vanessa Barajas: That’s so sweet.

Cassy Joy: She sounds so awesome.

Juli Bauer: I don’t know if she cried on our; she definitely didn’t cry when she met me for the first time {laughs} saying I was going to steal her son away from her. Or on our wedding day.

Lexi Kornblum: No, but there are people that are like that. That are just; even if they don’t want to date their son. They’re just very protective. Like their mom is babying.

Cassy Joy: Totally. On the flip end of that spectrum. I was wracking my brain on boyfriends. I lived under such a rock. {laughs} You guys, I was such a goodie-goodie in high school.

Juli Bauer: You still are. Let’s be real.

Everybody: {laughing}

Cassy Joy: Well I went to college, I remember I came home to my mom and dad. And meeting wonderful people. Right? Lovely people. Other students in college. And they’re good people. It’s a really good school. They have great families. And they tell me these wild stories. They were going to parties, and they would do all this stuff. And I came home and I told my mom and dad. I was like, you guys had it really easy! I never even tried any of this stuff. They were like, well we knew that but we weren’t going to tell you! {laughs}

Lexi Kornblum: {laughs}

Cassy Joy: Anyway. There was this one guy I dated in high school. He probably doesn’t even remember, so even if he does listen, I think we’re good.

Everybody: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: He doesn’t listen to my podcast. There’s no men. I think there’s one dude out there. My dad. {laughs} I don’t think he listens either.

Cassy Joy: That’d be sweet. He; gosh, how old were we? We were like, maybe sophomores in high school. And I just remember we went on maybe two dates. But it was a weird thing for me, because my mom and dad were so protective. And my mom was such a bulldog when anybody came over to our house. In terms of policing. And it’s not like I wouldn’t be allowed to just sit down and talk with people. She just gave them a hard time. She’s like, “You mess her up, you’ve got to deal with me!” Kind of thing.

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Cassy Joy: So that’s kind of what I was used to. And I went over to this guy’s house, and his mom and dad, on the opposite end of overprotective, I want to marry my son. Were like, “Do you guys want us to leave the room?”

Juli Bauer: Eww.

Lexi Kornblum: Oh my god.

Cassy Joy: Kind of stuff.

Lexi Kornblum: So awkward.

Cassy Joy: How old is sophomore? 15?

Vanessa Barajas: 15 yeah.

Lexi Kornblum: Yeah.

Cassy Joy: He was like, what? No! Please don’t leave the room!

Everybody: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: I was like, f*ck yes, I want you to leave the room. That’s the difference between me and Cassy.

Cassy Joy: {laughing} So that was really interesting to me. It was kind of like, his mom and dad were so just…

Juli Bauer: Different than yours.

Cassy Joy: Just so different. And it’s not that they weren’t good people. It was just, I had never experienced that before.

Lexi Kornblum: One time, a guy was picking me up to go on a date. And my brother, who was like, really jacked up at that point decided he was going to come out and scare the sh*t out of the guy. He comes out with no shirt on, just…

Juli Bauer: {laughs} No shirt on?!

Lexi Kornblum: And the kid liked stalled out in the driveway. He was like, sh*tting his pants, he was so nervous. And my brother was like, “Don’t f*ck with her. Make she’s home” I was like, ugh. Go! Let’s get out of here.

Juli Bauer: Do you have any creepy parent stories?

Vanessa Barajas: No! I feel like, I mean. I’ve dated jerk face guys, for sure. But their parents seem to be normal for the most part. I guess, one of my ex-boyfriends. His mom was a little out there.

Juli Bauer: That’s fine. Everybody’s a little out there.

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: I think all our parents are a little out there.

Vanessa Barajas: I don’t really have any stories where anything crazy happened.

Juli Bauer: What’s your least favorite dating moment?

Vanessa Barajas: My least favorite dating moment.

Juli Bauer: Did you have even one date that you’re like; that is never going to happen again.

Vanessa Barajas: Oh, I kind of have a good story.

Cassy Joy: Tell me everything!

Everybody: {laughs}

Vanessa Barajas: Ok. So this is the days of MySpace. You guys remember MySpace?

Everybody: Mm-hmm. Yes. And you’d have music? {laughs}

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah!

Juli Bauer: The best.

Vanessa Barajas: Where you’d click on your profile, and then a song plays. And you’re like; who’s going to be in my top 8? I don’t want Tom in my top 8. Get off of my top 8, Tom. Because I want my real friends.

Juli Bauer: I wonder what Tom is up to nowadays.

Vanessa Barajas: Dude, he’s like a bajillionaire, still, and he’s cruising the. I saw, he’s got an Instagram account, and it’s really funny because it’s got his MySpace Tom picture as his profile picture. And it’s like, “I’m Tom. I invented MySpace.” Or whatever. And then he’s like, cruising with some hottie patottie model in the Mediterranean or something.

Juli Bauer: I want to look him up.

Vanessa Barajas: You should totally, because it’s really funny.

Juli Bauer: Let’s request him as a friend.

Vanessa Barajas: Ok! So I met this guy; or this guy ended up contacting me on MySpace. Because you’d put all your interests and stuff on your page, and we liked the same band. So he DMd me. And he’s like, “Hey, what’s up. I see that you like this same band.” And I’m like, “Oh my god!” This was in my 20s, so I just judged everybody by their musical tastes. So I was like, oh my gosh your so cool! And he owned a skateboard shop. Watch he listens to his podcast too. Now I feel like Lexi where I’m like, oh my god. If he’s listening to this, he totally knows who I’m talking about.

Juli Bauer: Nobody. Ok, you guys have to get this in your head.

Cassy Joy: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: There are like 10 females out there that listen to this, and that’s it.

Vanessa Barajas: Ok.

Juli Bauer: You guys don’t listen to it, and you’re my closest friends.

Everybody: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: So there’s your sign.

Vanessa Barajas: Ok. So he owned a skateboard shop. And he was 12 years older than me. So I was like, “oh my god, it’s totally an older guy. I’m so cool. And he owns a skate shop.” And he lived about 2 hours away from where I lived. So we ended up just talking over MySpace and kind of getting to know each other. And then we decided to actually meet in person and go on a date. So I was crazy nervous. So we go on this date. We end up having a really good time. So him and I actually start seeing each other. I think the whole thing lasted maybe 6 months. But we would only see each other maybe every other week, because one of us would have to drive two hours to see the other person.

So I went up there; it was during Christmas, I remember. And I went up there to visit him. And he was at work, because he had to go work at the skate shop, because he was cool guy. And he was in a band too.

Juli Bauer: Oh sh*t.

Vanessa Barajas: So I’m just like, oh, we’re so MTB.

Everybody: {laughing}

Vanessa Barajas: I just love him. So while he’s at work, he’s like, go ahead and just hang out. He had roommates and stuff, but his roommates were super cool. He’s like, you can hang out with them, or you can just stay in the room and watch TV, or go on the computer, or whatever you want to do. So I’m like, Ok. So I’m going on the computer.

Lexi Kornblum: Oh god.

Vanessa Barajas: Checking my MySpace. So I was like, oh I remember him. And I took a picture the other day, I want to put that on my MySpace page. And so I go on the computer, and I just click on the photos, to try and find the picture of us. Because I had seen him upload it the night before. And let’s be honest. I was snooping a little bit, ok.

Everybody: {laughing}

Vanessa Barajas: I’m not going to lie. I’m going to be honest. I was like, “What am I getting myself into.”

Juli Bauer: How old are you?

Vanessa Barajas: I was probably 25. Probably about 24, 25.

Juli Bauer: OK.

Vanessa Barajas: So I click on his pictures, and I see all these folders with girls’ names on them.

Juli Bauer: Ok.

Cassy Joy: No.

Vanessa Barajas: So I click into each folder, and it’s like pictures of him having sex with all these other girls. Like, by folder names. And I was like, oh my god.

Juli Bauer: What?!

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah. So I was like, ok. Calm down. Calm down. So I clicked and Xd out.

Juli Bauer: It’s not that bad!

Everybody: {laughing}

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah. I was like, maybe we can still recover from this. Even though I’m planning my escape plan. So I click on the last folder, it was his ex-girlfriend. And I knew her name, because he had said, oh, she clicked on your MySpace profile to check you out. So I clicked on hers, of course.

Everybody: {laughing}

Vanessa Barajas: So I clicked on hers, and there were pictures of them having sex. And it was dated during the time that him and I had been seeing each other.

Cassy Joy: What a jerk.

Vanessa Barajas: And he told me that they had completely called things off. So, I was like. Ok dude, I’m out. This is creepy enough, but the fact that you’ve been having sex with her while we’ve been seeing each other. Luckily, him and I never slept together. We just made out and got kind of hot and heavy. But never took it to that level.

Juli Bauer: {laughing}

Vanessa Barajas: So I was just like, dude. I’m 1000% out. I packed up my little overnight bag.

Lexi Kornblum: What did you say to him?

Vanessa Barajas: He was at work.

Lexi Kornblum: Right.

Vanessa Barajas: So I didn’t say anything. I just grabbed my stuff and I bounced and I drove home. And I had his keys, because he’s like, “if you need to leave the house for anything, I’ll just leave my housekeys with you so you can get back in.” So all of a sudden I start getting, it’s like 6 o’clock at night. I start getting all these text messages. “Where are you? I can’t get in the house. I don’t have my keys.” And I left his keys just in his room, and I was just like, peace. I’m out.

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Vanessa Barajas: I can’t even. And I think I was even dramatic, because I was in my 20s. So I wrote out a song lyric from the band.

Everybody: {laughing}

Vanessa Barajas: That we first started talking over, and just left it on the bed.

Lexi Kornblum: Wait, that’s incredible.

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah. And then I just bounced. And finally, I want to say it was like 2 days later, I finally answered the phone when he called. And I was like, look. Sorry to ghost. I think I ghosted before ghosting was even a thing.

Juli Bauer: Yes.

Vanessa Barajas: I was like, dude. Sorry to ghost, but I explained the story. I was like, I wanted to post a picture of you and I that we took the other day. I wanted to put it on my MySpace. And I ended up going into your pictures folders, and this is what I found. And I’m just not really comfortable with that.

Juli Bauer: {laughing} Yeah.

Vanessa Barajas: I understand if that’s your thing. To each their own, do you.

Juli Bauer: That’s way too nice.

Vanessa Barajas: But I’m just kind of not cool with that.

Everybody: {laughing}

Lexi Kornblum: This guy deserved it.

Vanessa Barajas: Besides the fact that this whole thing; even if it was just, you had this folder and it was dated a year ago or something, and I was like there are pictures of you and your ex and they’re dated during the time you and I have been seeing each other. And you specifically told me that we’re exclusive and you’re not seeing anybody else. It’s really weird for me. And he’s like, no. He totally tried to excuse generator it. He was like, no, the date on my camera is wrong. And I’m like, is it? By like, a month? Come on.

Lexi Kornblum: And why are you doing that.

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah.

Lexi Kornblum: And do the girls know about it?

Cassy Joy: Yeah, do the girls know about the photos?

Vanessa Barajas: Yes, they did, because you could tell that it was they were incorporating it into the routine kind of thing.

Juli Bauer: {laughing}

Vanessa Barajas: And it was funny too because one time we were making out, he asked if he could take pictures.

Lexi Kornblum: Well.

Juli Bauer: Who are you dating?

Vanessa Barajas: Yes! Right! I was like, I’m just not really comfortable with that. And then he kind of gave me attitude about it. And then that was kind of red flag number one. And I was like, ok. We’re just going to file that in the red flag folder.

Juli Bauer: {laughing}

Vanessa Barajas: And we’ll come back to that if we need to.

Juli Bauer: Just like we flag our photos. Flag that memory.

Vanessa Barajas: Exactly. Exactly. And then after that, I was like, oh. That clicks. Now it makes sense. He was going to try to add a Vanessa folder. And I was like, you know what, no. I am shutting you down.

Lexi Kornblum: No Vanessa folder.

Juli Bauer: I feel no one is going to have a story that tops that. Mine is like, super quick.

Cassy Joy: Say it.

Juli Bauer: Ok. But it’s not that cool, after that. I was hanging out with this one guy. And we had gone out on two dates. And they were coffee dates. Because I did match.com for a little bit. And they were like two coffee dates. And I was like, ok. He’s nice, whatever. And then we go to dinner, like a nice dinner. And we had had deeper conversations at that point. I was like, so what is your biggest insecurity? And he was like, well. Probably my penis size.

Vanessa Barajas: No! No!

Cassy Joy: Big or little? {laughs}

Lexi Kornblum: You hadn’t had sex yet?

Juli Bauer: No. No.

Lexi Kornblum: No, just coffee.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, just coffee. Nothing had happened. So he goes, my penis size. And I’m like, well this is awkward.

Everybody: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: So I was like, yeah. Because it’s just so big. Like joking. And he was like, I wish that were the case.

Everybody: {gasp}

Juli Bauer: I was like, ok dude. You made this so uncomfortable. That’s something that you just find out on your own.

Everybody: Yeah.

Vanessa Barajas: And then never call again.

Everybody: {laughing}

Lexi Kornblum: Pick a different insecurity.

Vanessa Barajas: Terrible!

Cassy Joy: Pick a different answer.

Juli Bauer: Terrible. And so we could never bounce back from that. I never went out.

Everybody: How do you!

Juli Bauer: I know. I was like, I can’t think about anything else at this point. If you’re pointing it out.

Vanessa Barajas: This early too. That means it must be really bad. Like, I need to preface this before we even move any further.

Lexi Kornblum: That means it’s so small, it’s affected past relationships.

Vanessa Barajas: Exactly.

Juli Bauer: And that’s totally fine. You just, talk about it when you’re about to do something.

Everybody: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Not just at a nice dinner. We were at a nice dinner at a great downtown restaurant over a glass of wine. And not even 5 glasses of wine. It was like, one glass of wine. I’m like, dude. So then I never talked to him again. Probably ghosted him. I don’t really remember. And then I’ve seen him a couple of times, because he started CrossFit after that, and he was at a couple. And then he was dating someone I knew.

Vanessa Barajas: Did you ask her?

Juli Bauer: Yes! She was a traveling nurse. That would be funny if she listened to this. But she was awesome. She was super funny, and she worked out at our gym for like 3 months while she was traveling. And she was like, “Hey! I know,” his name.

Vanessa Barajas: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: She was like, I know blah-blah-blah. I was like, oh my god. And we were at the Christmas party at our gym. And everybody gets totally; and she was a huge mess. She was a blast. So I asked her, and she’s like. Yeah, it’s pretty bad. {laughing} I was like.

Vanessa Barajas: Ohh.

Juli Bauer: So sad.

Vanessa Barajas: But she didn’t care?

Juli Bauer: No. Traveling nurse. She was doing that thing.

Vanessa Barajas: She was like, whatever. She was like, YOLO.

Juli Bauer: Doing the damn thing. Yeah. YOLO.

Vanessa Barajas: They probably have toys and stuff.

Juli Bauer: {laughing}

Vanessa Barajas: I mean, right? If you really like someone, there’s a way you can make it work.

Juli Bauer: This podcast.

Lexi Kornblum: I think they say it’s how you use it, you know.

Juli Bauer: Yeah. You just don’t talk about it on the third date.

Lexi Kornblum: No. No.

Vanessa Barajas: For sure.

Juli Bauer: I didn’t find a file of sex photos, but. Just an awkward sex comment.

Lexi Kornblum: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: But I think about that every time. He’ll pop on my “people you may know” like on Facebook or something. And I’m like, ugh! I don’t need to know. I don’t need to know.

Lexi Kornblum: Yeah. Don’t need to know.

Juli Bauer: What about you guys? Any weird dating stories at all?

Lexi Kornblum: In college, I saw this guy a few times. And he was; well, the whole thing was kind of crazy. You know, college, you’re drinking a lot. So it was winter. Winter in New England, so it was really icy.

Juli Bauer: Winter is coming.

Lexi Kornblum: So this part is embarrassing on me. But I’ll get to the embarrassing on him. So, I’m walking up the hill. I’m so drunk. I’m going to be sick I think. I fall down the ice. I slip on the ice; get up, slip again. Get up, slip again, and then throw up.

Juli Bauer: At least you don’t have far after falling.

Lexi Kornblum: I went up the hill to his house, in the drive way.

Everybody: {laughing}

Lexi Kornblum: So meanwhile; it was unreal. I wish it was on video. Meanwhile this guy wants to hang out with me. It’s like, a few times.

Juli Bauer: There’s your sign. He’s like, yeah, let’s hang out. You got a little throw up.

Lexi Kornblum: I just kept falling. Anyways. We hadn’t been hanging out for a bit at that point. We were fooling around. We were in his den. And then he started to; he was kind of into working out, but kind of body building or whatever. It was like, you could totally think that was his life. So we’re fooling around, and he’s calling me like cowgirl.

Everybody: {laughs}

Juli Bauer: No.

Lexi Kornblum: I was like, what’s going on. This is getting weird. So anyway.

Juli Bauer: Cowgirl? In New York?

Lexi Kornblum: Boston.

Juli Bauer: Boston! {laughs}

Lexi Kornblum: He was calling me really weird names. Like cowgirl, bull rider. I’m like, what is happening. It got real weird ok. The next morning, he’s like, you don’t want a protein shake? I wake up and he’s like, “Want a protein shake?” I’m like, no. I’m good. And you know guys, they’re really into working out they have protein shakes. They get the protein shake farts. It’s not pretty.

Everybody: Oh no.

Juli Bauer: Protein shake farts?

Lexi Kornblum: Yeah, like it just smells. They smell.

Juli Bauer: No.

Lexi Kornblum: OK well that happens.

Juli Bauer: No! Are you serious?

Lexi Kornblum: So he was really, it was not a good situation. But he was trying to force a protein shake down my throat. He was like, you have to! Why don’t you want it? It was bad. I heard him in the bathroom.

Cassy Joy: Ugh!

Vanessa Barajas: Eww.

Juli Bauer: Oh my god!

Lexi Kornblum: Like, I wasn’t cute last night. You’re not cute today.

Vanessa Barajas: It’s too early in the relationship to not be cute.

Lexi Kornblum: He was calling me cowgirl. I was like, I’m not a cowgirl. Though I do want cowboy boots.

Everybody: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: Yeah, Lexi wants to get cowboy boots today.

Lexi Kornblum: I do. I’m going to.

Juli Bauer: That’s on our to-do list.

Lexi Kornblum: I’ve got to go.

Juli Bauer: Just so she can live up to her name.

Lexi Kornblum: But anyway. It just got really weird. He was like protein shakes. Calling me cowgirl and bull rider.

Juli Bauer: He wanted you to have the protein shake farts.

Lexi Kornblum: He didn’t necessarily want that, but he had that. I heard it through the bathroom.

Juli Bauer: Ga-ross!

Vanessa Barajas: Eww. Dude’s farting is gross. I’m not into it.

Cassy Joy: Ugh. So nasty.

Juli Bauer: Do you have any more dating stories, Cass?

Cassy Joy: I have this one that keeps coming to mind. I have never, what is it, ghosted? It was more like an about face.

Everybody: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: About faced?

Cassy Joy: You know, it’s a military turn where you turn around entirely?

Juli Bauer: What?

Cassy Joy: On a date.

Everybody: No.

Juli Bauer: Does anybody know that name?

Cassy Joy: I’m really good at words.

Juli Bauer: About faced?

Vanessa Barajas: I think you invented a new.

Cassy Joy: There are four people who may recognize it.

Juli Bauer: Four of the ten people listening? Doubtful.

Cassy Joy: Maybe 0.5. I haven’t ever really backed out on a date ever in my life. There was this guy. It was after I had dated this person who was really into outdoorsy sports. He was really cool, and we had a long relationship. But I was like; I was curious to date a very buttoned up guy. Right? Someone who is just; you know. He’s like an accountant. Or I don’t know.

Juli Bauer: Didn’t you marry an accountant?

Cassy Joy: Yes!

Everybody: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: So you were really into that. That goal.

Vanessa Barajas: That is Cassy’s thing.

Cassy Joy: I was curious. So there was this group of people I was hanging out with in San Antonio of young professionals. And there was this one guy, and he was super nice. And he just seemed very put; I don’t know. Just a respectable dude, right. He was just very well groomed.

Vanessa Barajas: Clean cut.

Cassy Joy: Clean cut! That’s the word. Thank you.

Lexi Kornblum: Mature.

Cassy Joy: Yeah. So I was ready for a more mature kind of dude, right? And he was such a poser. It was so interesting. So we went on a couple of dates. And on the second or third one, we went back to his apartment. Of course, to watch a movie. And I’m so naive. I was like, yeah. Let’s go watch a movie.

Vanessa Barajas: {laughing} So you Netflix and chilled before…

Cassy Joy: I’d love to watch a movie.

Juli Bauer: I had no idea Netflix and chill meant sex.

Lexi Kornblum: I didn’t know that at all.

Juli Bauer: I just thought it meant hang out.

Lexi Kornblum: I’m like, I always Netflix and chill for real.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, by myself. All the time.

Lexi Kornblum: I Netflix and chill in my room. Yeah.

Cassy Joy: It makes perfect sense. So we get back to his apartment. We walk into the living room, and it’s like a den. So we go from very crisp, he probably got his shirt dry cleaned, perfectly brushed hair.

Lexi Kornblum: So you would think that the vibe would be that his apartment would be super nice.

Cassy Joy: Yeah. It would be the same. And I can go with the flow, right? We walk in. He’s got, his futon takes up three-quarters of his entire living room.

Juli Bauer: Futon.

Lexi Kornblum: Such a guy.

Juli Bauer: Such a dude.

Cassy Joy: And it’s laid down flat, and has so many pillows all over it. And we’re going to watch this movie, where you have to lie down.

Juli Bauer: Ugh.

Cassy Joy: Anyways. So he starts getting frisky, and I needed a minute.

Everybody: {laughs}

Cassy Joy: So I was like, I’m going to go.

Juli Bauer: I need a minute.

Cassy Joy: This is not what I; I thought we were actually going to watch a movie.

Everybody: {laughing}

Lexi Kornblum: How old were you?

Cassy Joy: I’m probably 24.

Juli Bauer: She’s like 30. I haven’t made out with a guy yet.

Cassy Joy: He was 32. I get up to go to the restroom, and this is when I was like, I have to GTFO.

Everybody: {laughing}

Cassy Joy: I walked into the bathroom.

Juli Bauer: Way to get around that cussword Cassy.

Cassy Joy: I walked into his bathroom, and you guys. Just imagine the worst possible condition.

Juli Bauer: Uggh!

Lexi Kornblum: Like moldy.

Cassy Joy: Mold. I don’t think…

Juli Bauer: College dorm.

Cassy Joy: I don’t think that his toilet was working, but he kept using it.

Lexi Kornblum: Oh man.

Juli Bauer: No!

Cassy Joy: it looked like weeks!

Vanessa Barajas: No!

Lexi Kornblum: No. {laughs}

Cassy Joy: The most obscene I’ve ever seen.

Lexi Kornblum: Did it smell so bad?

Cassy Joy: It smelled. But he had the door closed. Anyway, I just had to go to the bathroom, and then I walked out. And I was like, I’m leaving.

Vanessa Barajas: Eww!

Cassy Joy: The guy that, you clearly floss your teeth. How can you live like this!

Everybody: Eww.

Cassy Joy: So I just learned. I don’t know. It’s not always what meets the eye.

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Lexi Kornblum: Yes.

Juli Bauer: You married a real clean accountant.

Cassy Joy: {laughs} He is. He’s tidier than I am, that sweet man.

Juli Bauer: Really? Your house is always. When I’ve been over, it’s always clean and well kept.

Cassy Joy: Yeah. It’s probably because of Austin.

Juli Bauer: You’re a really intense cleaner, too. Everything is in its proper place.

Vanessa Barajas: It’s place. Everything has a place. Everything’s tidy.

Juli Bauer: It’s so tidy. Are you a clean person Lexi?

Lexi Kornblum: I’m clean, but I’m not super neat. I’ll have some random stuff on my desk, that’s not totally put away. But now I have the cleaning people that come and it’s the best thing ever.

Cassy Joy: Oh it’s so nice.

Juli Bauer: The best. Mine went on maternity leave to have twins. She ain’t coming back.

Lexi Kornblum: I just don’t want to scrub the damn toilets. I don’t want to do it.

Juli Bauer: No.

Lexi Kornblum: He pees all over the toilet, I don’t want to do it.

Juli Bauer: I don’t mind cleaning toilets. I do not want to clean the stovetop.

Lexi Kornblum: Oh.

Juli Bauer: I f*cking hate it. It’s like, you clean it, and then you cook a pork chop, and there’s grease everywhere.

Everybody: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: So what’s the point? And then it’s so caked on because you’re like; hmm. I’m going to cook again in 46 minutes.

Lexi Kornblum: Yes. Scrape it off.

Juli Bauer: It’s the worst. I hate cleaning.

Lexi Kornblum: I hate cleaning.

Vanessa Barajas: Mine is, I won’t do. And I told Brad this when we first started dating. I said look. I’m kind of one of those weird people where I enjoy cleaning. I don’t mind it. It’s kind of almost therapeutic. You just put music on, go to town, do your thing. But I will not clean the bathtub. I hate cleaning bathtubs.

Juli Bauer: Oh! The shower and bathtub suck.

Vanessa Barajas: It’s just got the grime.

Juli Bauer: Film.

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah. And you just can’t get it off, no matter how much scrubbing bubbles you use.

Juli Bauer: I know. And scrubbing bubbles smells so gross.

Vanessa Barajas: It’s the worst.

Juli Bauer: When the foam ignites.

Vanessa Barajas: So I told him. I’ll clean the rest of the bathroom. I’ll clean the toilet all day. But I’m not cleaning the bathtub. So if you want that clean, you’re going to clean it yourself. So that’s the one. I won’t clean that.

Lexi Kornblum: He does it?

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah, he does it no problem. He gets in there, cleans it, and then takes a shower while he’s doing it.

Lexi Kornblum: Oh that’s good.

Vanessa Barajas: He has no problem with it. The other thing I won’t clean is the oven.

Juli Bauer: Oh yeah.

Vanessa Barajas: I refuse.

Lexi Kornblum: That’s why they have the steam. You just put a little water and push a button.

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Vanessa Barajas: No, my oven. I don’t have just a self-cleaning oven.

Lexi Kornblum: Ok.

Vanessa Barajas: You would need the gloves and the degreaser. And I refuse. So my oven is filthy.

Juli Bauer: Mine too.

Vanessa Barajas: Which means it cooks totally unevenly, because there is stuff that’s caked on over stuff that’s caked on.

Lexi Kornblum: Mm-hmm.

Juli Bauer: I never thought about that.

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah. It totally makes a difference. And he’s like, will you please clean the oven. You need to do that, because you made an entire cookbook.

Lexi Kornblum: Yeah.

Vanessa Barajas: And I didn’t really use the oven. So you need to clean that. And I was like, I’ll hire someone to clean it.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, just hire someone to just do that.

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah.

Lexi Kornblum: Sometimes with the cleaning people, I’ll add on an extra thing. And I’ll be like, can you do…

Vanessa Barajas: Like the fridge or something.

Lexi Kornblum: The fridge, can you do the oven, whatever.

Juli Bauer: And they have apps. What are those apps where you can hire.

Lexi Kornblum: Yeah there’s like TaskRabbit and Handybook. Handybook is a good one.

Juli Bauer: Just pay someone to just clean your oven.

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah.

Juli Bauer: Do you; now that your cookbook is done. How often do you bake?

Vanessa Barajas: Like zero to never.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, I bet.

Vanessa Barajas: Serious. I just.

Juli Bauer: How many dessert recipes do you have in your cookbook?

Vanessa Barajas: Well, I would say. I mean, the whole cookbook has over 150 recipes. And I would say I have probably about 20 savory recipes in there. So the rest would be dessert recipes.

Cassy Joy: Amazing.

Lexi Kornblum: Now, did you eat them all or did you give them away?

Vanessa Barajas: No. Oh my god.

Juli Bauer: Would you just taste and then give.

Vanessa Barajas: Exactly. Obviously, during development I would taste everything. And a lot of recipes. One of my favorite recipes in the book is the better than boxed brownies.

Lexi Kornblum: Those are really good.

Vanessa Barajas: That took probably three or four times to get everything right. Like the sugar amount. Because it was either too much, or there wasn’t enough. So I would have to takes those. And you have to pinpoint. What is this missing? I know it needs something, but I don’t’ know what it is.

Juli Bauer: You’re really good at that. Whenever you eat any sort of food, I can tell how you’re thinking about exactly. You process everything. I’m just like, mm. It tastes good. Bye.

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah. But I’m analyzing it scientifically. I’m like, hmm. Where is this flavor coming from?

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Vanessa Barajas: So yeah. My coworkers loved me. Because I would come in with all this stuff all the time. I would bring three or four recipes into work that I developed over the weekend. And people would just eat it. And it was actually cool, because you could see people that ate real non-gluten free paleo foods.

Lexi Kornblum: Yeah, like good taste testers.

Vanessa Barajas: Like, if they really liked it or not. And they’d be like, oh my god, this is so good. And then when I was making my soft batch chocolate chip cookies, I had the testers in different Ziploc baggies. Like, this is A, B, C, and D. I need you to taste each of these and tell me which one you liked the best. So a lot of stuff trying to get other people involved with it.

Juli and I were actually just talking about this yesterday. Sometimes when you make a recipe, you just need to make it to photograph it and put something on the blog, right? And then maybe it’s some time when I’m not going to see anybody or a whole bunch of people. So to get it out of the house so I don’t eat it, I have to throw it away in the trash. And then I told Juli; “And then I just pour water on it because otherwise I’ll just go into the trash and start eating it out of the trash!”

Juli Bauer: Yeah.

Vanessa Barajas: And Juli’s like, water? You’ve got to do soap.

Lexi Kornblum: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: Yeah, I will still go back in.

Vanessa Barajas: You can still eat it. It’s soggy; it’s fine.

Cassy Joy: {laughing}

Juli Bauer: I can still eat it. Soggy chocolate.

Vanessa Barajas: So I was like, ooh. Soap. So it’s wasteful sometimes.

Lexi Kornblum: I know.

Vanessa Barajas: But sometimes you’ve just got to do it.

Juli Bauer: And I give my stuff away. But sometimes, if it’s gone past the point. With paleo baked goods where it’s gone past the point that you want to give it to anybody, and you’re like; I don’t want people to think this is how it tastes. I’m like, trash, soap, out. I’m out.

Lexi Kornblum: Like, I was testing a banana bread so many times. And it stinks because I’m eating the batches that aren’t good because I have to try it. And I’m like; nah, if I eat one more piece of banana bread.

Juli Bauer: I know.

Vanessa Barajas: Yeah.

Lexi Kornblum: And Mike’s like, get this out of the house because I don’t want to be eating this all day.

Juli Bauer: Do you guys have a recipe from any of your books or your websites that is your go-to? So it could be a dessert, or it can be an entrée or a side dish. Or even a cocktail recipe that you make when you’re having house guests over or a party of whatever. Do you have your go-to recipes?

Lexi Kornblum: I have two.

Juli Bauer: What’s yours, Lexi.

Lexi Kornblum: When I do brunch, when people come over, I always do my waffles or pancakes.

Juli Bauer: Oh, they’re the best!

Lexi Kornblum: They’re fluffy, they’re the real deal. But then summer, the Mexican street corn salad that I just put on my blog.

Vanessa Barajas: Oh, it looks so good.

Lexi Kornblum: I make that every time we have people over.

Juli Bauer: What all is in it?

Lexi Kornblum: It’s corn, you could grill it. I get local corn. Do the best you can, people.

Juli Bauer: {laughs} Stop f*cking judging.

Lexi Kornblum: Good quality mayo. A ton of spices. You could do the optional feta or cotija cheese.

Juli Bauer: So good.

Lexi Kornblum: And just all this stuff. It flies off the table. So that’s my summer side salad go to. And at brunch, the pancake girl.

Juli Bauer: Those are so good. Highly recommend to anybody those. I love those so much. What about you, Ness?

Lexi Kornblum: You made them all. You share them online. Yeah, yeah.

Juli Bauer: Yeah, I shared them on my blog.

Lexi Kornblum: Yeah. People are always like,

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